Work Text:
Semi swore this must be from the stupidity that Tendo had been rubbing off on him when he made the impulsive decision and invited Shirabu to listen to his music. The same music he created for the man who sat on his bed, in his dorm, alone.
With his presence alone, Semi already thought of the words he could describe Shirabu at the moment, and possibly form it as a song in a day.
From the outfits the younger wears a daily, contrasting with his usually blunt personality— a soft jacket or sweater that swallows his frame, Semi tried his best to hold himself back from desperately wanting to hold him like he was glass, as he would whisper sweet words about how he is the prettiest.
His eyes were the key to understanding his unreadable emotions—- brows would furrow in concentration as he angles his set to Ushijima or Goshiki, or his eyes would soften whenever he saw a stray cat whenever he went out of the campus.
To the little subtle freckles on his face that you would’ve never noticed at first glance unless you took a close-up look whenever Shirabu does not apply any face powder to hide it.
Semi was sure that he had written about those three out of a hundred uncountable features of Shirabu more than four times already. He has yet to discover all of it yet, and he hoped to further know more.
Of course, Shirabu does not know the song he has written was about him nor does he have a clue it was about anyone in particular. The ash blonde was glad about it but also hoped for the younger to catch on to this hopeless romantic loop of a song. This would make the long-due confession finally happen if Shirabu were to reciprocate his feelings and take the bat to break the tension between them by being the one to confess first.
Maybe they could finally be boyfriends like what Semi has been hoping for since the beginning.
It wasn’t because Semi hated confrontation, hell he might as well be the impulsive one for confronting anyone who tried to mess with him or his friends (or even especially Shirabu).
This was more of the fear of losing his decently formed relationship with Shirabu
After the countless bickers and arguments since the day they met. Especially during the end of Semi’s second year, it took a lot of silent mending after a certain huge argument between them. It visibly took a toll on them despite it being with the person they claimed to dislike.
Dislike, not hate.
Semi does think hate is too much of a strong word for what he felt about Shirabu; and he hopes the other felt the same too, in the past. If Shirabu dislikes him now, then he would’ve broken down that his crush and muse for songwriting doesn’t like him.
At least lately through his observations, Shirabu has been tolerating him. Some may say Shirabu has some kind of favoritism and has softened up for him. However, he doubts anything that comes out of their mouths, he does not want his delusion to be fed by believing that the guy would like him back, only for that hope to be crushed when he gets rejected.
However, he could not help but notice the soft smiles and looks that Shirabu gave him whenever they were in the same room or in the same field of vision. Semi instinctively (for Shirabu only) smiled back at him, and if he got lucky, the guy would approach him to start a conversation which usually escalated to their coach having to scold them for not paying attention when they were called out.
It was as if the world would disappear around them whenever they interacted with one another, lately.
Again, Semi probably wrote a song about that, or at least a chorus or a bridge somewhere in his notebook.
Now where was Semi? Right, the decision was an impulse that the third year had to quickly think of because of his considerably clingy ass. He would not admit that, but he could not deny it either.
It started when Semi overheard the second year’s conversation that Shirabu needed a few stationeries for his project, and asked if Kawanishi could come along to help him carry the stuff. It just so happened that Semi needed a new math notebook as his previous one had run out of paper. The reasons being ¼ of it was actual math notes and equations, and the rest were doodles and song drafts that he had written during class.
So logically, Semi asked Shirabu to accompany him to the mall and help him with the supplies. Like any good upperclassman.
(He told himself as he does not acknowledge nor remember the time Kawanishi directly asked him, alongside others of the 3rd year, if any of them could drop him off at his parent’s house which was just in the same prefecture.
Yes, he was free at the time, but he was too busy looking at Shirabu’s new phone case which had little cats. Specifically, cats that had the same hair color as Semi’s, which is odd! Not that he noticed until Tendo pointed it out.
Either way, Yamagata volunteered even if it took them an hour to look for his car keys and another for his phone.)
With a bonus that the younger could catch a ride on Semi’s motorcycle, instead of having to walk or commute to the mall and back to the dorms. Not because he wanted to show off his driving abilities and how undeniably attractive he looked on a motorcycle like those guys in American thrill movies.
The conversation between him and Shirabu may or may not have gone like “Are you trying to copy those men in American thrill movies that own a motorcycle while wearing black leather jackets and sunglasses?” “Erm… no?”
