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When Atsushi woke up, he was still half asleep and had no idea where he was. It didn’t feel like the closet he usually slept in, he was far too sprawled out for that. The bed was also far more comfortable than the one in his closet. Sitting up slowly, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and realized where he was.
Mainly because the owner of the apartment was currently standing in the threshold to the bedroom, hair mildly disheveled and surprised, staring at him.
“Good morning, weretiger.” Ryuunosuke said quietly, slightly amused. “Sleep well?”
He was at Ryuunosuke’s apartment so he could surprise the other man with dinner together, as they hadn’t been able to even really see each other recently. Between an uptick in cases in the detective agency and more missions on Ryuunosuke’s part, they hadn’t seen each other in the past week. Atsushi waited several hours but Ryuunosuke didn’t turn up, so he eventually fell asleep while waiting.
“It’s not morning,” He mumbled, before yawning. “What time’s it?”
“Around two in the morning,” Ryuunosuke answered. “I just got off work.” He walked forward, and promptly collapsed on the bed. Still in his clothes from the day. Atsushi smiled, rubbing his back.
“Not gonna get changed before going to sleep?”
“You’re currently in my room. The place where I would change clothes.” He muttered into the mattress. Atsushi laughed softly at the response.
“Long day, huh?”
Ryuunosuke just responded with a hum. Atsushi smiled at him, before freezing. His hand felt wet. Lifting his hand and looking at it, his eyes widened in concern.
“Ryuu, are you hurt?”
He let out a sigh, muffled by the bed. “I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.”
“Were you planning on just sleeping on this?” Atsushi asked him. He switched hands, rubbing circles on his back just above the injured area.
“The sheets have suffered worse before.”
“It could worsen if you don’t treat it.”
“I would’ve been fine.”
“Sit up, I’m helping you patch this up. Where’s your first aid kit?” Atsushi asked, standing and walking to the door, flipping the light switch. He winced at the sudden brightness, blinking a few times to adjust to it.
“Under the sink, in the bathroom.” Ryuunosuke groaned, pushing himself up slowly. Atsushi stepped into the nearby bathroom, washing the blood off his hands before digging around under the sink for the first aid kit. After finally finding it, he pulled it out and headed back to the bedroom.
Ryuunosuke was sitting up, legs off the side of the bed as he stared at Atsushi. The exhaustion was apparent in his form, and it made Atsushi feel a little bad for keeping him up. Still, making sure the wound wasn’t actively bleeding out on the bed was the priority, before sleep.
“You look cute in that,” Ryuunosuke said offhandedly. Atsushi flushed, pouting. He was wearing a baggy t-shirt and shorts that he grabbed for cheap earlier that day, just as something to wear when sleeping at Ryuunosuke’s house.
“You’re not getting out of treatment by complimenting me,” He responded, sitting on the bed next to Ryuunosuke. “But thank you. I got them so that I wouldn’t sleep in my work clothes, like some heathen.”
“I take offense to that.” Ryuunosuke deadpanned, side eyeing him. Atsushi smiled at him, before kissing him on the cheek and moving behind him.
He also pretended to not notice Ryuunosuke’s blush, out of courtesy. He was already bleeding.
“Alright, can you take off your top?” He asked, kneeling on the bed behind him.
Ryuunosuke stiffened for a moment. “You can’t work around my clothes?”
“Ryuu, you’re wearing an overcoat. I can’t work around that.”
“Can you at least try to?” He asked, and the tone of voice almost made Atsushi want to. It made him want to give Ryuunosuke whatever he wanted.
Sliding forward, he hugged Ryuunosuke from behind. Wrapping his legs around the others waist and arms around his chest, he made sure not to press on the injury as he rested his chin on Ryuunosuke’s shoulder. “Is it because of the coat?”
“...partially.” He replied, leaning back into Atsushi’s hold instinctively. “It’s also… there’s a lot of scars.”
Atsushi let out a hum, closing his eyes. He understood that issue intimately, but also wanted to let Ryuunosuke know that he wouldn’t judge him based on his scars, that he was loved. “I won’t look if you don’t want me to.”
