Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Oh, you have to be kidding me,” Ron groaned

Harry didn’t register what else Ron was saying. They, along with everyone else who’d returned to complete their education, were sitting in the Great Hall on their first morning back. The rest of the school had returned the week before as usual, but the eighth-years had been given the ‘privilege’ of an extra week off so as to avoid unwanted attention on the journey to school. Professor McGonagall had just finished her welcoming speech – adapted specifically to the eighth-years – and had ended by revealing they wouldn’t be in the main dormitories but paired in individual private rooms. That wasn’t the worst part though. No, apparently they were also being paired with someone from a different house. Harry knew without being told who his roommate would be. If it wasn’t Ron, there was logically only other person it could be–

“Mr Potter and Mr Malfoy!”

Professor McGonagall’s voice interrupted Harry’s thoughts and he realised that people had been paired up around him and now it was his turn. He was aware of everyone’s eyes on him, but he carefully looked past them all until he found Malfoy who looked wary, but otherwise neutral about the announcement. He must have expected this too, Harry decided. Giving a slight nod, Harry turned back to McGonagall to await her next instruction.

“Your trunks have all been taken to your rooms. You can, of course, arrange yourselves in the room as you see fit. You may put up posters and other adornments, just as you could before,” McGonagall continued. “Your timetables are being finalised and will be with you before tomorrow morning. They will include self study periods, which you can spend either in the library or in your room. You will also have access to a Mind Healer should you require one. While we are not going to enforce regular contact, an appointment will be set up for each of you after a week has passed just to check how you are all coping with being back at school. We understand that this may be difficult for some of you and we want to ensure that you are not overwhelmed. We would like to ask you to spend the rest of today getting to know your new roommate as though this is the first time you have met. Please let old arguments and prejudices remain in the past. You have all been through so much together, despite your differences, that it would do none of you any good to reignite old feuds.”

There was a murmur of agreement around the Great Hall. Harry glanced over at Malfoy once more, but Malfoy was looking down at the table. He turned to Ron and Hermione. “Who are you two rooming with?”

“I’ve got Nott,” Ron replied with a frown. “I don’t know the first thing about him.”

“Well this is going to be your chance,” Hermione said drily. “I’ve been paired with Pansy. So at least I have some idea of what to expect.”

“Maybe this won’t be so bad,” Harry said hesitantly, glancing at the three Slytherins who looked like they were having a similar conversation. “I’m sure they wouldn’t have been allowed to return if there were any doubts about them.”

“No, you’re probably right,” Hermione replied. “And I don’t suppose they’ll do anything that would get them into trouble their first day.”

“I’d hope not,” Ron said with a snort. “Can you imagine if we just all got into massive duels the first day?”

“I suppose they think that we all know how to behave ourselves now, considering we’re adults,” Harry replied with a laugh. “Not that I feel like one.”

“No, me neither,” Hermione said. “Which is silly considering everything we did last year. We’re more than capable of going out into the world but this is just to complete our education. Which is important, of course.”

Harry and Ron exchanged amused glances. But before either of them could respond, Professor McGonagall cleared her throat once more.

“It is time for you to go to your rooms,” McGonagall said, holding her hands up. “They’re all on the same corridor, and you are able to visit one another’s rooms but please be mindful that you are still in school. No-one is to spend the night in someone else’s room, just as none of the younger students are permitted into anyone else’s dormitory. There are no prefects allocated to the eighth-year, which means you are all trusted to behave yourselves accordingly. Now, everybody please, follow me.”

There was a low rumble of murmuring as everyone stood up in unison and fell into line behind Professor McGonagall. As they trooped along corridor after corridor and up staircase after staircase, Harry lost sense of where exactly in the castle they were. Nothing really looked familiar and he realised after a few puzzling moments that this must be one of the parts of the castle that had been rebuilt. When he thought about it, it made sense. There wouldn’t have been room for a whole corridor of bedrooms previously.

Finally, they turned down a corridor that was somewhere on the third floor. It was lined with doors on both sides, each one with a shiny gold-coloured plaque on it. Professor McGonagall stopped and turned to face them.

“I will leave you here. The plaques on the doors show the names of each room’s occupants. You do not have to stay in your rooms, but please be mindful that the rest of the school started their lessons today. Mealtimes are to be taken in the Great Hall as usual. There will be an eighth-year table alongside the usual house tables, however, you may sit at your former house table if you would prefer. Does that make sense to everybody?”

There was a chorus of ‘yes, Professor McGonagall' from the gathered students. Professor McGonagall gave a single nod before turning on her heel and heading back the way they had come, leaving the eighth-year students to look at each other uncertainly.

Slowly, they began to walk along the corridor, examining each golden plaque in turn with the occupants of each room breaking off as the rest moved on. Finally, there was only Harry and Malfoy left as they reached the very end door.

Harry turned to Malfoy. “Looks like this is us.”

Malfoy snorted slightly. “Of course we’d be at the end of the corridor.”

“You think they’ve done it on purpose?” Harry asked, his hand on the doorknob.

“Probably. Trying to keep me out of the way of everyone else,” Malfoy muttered, shaking his head. “Go on then, open it.”

Harry raised an eyebrow but turned the doorknob, pushing the door open before stepping inside. Their trunks were placed in the centre of the room, a bed on either side and a window on the external wall. There were two desks placed between the beds, to enable them to do their studying, Harry supposed. He turned to Malfoy who was hovering in the doorway, a somewhat pained look on his face. “Are you– which bed do you want?”

Malfoy blinked and looked between the beds. “Oh. I, er, I don’t mind. You choose.”

Harry frowned slightly, but turned to look at the beds once more. “Are you sure?”

Malfoy half nodded before shaking his head. “No. Can I have the bed next to the window? Please?”

Harry resisted the urge to raise his eyebrows and nodded instead. “Yeah, of course. I’m happy with this one over here.”

Malfoy returned the nod. “Thank you.”

“No problem. Alright, now we’ve sorted that out, let’s move the trunks and then we can get everything else straightened out,” Harry said, seizing the handle of his own trunk and dragging it across to the end of his bed. He looked around the rest of the room. It was bigger than it looked from the outside and he wondered if it was the same magic that was used on the tents he’d seen at the Quidditch World Cup. A wardrobe stood against the wall that was opposite the end of his bed and he assumed it was for them to share.

