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Hinata looks at Kageyama.
He looks at him a lot and that is something he would pretty much like no one to know. It is a fact and a good one because thanks to that he has learnt some things about Kageyama no one has ever take the time to notice and he sees a lot on him.
The first and last day of his middle school volleyball match, he learns that Kageyama is an asshole and not a bullie asshole, he’s an honest and blunt one about what he loves the most and he isn’t afraid to break Hinata apart with his harsh words about his technique and how all that hardwork is not enough. Its hurts like shit and Hinata wanted to punch something at the statement but instead he cries all of it and makes a promise to achieve the glory someday.
Obviously nothing ever go his way and he has to end up in the same team with him, right? Obviously nothing ever go the way he wish.
But things always get better, he knows that and they do, they get better and he learns the first things, he learns that Kageyama is awkward, passionate about everything he loves, practice until he can’t move and tosses to Hinata like a never ending and he’s a stubborn little shit and that’s good, it’s fun and Hinata for the first time, that night in bed after the match 3-on-3 thinks, this can work.
Things change, things always change when time flies and practice is fun and his hand has this tingling feeling after a good toss, when there is a cool air in the afternoon and feels every sore muscle, when he wants the time to go a little slower for this to never end.
Sometimes Kageyama approaches him and drinks his water on silence like keeping him company, sharing the cool air, other times they bicker for the sake of it to have this sense of routine and other times… other times they have little talks about the top of the world, when they finally achieve the glory, how winning nationals will be the start of it and Hinata had this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach and he saves it in someplace he can’t put a name on yet. He blames the three meat buns he ate at lunch.
“The top of the world looks like a long way to go.” He says one day before they part ways, he can see every star and it’s so beautiful.
“That’s why it’s called the top of the world, dumbass” Kageyama replied but when Hinata is ready to reply with a comeback he realizes he’s not being looking, instead his eyes are fixed on the sky “That’s what make it worth it, how high it is” and it is the most serious thing Hinata has heard so far from him and that look on Kageyama’s face, that determined look and hopeful goes directly somewhere in his chest and it is even weirder when he realizes that he doesn’t want to look away.
They part ways after that but when Hinata goes to bed that night he feels like smiling before he closes his eyes.
He dreams about high stars in the sky and blue eyes.
When Hinata looks at Kageyama he sees a lot, he sees a tall idiot with a permanent scowl on his face, always a pout at the end of his lips, silky black hair and intense blue eyes. He also feels the balls that are always toss in his direction, the feeling of this eyes on him and the rough hand on his hair, squeezing, how as time goes by the squeeze becomes something more soft, maybe is his imagination but Hinata feels that hand stay a little longer and his own face turning fifty shades of red at the thought of it wanting to stay.
“Kageyama is good-looking.”
Sugas’s voice is soft and low, barely a murmur just for the two of them and Hinata feels confuse and lost with that statement because Kageyama is not good looking. He’s hideous.
Obviously.
“What?”
Of course he ask that.
Suga stares at him long and unreadable and smiles. He always smiles, softly and supportive and Hinata has always thought it was a beautiful one, one he can trust and talk about things he doesn’t dare to talk with someone else, Suga knows things, he understands you and he supports you, his smiles are part of that, but this one? This one is soft and secretive, looking at him with some amusement and fondness.
It’s nerve wrecking.
He doesn’t get the chance to answer before all of them are call out for the last ten minutes left for that afternoon practice but he stays there thinking.
Of course Kageyama is not good looking. The curve of his jaw is a joke and how soft must be his hair… it has to smell weird or something or how the way when the sun is in the right angle you can see how blue his eyes are. Of course he’s not good looking, he’s hideous.
And he starts walking.
They argue a lot, every day and he lost count of the times they'd end up wrestling in the grass between lunch breaks, it’s their thing, arguing, race to the gym, who ends up cleaning first or who gets to change the fastest, always a challenge but they become closer now and the just partners comes by with the word friend on every competition.
They always go home together and Hinata feels their hands brush or their shoulders and when Kageyama is not there the space besides him feels empty and lonely and it’s been a long way but the thing on his chest on the pit of his stomach is not getting away, it stay and it is stronger than before, he feels it when they share lunch and their legs are touching, when Kageyama buys milk and juice for them, when they share meat buns after practice and when they part ways, like a crescendo that can’t be stop and its gonna explode someday.
Hinata has always been someone that feels too much about everything, he cries easily and stops just like that, he’s simple minded and whatever he feels he gets used to it, he adapts and deals with it.
It’s Friday night when he part ways with Kageyama, these feelings are stronger and he just stays there and watch Kageyama’s back at the distance, when he thinks he’s is not turning around, he does and waves at him a final goodbye and “Don’t be late tomorrow, dumbass!” making his heart beat faster and he knows he can’t get used to it.
He’s fuck.
The thing about you realizing that you are in love with one of your best friends is that you notice the details that you knew were there but you didn’t take important notice until now. You know things like the favorite food, favorite sport and how everything take a new level of detail. He notices that when Kageyama is not frowning his face doesn’t look bad and remembers Suga’s words. He’s good looking BUT he still has a shitty personality. As shitty as ever.
You want things you didn’t know you want, like holding his hand when you go home together or touch his hair or rest your head on his shoulder. Those are silly things but they make his heart beat fast and his cheeks burn.
Time go slow too and everything is a little different, he doesn’t want to go home and at the same time he just want to sleep and is like this for a while, Hinata just feeling these stuff and how the seasons are passing by and he and Kageyama have this friendship that he wouldn’t dare to ruin or at least what he thinks most of the time.
There was this one time when Hinata has a breakdown and tears where running down his cheeks and he felt like everything was too hard and he too weak, he remember Kageyamas face and his obvious internal freak-out, how he felt rough hands on his cheeks and caressing fingers. The tears almost stopping at the unusual touch, intense blue eyes and his own heart jumping at the sudden proximity. Too close and not enough. He remember closing his eyes and trying to breath and Kageyama whispering about how damn good he can be if he keeps going and that he’s not alone, he’ll never be and Hinata’d had like to tell him to not make that kind of promises that can be easily broken.
It is easy to like someone, you just like them and you still can escape but when you’re in love it’s hard to fall out of it if the person in question make it hard for you to do it.
That’s why he decided to do it, because at the end, he needs to know.
“I like you”
When Hinata confesses to Kageyama the streets are covered in snow, Christmas is in the next corner, his ears red from the cold and a big scarf around his neck, his mittens saving his hands and Kageyama looking at him like it’s the first time.
He’s ready to go home and cry on his sleep from rejection that he almost doesn’t notice when a hand reaches his cold cheek and he sees it, those blue eyes almost sparkling and an unmistakable blush on Kageyama that is not from the cold. They’re so close now and Hinata can´t look away, it’s late, they have Christmas presents with them and the sky is so clear they can see every star.
“Me too. I like you too” is such a little murmur that Hinata thinks for a second is his imagination but is not, his heart ready to jump out of his chest and his body shaking with excitement and an overcoming thrill of happiness.
That night before they go home, Hinata kisses him and kisses him and kisses him because he can’t forget and everything is so clear and under the starry sky he can see everything in Kageyama’s eyes and he’s so beautiful standing there, holding his hand and kissing his cheeks and his nose and his lips.
So beautiful.