“There’s too many for you to just not look at them.” He responded after a moment, quiet.
“Are there any in particular I shouldn’t look at?” Atsushi asked.
“One across my right shoulder, two on my lower neck, and…” He went silent for a moment, as if mentally cataloging his scars. “Anything on my front, specifically my chest.”
“Alright,” Atsushi murmured.
“As much as I enjoy this,” Ryuunosuke said after a moment, “I can’t take my clothes off if you’re hanging off me.”
“Please work on your phrasing,” Atsushi muttered, beet red, as he pushed himself off of Ryuunosuke’s back. “Do you want help taking your jacket off?”
“...that would be nice, actually,” He said after a moment of struggling. Atsushi grabbed the coat and helped him work it off, setting it down next to him in a pile on the bed. “Do you mind helping me with my shirt as well? Normally I can undo it myself, but…” He trailed off, letting the sentence hang in the air.
Atsushi stared at his shirt, the back laced up like a corset. There was a spot, just above his hips on his left side, that had blood soaked through. Atsushi barely registered that though, entranced by the visibly groove of Ryuunosuke’s spine with a long scar running alongside it.
“Weretiger,” He said, startling Atsushi out of his mind. “As much as I enjoy bleeding, I’d rather you patch me up.”
“You weren’t saying that five minutes ago,” Atsushi mumbled, hands absentmindedly working their way down the laces across his back.
“Five minutes ago I had the fleeting dream of being able to sleep my problems away,” Ryuunosuke responded. “You’ve already gotten me back up.”
“Sorry that I don’t want you to bleed out in your sleep,” Atsushi said, finishing untying his shirt and leaning forward to take it off Ryuunosuke’s front.
“I wouldn’t have bled out, it’s a small cut,” He argued, the pout evident in his voice. Even if he denied it forever, he pouted. Often. It was adorable and Atsushi would never let him live it down.
“That is not a small cut,” Atsushi argued back, inspecting the cut. It was shallow, not deep enough to need stitches, but it still was bleeding a lot. The reason it was bleeding so much is because of the length more than anything. It stretched from just above his hips to just below his ribs. He reached for some medicinal alcohol to clean the wound, before Ryuunosuke grabbed his wrist.
“Don’t clean it with alcohol, it's bad for the skin. Just use clean water.” He interrupted. Atsushi nodded, despite Ryuunosuke not being able to see him, and stood up.
“I’m assuming you don’t want to get in a bath right now to clean that wound?” He asked, heading towards the bathroom.
“No, just wet a towel and dab at the wound until it’s clean,” Ryuunosuke called from the bedroom. Atsushi grabbed a small towel, ran it under the tap, and started to head back to the bedroom. Right before he stepped back in, he froze. Ryuunosuke was pretty much facing the doorway, and he clearly had scars on his chest that he didn’t want anyone seeing for whatever reason.
“Can I come in?” Atsushi called into the bedroom from around the door.
“You’ll have to eventually,” Ryuunosuke called back, sounding slightly upset. That might’ve been from having a giant cut on his back, though.
“Do you want me to walk backwards?” Atsushi offered.
“As funny as it would be to see you trip, we don’t need two injured people.” Ryuunosuke responded. Atsushi rolled his eyes, taking that as the just come in already that it was.
He gave a small smile to him as he stepped in, not batting an eye at Ryuunosuke holding up his coat to cover his chest. Crawling back on the bed, he sat back down behind him and began cleaning the wound.
“I’m surprised you’re this good at cleaning wounds, given your healing ability.” Ryuunosuke commented idly after a moment.
“The healing part didn’t really kick in until I was older,” Atsushi commented. Ryuunosuke apparently made the connection on his own, stiffening slightly.
“Sorry for bringing it up.” He said awkwardly.
“It’s not your fault,” Atsushi responded, placing the wet towel to the side and grabbing a dry towel. As he looked back at Ryuunosuke's back, the long scar by his lower spine caught his attention again. As he placed the dry towel on the wound and began to dry it, he kept staring at it. “Can I ask you something?”
“Go ahead.”