While Harry was taking in his surroundings, Malfoy had moved his own trunk across to sit at the foot of his bed and was now crouched in front of it. He was holding onto a framed photograph, and Harry craned his neck slightly to try and see who was in the frame.

“Do you mind, Potter?” Malfoy asked, his eyebrow raised.

Harry flushed and looked down. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

Malfoy sighed and shook his head. “No, it’s… it’s alright. You’ll see it anyway if I put it on the nightstand. It’s my mother.”

“Just your mother?” Harry asked, sitting down on his own bed.

Malfoy nodded. “There are photos of my father, but none like this one of Mother. It… reminds me of my childhood. She was happier then. Before everything.”

Harry could see the photograph clearly now, and if he hadn’t been sitting down, he thought he would have fallen over as he’d never seen Narcissa Malfoy looking so carefree and happy before. “She does look happy.”

Malfoy nodded again as he stood up to sit on the edge of his bed. “This was taken during a family day out to the park. I was only young, not even six years old, and my father had just made a right pig’s ear of pushing me on a swing. He lost his balance and fell in a rose bush, which I, of course, thought was hilarious. Mother was laughing at me laughing.”

Harry smiled. “Sounds like a nice day out.”

“It was. That didn’t happen much once I got a bit older,” Malfoy replied with a wistful smile of his own. “Life was so much simpler back then, wasn’t it?”

Harry paused before nodding. “Yeah, I suppose it was. I don’t think I had quite as good a time as you, but I can’t deny that life was simpler.”

“Would you change it?” Malfoy asked, his voice quiet.

Harry shook his head, much quicker than he’d nodded. “No. I really wouldn’t. I don’t think I’d have enjoyed my life half as much if I hadn’t come to Hogwarts. As pathetic as that sounds.”

“No, it’s not pathetic. I do sort of feel the same. Father wanted to send me to Durmstrang, you know,” Malfoy said with a snort. “Can you imagine?”

Harry laughed. “You didn’t want to live in permanent winter?”

Malfoy gave an exaggerated shudder. “Absolutely not. Don’t get me wrong, I like winter but I don’t think I’d have coped with it all year round.”

“Probably would have kept you away from everything that went on over the last couple of years though,” Harry replied. “If you’d known that, would you have gone?”

Malfoy thought for a moment before he shook his head. “No, I don’t think I would have. Mother and Father would still have been involved, I’m sure, so I’m sure I would have been dragged into it wherever I was.”

Harry sighed. “You’re probably right. It was a right mess, wasn’t it?”

Malfoy nodded. “You could say that.”

They fell silent, each gazing down at their bedspread for a few moments.

Harry looked up at Malfoy. “How do you feel about being put in a room with me?”

Malfoy looked up with a start. He frowned slightly and then shrugged. “I don’t really care. I mean, I’d rather it was you than someone less predictable.”

Harry screwed his nose up in a frown. “Less predictable? What do you mean?”

“Well, I know you. I know what you’re likely to do,” Malfoy replied. “If it was one of the others, I wouldn’t know what to expect. We might not have… seen eye to eye in the past, but I don’t feel like you’re about to punch me at any moment. Well, not anymore anyway.”

Harry snorted and shook his head. “No. Maybe at one time I would have liked to, but not now. I want to try and do what Professor McGonagall suggested and start fresh. Like this is the first time we’ve met.”

“I don’t think it’s that simple. Not for us. We have too much history,” Malfoy said, frowning again. “I don’t think either of us can forget, exactly. But… I can apologise. For everything. I’d like to say I’m a different person, but I don’t know if I am yet. I want to try.”

Harry nodded thoughtfully. “I suppose you’re right. I have to admit, I don’t actually blame you for doing what you did. Not now, not given the situation you were in. I couldn’t say that I wouldn’t have done the same in your situation. I do want to apologise for what I did to you in that bathroom. I know I didn’t apologise at the time, and I should have. I think I was in a bit of shock, if I’m honest. I… didn’t know what the spell did, and I shouldn’t have used it. I regretted it but, I suppose, I was afraid to come and see you in the hospital wing because of how I put you there. I… I’m sorry.”

Malfoy was gazing silently at his bedspread again. He didn’t speak for a good few seconds and Harry wondered if he’d made a mistake in bringing up the bathroom incident. “While I was in the hospital wing, I hated you more than I thought possible,” Malfoy said quietly. “Half of me wished you’d done the job properly. It would have got me out of that wretched mission. But the other half of me was furious that you’d cost me valuable time. I was terrified of what might happen if he found out, but he never seemed to. I suppose I probably have Severus to thank for that, not that I would have thanked him at the time. I was so… desperate to prove that I didn’t need his help. But now… I wish he was here to thank.”

Harry swallowed the lump that had appeared in his throat and nodded. “Me too,” he whispered.

“I don’t forgive you for using that spell. It was reckless and stupid of you,” Malfoy continued, though his voice lacked any real malice, Harry noted. “But I’m still here, and I don’t reckon that I can blame you for doing what you thought was necessary anymore than you blame me for doing what I did. I think… I think I’d like to put it behind us though. Start over as best we can.”

Harry nodded. “I understand. I think I’d like that too. Especially if we’re going to be living together for the year.”

“Alright, then let’s not speak about it again,” Malfoy said, sitting up a bit straighter. “Unless we need to, for whatever reason. My scars are still a bit more visible than I’d like them to be, just so you know. My own fault, I rather neglected to use the dittany Severus gave me. Regularly enough, anyway.”

“I daresay I have some scars of my own that might surprise you,” Harry said, shaking his head slightly. “I can tell you about them later, if you want. They’re reminders, but I’m a bit used to them now.”

“Maybe. For now, let’s agree to keep to safe topics of conversation,” Malfoy said, sticking his hand out. “Yes?”

Harry nodded, grasping Malfoy’s hand and giving it a firm shake. It struck him that Malfoy’s hands were nothing like his own. Harry’s own hands were rough and calloused from a summer of hard work helping repair the castle and in the garden at The Burrow, but Malfoy’s were a lot softer and warmer than Harry had expected. Just another piece of information about Malfoy that he could file away in the imaginary binder that he kept in his mind.

“How are you feeling about speaking to the Mind Healer?” Malfoy asked after another moment of silence.