Alright, maybe he wore a black leather jacket and had sunglasses that rested on top of his head as he waited for Shirabu by leaning against his motorcycle.
What if he’s trying to impress a guy? He’s trying his best!
Does the choice of clothing seem a little too over the top just to purchase stationary at the mall? Yes.
Was it a little too obvious that he was trying hard to impress the younger one? Yeah.
Did this at least make Shirabu a little distracted because of him? Which makes it worth it? Proudly, yes!
Either way, Semi has confirmed that the trip to the mall went great. Better than he had initially anticipated actually, because not only did they bond with one another and accomplish their errands, but Semi was able to take Shirabu out for lunch.
His underclassman had insisted on paying for his lunch, but Semi won as he paid for both of them. He said along the lines: “Let me take care of this, you can repay me next time by letting me take you out for another lunch or dinner.”
Which earned a flustered Shirabu who rolled his eyes and told him that was a “stupid repayment.” However, he does not refuse it and agrees to let him take him out to another meal, next time.
Next time . Semi could not help but feel giddy over that. He already searched for good food spots around or near their campus as he waited for Shirabu to use the bathroom. It may sound like a little too much like a date, but can you blame him?
He got sidetracked again.
They arrived back at the dorms, as promised, the older helped him carry his purchases to the second-year dorms. After Shirabu had thanked him and walked him out of his dorm room, there was this sense that neither of the two setters wanted to leave the other’s company.
Thus, the impulsive decision Semi made as he racked through the excuses he could make before Shirabu bid him goodbye and closed the door. It may sound dramatic, so bear with him.
“Do you want to go to my dorm and listen to my music?”
Shirabu blinked at him curiously as he held the door open once again. He looked like he wanted to ask something but he was not sure how to muster it up.
“Only if you want to! I just need someone’s opinion on my writing that isn’t the same two people who I always showed it to.” Those two people being Oohira and Tendo on some occasions “Plus Reon won’t be back until tomorrow, he is staying with his moms for the weekend.”
It was the longest 3 seconds that Semi had ever experienced in his lifetime as he waited for his response, “Just the two of us?” Shirabu asked sheepishly. He tried his best to maintain eye contact as heat crept up to his face.
Semi also felt color appear on his face, he smiled softly to the other “Yeah, just the two of us”
Then there they both were right now, in his room. He would never regret asking Shirabu to be here, but he felt like he was about to die as his heart rose, he looked at him for any sign of positive or negative reactions.
The ash blonde jumped a bit at the sudden chuckle Shirabu made after he placed down the piece of paper with the pile as he reached out for another. Semi made sure he only took the songs that didn’t have a specific description, as those would scream it was about the other.
“These are mostly love songs— I think all of these are love songs. Are you in love or something?” He teased playfully as he looked through the never-ending piles of lyrics and display of emotions that Semi had put on his work, “You’ve written so much too, how do you even find the inspiration to write these?”
He laughed at his astonishment then coughed onto his hand to calm himself down as Semi admitted “Not all of my songs are about love. It's just that whenever I write lyrics, I use my personal feelings;” Semi felt his palm sweat in nervousness, and he stared down the pile of papers on his bed.
It wasn’t even half of the songs he had created, as a few were discarded or the rest hidden in his drawer. Yet, he could confidently say that he would continue writing hundreds and thousands of songs about Shirabu only. “and lately, someone has been making me feel these emotions.” Semi’s face heated up as he looked at him as he said those words, which unfortunately went unnoticed by the other who continued to look away from him.
Shirabu nodded quietly, he placed back the paper in the pile as he silently thought of the words he was going to say, “Must be nice to have someone see you as their muse,” he sadly said in a shaky voice he tried his best to hide “how long have you been writing about them?”
“Since the end of my second year,”
If only Semi knew the pang Shirabu felt in his chest as it ached “Oh.”
Five seconds had passed as silence and tension filled the room, the upperclassman bit his lip then walked over to his desk and opened the drawer. It took him less than a minute to find the two pieces of paper he searched for as he took them out of the stack.
The younger looked at him in curiosity as watched as the older sat beside him and handed him one of the papers. This song was dated back to last year during the end of Shirabu’s 1st year. More specifically the day around the time when they had their huge argument.
