Chapter Text
Lucifer still remembered the first time he saw a soul.
Back then, he still held the role of Morning Bringer, tasked with making the sun rise every day. It was a privileged position given to him as God’s most favored angel. And then the mortals ate the fruit of good and evil.
Upon having committed this act of disobedience, this deed that was so unheard of at the time, it didn’t even have a name, the two mortals were thrown out of Paradise, and forced to labor on Earth until their death.
Decades later, Lucifer held Adam’s soul in his hands.
“This is a mortal soul,” his supervisor explained, his nasally, nagging voice never failing to make Lucifer’s entire body tense with discomfort. “Now that God has made the sun stationary and put the Earth in its orbit, you shall have a different task.”
“And it involves souls?” Lucifer observed the little thing; it was light blue, like him, except for a small pink heart on the chest. It glowed and pulsed with life and power, despite having shed its mortal coil.
“Yes, that is correct,” his supervisor adjusted his glasses before continuing. “Only those free of sin can enter Heaven. And by extension, those who are not, can’t. As such, they will have to be erased.”
“What do you mean ‘erased’?” a feeling dread started spreading through his body as she stared at his supervisor. Out of his peripheral, he could see Adam’s soul starting to panic and try to escape his grip.
“Exactly what it sounds like. That will be your job from now on. You should feel honored.”
“B-but surely that can’t be the only solution!” he protested, pleading for some kind of sanity. “I mean… there has to be another way! Maybe you could put the sinful souls someplace else, or send them back to Earth for a second chance!”
“We are expecting the number of sinful souls to be quite a lot larger than those that are sin free; there simply is no place to put them all. And there is no evidence that giving them new life would result in something different. So why do that, and rob a potential sin free soul of a chance at life?”
“I… I refuse to believe that.”
“Refuse as you may, this will still be your job from now on. I suggest you get used to it. But it should please you to know that God does have a plan to eventually save those riddled with the sin.”
That ended up being a great exaggeration.
Not only did Lucifer have to live through a near genocide of mortals when God decided to drown the Earth, but the actual solution God had, was to create a savior of humanity that would pardon their sin, but only if they submitted to God.
Lucifer loved his Father, and knew that He was wise and just, but he simply could not understand the method in this madness. And that was what convinced him to finally petition his own alternative.
“Duh, how did it go?” his Helper asked him as he left his audience with God.
“Good,” Lucifer spun his pitchfork, readying it. “Father was willing to let me try my plan. And you get to come with me to Earth!”
“Daw yes! It’s gonna be so much fun!” Helper bounced up and down in pure joy.
“Ohoho, this isn’t about fun. This is about proving mortals deserve a second chance!” with that, Lucifer slammed his pitchfork into the clouds, teleporting the two of them to a forested area on Earth.
“Duh, where are we?” Helper looked around, his eyebrows furrowing in worry.
“This is a little place called The Inkwell Isles. The perfect place for our trial run! Now, all we have to do is find some sinful mortals and convince them to change their ways!”
“Okay, but I meant, uh, where exactly are we? I can’t see any mortals around.”
Lucifer paused and took a look around himself. Maybe he should’ve been a bit more specific with where he teleported, but he had just been so excited, it had completely slipped his mind.
“Uh, well,” Lucifer let out a small cough and took another, slower, look around the immediate area. “We’ll just… wait for some good Samaritans to come and help us!”
A handful of seconds that felt like an eternity passed. He could see on Helper’s face that he was about to interject with a suggestion, when luck would have it, he was interrupted by the sound of a passing conversation.
“Boy, was he steamed.”
“Eh, I ain’t too worried about it.”
“Helper!” Lucifer exclaimed, picking up and shaking his assistant like a birthday gift. “We found some mortals! And it sounds like they need help!”
After dropping him to the ground, Lucifer took off in the direction of the two voices. He quickly located the source; two small mortals walking down a road in the forest.
“You know, that should’ve worked,” said the cup to his more mug-like companion. “If only I used a little less gunpowder… Hmm…”
“Greetings mortals!” Lucifer announced as he teleported in front of them with a poof of glittery, white clouds that quickly dissipated in the air. The duo stopped in their tracks and stared at him. “Be not afraid, for I am Lucifer Morningstar, an angel of the lord-” he paused when he realized that the two boys had walked past him. “Hey!”