“I’ve been speaking to a Mind Healer regularly since last year,” Harry said, without thinking. He hadn’t planned on letting Malfoy know that yet. “So it won’t be any different, I suppose. You?”

Malfoy licked his lips before answering. “The same, actually. I didn’t want to at first, but it was… imposed on me by the Ministry, and actually, it’s been quite helpful.”

Harry nodded, hoping his face didn’t show his surprise. “Do you think others have been?”

Malfoy shrugged. “I wouldn’t like to say for sure, but it wouldn’t surprise me. I would suspect that some people who probably should have been speaking to one haven’t been, though.”

Harry nodded again. “I think you’re probably right. I haven’t even spoken to Ron and Hermione about whether they’ve seen a Mind Healer yet. I don’t know why, it just feels like a strange thing to talk about with them.”

“What makes me different, then?” Malfoy asked, tilting his head slightly.

Harry shrugged. “No idea. But it’s probably a good thing that I am talking to you about it, isn’t it?”

Malfoy snorted. “I suppose. Are you nervous about eating in the Great Hall with everyone else there?”

Harry nodded. “It’s going to be strange. I mean, without sounding big-headed, I’ve always been stared at. But it’s going to be weirder now.”

Malfoy nodded too. “My thoughts exactly. Would you consider sitting at the Gryffindor table?”

Harry chewed his lower lip slightly. “I don’t know. I thought maybe we would just be sitting at the house tables before we actually got back here. But then McGonagall said we’ve got our own and I thought… I don’t think I’d get a moment’s peace if I sat at the Gryffindor table.”

“Yeah… I think I’d be in the same boat if I sat at the Slytherin table. I know if I wanted to sit there, Pansy would be by my side and wouldn’t let anyone touch me,” Malfoy said. “But all I can think about is the amount of stares and comments I’d get. I think at least if I sit with everyone else in our year, I’d be able to eat in peace. It all feels different now. I know that half of them – probably more – hate me, but they’re not going to bother me at mealtimes, are they?”

Harry shook his head. “No, probably not. For the record I don’t think any of them actually hate you. They probably don’t like you very much, but I think that most of them understand now that you didn’t have much choice about doing the things you did.”

“Yeah, right,” Malfoy replied with a snort. “Thank you for pretending, though.”

“No, seriously,” Harry said, his eyes widening slightly. “We all did things that we never thought we’d do. Yours were just… more extreme than most.”

Malfoy looked at him, one eyebrow raised.

Harry sighed. “Alright, maybe I’m talking about myself more than anyone else. I don’t hate you. Which I suppose is a good thing, since we’re sharing a room.”

“Thanks,” Malfoy replied, a half smile on his face. “I don’t hate you either.”

Harry laughed, feeling more relaxed now than he had done when they first walked into the room. “Alright, good. At least we’re on the same page. I don’t suppose we’ll get along every minute of the day but at least we’re off on the right foot.”

Malfoy nodded. “Yeah. I think we are.”

As the weeks passed, Harry realised that he was far more comfortable in Malfoy’s company than he thought he would be. They spent the first few days sort of tiptoeing around each other while they were in the room, until Saturday night arrived.

Harry was woken by Malfoy letting out a scream that could have shattered glass. Fumbling for his glasses and wand, Harry cast Lumos and rolled over so that he could look across to Malfoy’s bed. He could see Malfoy sitting up in his bed, his head in his hands as his chest heaved.

Sitting up himself, Harry swung his legs over the edge of the bed but hesitated. “Malfoy?” he whispered. “What is it?”

Malfoy didn’t speak, and Harry could hear him fighting to control his breathing.

“It’s okay,” Harry said softly. “Y-you’re okay. I’m here. Just me.”

Malfoy took a deep breath, releasing it shakily before he removed his hands from his face. “Sorry I woke you,” he murmured.

Harry shook his head. “It’s fine… do you want to talk about it?”

Malfoy shook his head too. “Not really.”

“You sure? I don’t mind… I’ve had my share of nightmares. Still do, sometimes,” Harry replied.

“I’m sure,” Malfoy said. “I can’t… I’m supposed to write it down. That’s what the Mind Healer said I should do.”

“Have you got a journal? Do you want me to get it for you?” Harry asked, looking around.

“On the desk,” Malfoy replied. “There’s a quill too. I should have brought it over here.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got it,” Harry said, lighting the lamps on the wall before grabbing the journal from Malfoy’s desk and passing it across to him. Although the desks were between the beds, they weren’t close enough to be reached from their beds.

“Thank you,” Malfoy said softly. “I just need to write this down. Then I’ll be able to talk about it.”

Harry retreated to his own bed, sitting cross-legged on it and pulling his duvet across his lap. He watched as Malfoy breathed out slowly before opening his journal and beginning to write. The quill scratched at the paper as Malfoy’s thoughts poured from his mind.

A few moments later, Malfoy closed the journal and set it down on his nightstand. “I feel better now.”

“It’s amazing how much writing things down can help, isn’t it?” Harry asked.

Malfoy nodded. “I didn’t believe it would at first, but it does help after a nightmare. It calms me down.”

“I know what you mean,” Harry replied with a nod of his own. “I’ve been there, too.”

“I wish I could stop them from happening,” Malfoy said, sighing. “They happen less now, but then it takes me by surprise and it always seems worse than it is.”

“Do you take anything to help you sleep?” Harry asked. “I’ve had Dreamless Sleep for mine before.”

Malfoy shook his head. “No. I used to when I was getting them more regularly, but when they started happening less, I stopped taking it because I kept sleeping late.”

Harry nodded. “Makes sense. Must be annoying for you, though.”

“This is the first one I’ve had in months,” Malfoy admitted. “I think being back here might have something to do with it.”

“But we’ve been here for a few days now,” Harry said with a frown. “What made today different?”

“I went up to the seventh floor,” Malfoy replied. “I felt like… like I had to go back there, you know? But maybe it was a bad idea.”

“I get why you did though,” Harry said. “I could have gone with you, if you’d said.”

“I didn’t know I was going to end up there,” Malfoy said with a shrug. “I was just… wandering and ended up there.”

“Okay, well, just so you know, I wouldn’t mind going for a wander with you sometimes,” Harry replied. “It can be a nice way to clear your head.”

Malfoy nodded. “It can indeed. Although not much good if it results in nightmares, I suppose.”