He thought it must be some kind of coincidence, but Semi himself knew it was not. “This was the first song I had written about them, it wasn’t a love song yet they became the person who I wrote about almost every time I had a spark of inspiration.” He never planned to show Shirabu this piece, as it was painfully obvious that it was about their huge disagreement.
As much as he wanted to, he could not give the reason why he wanted to show it to him.
Shirabu read through the lyrics, and he was right, it wasn’t a love song. It was almost written like it was some breakup song, but if you read it carefully enough, it was obvious that Semi cared deeply for this person.
Not necessarily in a romantic sense, but in a way that this person was someone important to him and he had realized that throughout the song. Shirabu could not help but have this nagging feeling that these songs were possibly about him.
“Though if you are wondering when or what was the first love song about them, it was this one.” He then handed him the other paper.
It dated back two months after their argument, one month after they had decided to mend things.
“Whenever I look back at the song, I always get reminded of the feeling of falling for them again.” He said as he admired the focused eyes of Shirabu, who looked back at him with a sheepish expression.
“Can you.. can you sing this for me?” Shirabu mustered up the words he wanted to ask, as he handed the second paper back to Semi “Please?” He asked in a whisper, if Semi had not listened intently enough, he would’ve never caught it.
“Of course, I’ll sing it for you”
Semi tuned his guitar as he sat right in front of Shirabu who looked at him with a face of delight that he does not often see daily. He steadied his breathing, ignoring the beat of his heart that raised to the degree that he always felt when butterflies would flutter in his stomach.
Only with Shirabu had he felt this rush of strong emotions.
Content with the tune of his guitar, he briefly looked at the chords of the song before he began plucking the strings to form a melodic sound. Shirabu was in awe as he silently watched his upperclassman perform a personal performance just for him and only between them.
“Time’s moving so much slower lately,”
Shirabu has been to a few karaoke places with the team, and has listened to Semi sing with overly loud and low-quality microphones countless times, he continued to sound amazing.
“ It’s like the world is playin’ a joke.”
He could never get enough of it and could never ignore the tug of emotions his heartfelt whenever it happened.
“Laughing at me for falling foolishly again, but something’s different…”
Semi continued to smoothly strum on his guitar , he looked up at Shirabu as if he hung the moon and stars.
“…with you”
Shirabu’s face is dusted with the color red, Semi sang the song as if these were the words he wanted to tell him since the beginning.
“Traffic on sunset doesn’t phase me, I’m just usually composed”
He smiled at the memory of the first time Shirabu rode on his motorcycle with him. His arms were wrapped tightly around his torso, in fear of falling off the vehicle. Without realizing the effect he has on Semi, his face was practically heated as he tried to compose himself and focused on the road.
“That is until I touch you and I can’t pretend. I lose myself, I do.”
At the time, Semi did not know why he felt so flustered over it. He couldn’t understand why he longed for that embrace once more, and many more. Not from just anyone, but only Shirabu himself.
“I’m all in, I’m fallin’, Can’t get back up”
That was until one day it hit him. It was something he could never forget despite it not being such a huge moment, it was simply when Shirabu cleaned out the scratch on Semi’s palm when he fell off the sidewalk.
He may have laughed at him for a short while, but the way Shirabu held his hand and cleaned the dirt off his wound was gentle and caring.
“Can’t think straight, too tongue-tied”
Semi was an absolute stuttering mess when Shirabu asked if he was okay while he placed the ointment on the wound.
That was when he realized he had taken a liking for the guy. He couldn’t even deny himself even if he wanted to, he couldn’t lie to himself.
“It must be love”
Semi heavily breathed at that lyric, he looked at Shirabu with the hope of these feelings to be returned.
“Friends asking me where I’ve been hiding”
Just right after that day, his friends immediately knew he was hiding something or had a realization that he to acting oddly. Way he frequently asked where Shirabu was; the first one to approach the setter with a towel and water bottle during time outs in practice; wrapping the bandages around his fingers for him.
It was funny as if he was obsessed with him, which Tendo joked about. Though Yamagata defended him and just said he was just a smitten guy. Neither helped him either way.
“I’m losing hours in your eyes”
It was when they had caught Semi staring at Shirabu from a distance during lunchtime. Surprisingly, it was Ushijima who had pointed him out for looking at their setter oddly longer than anyone normally would, it practically exposed the secret he planned to hide from them.
