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It’s been around two months since Sou Hiyori had been effectively “killed” by Alice Yabusame. Of course, what was destroyed was only a doll, not the real him. Nevertheless he was still punished for exposing a doll of Asu-Naro’s. Their AIs and dolls were top-secret projects that the outside world was never supposed to know about just yet, but stupid Alice had to go and shove one off a balcony. Thanks to him, Sou was now stuck inside with barely anything to do!
He’s still technically able to experiment on people, but physical experimentations can only go so far until they’re boring. Mental torment was best suited for mundane environments, where only a few changes are made to the subject's natural life. To be kidnapped and wake up in an unknown place? Too many variable changes already! Sou’s already seen that happen to many people, anyways, so he’d practically memorized all the usual reactions at this point.
He could code. His limited access to the internet didn’t actually hinder any programming software he had. Though, Asu-Naro had already made the necessary AIs for the test run simulations, so no point in making more. His monitors were mostly used for watching the simulations and noting down who won each time.
The best thing Sou had to keep himself entertained was access to his floor for the death game. Up until his recent “death,” he was supposed to be participating alongside the rest of the candidates. Now his position shifted from participant to floormaster. It was really infuriating... he was looking forward to that for practically his whole life! And now that role was stripped from him for something he didn’t do! But really, he should be thankful Asu-Naro didn’t kill him on the spot. He’s high up in the organization, but not except from permanent punishment for making mistakes.
Since he was made a floormaster rather recently, his floor was unfinished, only containing a monitor room, a library, and a few other empty rooms under renovation. The floor beneath him was pretty empty, too, and he wondered if he could snag it for himself somehow. Maybe by sucking up to his bosses, but that was uninteresting now. If he got bored enough perhaps..
Ugh, why is everything so boring here!?
Sou kicked his feet off of his desk, frustrated. He let himself spin in the newly brought-in office chair and watched all the monitors roll by his vision. Maybe he could spin himself to the point of nausea? He does have a few new doll part additions to his kind-of-human mostly-doll body. His head hasn’t been replaced yet, though, so he doubts anything interesting would happen, but whatever. The chair continued spinning as Sou tried to think of something else to do.
He’s walked around this place almost ten times now. None of the workers would respond to him when talked to, so he figured that was another way of punishing him. Nobody to easily converse with. He could spam random people by email but then they might cut off his communication entirely. That’d be awful. He already misses talking to people as it is now...
For the past two months, Sou has tried everything he could to not think about Shin. Not because he doesn’t like him, but because of the extreme opposite. He misses Shin the most out of everything. He misses being able to come home to his smiling face and listen to him ramble about his most random interests and play games with him until he fell asleep. He misses holding his hand and hugging him tightly and his weight as he leaned against Sou when he slept. And now the only Shin he’s able to see is the one on his monitors in the simulations. The one that dies repeatedly.
There are still pictures left of Shin on his phone, but it was taken away on day one of his solitude. He knows that begging for pictures or reports on how he’s doing won’t work, since he’s already tried and been firmly denied. Maybe he could find a way to sneak out of here? But that was obviously out of the question. This is Asu-Naro, after all, they practically own his life. And with the major slip-up he made, they’d certainly have eyes on his every move. There isn’t any feasible way to get out of here.
.... unless..
He smiled to himself, thinking about a plan. When he left, he was told to erase all traces of his existence. Everything from physical items to people’s memories were taken and replaced with something different. But in Shin’s case, the majority of his memories in recent years were with Sou, so only minor memory altering could be employed. After all, getting rid of all those memories would essentially give him amnesia, if not make him braindead outright from the volume of the procedure. And Sou left a little something else for Shin - his scarf! At some point he was asked where his scarf had gone and he only replied with “Oh! I must’ve misplaced it.” But if he remembered correctly, no one had brought up that his scarf was with Shin, so maybe they don’t know.
If he can somehow convince one of his bosses, probably Meister since he seems the most relaxed, then he might have a chance at going outside! He just has to bring up that he remembers leaving it at his apartment and that he probably knows where it is so he can go get it quickly. Of course he doesn’t actually intend to take it, just to go take a look at his apartment and maybe Shin if he was there. Although if he isn’t convincing enough, Meister will probably send someone else to retrieve it in place of him. And then Shin’s last remnant of Sou will be taken from him...
Well! He’d rather be sorry than safe at this point.
———
Huh. He didn’t know his apartment rent was being paid for.
The email he sent over to Meister actually went over rather smoothly, as long as he ignored the chastising and yelling that came of it. He got his own chauffeur, too! Though, like the other workers on Sou’s floor, he didn’t really talk at all, only drove over to Sou’s apartment. But that was nothing to him now; he was being let outside! Outside for the first time in two months! And yeah, there’s a pretty good chance that Shin wouldn’t even be there, but he was still excited to just be outside of his floor.