“No, but perhaps having company would help,” Harry said. “Do you feel better now? Think you can go back to sleep?”

“Yeah,” Malfoy said, stifling a yawn. “I think I can. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Harry replied, uncrossing his legs so that he could lie down again. He took his glasses off and put them back on his nightstand. “Good night.”

“Night, Potter,” Malfoy murmured.

Harry extinguished the lamps and put his wand down. Lowering his head onto the soft pillow, he found himself listening to Malfoy’s breathing just to make sure that he really was okay. It didn’t take long before he was asleep.

“Potter!”

Harry, who was walking across the courtyard, half-turned before an arm flung itself around his shoulders. “Malfoy, you know we’ve got our self study period now, don’t you?”

“Of course,” Malfoy replied, patting Harry’s chest lightly. “I wanted to ask if you’d test me on some of the Muggle Studies homework. There are bits I just don’t understand and I’m sure I’ll need them to pass the exam.”

“Well, I was planning on doing some Potions revision, but maybe we can help each other,” Harry replied. “If I help you with your Muggle Studies, you can help me with the Potions revision?”

“Alright, I think I can cope with that,” Malfoy replied. “Let’s go.”

Harry snorted and poked him in the side. “Anyone would think you enjoyed Muggle Studies.”

“Hey, don’t say it like that. I like it more than I used to,” Malfoy said, pouting slightly.

Harry laughed. They were three months into the school year now, approaching the Christmas holidays and their relationship had developed from something tentative to a strong friendship that Harry would put on par with the friendship between himself, Ron and Hermione. They’d spent a lot of their free time in their room, talking and doing their homework. When they weren’t in their room, they still spent a lot of time with one another, either walking around the school and grounds or sitting in the communal area with all of their friends. It was still a strange scenario, Harry thought. To be sitting around with the likes of Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy was something he’d never thought would happen, but it was becoming more common.

“So,” Harry began. “What are you doing for Christmas? Are you going home?”

Malfoy snorted this time. “No. I’ve asked to stay here. The less time I spend in that place at the moment, the better.”

“What about your parents?” Harry asked, ducking out from under Malfoy’s arm to walk alongside him. “Won’t they mind?”

Malfoy shook his head, hoisting his bag further onto his shoulder. “No. Mother actually told me to stay so that I get to have at least one pleasant year at Hogwarts.”

Harry laughed. “I suppose that’s fair enough. Who else is staying, do you know?”

“No, no idea,” Malfoy replied. “I sort of hope not many. Without lessons, it would give people an excuse to bother me.”

Harry laughed again. “I don’t suppose there’ll be many of our year staying this time. They’d have helped keep some of the younger years away.”

“Would they? I still get the feeling that some of them hate me,” Malfoy said with a frown. “Sorry, not hate, dislike. Although they’re both the same, really.”

“I think you’re imagining it,” Harry said. “But at the same time, some of them do like to hold a grudge. At the end of the day, though, I think that if any of them heard a younger student giving you a hard time over something that happened during the battle, they’d stick up for you. No matter what their opinions are, they all know the truth.”

Malfoy snorted. “All the same, I’d rather not find out. If there’s just me, I can spend most of my time in our room where I’m comfortable.”

“You’d be expected down for meals, you know that, don’t you?” Harry asked. They were in the corridor leading to the eighth-year rooms now.

“Of course. Like I’d dream of missing the food,” Malfoy said with another snort. “I’m not stupid.”

Harry laughed as they reached their room. “Alright, alright. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to hide away and starve.”

“I’m touched,” Malfoy said with a smirk. “I didn’t know you cared that much.”

“Hey, what kind of roommate would I be if I didn’t look out for you? Right, which do you want to do first, Muggle Studies or Potions?” Harry replied.

“Muggle Studies, obviously. Then I get a reward of Potions,” Malfoy said, giving Harry a look that implied he’d asked a stupid question.

“Oh, of course, forgive me for my stupidity.” Harry grinned at him over his shoulder. “Desks or beds?”

“Beds. We might as well be comfortable while doing it,” Malfoy replied, dropping his bag onto his bed and shrugging off his outer robe. “Especially because it’s bloody freezing out there.”

“I know, all we’re missing is the snow,” Harry said, shivering exaggeratedly. “But I bet it’ll be here soon. We’ve never had a Christmas here without snow.”

“Yeah… it feels late this year, though,” Malfoy said with a frown. “Do you think it’s late?”

“Considering we’re in the Highlands, it probably is,” Harry replied. “But for the rest of the country, probably not. Anyway, stop delaying and get your Muggle Studies stuff out.”

“Alright, Potter, calm down,” Malfoy said, raising an eyebrow. “You could at least buy me a drink first.”

Harry laughed. “If you pass the exam, I’ll buy you all the drinks you want.”

“Is that a challenge?” Malfoy asked.

“If you want it to be,” Harry replied lightly. “But for now, let’s look at this Muggle Studies homework.”

Malfoy gazed at him for a moment before picking up his bag and pulling out his Muggle Studies homework.

The first morning of the Christmas holiday arrived and Harry watched as the majority of the students made their way to the gates of the school where they were met by the carriages that would take them to Hogsmeade Station. He’d made the decision to stay at the last minute, even with Ron and Hermione both heading to The Burrow, he’d felt like he wanted to try and replicate some of the memories he had of past Christmases spent at Hogwarts.

He hadn’t mentioned it to Malfoy, though he didn’t really know why. Malfoy had already left their room when Harry had woken that morning, and try as he might, Harry hadn’t been able to find him. He’d gone to see Ron and Hermione off with the intention of trying the seventh floor, remembering where Malfoy had been that first weekend of term.

Before Harry could head for the stairs, a very well-manicured hand gripped his arm. He looked down into the face of Pansy Parkinson, whose eyes were flashing dangerously.

“Where’s Draco?” she demanded.

“I don’t know,” Harry said, taking an automatic step backwards. “I haven’t seen him this morning, he’d gone from our room when I woke up and he wasn’t in the Great Hall.”

“Does he know you’re staying?” Pansy asked with a frown.

Harry shook his head. “I only decided last night and he was already asleep so I didn’t tell him.”