With another hit of his pitchfork to the ground, he teleported in front of them again.
“Perhaps you didn’t hear me,” he chuckled and bent down to better look them in the eye. “I am here to make sure you mortals take the right road in life, so you can go to Heaven when you die.”
“Eh, that’s still a long ways off,” the cup shrugged and made to leave, only for Lucifer to block him with his pitchfork.
“You don’t know that!” he warned. “Something could happen to you at any moment, and then it would be too late!”
“Are you gonna kill us?” the mug one asked, his voice barely a whisper.
“What?! No! Like I said, I’m here to help! So! What seems to be the issue?” stabbing his pitchfork into the ground, Lucifer was able to rest his hands and head on it, giving the two boys his full attention.
“Well, Elder Kettle asked us to paint the fence today,” the mug began to explain.
“And it always takes forever!” the cup elaborated with a long groan. “So I figured out a way we could speed it up-”
“By blowing it up, with a canon,” the mug interrupted, giving his brother a pointed look.
“Eh, banana oil! I still think it would have worked with a little less gunpowder.”
“So now we’re on our way to buy more paint, since Cuphead blew up the paint we had.”
“I see,” Lucifer smiled and rose to his full height. “It seems like you boys made a mistake. BUT! You can not only learn from it, but you’re trying to fix the damage you caused. It seems like you’re on the right track and won’t be needing my help.”
“Okay, bye,” the one called Cuphead said with a shrug, muttering a quiet “weirdo” as he and his brother passed Lucifer.
“Duh, master?” Lucifer’s smile turned into a frown as Helper flew over, calling him by another unfitting title.
“Not that one either,” Lucifer dismissed. This had been a consistent problem ever since Helper was made to assist him; he wouldn’t call Lucifer by name, which was fair, but he couldn’t find a suitable replacement.
“Oh, well, anyway, did you ask them for directions?”
Lucifer paused as the realization struck him.
Without answering Helper, he rushed after the two brothers, hoping to catch them and quickly ask them where the nearest city or town was located.
Instead, he caught them right as they walked past what looked like a shop.
“What are they doing?” Lucifer frowned, grabbing Helper as the pink fluff ball caught up to him. “They were supposed to go buy paint!”
“Duh, maybe they’re outta paint?” Helper suggested before being dropped to the ground by Lucifer.
He quickly rushed inside, spotting a pig doing crosswords at a wooden desk.
“Do you have any paint?”
The pig gave him a bored glance. He threw the crosswords book on the desk, with a hard flick of his wrist, and slowly rose to his feet, audibly popping his back in the process.
“What kind of paint you want?” he asked, his finger tapping on the desk, slowly getting faster and faster.
“Oh you misunderstand,” Lucifer put up his hands apologetically, attempting to placate the man with a friendly smile. “I merely wanted to know if those cup children went in here-”
“If they did, they wouldn’t have left,” came the grumbled reply. “Now, are you actually gonna buy somethin’, or are you just gonna waste my time?”
“Tsk, how rude,” he tutted with a frown. Sticking his nose up at the pig, he turned around in a quick, smooth motion, and marched out of the store. “People around here clearly need my help more than I realized.”
“Did you ask the clerk for directions?” Helper anxiously fiddled with his fingers while waiting for the answer.
“No, and I don’t think that ‘gentleman’ would be of much help to us,” Lucifer said loudly enough that the subject of their conversation could hopefully hear it. “The important part is, that you were wrong and the children didn’t go inside the shop. They are shirking their responsibility. Why, I do not know. But we shall make sure they do the right thing!”
Grabbing Helper once more, Lucifer triumphantly held his pitchfork in the air, before he began to flap his wings and ascended into the air.
Flying above the treetops, he began to scout for the two brothers, certain that even with the head start, they couldn’t have gone too far.
Eventually, as they approached the ocean surrounding the isles, he finally spotted them heading over a bridge to the next isle.
Landing in front of them, Lucifer spread his wings to their full size as he gazed down at the boys.