“Where did you… where did you get this scar?” He asked, lightly caressing it with his thumb.
“The one by my spine?” He asked. Atsushi gave a noise of confirmation. “When I was a kid, I stole someone’s bread and he pulled a knife on me. He was able to get me with that.”
“What about this one?” He asked, carefully touching a small, circular scar just below his ribs.
“I think that one was… a few years after I joined the mafia, a few days before Dazai-san left. I was shot by the leader of an organization running a massive suicide operation. There was a lower rank man there, he saved me.” Ryuunosuke described.
Atsushi was silent for a moment, the feeling that the incident was bigger than he was letting on, before dropping it. He leaned down and kissed it, eliciting a minute intake of breath from Ryuunosuke. He would’ve missed it if he wasn’t so close. Placing the dry towel down, he picked up the wet towel to clean the wound a little more.
“What about this one,” Atsushi asked again, his free hand caressing Ryuunosuke’s shoulder. There was a small, thin line from his shoulder down a few inches.
“Someone stabbed me. It was the first fight I got in that I won.” He answered. Atsushi got the message underneath the surface.
“Did you…” He trailed off, leaving the question to hang in the air.
“He was drunk and wouldn’t have left me alone unless he was passed out or dead.” Ryuunosuke answered sharply. “It was either that or die in an alleyway.”
“I don’t blame you,” Atsushi responded, eyes slipping closed for a moment. He swapped the wet towel out for the dry one, dabbing up any moisture left on the skin. “It was in self defense.”
Lightly, he kissed the scar for just a moment. He could feel Ryuunosuke shudder from the contact. He placed the towels down on the side, and began wrapping bandages around Ryuunosuke’s waist. Resting his chin on the other’s shoulder again, he began to slowly but methodically wrap the bandages around his waist.
After a moment of silence, he saw out of the corner of his eye, a long and thick scar across his neck. Ryuunosuke must’ve felt him staring, because he seemed to brace himself for the inevitable question.
“Is that…”
“From Fukuchi, on the boat, yes.” He answered. “It’s not one of the scars I told you not to look at, don’t worry.”
Atsushi slowly stopped wrapping the wound, all his attention going towards the scar on his neck, from when Ryuunosuke died protecting him. From the moment that Ryuunosuke decided that Atsushi’s life was worth more than his own. He vaguely recognized his cheeks being damp, and his vision becoming slightly blurred but couldn’t pay attention to it. The scar was massive. It was one hundred percent fatal. Ryuunosuke wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for-
“Atsushi?” Ryuunosuke asked, startling him out of his spiral. “You’re crying. I don’t- I’m not sure how to deal with you crying.”
He aggressively rubbed at his eyes, trying to rid them from tears. “Sorry, I- I didn’t mean to start crying. It’s dumb-”
“It’s not dumb.” Ryuunosuke interrupted sternly. “I died in front of you. You have every right to cry.”
“I’m not the one who died!” Atsushi protested, fists balled tightly. “You-”
Ryuunosuke grabbed his hands, prying his half transformed nails from his palms. They had partially pierced the skin, the wounds healing within seconds. “Don’t hurt yourself. It’s alright. I’m ok.”
Atsushi’s hands went slack in Ryuunosuke’s as he let out a wobbly breath. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” Ryuunosuke told him, craning his neck to look at Atsushi. “We both made it out of that, and we couldn’t have done anything different.”
“You could’ve protected yourself if you had Rashomon,” Atsushi protested weakly.
“We both agreed that our only shot was giving you Rashomon,” Ryuunosuke replied, turning his head back to look forward. “If it’s your fault for my death, it’s just as much mine.”
“It’s not either of our faults,” Atsushi relented, sighing. “Thank you.”
Ryuunosuke let out a noise of acknowledgement. The two sat in silence for a moment, simply enjoying each other’s company. Atsushi’s arms wrapped around Ryuunosuke’s front, their hands intertwined. Atsushi still had his chin resting on the other’s shoulder, the tears gone from his eyes.
“Are you going to kiss my scar?” Ryuunosuke asked out of nowhere, blushing slightly.