“Listen to me, Potter. I know we have had our issues in the past, but we have something in common now – Draco. He’s struggled since last year, but you seem to have helped. So you’d better look after him this holiday,” Pansy said, pointing a finger at him. “As far as I know, he’s only stayed here a couple of times over the holidays and this year is bound to be harder. I would stay, but my mother is alone at home and I can’t stand the thought of that.”

Harry held his hands up. “I’ll make sure he’s alright. I’m going to look for him now, I have an idea where he is.”

“Good. Tell him I said goodbye and that I will write from home,” Pansy replied, stepping away from Harry. She took two steps before turning back. “Oh, and Potter… if he lets you in, then you should see it as a privilege. He doesn’t let many people in fully.”

Harry nodded, unsure of what else to say.

“Good. Have a nice Christmas,” Pansy said, wiggling her fingers before turning and continuing on her way.

“Yeah… you too,” Harry replied vaguely, knowing she wouldn’t hear him. Her words were ringing in his ears, even as he turned and headed back into the school. It was far quieter than it normally was now that most of the students had gone off to the station, but that only meant he reached the seventh floor quicker. As he stepped onto the landing, he paused to take a deep breath. He hadn’t been up here since the battle, and he suddenly understood how easily Malfoy must have been overwhelmed. He’d spent almost every day of the last seven years walking the corridors on this floor, between the Gryffindor common room, the Room of Requirement and the head’s office. Memories had flooded back as soon as he’d stepped off the staircase and he needed a moment before he could go looking for Malfoy.

Walking down the corridor, he skirted past the Fat Lady’s portrait without looking at it. He knew there’d been damage caused during the battle, and he wasn’t prepared to see how restoration had been handled. He continued walking until he reached the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. He tried to avoid looking at the wall opposite, but he realised that the entrance to the Room of Requirement was visible. He supposed, then, that Malfoy must be inside. Taking a deep breath, Harry stepped forward and pulled the door open, unsure of what he’d find inside.

Looking around as he crossed the threshold, there wasn’t much to see. But sitting on the floor in the centre of the room was Malfoy. He wasn’t doing anything, just… sitting. Harry hovered for a moment in the doorway before moving across the room until he reached Malfoy’s side. Without saying anything, he lowered himself to the floor so that he was sitting too.

In the silence that followed, Harry found himself thinking about people who hadn’t survived the battle, particularly Crabbe, who’d fallen victim to the Fiendfyre he’d created. Whatever he’d thought about Crabbe in the past, he hadn’t deserved that end, Harry thought.

“I didn’t know you were staying,” Malfoy said quietly. “I didn’t think anyone would find me.”

“Yeah, well, when I’m being threatened by your best friend, I thought I’d better make it my priority,” Harry replied. “I only decided to stay last night. After you went to sleep.”

“Okay,” Malfoy said in the same quiet voice. He paused before speaking again. “Pansy threatened you?”

“Well, not in so many words, but I got her meaning,” Harry said. “She said to tell you goodbye and that she’ll write from home.”

Malfoy smiled. “I wouldn’t have expected anything else from her.”

“She seems like a good friend,” Harry replied.

“She is. She’s always been there for me, even when I tried to push her away,” Malfoy said. “I was trying to keep her safe.”

Harry nodded. “I’m sure she understood.”

“She said she did. Things are better now, obviously,” Malfoy replied. “But she still worries.”

“That’s what friends are for,” Harry replied with a smile. “It’s what made me come looking for you.”

“Thank you,” Malfoy said. “I would have come back to the room eventually.”

“I know. But, I thought that maybe you didn’t really want to be alone,” Harry said. “It must be tough for you being in here.”

“I wanted to be in here,” Malfoy replied softly. “This is what I was really trying to do that day I had the nightmare. I just… wanted to feel close to him.”

“You must miss him a lot. I can’t remember a time that I saw you without Crabbe and Goyle by your side,” Harry said. “What was he like? As a person, I mean. I didn’t know him that well.”

“He was quite quiet, didn’t say much unless you asked him about something he really liked,” Malfoy said. “He was a good friend, though. He’d have done anything for you if you were friends. He’d changed by the night of the battle. When he created the Fiendfyre, I realised he’d probably been in deeper than me. I’d been so preoccupied with what was going on in my own life that I didn’t even consider what my friends were being put through. If I’d talked to him, maybe I could have… I don’t know, stopped him from taking such drastic measures? Goyle didn’t know either, though, so I don’t know if anything would have changed his mind. It’s sad, really.”

“Yeah, it is. It’s something we shouldn’t have had to go through,” Harry replied. “We were just kids. I don’t know about you, but I do feel a bit let down by the adults in my life. I don’t think I fully realised it at the time, but it wasn’t right how we were treated.”

“Mind Healer?” Malfoy asked, turning his head to look at Harry.

Harry laughed and nodded. “Yeah. Talking things through with them helped me put things into perspective.”

Malfoy nodded too, looking ahead again. “I found the same. In fact, I think they said something similar to me. I’d never thought about it like that before, but it all made sense when I was talking with them.”

“I suppose the important thing for us to remember is that neither of us were to blame for anything that happened,” Harry said. “And yes, that’s another thing from the Mind Healers before you ask. We did what we had to do to survive and we were lucky it worked. It’s what we do next that matters.”

“Very profound, Potter,” Malfoy replied with a snort. “Alright then, what are you going to do next? Presumably you do mean after you finish school.”

“Of course I mean after we finish school,” Harry said, laughing. “I actually don’t know yet. I’m re-evaluating my career choice. After the last couple of years, I’m not really sure I want to join the Aurors anymore. What about you?”

“I don’t know either,” Malfoy said, looking across at Harry briefly before turning his gaze to the floor. “I don’t even remember what I said at that careers meeting we had after our O.W.L.s, you know. It happened right after the summer holidays, didn’t it, so when we came back to school I had everything that happened at home on my mind. It all seemed so much more important than what career I wanted, because at that point I didn’t… I didn’t know if I’d survive what was coming to have a career.”

Harry bit his lip. “I didn’t think of it like that. Alright, so do you have any thoughts about what you want to do now?”

“Well, certainly not the Aurors,” Malfoy began, frowning in thought. “I don’t even know if they’d have me if I did want to join them. But I think I would maybe like to do something that makes a difference somehow. I don’t know what.”

Harry tilted his head slightly. “That would be good if you could. Have you spoken to McGonagall about any options?”