Sou walked through the empty lobby. It was nighttime, so most people were asleep or already working their night shifts. The elevator came soon after its button was pressed, and Sou stepped in, quickly inputting his floor’s number. He was told to get his scarf and leave as soon as possible, making sure that he’d be seen by nobody. Meister had informed him that his apartment was indeed still there with everything the way he had left it. Someone had apparently paid the rent for it for the past two months. It couldn’t have been Shin, right? Sou guessed it was someone from Asu-Naro, though he’s not sure why they’d do that.
He reached his floor quickly, giddy to see his apartment again. Unlocking the door with his old keys, he stepped inside. Almost everything was exactly how he left it, safe for a few dishes here and there. There was his jacket on the side of the couch that he hadn’t bothered to take with him, and even the half-finished jigsaw puzzle on the living room coffee table was untouched. For a moment, it really felt like coming home after another innocuous day of work.
Continuing inward, he glanced at the kitchen, seeing how many dishes were piled in the sink. Had Shin been here recently? It’d be terrible if it wasn’t him and Sou's apartment harbored someone else while he was gone. Though, if this was Shin, he may want to clean that up soon. The plates and bowls looked like a Jenga tower at this point! And Sou knew how important cleanliness was to his friend, so why were they still left there? Hmm.. Maybe he should help Shin with that if he can.
Before he did, though, he wanted to go see their bedroom again. If Shin was here, had he slept in Sou’s bed? The couch looked completely untouched and there weren’t any blankets on the floor. It was just a throwaway thought but he couldn’t help but smile at it. He noticed the bedroom door slightly cracked open - strange.. Both he and Shin always close the doors in the apartment, especially when they go to sleep. Whatever, it’s probably nothing! Sou’s hand goes to the door handle, but the door opens slowly before he can even touch it.
“... Hiyori..?”
Standing before him, though still behind the door, is the person who he wanted to see the most. Who he missed the most. He’s what he missed the most.
Shin is hunched over, looking wide-eyed directly at Sou. If Sou squints a little, he can make out tear tracks trailing down his face, as well as how glossy Shin’s eyes look. He wasn’t wearing his beanie and his hair was messier than usual. He seemed to have a checkered blanket draped over himself, and along with the door handle on the other side, he was tightly clutching Sou’s scarf in his hands. He looked miserable.
Sou tried not to think about Shin for two months. How selfish of him to not consider how Shin was pulling through this...
He suddenly remembered that Shin had just said his name. He brushed aside the mixed feeling of glee and guilt and warmly smiled at Shin with nothing more than a “Hi.”
Shin continued to stare. Even as his trembling lip quivered more. Even as his glossy eyes produced tears. Even as he let the door open and stepped forward. He stared into Sou’s eyes for as long as he could, up until he hurriedly threw his arms around his torso, as if Sou was about to leave again at any minute.
“Hi-Hiyori-... wh-where.. were you...”
Shin couldn’t manage much out, as he was busy sobbing into Sou’s chest. It seemed that he wasn’t expecting him to come back at all either, since he struggled on what to say. Sou couldn’t do much, though. He knew he had to leave soon. Still, he gently wrapped his arms around Shin and held him firmly. It surprised him just how much he felt after seeing Shin again. Being isolated for that long must’ve really muted his emotions. Now listening to Shin cry like this, he’s angry and devastated knowing that he has to leave Shin again. He can’t leave Shin like this! He just can’t bear to see him looking so hopeless. But he can’t do anything, especially now after he screwed up...
“Hiyori... p-please..”
He didn’t know what to say to make Shin feel better, so he hugged him tighter. Shin responded by latching his arms even tighter around Sou, digging his fingers into the fabric of his suit. He remained crying as his knees gave out, fully dependent on Sou to keep him standing. After a minute, Sou sat them both on the ground. It was more comfortable like this, anyways. He stroked Shin’s back as he sobbed and tried to form sentences, even when all that was coming out was more tears from his eyes and wails from his throat.
“I’m sorry,” was all that Sou could reasonably say. Shin cried harder at this.
After a few more minutes, Shin seemed to calm down enough into hiccups and sniffles. He lifted his head to look at Sou again. Sou looked at him, too, seeing how his eyes looked like that of a kicked puppy, except more kicked and less puppy...
“Hiyori, why did y-you.. why'd you leave me..?”
Sou wasn't sure if he should answer. He doesn't usually like lying to Shin, but he certainly couldn't tell him the truth. “I.. can't tell you.” It's hard to talk for some reason. It's hard for him to leave Shin completely in the dark like this. To give a non-answer to his pouting and confused and scared face. “But... I was forced to leave. I.. I didn't want to...”
