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Alexei had always been an outcast.
His upbringing lacked the warmth of a supportive family, leaving him without the guidance to develop essential social skills. From an early age, he was isolated, not so different now that he's 18. He wasn't much liked by his peers, and the school's popular crowd took pleasure in making his life a constant struggle.
Despite his seemingly slender and weak appearance, he possessed some strength. Attempts at bullying were swiftly met with a physical shutdown. His parents had been called to school many times over this behaviour of his but honestly, they didn't care enough about Alexei to even check in. Dinner tables at 7 PM were just Alexei and his plate of food. Family nights turned into disaster with constant arguing about their economical properties. Alexei had grown accustomed to solitude from the very beginning; it was the only reality he had ever known.
If there was one thing that kept him at comfort through these moments it was probably his (somewhat) good coding capability and catgirls. He didn't care much for classes: he never wanted to be an office worker slaving away hours in front of a computer just to be paid barely a living wage. He prefered this lifestyle of being shut-in: Nights unfolded in a sanctuary of catgirl games, unauthorized digital exploits, and moments that brought a rare smile to his face—a small taste of greatness for him.
Or that's what he believed it to be.
That infuriatingly attractive blond-haired popular figure—God, how Alexei envied him. The man was fucking beautiful, but Alexei wasn't gay, was he? After all, being labeled 'gay' would only invite more ridicule.But he had to admit, if he had known greatness before, no he hadn't. Kiat had come from a private school after losing a family fortune, a father going to jail, yet he still kept this glorious image to him that drew everyone including Alexei into it. In class, Alexei often caught him staring, initially assuming it was to find some flaw to exploit. After all, populars were notorious for preying on anyone who held their gaze a second too long . Determined to avoid unnecessary attention, he evaded Kiat's gaze. Yet, the man's look felt more like that of a cat pleading for treats, a gaze Alexei loathed.
Though, nobody could resist a good charm.
"You're... Alexei, right?" Kiat leaned in towards Alexei's desk, assessing him from head to toe. His gaze lingered on the notebook, but before he could catch a glimpse of anything, Alexei promptly snapped it shut.
"Lean back a bit, personal space." Alexei grumbled, voice muffled through the mask he never took off.
"I guess that answers me." Kiat gave Alexei a small approving hum, then leaned back, placing a piece of paper on the desk. Alexei thought this was the casual 'do my homework for me, loser' move.
"Nobody else to partner with for the project. And I've heard rumors of you being one of the best at coding. Thought we might work out." Great. Group projects. 10 times worse. Alexei wished Kiat had told him to do his homework instead. 'Fucking end me' was his internal thought.
"I'm going solo. Not doing a group project." Alexei brushed him off, handing the paper back to Kiat, only to be abruptly halted.
"Well, you don't really have a choice. I already asked Mr. Ross about it. You're assigned to me." As if he were a fucking dog! Alexei looked at Kiat with a very obvious dislike for what he had just said, but Kiat just had that stupid grin on his face. Privilege of money, or being pretty? Alexei assumed money, though his looks- No, he wasn't fucking gay.
"Do you see an ounce of me giving a fuck?" The bell had already rung, and Alexei had no intention of spending an extra second in this sugar-coated prison. He collided shoulders with Kiat and quickly exited the classroom.
"I mean, if you want to fail that's not my concern!" Kiat yelled out after Alexei, only to be met by a middle finger thrown at him as Alexei walked off *quite sassily.*
God fucking damnit. How can someone be this much of a fucking loner?
"Does this guy even know the touch of a woman, oh my god?!" Kiat groaned, burying his face between his hands. Behind him, Kelvin let out a low giggle, offering a consoling pat on the back.
"I mean, to be honest... I don't see what you see in him, really."
"That's not really fucking comforting, considering you're an idiot and I'm not, Kelvin." Kiat crossed his arms, shaking his head as he gazed down the hallway, catching a fleeting glimpse of Alexei before he blended into the crowd.
"Let's get out before we get caught and forced to clean after hours. I'm sure you can hit on that... loser later on." Kelvin rose to his feet, Kiat slowly following with a lingering sense of disappointment .
"He isn't that much of a loser."
"Whatever you say..."
Kiat couldn't take his eyes off of Alexei.