Atsushi flushed red at the request. “I, uh… forgot.”
Ryuunosuke looked away slightly, exposing the scar on his neck wordlessly. Atsushi leaned forward, pressing a kiss against the scar. Ryuunosuke gasped slightly at the contact, and Atsushi took the opportunity to plant another kiss to the scar, before leaning back from his neck.
“Can you finish bandaging my wound?” Ryuunosuke asked, cheeks tinted pink as he pointedly avoided Atsushi’s gaze.
“Alright,” he responded, before kissing the nape of his neck. He tried to go for another kiss, before a tendril from his coat came up and wrapped itself around his mouth. He looked at the back of Ryuunosuke’s head unimpressed at the use of Rashomon to stop his affection.
“Weretiger. Bandages.” He grumbled, obviously flustered. Atsushi whined through the fabric, pulling it away from his face. He stuck his tongue out, before grabbing the bandages and continuing to wrap the wound.
Every once in a while, Atsushi would poke a scar on Ryuunosuke’s back and ask about it. Ryuunosuke would sometimes provide a story, or a one word answer, or just not say anything. Atsushi would touch the scar lightly while he was talking, kissing it when the response was finished.
“Alright, it’s done.” Atsushi told him, finished wrapping the bandages around his wound. He turned away to put the remaining bandages in the first aid kit, organizing it as best he could before closing it. “Do you want me to grab you a new shirt?”
“...That’s oddly nice, weretiger.” He answered instead after a moment. Atsushi rolled his eyes.
“I’d hope you think I’m nice, I just spent the past twenty minutes bandaging your back.” Atsushi said, clamoring off the bed. “So is that a yes?”
“It’s fine,” Ryuunosuke said. “Could you put the first aid kit back while I change, though?”
“Alright,” Atsushi said, pushing himself off the bed, taking the kit with him. “Let me know when I can come back in.”
Stepping into the bathroom, he stuffed the first aid kit back under the sink where it belonged. Standing up, he looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were still a bit red from crying earlier, and there was a splotch of dried blood on his shirt. He inspected the shirt through the mirror, clicking his tongue. Ryuunosuke’s blood must’ve soaked into his own shirt.
He didn’t want to sleep in a bloodied shirt, but also didn’t have another shirt to wear to sleep. And sleeping without a shirt… frowning in contemplation, he weighed his options-
“You can come in,” Ryuunosuke’s voice cut through his thoughts. Atsushi shrugged, putting it off to deal with it later. Atsushi stepped in, staring at Ryuunosuke in minute shock.
“Did you forget to put a shirt on?” He asked. Because he was sitting there, arms wrapped around his chest, his gaze averted. He had changed his pants, so he did remember to change his clothes. He just… forgot to put a shirt on. Which, for someone as reliant on clothing as Ryuunosuke, seemed like an odd oversight.
“I want to show you my scars.” He answered simply.
“You already did,” Atsushi responded, frowning slightly. “I mean- I’m flattered, don’t get me wrong, but…”
“You showed yourself around them,” Ryuunosuke scoffed. “Besides, I meant the ones I didn’t want you to see.”
It took him a moment to process what that meant. Upon realizing what he meant, Atsushi flushed red. “Oh. What, uh… what changed?”
“Earlier, I wasn’t in control of showing them to you,” He answered. “They were just there while you were treating my wound. If you’re going to see these ones, I want to be the one to show you.”
Atsushi gave a warm smile. “Thanks, Ryuu.” Before the other could respond, he crossed the difference between them and rested his hands on Ryuunosuke’s cheeks, slotting their lips together. He let out a small, content noise, leaning into the kiss. After a moment, Atsushi broke the kiss to sit next to Ryuunosuke. “Do you want to show me the scars?”
Ryuunosuke nodded. “There’s two on the other side of my neck from the one from the boat,” He murmured. Atsushi nodded, leaning into him and wrapping an arm around Ryuunosuke.
“Is this it?” Atsushi asked, caressing two small, circular scars by the base of his neck. Ryuunosuke nodded. “What happened?”