Malfoy shook his head. “No, not yet. I want to have a think about it for myself for a bit longer. See if I can decide what direction I want to go in.”

Harry nodded. “That makes sense.” He paused. “You’ll let me know if you want to talk about it?”

A smile crossed Malfoy’s face and he nodded. “Yeah, I will. Thanks.”

“Good,” Harry replied with a smile of his own. “So, outside of a career, what do you want to do? Will you go back to the Manor with your parents?”

Malfoy hesitated and then shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. I’d probably want to try and strike out on my own. I don’t suppose I’ll be much good at first, but how will I know if I don’t try?”

“Where will you go?” Harry asked. “I mean, I know you have money, but will you buy a house or something?”

Malfoy shrugged. “I haven’t thought that far. I thought I’d wait until closer to the end of the year.”

“I’m… okay, this might be a crazy thought, but I’ve got a house,” Harry said without looking at Malfoy. “I’m planning on living there once I leave here. It’s a big house. Plenty of room…”

“Potter, spit it out,” Malfoy said. His voice had taken on a strange, hushed tone.

“Look, I’m just thinking out loud, really. But there would be more than enough room for the both of us in the house, and if you’re really not keen on going back to the Manor, then maybe it would make sense for us to… move in together,” Harry said, frowning slightly. “We’re managing to share a room here with no problem, surely it would be alright in a house with three times the room?”

Malfoy looked at him. “You want me to live with you? After… everything?”

Harry looked back and nodded. “Yeah. I know that we’re still just, sort of, getting to know each other but it would give you your independence from your parents but without any real risk of losing your house. My house. The house. And we’d both have company.”

Malfoy gave him an amused look. “Alright, alright, I see what you’re saying. It does sound… like a solution. A mad one, but maybe mad enough that it would work.”

“You don’t have to make a decision now, anyway,” Harry said. “We’ve got months until the end of the school year. Just… think about it.”

“I will. Thank you for the offer,” Malfoy replied with a nod. “Wouldn’t it be awkward if your Weasley girl was there?”

“Ginny? No, why would you think she’d be there?” Harry asked, frowning in confusion.

“Isn’t she your girlfriend?” Malfoy asked, raising his eyebrows slightly.

“Oh. No,” Harry said, shaking his head. “We broke things off in the summer. We realised we were better off as friends. I definitely wasn’t in the right headspace for any kind of relationship.”

“I see. Sorry, I didn’t realise,” Malfoy replied. “But even so, you probably won’t be single forever. That could be awkward, couldn’t it?”

“I don’t think it would have to be,” Harry said. “And anyway, what about you? Are you single now?”

“I am. But I don’t think that’s a surprise, do you?” Malfoy asked, one eyebrow raised. “Given my past. Added to that, I don’t think any potential partner of mine would be freaked out by you being my housemate.”

Harry made a face. “Alright, fair point. It’s not quite the same I suppose, but I honestly don’t think it would be a problem.”

Malfoy shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter to me anyway. I’ve got other priorities at the moment.”

“Same here,” Harry said. “So see how it won’t be an issue?”

Malfoy gave a snort of laughter. “Yeah, yeah, alright. Okay, shall we go back to our room? I feel better now.”

“Yeah, come on,” Harry replied with a nod. “Maybe we can have a game of chess or something to pass the time until lunchtime.”

“Sounds good.”

They both got to their feet and made their way out of the Room of Requirement and back to their room.

The days passed in a flurry of snowfall and games of chess. Harry was beaten almost every time, but he found that he didn’t mind. The only other students staying for the holiday were a couple of first-year Hufflepuffs, a third-year Gryffindor and a surly-looking fifth-year Ravenclaw. The day before Christmas Eve, Harry and Malfoy took it upon themselves to initiate a snowball fight with the first-years who, although shy at first, were soon throwing snowballs with gusto. They high-fived each other when Harry was hit squarely in the forehead with a particularly well aimed throw.

“You could at least avenge me,” Harry exclaimed as he took his glasses off to wipe them, gesturing to Malfoy at the same time.

“I’m sorry, but that was a very good shot,” Malfoy replied, his laughter subsided. “I think it might be time to concede defeat, don’t you?”

Putting his glasses back on, Harry eyed the two first-years warily. They were poised to run, should Harry show any signs of throwing a snowball back at them. He looked back at Malfoy. “Yeah, alright. I’m starting to feel cold now.”

He and Malfoy turned to face the first-years together before kneeling down in the snow, their heads bowed.

The first-years whooped and cheered, hugging each other as though they’d won the House Cup.

Harry and Malfoy exchanged a grin as they stood up.

“Come on,” Harry said. “Let’s go and see if we can get some hot chocolate from the kitchens.”

“That sounds like the best idea you’ve had today,” Malfoy replied with a nod.

“You mean you haven’t enjoyed this fierce battle with the first-years?” Harry asked with a grin. His cheeks were stinging from the cold, but he couldn’t help but grin. He’d never seen Malfoy so free as he’d been while throwing snowballs at the first-years.

“It was a fantastic battle, I’ll give you that, but I am definitely ready to go and curl up somewhere warm with a book and a mug of hot chocolate,” Malfoy said, laughing.

“Alright, let’s go. Come on, you two,” Harry replied, calling to the first-years over his shoulder. “Professor Sprout will never forgive us if you catch a cold or something.”

The four of them trooped through the snow and into the castle, heading straight for the kitchens where Harry sweet-talked the house-elves into giving each of them a large mug of steaming hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and tiny marshmallows.

The four of them clinked their mugs together before they went their separate ways. The first-years went into their common room, making sure that neither Harry or Malfoy saw the way they opened the entrance.

Amused at their exaggerated secrecy, Harry and Malfoy made their way across the school and up the stairs that led to their rooms. After changing out of their wet clothes, they went back out into the communal lounge area where there was a fire roaring in the fireplace.

Malfoy settled himself on the sofa closest to the fire and pulled out a battered copy of A Christmas Carol.

“A Muggle book?” Harry asked, sitting down at the opposite end of the sofa, mug in hand.

“Oh, shush. I read it every year,” Malfoy replied. “I can’t remember where I first got hold of it, but I enjoyed it. Even if it is a bit hard to understand in some places.”

Harry chuckled. “Alright, as long as you enjoy it. Do you mind if I just close my eyes for a bit?”