Was he really so lost? Falling for the proudly declared outcast, a self-proclaimed weirdo? He had girls swarming him, he was loved, so why did he want Alexei? He could've hit on a random girl and would've been in their bed by now if he gave even the ounce of effort he gave to Alexei to them.
He learned the man's behaviour, classes and some of his little secrets overtime. Like, having a huge catgirl cutout in the middle of your notebook was weird for Kiat, yet he appreciated the shameless audacity with which Alexei embraced it. Never had he encountered someone who cared so little about societal norms. Well, perhaps Alexei did care, but Kiat couldn't be sure. Any effort to talk with Alexei was in vain, and god did he hate it.
"Checking that guy out again, Kiat?" Sanjana dropped down beside Kiat, firmly pulling Kelvin along by his ear. If Kiat hadn't known them well enough he'd assume Sanjana was Kelvin's mother. Kelvin let out a few dissatisfied grunts, sitting down as he glared at Sanjana. The two went on about some silly fight of theirs while Kiat chewed on his food, watching Alexei as sneakily as he can.
The man was buried into his laptop, in the library. He didn't know if he should thank the school management for leaving the library door open all the time. It felt somewhat odd, surreptitiously observing him from a distance, but then again, maybe that's what love did to you. Kelvin himself had abandoned his petty quarrel with Sanjana, opting to strike up a conversation with the medical student with black hair in the library—something Kiat couldn't help but envy.
Maybe he should've done the same, now that he thinks about it. Now he's lying in bed, pondering what the hell to do about this crush of his. A hand ran through his hair with a sigh.
Prom, it was soon. In 2 months. Soon enough for Kiat. He had to find a partner but despite how embarrassing it would be to have a male as a partner, he still didn't want anyone other than Alexei. Kelvin was shameless enough and had gotten Arlo to be his partner, so maybe he could be just as shameless. But then, knowing Alexei, that man would kill himself rather than become his partner for prom. Or a partner in general.
He needed a plan. Maybe bribery? No, he had tried bribery.
''Am I a fucking stripper?" Was Alexei's reaction. He knew the man liked weird stuff, then again he was the declared outcast for a reason. He couldn't possibly bribe him off with that...
Or maybe he could. Kiat was confident they had a small bond between them, maybe something platonic. Maybe it could be the tie breaker, maybe it could help him learn what made Alexei tick.
God, he hated being in love. He wished this stayed as just a small crush. He thought it would pass and really, he was the dumbass for believing that.
What was this guy's deal?
The man would. not. stop. staring. Alexei would turn a corner and see a milisecond of Kiat staring at him. He'd try to hide himself away in the library to work on codes and there'd be Kiat, 'reading' a book. He'd try to do anything during class and Kiat had all eyes on him. It made him feel weird, and it put him off.
Was this guy looking to pick a fucking fight? Was he trying to track Alexei? What was his intent?
Well, Alexei was dead set on finding out. It was simple to find Kiat tucked away in some corner during lunch break. The other 2 from his group were too busy doing other stuff, so it proved to be the perfect time to confront him.
"What's your problem?" Alexei firmly whispered, arms crossed, as he glared down at Kiat. The man appeared momentarily startled, his mouth opening, but no words spilled out. Alexei's gaze intensified as Kiat stood in silence. In all honesty, the man did look good from this angle. He had captivating eyes. What the hell was he thinking about? Focus, Alexei.
''I don't understand?'' Kiat mumbled, shoving another dumpling into his mouth as he gave a curious look to Alexei. If Alexei were an idiot, that would've worked. Alexei was an idiot.
"You stare at me every damn second. I catch you in every corner I turn, even after switching seats a thousand times to avoid you, you somehow manage to bring me back to my original seat. What's your issue? What the hell do you want?" Alexei pressed a finger against Kiat's chest, closing the distance between their faces.
And Kiat did seem to go quieter. And quieter. And his face redder. What the fuck?
''Stare at me once more and I'll gouge your eyes out.'' With that threat hanging in the air, Alexei quickly walked away. Why the hell did Kiat blush? No, he couldn't have. But yes, he definitely did. As Alexei pondered his own actions, Kiat remained there, dumpling in his mouth, heart racing at probably a million beats per second.
