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Pansy was rather annoyed by the fact she had to wait for Draco to show up at their planned get-together, especially as he was the one who kept pushing for a weekly meeting.
By the time he finally showed up he looked nothing like the Draco she was used to seeing. His hair was a mess, in fact, he seemed to have forgotten to even brush it. His clothes were also crinkled, and looking at them she realised it was his clubbing clothes, meaning he had most likely been out all night. Looking at his face she found more evidence of him not having been home at all that night. There were dark rings under his eyes, his face was slightly puffy, and his breath smelled of booze.
Having never seen him like that except during nights when they were out partying she didn’t know how to react.
“Are you well?” she asked, certain something happened seeing as he’d not been home all night. He was smiling, making her wonder if he’s consumed more than alcohol.
“You won’t believe the night I’ve had,” he said rather excited, unable to hide the excitement in his voice even though he also sounded exhausted.
“You’re right, I won’t. So what happened to you? I’ve never seen you like this before.”
As if he wanted to keep proving her right about things not being normal he grabbed food off her plate, something he’d never done before as only peasants did such things. “Sorry, I’m so hungry.”
“Obviously.” Pansy stared at him as if a creature had taken over his body, wondering if she should contact his parents to let them know the Draco they knew was no longer there. “Here, have the rest, I’ll order something else.” Quickly she got up and moved over to the cash register, while standing there she looked back at Draco, who was occupied stuffing his face like a feral animal who hasn’t eaten in forever, not caring if anyone saw him.
Returning to the table she continued to stare at him as he ate so fast he ended up coughing. The way he ate both fast and ungraceful reminded her about Weasley back in school, and it made her scrunch her nose at his behaviour. “Maybe slow down, unless you like cooking on your food.”
“Sorry,” he said, disgusting her even more as the food in his mouth almost fell out.
“Ok, spill it, what happened?”
“Well, you wouldn’t believe it but I met someone.” Pansy wished she could say she didn’t believe him, but seeing the state he was in she was certain he was telling the truth.
“Any more information or is that all you’re going to tell me? When did you meet them?”
“Well, once I was done clubbing with Blaise I went to this muggle pub. They couldn’t be used to clubbers being there as several groups kept throwing snarky comments my way, rude comments about me being in the wrong place and so on. Of course I gave them the famous Malfoy glare - which worked.”
“Of course it did,” she said, knowing all too well how powerful his glare could be.
“Those muggles have no idea what class is, pretty sure some are the inbred type who have gone to the same pub for centuries.” Pansy wondered where he was going with the story as he didn’t often feel the need to share such details about people who didn’t matter. “Well, while I was eating peanuts and drinking beer, as you do when you’re in a pub, one of those men approached me. Pansy, you won’t believe me when I say he was an utter beefcake. First he apologised for his friends’ behaviour and we started talking, and then I offered to buy him a drink.”
Pansy wasn’t able to hide her surprise at Draco offering to buy a guy in a pub a drink, she couldn’t remember if he’d ever done anything like it before. “And?” Pansy asked, feeling like she had to force the information out of him.
“Well, we talked till about an hour ago, he had to go to work. While we said goodbye he asked if I wanted to meet up again, and he was so good looking I said yes.”
Watching him she noticed the blush that crossed his face as he described the night to her. She knew something must have happened to him and wasn’t certain he was telling the entire truth, because he’s met plenty of people before that had never made him behave in such a way before.
“You're actually going to go out with a random muggle you meet at a pub?”
“Well, yes, why wouldn’t I? He was interesting, funny, and kind. Good looks are also impressive, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you the size of his arms, and how thick his neck is, and his chest, whatever you imagine just double it. I’m sure he could pick me up as if I weighed as much as this scone.”
“Maybe I will get to see this mysterious man of yours soon then.”
“Yes!” Draco still sounded excited, but his energy level was drastically evaporating as he’s been awake all night.
Pansy tried to keep their meeting lively, unfortunately after ten minutes she realised she had to give up as he was too tired to make coherent sentences. Finishing their lunch they said their goodbyes, and as she watched him she noticed he was still in a good mood, and while she wished him happiness she hoped he would be back to his gloomy self who hated everything and anyone the next week they got together.
Of course there was no such luck as the next week Draco stormed into the cafe with such a large amount of energy she wondered if she should have pretended she was sick so she could leave quickly.
“You won’t believe it Pansy, he’s a baker!”
“Wait, I thought he worked with beef?”