“Lost in your wonderland, I hope I’m never found”
They teased him relentlessly and he couldn’t catch a break even until now, but it did not stop him from wanting to be in a little bubble with just him and Shirabu in their little world as they enjoyed one another’s company.
“There’s no one else around, tonight”
Semi continued to admire the setter in front of him, who also looked back at him with fondness. Shirabu shifted a little closer to him and the ash blonde did the same as he leaned a bit more towards him.
“I’m not so used to being happy, now I just float down every street”
He couldn’t help but smile and feel so giddy at the moment they were having. As the other also returned a small smile, he could kiss those lips right now.
“You made a sappy stupid something out of me, the kind I swore I’d never be”
There was a rule that Semi set himself when he learned to write love songs, it was to never have a muse that was a real person. He knew it would be painful once it ended, he had relationships before, it did not work out as it was intended, and previous songs were scraped and thrown into the trash.
He did not want to make so much effort for someone, only for them to hurt him and throw all his efforts away. So he kept that promise that was until Shirabu ruined that rule.
“I’m awake inside a dream..”
After countless unreleased lyrics and bickers, here he was singing his heart out to him. If it were possible, he could build a whole palace of poetry and lyrics for him.
“I’m all in, I’m fallin’, Can’t get back up. Can’t think right, too tongue-tied”
Shirabu shifted closer to him, as they both ignored the mess of papers on the bed that fell off one another. They both leaned towards one another, the younger bit his lips never breaking gaze.
“Come kiss me, convince me…”
Semi felt a cold hand to cup his cheek, which Shirabu placed to pull him closer to his face. He swallows in anticipation as he reaches the end of the song.
“This must be, this must love”
Before Semi knew it, soft lips were pressed against his own. He could tell it was Shirabu’s first as it was a chaste kiss, but it was the best one that Semi could ever ask for as it was solely with him.
As they pulled away, both of their faces were flushed and hearts raised faster than ever. Semi licked his lips and tasted the chapstick Shirabu wore before hand.
He wanted more, he wished for more.
Setting his guitar down. Pulling Shirabu by his waist, onto his lap. Maybe this was how Semi was going to die after realizing he has his arms wrapped around him. With the younger’s hand seemingly to automatically placed on his shoulders. He was closer to him than he ever had before, that only in his dreams could imagine this opportunity. It’s a reality now for the both of them.
“Semi-san…” Shirabu called him out, he did not realize how long he had been staring, it was only now he notices how Shirabu’s face was completely red, embarrassed at the position they were. The fact their faces were just inches away.
Semi hummed as he wrapped his arms around his waist to pull him close, as Shirabu wrapped his around his neck “Call me Eita, Kenjirō” he whispered.
Before letting him respond, he pulled him back into a kiss. This time, a lot more passionate and deeper. Making sure when he took the lead to not overwhelm the other, slowing down when he couldn’t keep up.
He softly bit his bottom lip and pulled him even closer so that their chests were both pressed up against one another. Semi’s hands slowly wandered below his waist. One of his hands reaching under the other’s shirt from behind, feeling the warmth of his love’s soft skin. The other hand travelled further down onto one of the thighs wrapped around his waist, giving it a light squeeze which caused the other to let out a sound that he was definitely not protesting to the touch.
This lead to one of Shirabu’s hands gliding from his shoulders, onto his chest, until he reached to the hem of the shirt to also have a hold of his bearskin under the fabric. With him being on the lap, it was more comfortable for Shirabu to reach further up under the shirt, stopping his hand on the side of his torso, in the level just below his chest. Semi does not deny his hands going that far, but he has to restrain himself from keeping his own hands to himself from traveling down, not under Shirabu’s shirt but rather bottom.
They pulled away once more as they tried their best to catch their breaths and their heated up flushed faces. Semi pulls his hand away from under the shirt to bring it to the younger’s face, but continuing to leave the other one on Shirabu’s thigh. Using his thumb to press it against the other’s soft lips he just kissed, it was a light shade of red and slightly more plump because of him.
Once again with those eyes, those darn eyes that looked at Semi as if he was seeking for more of his affection. Eita wished to admire them every morning whenever he woke up, and every night whenever they drifted to sleep. Those eyes looked at him with the same love and adoration that he would gladly return back to him.
Not enough words could describe the emotions he felt at that moment, not enough for the man that he fell in love with. It was okay, he had all the time in the world to do that, if Shirabu would let him.