“Bram Stoker,” Ryuunosuke said, averting his gaze. Atsushi winced, understanding the implication. He knew intimately how the vampiric ability spread between people, and what the scar meant. His free hand instinctively went up to touch the faint, matching scar on his neck.
“Why didn’t you want to show that one to me?” Atsushi asked, his hand falling back to his lap.
“I tried to kill you because of that,” He answered. “After I promised not to. It made me break my promise to you.”
“You didn’t kill me, though,” Atsushi said sternly. “We both made it out of that.”
“I know.” Ryuunosuke answered, his head hanging slightly. “I just feel bad about it.”
Atsushi’s grip on Ryuunosuke tightened slightly. Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to the scars, pulling him closer. Pulling away after a moment, he grinned widely as Ryuunosuke ducked his head to look away.
“You’re embarrassing,” he muttered with no heat in his tone.
“I’m sure I am,” Atsushi responded, pressing another kiss to the scar. Ryuunosuke let out a quiet, surprised gasp at the contact. He went to give another kiss, before Rashomon wrapped itself around his mouth, preventing his affection. Atsushi pouted, poking him in the shoulder.
“Stop that,” Ryuunosuke told him, glaring at him. Atsushi narrowed his eyes, but relented. Rashomon finally dropped from around his mouth, and Atsushi took the opportunity to look at his shoulder. There was a thick scar running across it, one of the ones Ryuunosuke wanted to show him.
“What about this one,” He asked, his fingers gliding over it softly. “What happened here?”
“It was one of our fights. I think the first one,” Ryuunosuke told him, not looking Atsushi in the eye. Atsushi felt his heart drop. “You managed to get me with your claw.”
“I’m-”
“Don’t apologize,” Ryuunosuke interrupted. “It’s not your fault. I was trying to kill you.”
“I’m sorry,” Atsushi said anyway, letting go of Ryuunosuke. He just sighed, shuffling over to press his back into Atsushi’s front, essentially planting himself directly in Atsushi’s lap.
“I didn’t want to show you because I knew you’d feel guilty,” Ryuunosuke told him. “But I feel like if I didn’t show you now, you’d find out later.”
“Ryuu…” Atsushi mumbled, before finally wrapping his arms around his waist.
“It’s not your fault,” Ryuunosuke told him again. “I would’ve likely killed you given the chance in that fight. You were just fighting for survival.”
“I know it’s not my fault,” Atsushi lied. Ryuunosuke sighed, as if anticipating that response, and turned around. Quickly, and without warning, he dropped his hands to the blanket. Rashomon wrapped around his chest, obscuring whatever scars lay on there. He placed his hands on Atsushi’s cheeks, squishing them slightly as he stared into his eyes.
“If you keep blaming yourself I’m going to kill you.”
“That seems counter intuitive,” Atsushi mumbled.
“Then stop blaming yourself for it.” Ryuunosuke responded, his hands falling from Atsushi’s cheeks. “Just- kiss the scar and move on.”
Atsushi stared for a moment, before indulging his request and planting a kiss on his shoulder. Immediately after, he planted a kiss on Ryuunosuke’s neck, then his cheek, then his lips. Breaking the final kiss, he hovered only a few inches from Ryuunosuke’s face, a blush dusting his face. The two were silent for a moment, just drinking in each other’s presence.
“I still want to show you the last scars.” Ryuunosuke murmured, not pulling away at all.
“Whenever you’re ready.” Atsushi responded.
Ryuunosuke leaned in slowly, arms snaking around Atsushi’s lower back. Carefully, he closed the gap between them and slotted their lips together. Atsushi gave a small, content noise, his arms loosely hanging around Ryuunosuke’s neck. It’s so tender it might kill him. Even if they’ve done this before, and even when they do this again, it always made him feel like melting.
Ryuunosuke tugged him closer by his waist, one of his hands trailing up Atsushi’s spine and eliciting a small gasp of surprise from him. After a moment, he broke the kiss, and the two stared into each other’s eyes longingly.
“As much as I enjoy this,” Atsushi said under his breath, “You wont get to show me your scars if we keep making out.”
