Chapter Text
—— 9:00 am: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE
Ralph: petition to put Jack down
Piggy: What?
Bill: what did he do😭
Jack: conch kisser
Ralph: ginger
Robert: 😃
Ralph: red haired savage
Jack: 👹👹👹
Maurice: what happened
Ralph: I go to jacks room and he starts beating me with a pillow and telling me to get out😒
Piggy: Why are you at Jack's house?
Ralph: my brother is babysitting me cause my parents think ima get kidnapped or smth and he took me to jacks house
Maurice: why???
Ralph: sadly me older brother is dating his sister😔
Jack: 😒
Simon: you have older siblings?
Ralph: yeah I have an older brother Cameron and Jack has a sister called Ocean
Roger: lol I have an older brother but he’s on a date rn
Simon: my sister is on a date too
Piggy: Perhaps they are dating each other.
Bill: that would make sense
Ralph: btw its almost Christmas🥳
Sam: not Christmas😃
Eric: it’s November😃
Ralph: Mariah Carey has unfrosted
Sam: thanksgiving first
Jack: we’re not American???
Ralph: fine, we’re going back in time to the first thanksgiving to take turkeys off the menu
Eric: changed my mind no holidays none
Ralph: not even valentines?😭
Eric: none
Maurice: they didn’t even have turkey on thanksgiving or Christmas
Ralph: shut up Maurice
Eric: im chief now and I say no holidays
Ralph: no I am🐚
Eric: Nuh uh
Ralph: yuh huh
Eric: I have two 🐚🐚
Ralph: 🐚🐚🐚
Piggy: Stop.
Simon: The conch is gone .-.
Piggy: Yeah because Jack almost murdered me.
Jack: THAT WAS ROGER
Roger: I was conditioned by society
Sam: What does that mean???
Robert: the heck did I miss
Wilfred: fr😭
Simon: why are we even talking about the island?
Jack: pigs
Ralph: speaking of the island my parents are transferring me from Upton to Godstone😭
Maurice: oh really? You can join our rugby team
Simon: not that I’m not happy your coming to our school, but why are you?
Ralph: my mom was like you should stay with the boys from the island so you aren’t traumatized or smth💀
Simon: That’s interesting.
Jack: alright Cambourne🤨
Simon: Stop it Merridew.
Bill: So are you joining the rugby team Ralph?
Ralph: I’ll join that or band
Jack: band?
Piggy: He plays the flute
Sam: you guys wanna play among us
Robert: the chat is going to be the end of me😭
Piggy: Hold on, I’ll ask my auntie if I can transfer too.
Ralph: sucks to your auntie :)
Piggy: What, that doesn’t even have to do with this situation?
Ralph: It’s a joke😭
Jack: Ralph tell your brother to leave
Ralph: why
Jack: so I don’t have to see you lol
Ralph: 😒
Bill: 😨
Ralph: so uh our siblings are gone
Roger: they left you idiots alone together
Jack: dang it
Simon: Are you both in the same room?
Ralph: no he’s in his room and I’m in the kitchen stealing their food
Jack: you little rat
Sam: what is Jack doing in his room?
Eric: probably combing his hair or smth
Jack: none of your business
Piggy: That’s suspicious?
Jack: shut up
Simon: This seems like the island…
Roger: except I can’t throw rocks at anyone
Maurice: you shouldnt throw rocks regardless
Ralph: can we please stop talking about the island
Bill: why
Ralph: cause we were there like months and almost died???
Piggy: Because of Jack’s Tribe.
Mulberry: I almost burned alive.
Simon: I was stabbed by a spear.
Piggy: Can’t forget about the boulder.
Roger: I’m being targeted
Sam: You should be
Eric: mhm
Simon: also did anyone else see the lord of the flies or just me
Jack: what
Wilfred: you’re batty💀
Simon: I’m not.
Ralph: yeah, he isn’t
Jack: 🤨🤨🤨
Wilfred: are we doing secret Santa?
Sam: it’s not Christmas
Eric: yeah
Ralph: let’s do it
Percival: can we trade though
Maurice: no
Percival: why
Maurice: unless you wanna beating
Percival: what if I get piggy🥲
Piggy: Wow.
Maurice: deal with it
Jack: Roger come over
Roger: why
Jack: cause Ralph’s here
Roger: On My Way!
*omw
Sam: 😭
Ralph: bruh
Simon: Ralph is just going to be alone.
Ralph: can you come over then Simon?
Simon: really?
Ralph: yeah :)
Jack: might as well invite everyone over😒
Eric: party🥳
Sam: 🤯
Jack: fine everybody come over
Piggy: Even me?
Jack: 😒
Ralph: Jack.
Jack: fineeeee
Piggy: Yay!
Jack: see you guys later
Bill: 👌