“No, he IS a beefcake, but he works as a baker. And you know how I love my baked goods.” Pansy nodded in agreement as she knew Draco’s obsession with food made out of dough. “Well, as our first official date he took me to his bakery and asked if I liked his buns.” Pansy fought the urge to roll her eyes as she was having a hard time believing Draco was as easy to fall for stupid puns. “I replied that his buns are huge and that I looked forward to tasting them. Luckily I don’t think the woman standing close by knew what we were really talking about because then she would have died of embarrassment. I then said the size of his croissant was rather impressive as well, I think he knows what I really meant by it. What I was referring to was his-”
“You don’t have to tell me, I’m not brain dead Draco, you don’t have to explain sexual innuendos to me.” Pansy wasn’t a prude, but she wasn’t interested in listening to her friends telling her about their sexual experiences, especially not as she would have a hard time meeting their love interests knowing what they liked or didn’t like in bed.
Not really wanting to listen to Draco brag about a random man he was falling for, something she thought was impossible as the Malfoy clan were pragmatic and never exposed their true feelings, she tried nudging the discussion to something else, herself and her hatred for one of her coworkers. It was easy making Draco focus on that instead as they were having a lot of fun talking about which kind of curses Pansy could get away with, if she chose to take that route of course. For the remainder of their lunch date they focused on things other than his romance.
A week later Pansy was surprised by Draco’s calm behaviour as he entered the cafe, she knew that if his relationship with the baker had ended he would be heartbroken and moody. Unfortunately she knew deep down what was really going on, and she knew she would have to take the first step to mend their relationship. She would have to ask about his baker, even though she still believed it was partly made up.
“So where did the beefy baker take you this time?” Pansy asked as she could see the stupid look on Draco’s face as he pretended he was back to his normal self, of course he was such a crappy actor a blind man could see it.
He confirmed her earlier suspicions by giving her a rather monotone answer. “I thought you didn’t want to know.”
Pansy fought the urge to punch him as he was ruining their meetings with such stupid comments. “I don’t mind it as long as you keep any sexual details to yourself.”
“But the details are the best part!”
“Then maybe we should put our lunch dates on hold till you can focus on things besides his bagels, pretzels or whatever you were talking about.”
“Fine,” Draco moped as he poked his sandwich.
Hating to make him feel bad she decided to give into some of his excitement. “If you promise no sex details then you can tell me about your dates.” She could see how Draco’s mood instantly returned as he was granted permission to share.
“I promise,” he agreed. She knew he would most likely stray off the path after a while, but it was better to pull him back on track than seeing him sad. “I wanted to take him to something classy, for once, so we went wine tasting. It was nothing like when we went there. I think around the third time we were forced to spit the wine neither one of us could stay serious and we had a laughing fit that resulted in the guide kicking us out of the tasting. I full heartedly believe she would have banned us from ever going there had she now known who my father is. We decided spitting out wasn’t for us so we found a pub that had artisan beer, it was more fun, no silly faces, and we got to actually drink.”
“He does sound like the pub kind of guy.”
“He might not be the gurgling type, but he is romantic.”
“Really?” She somehow doubted it, as she knew Draco’s type.
“The other day he brought some stale bread from his bakery and we went to the park to feed the ducks.”
“Wait, ducks? How do you even know what a duck is?”
“I know what a duck is.” She watched him as he got an expression of thinking really hard.
“Did they have long or short necks?”
The length of his thinking pause was embarrassingly long. In the end he answered in the form of a question “Both?” Rolling her eyes again at his lack of knowledge for things he didn’t really see as important she stuffed her mouth with the remaining of her scone so she didn't want to tell him just how wrong he was.
“There might have been some geese there, or maybe they were swans.” Pansy tried her best to hold back a snort, unfortunately she wasn’t as successful. “You know I don’t really care about animals.” Pansy nodded as she tried to give him a reassuring smile while she was still chewing.
“We’ve also been to the beach at sunset, of course one thing led to another and we ended up-” Because her mouth was still partly full of scones she couldn’t say anything, but she made a sound which wasn’t to be mistaken. “Sorry, no details, I forgot. Let’s just say I think the sand on that beach is cursed because I could find it in unmentionable places for days.”
If she didn’t risk looking ungraceful she would have opened her mouth and told him he’d broken their agreement, but she wasn’t willing to take such a risk so she sent him a glaring look instead.
The rest of their lunch date went rather well as he was back in a good mood, besides a few random comments about his amazing body or personality he behaved well. She still believed his baker was still mostly made up. The theme of the discussion moved over to how their daily lives were treating them. Draco would never stop talking about the baker, unless they broke up, so she had to behave nicely and avoid judging him too harshly.
Of course the next time they met for tea the first thing he said as he barged into the shop made her wish she could pretend she didn’t know him. Smiling broadly the excitement made him look more like a sappy Gryffindor and not like the cool Slytherin she knew him as.
“Pansy, he won! He’s the National Amature Boxing Championship. You should have seen him in the ring, it was so hot seeing him punch that other guy, seeing his body move with such power, it was a wonder I didn’t jump him at the first possibility I had.”
“Boxing? Wasn’t he a baker?”
“He’s a multi-talented baker. He is an amateur boxer and also does bodybuilding, which he’s won several times.”