Ryuunosuke seemed to visibly weigh his options, pouting slightly. Atsushi laughed softly at the contemplation visible on his face. It was cute. He lightly kissed Ryuunosuke on the forehead, a stupid grin on his face. Ryuunosuke glared at him with no heat, moving away and dropping his arms from around Atsushi.
“Which scars did you want to show me,” Atsushi asked, dropping his arms as well. Ryuunosuke dropped the Rashomon across his chest. The first thing Atsushi noticed was how prominent his ribs were, but he couldn’t really judge the other on that. Atsushi was also pretty skinny.
The second thing he noticed was all the smaller scars littered around him, but they clearly weren’t what Ryuunosuke was alluding to. They were all around small and scattered, and not as prominent as on his back or arms.
The third thing he noticed was two long, jagged scars across his chest. They seemed poorly done, as if it was surgery he did on himself. Atsushi reached out hesitantly, giving Ryuunosuke enough time to tell him off if he wanted to. Ryuunosuke nodded, and Atsushi ran his hand across them.
“How’d you get these?” He asked. Because they weren’t battle scars, no - they were too symmetrical to be battle scars. Like he thought earlier, it might’ve been from a poor surgery, but Atsushi couldn’t think of any surgery that resulted in scars like that-
“Really?” Ryuunosuke’s voice cut through his thoughts. “You don’t know what this means?”
“Should I?” Atsushi asked, racking his brain for any possible answer. Nothing came to mind for what those scars would correlate to. Heart surgery? The scars were too low, and on both sides. Lung surgery? Plausible, but Ryuunosuke would’ve mentioned something.
“I’m trans, Atsushi,” He said, looking him dead in the eye. The silence persisted for a moment. A very long, and awkward, moment. “Really, weretiger? Transgender. You don’t know what that is? You’re literally gay.”
“Never heard of it.” He said bluntly. “What does that mean?”
Ryuunosuke looked like he wanted to facepalm. Or throw a dictionary at Atsushi. Or commit a crime. All three at once, really. Instead, he just sighed.
“I cut my tits off, weretiger,” He said. Atsushi let out a quiet ‘ah’, connecting the dots in his head.
“How come?” He asked, still trailing his hand across the scars.
“I didn’t like them,” He said, looking away from Atsushi. “Or being a girl in general, for that matter.”
“Weird.” He said, hand moving back and forth across his chest. “Not bad!” He clarified quickly. “Just weird.”
“Why weird?” Ryuunosuke asked.
“I wouldn’t really mind that sometimes,” He responded, shrugging. “Not constantly, but like… sometimes I’d like to be a girl. It’s weird finding out not everyone is like that.”
Ryuunosuke eyed him suspiciously. “We’re talking about this later.”
“Huh? Why?” Atsushi asked. “Why are we talking about this later?”
“Because it’s nearly three in the morning and I’m not awake enough to help you through a gender crisis.” Ryuunosuke shot back. Atsushi hummed, before quickly pressing a kiss to each scar. Ryuunosuke blushed deep red, scowling in embarrassment. Atsushi just grinned at him, trying to kiss him again before Ryuunosuke pushed his head away.
“Ryuu,” Atsushi whined.
“No,” He responded. “Stop crying about not being able to kiss me.” Atsushi stuck his tongue out as Ryuunosuke stood up, moving to his dresser. “Do you need another shirt? Yours has blood on it.”
Back to the prior dilemma he was faced with - what to do about his shirt. He was presented with the option for one of Ryuunosuke’s shirts, sure, but…
Staring at Ryuunosuke pulling on a shirt, he frowned. He had never wanted people to see the scars he had, even if they were fainter than they should be due to his naturally faster healing. He had never wanted to show someone, and had never had anyone who’d love him regardless.
“Weretiger?” Ryuunosuke asked, turning to look at him. “Do you want a new shirt?”
Atsushi blinked, startled out of his thoughts. Looking over at Ryuunosuke, he saw an incredible amount of love just beneath his eyes. Love reserved for Atsushi alone.
Before he could think better of it, he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it out of his reach. He and Ryuunosuke stared at each other for a moment, neither saying anything or moving at all.