Shin looked indecisive at hearing the response. Relieved that his friend wasn’t upset with him, but probably guessing he might have to leave again.
“Will you.." he sniffled. "Are you staying now?” His eyes looked pleading and desperate. Typically, Sou would love the expression. Any face Shin makes is automatically one of his favorite things to look at. But this... felt too sour for him. He didn’t want to leave Shin like this.
“I... can’t... I’m sorry.”
Shin did everything he could to try and stay together, but it was only barely working. He buried his head back into Sou’s chest and gripped onto his suit so hard Sou thought he might tear it. Shin was inhaling and exhaling as evenly as he could get, which wasn’t very even, but it was preventing the last bit of tears from spilling over.
For the first time in quite a while, Sou felt near-completely useless. His best friend of five years was trying to not break down again and nothing Sou could do would help. Shin’s too fixated on having to be left alone again for who knows how long. If Sou stayed here for even a few more minutes, his chauffeur may come up here looking for him and see him interacting with Shin. He has to leave soon. He can’t stay and help Shin. He can’t do anything to help without risking both of their lives at the hands of Asu-Naro.
Sou spoke up. “Shin. I need you to promise me that you won’t ever tell anybody about this night.” He had to be upfront with Shin and trust Shin to believe him. It would be a pain to find a way to wipe his memory, and if he’s being honest, he wants Shin to remember this night. He wants him to know that it wasn’t Shin’s fault that he left, and he didn’t want to go, either. He doesn’t want Shin to scrutinize himself even more than he knows he already does.
Shin nods, and responds after a few moments. “..O-Okay. I- I won’t tell anyone..” He parts slightly from Sou, looking at the scarf in his hands before offering it to him. Instead of taking it for himself, he wraps it around Shin’s neck. “It looks good on you.” Shin looks like he may cry again as he clutches the scarf with both hands, slumping over to try and hide his expression.
Sou lifts up Shin’s face with his hand. He looks at Shin with a sad smile, who looks back with a sad frown. Sou knows this isn’t the right time for a kiss, but he also knows that there probably won’t be a better time anymore. He leans forward, gently placing his lips on Shin’s. The latter seems too stunned to do anything. Sou pulls away and is met with Shin quickly placing his hands on Sou’s shoulders and pulling himself forward to kiss Sou again. Sou weakly holds his face in his hands, unaware of the tears clouding his own vision. He doesn’t want this to end. He doesn’t want to leave Shin. He doesn’t. He doesn’t.
Shin pulls away and slides his arms around Sou’s neck, hugging him again. Sou mindlessly wraps his arms around Shin’s waist, leaning his head into his chest. He can’t let himself cry. Not in front of Shin. He has to be strong for him.
A car beeps outside, and he knows his time is up. Sou blinks back his tears and lets go of Shin, who quickly does the same and gets to his feet. Sou stands up himself and forcefully smiles at Shin. “Bye!” he says, and turns to leave. He didn’t see how anxious Shin looked when he did so. Sou only got halfway through the living room when he felt Shin’s arms around him again. He didn’t have the strength to resist.
“I love you.”
Shin squeezed him after saying this, before quickly, but reluctantly, letting go. Sou stood frozen in front of the coffee table, fists clenched and re-emerging tears threatening to spill. But Shin seemed strong enough. Like he’d grown enough. So Sou let the tears fall down his face and looked at Shin with a broken smile.
“I love you, too.”
He left quickly, for fear of taking too long, and because he didn’t think he could keep it together anymore if he saw Shin’s reaction. He composed himself as well as he could in the elevator down.
———
Sou Hiyori was bored again today, so he meandered to the library and skimmed through sections of books. He’s been allowing himself to think of Shin more. As much as he misses him, he figures it’s okay, since he’ll see him when the death game happens, anyways. Oh, but that won’t be for a long while... Sou takes one of the empty blue books off the shelf and walks back to his monitor room with it.
It’s been another month since the last time he saw Shin. Nobody knew he did, of course, and he had faith that Shin had kept his promise of not telling anyone. When Sou got back later that night he made another excuse saying that he couldn’t find it and that “the mean chauffeur didn’t let me look properly!” due to honking the car horn when he was still inside. It cut off his time with Shin, so he had every right to be mad at the man. He still got punished for not fulfilling his task, though, and so the privilege of emailing was taken away from him.
But that was okay! He’s already thought of someone better to talk to! Someone he could talk to whenever he pleased. Someone he could create to replicate his favorite thing in the world!
Sou sat down at his desk and booted up one of the side monitors. He grabbed a black marker for the book title and wrote “Shin Tsukimi AI Test Data.”