“And he likes to feed ducks, geese and swans,” she answered rather humorously, a tone Draco didn’t quite catch on as he was still excited and focused on himself.
“Yes! He’s just so amazing.” Pansy was starting to wonder if the mystery man was all in Draco’s head as every week he sounded less and less real. “And not to mention the number of orgasms he gives me.”
“I said no details!”
“It didn’t give you any details, just information.” Pansy glared at him, wishing he would stop bending the rules. “He’s got an impressive baguette, if you know what I mean.”
“Draco, I swear, if you talk about his buns, croissants or baguette again I’ll leave.”
“I guess that means you also don’t want to hear me talk about how he fills me up with his special cream filling either then?”
Pansy pushed herself away from the table and grabbed her bag, ready to leave. Unfortunately Draco stopped her by looking at her with the look he often had when he was sorry, even though he wasn’t as sorry as she wished he was.
“Please don’t leave, I’m joking, mostly.” She always gave in to him so she sat down again. “He’s going to host a celebration party for winning the championship at his bakery the day after tomorrow, I hope you would like to join me.”
Even if she wasn’t curious to see who Draco was dating she would join him simply because he wanted her to do so. “Fine, if we can talk about anything other than your boyfriend, which sounds pretty made up if you ask me.”
“When have I ever made up a boyfriend?”
“Exactly! You’ve never done it before but this one sounds unreal. Well, let’s talk about me for a change, I got that promotion.”
“Really? Congratulations Pansy!” She was glad the discussion was finally about something else than Draco’s love life, which she still didn’t quite believe was real, and there were two days before she would see for herself if he was as demented as she believed he was.
There wasn’t much left of their lunch date after that as they both had to return to work. Draco was worried she didn’t really want to join him so he made Pansy agree multiple times to join him at the celebration party. Joining meant she would finally be able to meet the man she’d heard far too much about, who couldn’t be as tall, muscular or amazing as Draco let her to believe, so she had to join him. Maybe the mystery man wasn’t really a muggle and had cast a curse on Draco, or was feeding him pastries with cream filling laced with love potion. She was annoyed at how Draco made simple baked goods sound filthy thanks to his sexual innuendos.
Two days later she was holding onto Draco’s arm, letting him lead the way across the street towards the party. She still wasn’t certain the mystery baker bodybuilder boxer was real, but Draco's confidence made her wonder if she was wrong.
She knew at once where the bakery lay as Draco was walking directly at an entrance with an embarrassingly large amount of balloons decorating it. So there was a bakery, she was willing to admit she’d been wrong about that, but certainly Draco’s love interest wasn’t as muscular as he kept bragging about, there had to be something in his croissants to make Draco fall for him.
“Are you ready?” Draco asked her with an excitement she couldn’t remember he had ever shown before when it came to the people he was dating. Looking at his face she decided not to speak her mind, instead she would keep her comments till after she met the baker.
The inside of the bakery was as nauseating as the outside, the number of balloons was comical. She was reminded of Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop during Valentine's Day when they were bombarded by decorations. As they entered the room Draco handed her a glass of what she could only assume was an alcoholic beverage, something she accepted as she was certain drinking was the only way to get through the party. Looking around the room she wondered how long she had to stay before it was acceptable to leave, that was when she came across something that wasn’t to be mistaken, Draco’s mystery man.
Draco wasn’t lying when he said the man was huge, if she was completely honest Draco didn’t do the man justice, his body was like that of a mythical creature she never imagined she’d ever see. “Is that…” she started, only to be distracted by the way the baker moved across the room with a softness she didn’t think was possible considering just how huge he was.
Before Draco could answer the giant came over and lifted Draco so they could kiss, or more like snogging. Seeing Draco with the mountain of a man she wondered if he was part troll. Feeling like she was intruding on a moment that was far more sexual than it had to be Pansy looked away from the couple, taking in the rest of the party. She didn’t recognise any of the other guests at first, but then she recognised someone who could never be mistaken.
“Potter?” she blurted out before thinking. The kissing suddenly stopped and Draco looked in the direction she was staring, looking just as taken aback as she was, a look that mirrored Potter's stupid face as well as he saw them.
“What’s he doing here?” Draco asked stupidly.
It was the bodybuilding boxer baker who broke the silence that had taken over the room. “You know my cousin?”
The expressions on their faces as they realised they shared more history than previously expected was freaking hilarious. She knew she shouldn’t laugh, but she was unable to ignore the hilarity and the fact that Draco had fallen for a man who was Harry freaking Potter’s cousin. Bringing her drink up to her lips she tried not to laugh out loud at the situation. Suddenly the party wasn’t nearly as boring as she expected, and for once she was glad she’d been mistaken, even though she was also right, he wasn’t perfect as he was related to Harry Potter. The awkward moment grew as the people involved were confused, watching them Pansy hoped the party would last far into the evening.