“I’m assuming that you don’t want one then?” He asked, sitting down on the bed next to Atsushi.
“You showed me your scars,” Atsushi defended. “I wanted to show you mine.”
Ryuunosuke hummed, running his hand over one of the lighter scars on his arm. It was like a band, wrapping around the entirety of his arm, and jagged in parts. “What’s this one?”
“Got my arm ripped off, I think.” Atsushi commented. Ryuunosuke frowned.
“Was it because of me?” He asked, not looking away from the scar.
“I can’t remember,” Atsushi lied. He knew where it was from. He knew that one was from the airport, when Ryuunosuke was a vampire. He just didn’t want to bring it up.
“You get your limbs ripped off too often, Weretiger.” He replied after a moment, not calling Atsushi’s bluff.
“It’s not that often,” Atsushi defended.
“Most people don’t get their limbs ripped off at all,” Ryuunosuke shot back.
“It’s not that uncommon,” He muttered weakly.
Ryuunosuke just kissed it lightly, making Atsushi’s heart jump. He blushed slightly, looking away.
“What about this one?” Ryuunosuke asked, his thumb trailing along his arm. There was a thin, long, branching scar snaking around his entire forearm down to his wrist. It branched out as it spread across his arm. Atsushi was painfully aware of the matching one that should be on the other side of his body. They were incredibly faint from time, only able to be spotted if you were up close. Ryuunosuke rubbed circles on his back with his free hand. “Lichtenberg scars?”
“Orphanage.” Atsushi answered shortly, shrinking in on himself slightly. He wanted to show Ryuunosuke his scars, wanted to be vulnerable to him - that didn’t mean it was easy, though. He took a deep, shuddering breath, in and out, over and over. He could almost smell the blood at his feet again, could almost feel the grime underneath his nails, could feel the stiff steel chair beneath him, the cuffs wrapped around his wrists-
“Atsushi.” Ryuunosuke interrupted his spiral, leaning into his vision. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” Atsushi said, still trembling.
“Can I hug you?”
“...yeah.”
Ryuunosuke wrapped his arms around Atsushi, tightly squeezing him. Atsushi buried his face in Ryuunosuke’s chest, hugging him back tightly. He rubbed Atsushi’s back soothingly, hand going up and down his spine. He pressed a kiss to the top of Atsushi’s hair, holding onto him like he could fall away at any moment.
“Do you want to go to sleep?” Ryuunosuke asked, his face still pressed against the top of Atsushi’s head.
“I wanna show you more.” Atsushi whispered into his collarbone.
“If you space out again like that, I’m stuffing you in a shirt and we’re going to sleep.” Ryuunosuke grumbled.
“I won’t, don’t worry.” Atsushi said, placatingly. Pressing a kiss to Ryuunosuke’s collar, he sat up again. Ryuunosuke was flushed red, averting his gaze.
“Must you do that at every opportunity?” He asked grumpily.
“Yes. It’s my job.” Atsushi responded, kissing him on the cheek. He could feel the warmth of his face underneath his lips, before wrapping his arms around him and hugging him tightly. Ryuunosuke quickly returned the hug, chin resting on his shoulder.
“What’s this one?” Ryuunosuke asked, finger trailing over a circular scar.
“I think I got shot,” Atsushi murmured. “I can’t remember, honestly.”
Ryuunosuke hummed, before kissing Atsushi’s cheek. “Can’t reach the scar,” he defended.
“That’s fine.” Atsushi murmured, flushed red.
They continued like that for a while, Ryuunosuke staring over Atsushi’s shoulder at his back, his touch trailing over any scar he laid his eyes on. Atsushi would sometimes provide an explanation, if he remembered how he got the scar, and Ryuunosuke would kiss him. Sometimes on the cheek, sometimes on the neck. It made Atsushi feel incredibly loved, in a way he hadn’t in a long time.