“And what, pray tell, do you think you’re doing?”
“We, uh, were just… going to…” the mug one trailed off into mumbling as he looked anywhere but at Lucifer.
“We were going to the amusement park,” Cuphead explained, as his brother gave him a perturbed look.
“You said you were going to buy paint, so you could paint the fence, like you were supposed to,” Lucifer pointed an accusatory finger at the two.
“Hey, the fence’ll still be there when we get back!” he smacked the finger away, pointing his own in retaliation. “We deserve to have a little fun and adventure, and there’s nothing you can do to stop us.”
Lucifer paused as he realized the boy was correct. It wasn’t like he could just resort to violence or force. Still, it was evident that these boys were headed in the wrong direction in life, and it was his job- no, his sacred duty, to save their souls!
“I’m not leaving until you two go home and paint that fence.”
“If you want the fence painted so bad, you do it,” came the retort, as Cuphead grabbed his brother and duck under Lucifer’s wing.
“Hey! Get back here!”
Chasing the two cups into the amusement park, Lucifer lost sight of them quickly.
Flying into the air, he scanned the crowd. He tried his best to spot any splash of red and blue among the colorful residents of the isles.
He was beginning to lose courage, until he saw the two straws, like shark fins in this sea of people, moving towards a roller coaster.
Not giving Helper a chance to catch up, he landed near the line, only for the cups to spot him.
After a scared fingerpoint, the two began to cut in line to get away from him, pushing and bumping into the other patrons.
Lucifer couldn’t believe the rudeness on display; not only were they continuing to run away, but now they were cutting in line?
Ascending once more, he saw them jump into the ride just as it took off. Flying over to the first hill, he readied his pitchfork.
Just as the coaster made it over and gravity took over, Lucifer used the pitchfork’s magic to grab the two boys, sliding them out of their restraints as the coaster made its descend.
“I don’t even think your tall enough for that ride,” Lucifer jabbed another finger at the boys. The blue one looked scared and was fidgeting around, like he had trouble balancing in the air. The red one looked angry and stuck his tongue out at Lucifer.
He let out an offended gasp, but then began to smirk.
Flying back down to the ground, he ceased the spell just before placing the kids on the ground, resulting in them dropping unceremoniously on the floor; it wasn’t enough to hurt them, but Lucifer felt they deserved just a little punishment.
“Now, if you got all that out of your system, how about we go back home and paint the fence?”
“We haven’t even gotten on a single ride yet!” Cuphead protested as he picked himself and his brother off the ground.
“And you’re not going to! If you keep lollygagging about, the shop will close before you have any chance to buy the paint.”
“That’s actually a good point, Cuphead.”
“Mugman! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Cuphead grumbled and pushed his brother.
“Well, we wouldn’t even be in this mess, if you hadn’t blown up the fence!” Mugman retaliated with a push of his own.
“Boys! Boys!” Lucifer shouted as the boys began to fight. “This doesn’t solve anything!”
But his words fell on deaf ears. The two boys just kept fighting.
Tears began to appear in the corner of Lucifer’s eyes; it had never been his intention to ruin the brothers’ relationship.
As the fight escalated, more and more people were accidentally bumped into or otherwise disturbed, eventually reaching the point where the boys knocked an elephant over, who in turn rolled into a stand, which broke apart, sending a baseball flying, hitting Lucifer in the head and knocking him to the ground.
After being dazed for an unknown amount of time, Lucifer came to when Helper, who had finally found him again, helped him to his feet.
“Duh, are you okay?”
“Yes, I think I’m fine,” he rubbed the sore spot on his forehead where the ball had hit. “Where are the cups?”
“Uhh, I don’t know…” Helper confessed, trying to make himself appear as small as possible.
“Great,” Lucifer groaned and let out a sigh. “They could be anywhere by now. Well, hopefully they reconciled and realized how stupid their little fight was, and then went home to paint the fence. Yes, that’s what must have happened! They heeded my lesson and did the right thing.” he nodded to himself, satisfied with the lie.
“So… did you ever ask them for directions, or…?”
Lucifer’s eyes widened in realization, and he had to bite his tongue to avoid letting out a swear.