God! Alexei so close to his face, a physical touch! Despite the threatening tone, it was more than enough to reinforce what Kiat's problem was: he was hopelessly in love.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," Kelvin murmured, his hand casually draped over Arlo's shoulder as the two took a seat next to Kiat. Kiat took a moment to rein in his excitement, releasing a breath he didn't realize he was holding before glancing in the direction Alexei had disappeared.
''That's stupid...'' Kiat chuckled, shaking his head. He was sure he would never get that image out of his head.
Kiat had completely forgotten to finish that project of his.
His singular focus had been ensuring that he could collaborate with Alexei. Now, just a few hours away from the deadline, the reality hit him hard. Alexei was being his casual self, not willing to do anything with anyone. Kiat often questioned why he bothered pursuing Alexei, half-expecting the man to vanish into thin air the moment he engaged in social interaction with anyone.
Realizing he couldn't tackle the project alone, he reluctantly admitted he needed assistance, preferably from someone competent. Among his peers, the only viable option left was Alexei, once again. However, Kiat had exhausted every approach to persuade Alexei to collaborate before, leaving him with little hope that Alexei would willingly offer any assistance. Still, he reasoned, it wouldn't hurt to give it one more try, would it?
K: alexeiii :p plzzz respond i rlyyy need ur help
5 minutes. No reply.
K: alexeii come on dudee!!!! i rlyy rly need ur help this is an emergencyyy
A: God, how did you even get my number?!
Kiat chuckled internally.
K: thats not the issue rn!!! i need help w the project :(
A: There's literally only 5 hours left until the deadline, are you insane? I can't help you.
K: dude cmonn, just meet me at the library i cant do it alone 🙁
A: God, you're annoying. Get your shit, I'll be there in 30.
K: ur the best :3 !!
A: Kiat stop fucking stalling before I kill you.
Oh wow.
Kiat didn't assume all it took for a date with the Alexei was just a deadline. He stared at the messages in disbelief for a few minutes. The deadline was 1 AM, it was 8 PM. Could they realistically finish the task in time? Would he manage to concentrate with Alexei in such close proximity? What if Alexei was just being an asshole and wanted to humiliate him by making him go to the library and work there alone like a loser? God! The uncertainty.
Regardless, Kiat had hope that Alexei had that bit of kindness in him. After all, who in their right mind would turn down someone like Kiat? It might have been a tad egotistical, but he considered himself practically irresistible. True, his previous attempts to charm Alexei had faltered, but optimism prevailed. He loaded his laptop and some more stuff into the bag, quickly throwing his jacket on before making a run for the public library.
''Why did it take you an entire hour to get here..?'' Alexei whisper-shouted, shooting a disapproving glare at Kiat. Feet rested comfortably on the table, a manga nestled between his slightly bruised fingers . Kiat wondered how it got bruised each time, but it would be insensitive to ask.
"Sorry, sorry... I tried catching the bus, but they just passed me by! I had to run in the rain, you know!" Kiat sighed, ruffling his hair in an attempt to shake off some water. Alexei gave a brief glance before rising from his seat, swiftly removing his hoodie and handing it over. Kiat stared at it momentarily, unsure of the gesture.
''I have a shirt on, don't worry. I'm not flashing the entire library. Just wear it, put the rest aside to dry. Quick, we only have like... 3 and a half hours to get this shit done.'' Alexei shoved the hoodie between Kiat's fingers, snatching Kiat's bag and putting the contents on the desk. Kiat's laptop, notebook, and some pencils. And some snacks. Why snacks? Alexei gazed at them for a few seconds as Kiat moved into one of the restrooms to change out of his wet shirt.
Why did Alexei agree to this? He had no clue. Perhaps he entertained thoughts of prying into secrets or mocking Kiat later, but deep down, he acknowledged he wasn't that cruel. At least, not when it came to Kiat.
There wasn't much said after Kiat came back. They took their seats, Alexei on one chair, Kiat on the other, laptops balanced on their laps. Kiat writing code, Alexei fixing it in silence. Shared glances punctuated the focused silence, and each time Alexei leaned in to check out the code, Kiat felt his heart skip a beat.
An hour passed, and another. The project was a lengthy one for sure and Kiat wasn't sure if they'd get it done any time soon. It was already midnight and the library was completely empty except for them. He was somewhat thankful the library was open 24/7.