Finally, Ryuunosuke lifted his head to look at Atsushi. The two stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, faces only a few inches apart. One of Ryuunosuke’s hands lay on his waist, the other carefully brought up to his cheek. Atsushi felt his cheeks grow warm as Ryuunosuke’s finger trailed over his lips carefully. He could feel his heart pounding throughout his entire body. It was like he was rooted to the spot, unable to do anything under Ryuunosuke’s touch-
“How did you get this one?” He asked, interrupting Atsushi’s thoughts.
“Huh?” He asked intelligently, not fully processing the words.
“This scar on your lip,” Ryuunosuke clarified.
“There’s a scar on my lip?” Atsushi asked, frowning slightly.
“There is,” Ryuunosuke informed him. “It’s really small and faint, but it’s there.”
“I didn’t know that,” Atsushi said, trying his best to not stare at the finger on his lips.
“I only saw it because of how close I am,” Ryuunosuke told him quietly, his eyes slightly closed. “Looks like you just bit at the skin too much.”
“I used to do that,” Atsushi mentioned. “Nervous tic that stuck around for a few years.”
Ryuunosuke hummed, before moving his finger out of the way. He seemed to be content to simply bask in the experience of being so close to Atsushi, something he had begun doing more often when it was just the two of them. Atsushi found it cute.
“You aren’t going to kiss the one scar you can actually reach?” Atsushi asked, unable to suppress the lovesick smile that was probably painted on his face.
“You’re incredibly needy,” Ryuunosuke muttered, before leaning forward to slot their lips together. Atsushi wrapped his arms around Ryuunosuke, one hand kiting through his hair and the other sneaking down the collar of his shirt. He let out a content sigh, as Ryuunosuke leaned more into the kiss.
They broke the kiss for a moment, faces less than an inch apart as they stared at each other. Ryuunosuke’s eyes fluttered open to stare at him, drinking in his appearance. Atsushi never noticed how beautiful his eyes were. Rather, he had noticed, but had never truly internalized it. Had never properly recognized just how much light was in them, how much emotion rested just behind them.
Those tired, gray eyes were some of the most beautiful things Atsushi had seen in his life. Coincidentally, many of the most beautiful things Atsushi had seen in his life included Ryuunosuke in some way.
“Atsushi,” Ryuunosuke murmured quietly, snapping him out of his thoughts. His hand carefully caressed Atsushi’s face as he leaned into it slightly.
“Ryuu,” Atsushi breathed softly. They met in the middle again, lips crashing together. Their kiss was rougher, more needy than the last ones. The hand on Atsushi’s cheek slid to cup the back of his head, fingers tangling through his hair, pulling him close. Atsushi let out a sigh, letting his hand run through Ryuunosuke’s hair.
After a long time they broke the kiss, still just as close, both breathing heavily. A wave of exhaustion hit Atsushi, his eyes struggling to stay fully open. Ryuunosuke looked worse, his eyes half closed and his head struggling to stay up without support.
“Weretiger,” Ryuunosuke whispered, sounding like he was going to fall asleep at any moment. His hand fell from Atsushi’s head, instead holding tightly to his back.
“Ryuu,” Atsushi acknowledged, tilting his head slightly.
“I don’t hate you.” He murmured, leaning against Atsushi’s chest and resting his head over Atsushi’s shoulder.
“I love you too.” Atsushi replied. All he was met with was Ryuunosuke’s even breaths by his ear and melodic movements of his chest against Atsushi’s. Even without looking at him, he could tell that Ryuunosuke’s eyes had fluttered shut, and he had fallen asleep. Atsushi carefully laid down, careful to not disturb his sleeping partner latched onto him.
After laying him down, he tried to get up to grab a shirt. He should probably have one, after all. As soon as he tried to wiggle out of Ryuunosuke’s grasp though, cloth wrapped around his body and held him in place. Atsushi stared at it, before looking back up to Ryuunosuke. He was still sound asleep, breathing softly. He smiled, using his free hand to brush some hair out of Ryuunosuke’s eyes. As best he could without waking the other up, he reached over to the nearby lamp and turned it off, before returning to bury his face in Ryuunosuke’s shoulder.
“Goodnight, Ryuu.” He mumbled, closing his eyes and slipping into sleep almost immediately.