Malfoy shook his head. “No, feel free. As long as you don’t snore.”

Harry looked at him, offended. “I just said close my eyes, not sleep!”

“We all know that ‘close my eyes’ is code for sleep, Potter,” Malfoy replied, his eyebrow raised.

“Well,” Harry huffed. “Maybe I’m the exception.”

Malfoy snorted. “Whatever you say. Alright, close your eyes. I’ll wake you up in time for dinner.”

Harry chuckled, shifting so that he was more comfortable and closing his eyes. “Thanks. Enjoy your book. I’m not sure I’ve ever read it.”

“I can read it to you while you close your eyes, if you like?” Malfoy asked, looking over at Harry.

“Really?” Harry asked, opening his eyes again to look back at Malfoy, who nodded.

“Yeah. I don’t mind reading from the beginning, or I can just carry on from where I am if you don’t mind?” Malfoy replied. “You know the story, right?”

“Of course. I’ve seen the Muppet Christmas Carol film,” Harry said, shifting once more, resting his head on a cushion. “Read from where you are.”

“Alright, here we go,” Malfoy replied, opening the book and beginning to read.

Harry closed his eyes again, listening to Malfoy’s voice as he told the tale of Ebeneezer Scrooge’s ghostly visits. He felt oddly soothed by Malfoy’s calm tones, and eventually he drifted off to sleep.

When he was woken by Malfoy, an hour had passed and dinner was in fifteen minutes.

“I knew you’d fall asleep,” Malfoy said with a grin as Harry opened his eyes.

“I blame you and your reading,” Harry replied, stretching before he sat up again. “Your voice is very soothing when you’re reading like that.”

Malfoy laughed. “Thanks, I think. Better get ready for dinner, though.”

“Ah, I suppose you’re right,” Harry said with a sigh. “I’m glad there’s not many people here. This has been one of the nicest holidays I’ve had, I think.”

“Same here,” Malfoy replied softly. “And that includes all of the Christmases I had before even getting to Hogwarts. I’ve never had quite as much fun as I’ve had with you these last few days.”

Harry felt his cheeks turn red. “Really?”

Malfoy nodded. “It makes me wish we’d been friends since first-year instead of fighting like we did. And I know that a lot of that was my fault.”

Harry shook his head. “Don’t worry about that now. I think we were both very different people back in first-year and things wouldn’t necessarily have turned out like they have if we’d been friends in the beginning.”

“Maybe not, no,” Malfoy replied. “I suppose we’ll never know now, but it doesn’t really matter. I’d like to think we’ve become friends in the last few months.”

“I’d like to think so, too,” Harry said, nodding. “We are more alike than anyone knew.”

“Exactly. Come on then. Let’s get going for dinner,” Malfoy replied, patting Harry on the shoulder as he stood up.

Harry smiled and followed.

The next day, Harry woke before Malfoy to snow falling thickly outside. He watched for a few minutes, before shivering and getting back into bed. He didn’t want to get up and risk waking Malfoy while he was sleeping so soundly.

Instead, he picked up his wand and Summoned his Potions textbook to read over what they’d covered in their classes before the break started. As he began to read, he chuckled softly to himself. If Hermione could see him now, she wouldn’t believe her eyes.

He didn’t know how long he’d been reading, but he was halfway through reading the same page for the third time when Malfoy’s voice made him jump.

“Are you really doing homework?”

“Oh my… don’t scare me like that!” Harry exclaimed, turning to look at Malfoy. “I was just reading over what we did in our last classes. I didn’t want to wake you by clattering around getting ready.”

“How considerate,” Malfoy said, covering his mouth as he yawned. “I wouldn’t have minded, though.”

“What’s the point of me waking you up when it’s the holiday and you have the chance to sleep as long as you want?” Harry asked. “I’m annoyed that I woke up so early!”

Malfoy laughed. “You should have gone back to sleep then instead of doing homework.”

“I know. Oh well. I suppose we’ve missed breakfast now, too,” Harry replied with a frown. “Want to go and see what we can get from the house-elves?”

“Of course. I can’t wait until lunchtime,” Malfoy said, sitting up. “Maybe they’ll just give us a couple of croissants or something.”

“Are you getting dressed then, or should we just go like this?” Harry asked, glancing down at his own pyjama clad chest.

“Let’s just go like this,” Malfoy said. “I feel daring.”

Harry laughed. “Alright then. Let’s see if we can make it there and back without being seen.”

“Wait, do you think it’ll offend the house-elves?” Malfoy asked as he slid out of his bed. “Would they prefer us to be properly clothed?”

“I don’t think they’ll care, to be honest,” Harry replied. “We’ll be quick.”

“Come on then.”

They headed down to the kitchens as quickly as they could, only having to duck back around a corner a couple of times when one of the teachers was walking towards them. Feeling Malfoy press close to him as they hid, Harry was suddenly reminded of the times he and Ron would sneak around under his Invisibility Cloak. Finally they made it to the kitchens and came away with various croissants and pastries which they ran back up to their room with.

“This is good,” Harry said, taking a bite out of a chocolate filled croissant as he sat down on his bed.

“So is this,” Malfoy replied, holding up the apple turnover he was eating as he sat beside Harry on the bed.

“Glad it was worth going down there, then,” Harry said, taking another bite of his croissant. “Are you expecting many presents tomorrow?”

Malfoy shook his head, swallowing the bite he’d been chewing. “No, probably just something from my parents and Pansy. I’ve never exchanged gifts with anyone else, really.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Really? Not even the rest of your friends?”

Malfoy shook his head again. “Nope. I don’t know why, it just never became something that we did. With the exception of Pansy, but she’s my best friend. I feel like that makes a difference.”

Harry nodded. “I know what you mean. I do exchange small gifts with most of my friends but it’s always different with Ron and Hermione. I don’t know what will happen this year.”

“It feels different to other years, doesn’t it? Stranger, somehow,” Malfoy said thoughtfully, picking at his pastry.

“Yeah… I suppose that makes sense, though. Things are different,” Harry said with a frown.

“Do you wish you’d gone with them for the holiday?” Malfoy asked quietly, not looking up from his pastry which now had a small pile of crumbs gathering underneath it.

Harry shook his head. “No. Don’t get me wrong, I know I would have been welcome, but it felt like they should have a family Christmas this year.”