1 hour. Kiat had to gather his focus - despite how hard it was with Alexei's presence. Every word Alexei uttered sent shivers down Kiat's spine. Even a simple "that sounds good" accompanied by a subtle smile became a personal euphoria for Kiat. Had he really stooped this low? He shrugged the thoughts off and got back on his work. After all, what excuse could he offer for not completing it? ''I tried to do my project with the weird guy for weeks because I'm gay and forgot about it in the process''?
''Hey, Alexei. There's a bug here, help me out.''
Silence.
''Alexei, heyy, headphones off.''
Silence.
Kiat sighed and raised a brow, only to be completely caught off-guard: Alexei, asleep. Asleep. Right here, in front of him.
Damn it, what was he supposed to do in this situation? He couldn't just wake him up. Actually, he kind of preferred the sight before him. It was the first time he had seen Alexei look somewhat... comfortable? Was that the right word? No, probably not. But then again, the man was literally asleep! Kiat gently attempted to shake Alexei awake, but to no avail. He was genuinely asleep.
For a few minutes, Kiat pondered his options, stunned into silence, his gaze fixed on the unexpectedly peaceful image of Alexei. It was a side of him Kiat never thought he'd see.
Well, there was only one thing he could do.
Alexei released a heavy sigh, fluttering his eyes open with a momentary disorientation. It took him a few minutes to grasp his surroundings. A finger traced over his face, specifically lingering on the scars. He was somewhere comfortable for sure. Letting out a quiet huff, he shifted in his spot before closing his eyes once more. A hand rose to his tangled hair, gently combing through the strands. It reminded him of how his mother once behaved. Was he dreaming?
Something was pulled on top of him. It provided warmth for sure. He shuffled around for a few seconds, leaning against the hand with a hum of approval. There were lights on- right above him, somewhere, he could tell even though his eyes were closed. He took whatever cloth was placed on top of him and brought it over his eyes, staying like that for a few more minutes. The hand never went away.
Then realization hit him. He was awake - not fucking dreaming. He was meant to be doing a project with Kiat, not sleeping.
"...Get your hand off my face." Alexei whispered firmly, gripping Kiat's wrist and shooting him a disapproving glare. His face grew redder and redder: how did he fall asleep right here, in a library?
''You are the one that's enjoying it. Just look at you, all cozied up." Kiat chuckled, shifting his attention from his laptop to Alexei. He gently patted Alexei's cheek while the man stood there wide-eyed and red. It looked cute, really cute to Kiat.
''Fuck off!'' Alexei groaned, pushing Kiat's hand off. He quickly sat up and raised his mask up. Kiat had seen his scars. Would he question? Would he spread it to everyone? Probably. Why else would Kiat bring him here at this hour? It was a trap, of course. He gazed at Kiat, giving him a full-over.
''It's...'' Alexei leaned over to take a look at the time on Kiat's laptop. ''...1:05. You didn't finish it. I have to go home. See you.'' Alexei stood up, putting his belongings to his bag. He was certain he forgot something, but the details escaped him, and, frankly, he didn't care enough to remember.
Kiat responded with a nod of approval, a subtle acknowledgment for Alexei's presence. A quiet "thank you for coming" escaped his lips, and in that moment, Alexei departed. God, how could he have been so stupid? He wouldn't be too surprised if gossip about him was spread to the entire school tomorrow.
Yet, oddly enough, there was a sense of gratification. The touch from Kiat was unlike any other, a gentle caress that left Alexei feeling a warmth he hadn't known - to have his head on Kiat's lap, with that stupid motherfucker grinning down at him. Kiat and his beautiful self - what a fucking dangerous thing to do, to give someone so dangerous such looks.
As a typically exemplary student, Kiat had never found himself in detention before. However, today marked an exception.
He knew he would never get that project done with Alexei near him. The second Alexei fell asleep next to him, he dropped every single thing he had known including his own self-respect, just to have a small moment with Alexei. Well, it didn't go so well for him, considering Alexei was completely ignoring him. It made him feel kind of bad, but then again what happened, happened.
With a sigh, Kiat settled into his seat in the nearly empty classroom. Only three others lingered—a slumbering figure at the back, and two students engaged in a conversation about dining out. While he recognized the duo, the person at the back was unfamiliar. Not his concern, he decided, pulling out his notebook and idly sketching cats and random thoughts.