“Don’t you think you deserve that too?” Malfoy asked, looking up. “They’re the closest thing you’ve got to family, and I mean that with no malice.”

“I know, it’s okay,” Harry replied. “I know that’s true, but I’ve had seventeen years of not having my proper family around me. This is their first year without someone and it just didn’t feel right. I’m quite happy staying here. Company has been good.”

Malfoy gave him a half smile.

“You deserved a family Christmas too though. I’m sorry you didn’t get one,” Harry said.

Malfoy shook his head. “I made my peace with it months ago. If it had been possible to leave the country for the holiday, I think I would have gone home. But, as you know, I can’t. Nor can my parents. At least I’m allowed to come here, to school. They can’t even leave the house.”

Harry reached across, quite without thinking, and put his hand on Malfoy’s arm.

Malfoy looked up at him, then lifted his gaze further, to a point above their heads.

Harry looked up too, then blinked as he took his hand away again. “Is that… mistletoe?”

“I… think it might be,” Malfoy said softly, looking at Harry again.

“Why would that be here?” Harry asked with a frown. “Did you… can it be manifested?”

“I don’t know,” Malfoy said slowly. “I don’t think I manifested it. Did you?”

Harry shook his head. “No…. I don’t think I did. I’ve never thought of mistletoe. Not recently, anyway.”

“Why would anyone think of mistletoe?” Malfoy asked, frowning.

“Well, it is Christmas I suppose,” Harry said, laughing slightly. “Mistletoe comes with it.”

“Yeah, but why here? Why now? Why us?” Malfoy asked, gesturing between them.

“I… don’t know,” Harry said. “Maybe because we’ve been getting closer?”

“But as friends,” Malfoy replied. “Right?”

“Yeah…” Harry said, nodding. “I think.”

“What do you mean by that?” Malfoy exclaimed, looking at Harry with wide eyes.

“Well, I mean, what if this castle thinks it knows better? It probably knows us pretty well by now, don’t you think?” Harry replied.

“You… you think the castle is matchmaking?” Malfoy asked uncertainly.

“Maybe?”

“I don’t know what to think of that,” Malfoy said, shaking his head. “I’m a bit blindsided.”

“You and me both,” Harry replied. “But now we have a dilemma.”

“What kind of dilemma?”

“Isn’t it meant to be bad luck not to kiss under mistletoe?” Harry asked.

“Only if you’re superstitious,” Malfoy replied. “We don’t have to. I certainly wouldn’t take offence if you don’t want to.”

Harry glanced over at him. “I’ve never kissed a boy before. Not that I’ve kissed loads of people.”

Malfoy snorted. “I don’t think it matters how many people you’ve kissed, to kiss under mistletoe.”

“That’s not really what I meant,” Harry said with a laugh. “How do you feel about kissing a boy?”

“You know I’m gay, don’t you?” Malfoy asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’d heard rumours,” Harry replied. “But I didn’t know for sure.”

“It wasn’t a secret. But I didn’t go around shouting about it either,” Malfoy said with a shrug. “What about the rumours I heard about you?”

“What rumours were they?” Harry asked. “And who did you hear them from?”

“That you’re bi and that’s the reason you split up with the Weasley girl,” Malfoy said.

“I told you the reason Ginny and I split up,” Harry replied. “And it wasn’t because I’m bi. Although I think I am bi. I’ve never done anything with a boy but I’ve had… thoughts. Who did you hear that from?”

“I’d rather not reveal my sources. I promise that it’s no-one currently at school with us,” Malfoy said, though Harry thought he probably wasn’t quite telling the truth.

“Mm, well…” Harry said. “Let me ask you another question. Do you want to kiss under the mistletoe?”

“I think we… could,” Malfoy said. “It could be… eye-opening.”

Harry snorted. “Alright, then,” he said, shifting closer to Malfoy. Then, they leaned in at the same time and pressed their lips together. Harry didn’t think he’d ever had such a surprising kiss. It was worlds apart from his first kiss with Cho, and even his first kiss with Ginny, he thought. It almost made him wonder why he hadn’t been kissing boys the whole time.

As they parted, Harry noticed the flush in Malfoy’s cheeks. “That was nice.”

Malfoy nodded. “It was. And now we don’t have to worry about bad luck either.”

Harry laughed. “Exactly. You never know, maybe it’ll bring us good luck.”

“Maybe,” Malfoy said with another nod. “Do you mean in the kissing department or the school one?”

“Ideally both,” Harry replied with a grin. “But I’ll take either.”

Malfoy snorted with laughter. “Either is fine by me, too. Do you think it’ll be awkward between us now?”

“I hope not. I’d hate to have to find a new roommate now,” Harry said with a grin.

Malfoy shook his head. “Come on. I think we should probably get dressed now. It’s nearly time for lunch.”

Harry stretched his arms above his head and nodded. “I suppose you’re right.”

They both moved to their wardrobes and pulled out some clothes for the day, before separating to get dressed, each lost in their own thoughts.

That night, as they lay in bed, Harry turned his head to Malfoy. “That kiss this morning…”

“Yeah?”

“I think I might want to do it again sometime,” Harry said softly. “If you do.”

“I think I might too,” Malfoy replied. “I wasn’t sure before. But I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

“Same here,” Harry said. “I think I might have come to a realisation today.”

“That maybe we’ve become more than roommates?” Malfoy asked, turning onto his side to look at Harry properly. “Because that’s what I’ve been feeling.”

“Yeah. At least we might be on our way to being more than roommates,” Harry replied, rolling over too. “We’ve got to know each other so much better over these last few months and it probably shouldn’t be as much of a surprise to me as it was.”

“I think we’ve probably both been in denial or something,” Malfoy said. “I’ve definitely had inappropriate thoughts at times. I just didn’t know how to bring them up with you. I didn’t want to ruin the friendship that was just building.”

“Alright, so I think we probably need to have a proper talk later, when we’re both fully awake,” Harry replied, stifling a yawn. “Because you’re not the only one. So. I say we go to sleep now and then we can wake up in the morning, open presents and join the others for Christmas lunch. Then afterwards, we can talk properly.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Malfoy said. “Good night, Potter.”

“Good night, Malfoy,” Harry replied with a smile. He was sure that whatever happened between them from this point, they’d probably always call each other by their surname.