The departure of the other two students left Kiat alone with the mysterious figure at the back. If he was condemned to spend another hour in detention, he might as well inject some amusement into the situation. He turned around in his seat, inspecting the attire of the sleeping figure. They were a club leader for sure, he could tell that by the black armband.
The realization dawned on Kiat—the emblem on the armband belonged to the Computer Science Club, and Alexei was its leader. Despite his notorious reputation for detention-worthy scuffles, Kiat hadn't heard of any recent fights involving Alexei. There had to be another reason. But what could it have been? Should he even go and talk to Alexei, after what happened between them?
He just did what he thought was the most reasonable and friendly thing to do. Kiat smoothly slipped off his jacket and quietly moved towards Alexei's seat. He gently draped the jacket over Alexei's shoulders, a gesture to keep Alexei warm. But then what came after came after, and he found himself seated next to Alexei, his head laid on the desk, fingers gently threading through Alexei's hair.
Initially startled, Alexei lifted his head abruptly, gripping Kiat's wrist tightly. After a moment, a subtle relaxation overcame him, prompting him to release Kiat's hand and bury his head once more between his arms on the desk. "What do you want, Kiat?"
''You mad at me?''
''Why would I be mad at you?''
''You're right. You're just mad at everything.''
''Is that my hoodie?'' Alexei poked at the hoodie on Kiat, causing the man to immediately go red. Though the masked expression on Alexei's face made it challenging to discern his emotions, there was a hint of amusement in his demeanor. He wished he could just tear it off his face and- Noo, not now...
Alexei's hand rested on the fabric of Kiat's—well, practically his—hoodie, tugging at the drawstring. A surprised yelp escaped Kiat as his vision was momentarily obstructed, accompanied by a subtle chuckle. He didn't think he'd be doing anything like this with Alexei, but then again the guy was full of surprises. Attempting to alleviate the pressure on the strings, Kiat tried to encircle his hand around Alexei's, but the latter seemed determined to keep things as they were.
''Okay, yes, whatever, it's yours. I liked it.''
''Well, I want it back now.''
''I don't have anything else under.''
''Then you'll give it back to me later. Wash it too.''
''Lazy bitch.'' Kiat rolled his eyes, and Alexei responded with a light chuckle, their shoulders colliding in a casual yet heart-quickening manner.How did such simple stuff make his heart go so fast? Was Kiat this hopelessly in love? He turned to face Alexei, locking eyes with him. They sat in an awkward silence for a while just staring at one another. The prolonged eye contact felt both intoxicating and longing, as if Kiat could happily lose himself in Alexei's eyes for hours on end and still yearn for more.
''...You can keep the hoodie, by the way. I have thousands of the same one.''
''Really? Wow, do you even wear anything else?''
''I can't even be kind to you, can I?''
Laughter echoed between them, a shared moment of lightness. Alexei couldn't deny that Kiat looked simply beautiful when he laughed or smiled. The thought crossed his mind: what wouldn't he do to keep that captivating smile? The way Kiat's brows furrowed and his gummy smile radiated, even reaching his eyes—Alexei understood why others found themselves drawn to Kiat's charm. Who could resist such a guy? Not him.
Kiat slowly inched his hand closer to Alexei's, his heartbeat faster and faster, and he swore his heart would've jumped out of his chest the moment Alexei's hand touched his. Calloused, bruised hands against his somewhat perfect ones. It wasn't the best but he wouldn't have it any other way. They sat in silence, awkwardly 'holding' hands as they stared at one another.
Kiat couldn't gauge how many minutes had passed, and it appeared Alexei was equally disoriented. Perhaps an hour had slipped away, because when Kiat met Alexei's gaze again, the world around them dissolved. One moment, they were locked in a gaze; the next, Alexei lowered his mask and leaned in, foreheads touching.
Caught off guard, Kiat's breath hitched as their lips met for a few seconds. Then, just as quickly, Alexei pulled away. The mask ascended, and Alexei retreated from Kiat, ruffling his hair before leaving the classroom.
Staring at where Alexei had been seated, it took Kiat a few minutes to process the reality of what just happened. They kissed—Alexei and him. Pinching his own skin to confirm it wasn't a dream, Kiat muttered a soft realization to himself.
''Hey, wait up!'' Kiat picked up his belongings, chasing after Alexei.