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Drunk

Summary:

Things go wrong when the Jonin treat their genin teams to Yakiniku. Action. Comedy. Laughs. Drunk Metal. Subtle BoruSara.

Notes:

This is one of my favorites from when I first started writing fanfiction. I hope you enjoy :D

Work Text:

Konohamaru clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. "Well then! In celebration of your first month of successful missions, tonight your teachers will treat you to barbeque!" 

"I wish it was Thunder Burger..."

"Boruto!" A sharp elbow pierced his ribs. 

He casually brushed Sarada's nitpicky self off and started towards the table. "Yeah yeah. Let's eat, Konohamaru sensei!" 

Tears ran like waterfalls from Konohamaru's eyes. "He finally," he said sniffling, "he finally called me sensei!" 

It wasn't just team seven; nearly every team from Boruto's graduating class was present, all seated at one long table. The only exceptions were Sumire who was in the labs with Katasuke, and Sai's team. Sumire was usually invited to class reunions with the exception of celebrations particularly involving their ninja achievements, but Sai decided to treat his team in a different manner as so not to trouble the restaurant staff with too large of a group.

"What do you say," Moegi said with a smirk, eyeing the menu. "Should we go with the extra spicy chicken for old times sake? We could include the kids in an endurance test..." 

"Oh! Good idea, Moegi nee-chan!" Boruto pumped his fist in the air. "Spicy food for everyone!" 

"Eh? I'm bad with spicy foods," Namida whined, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "Do we really have to eat them?"

Wasabi threw an arm around her shoulders. "I'll eat your share so you don't have to, Namida!" 

"I'm not opposed to the idea," said Tsubaki. "Spice tolerance is something that one must build up to make them a stronger warrior."

"Mm." Iwabe looked off to the side with a sweat drop next to his head wrap. "Spicy. Sure. I can handle that." 

With a few more comments, Moegi waved the waitress over. "Miss! One order of ghost pepper chicken skewers for everyone! And sake for the adults!" 

"Cruel as ever, aren't you Moegi..." Konohamaru sighed. "Oh well. It'll be a memory for everyone, I guess." 

It wasn't too long before there was one fiery red chicken skewer in front of everyone, each kid staring wide-eyed at their plate. 

"Alright guys... On the count of three!" Boruto picked up his skewer. "One..." 

The rest of the kids picked it up. "Two..."

"Three!" 

Everyone, with the exception of Namida, slid off the first piece of chicken with their teeth and chewed. Some didn't even make it to the chewing.

"HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT" 

They reached for the nearest available drink. But then they realized. Waters hadn't made it to the table. 

Sarada's eyes fell on the teacher's alcohol. As did Cho-Cho's. And Wasabi's. Metal simply grabbed the nearest cup and threw his head back. 

"Hm? This drink has oddly soothed my tongue!"

And that's when the other three decided to follow his example. 

"Oi! Sarada! That's dirty! Save me some!" Boruto fanned his mouth, his vision blurred with tears as he reached over her for the cup. But it was too late. 

All four students had knocked back an entire shot of sake. Without any previous exposure to alcohol. And the rest of the table was choking on spice. 

"Water!" Someone called out. "Water! Please! Waiter! We need water!" 

Before long, the rest of the kids had water. But Sarada, Metal, Cho-Cho, and Wasabi had already cleared the spice from their mouth. 

"Phew," said Wasabi, wiping the sweat off of her head. "I don't think I can finish this. Sorry Moegi sensei... Hm?" Her head tilted to the side. "What is this lightheaded feeling?" 

Konohamaru slid one hand down his face. "It'll certainly be a memory alright... Udon! Get Metal out of here!" 

"Huh? Why?" 

"Because he--"

Metal stood to his feet, arms dangling limply from his sides. "I am..." 

"Oh no."

"I AM NO LONGER NERVOUS!" In one swift axe kick, the table was smashed in half. "LOOK AT ME NOW, PAPA!"

"Now now Metal," Konohamaru's palms faced towards the drunken child as the other children screamed, "calm down--"

"Calm down?" His head tilted. "You want me to calm down? I AM CALM! I'M CALMER THAN I'VE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! THE POWER OF YOUTH!" He smashed through the wall. "THE POWER OF YOUTH!" He lifted up one half of the broken table. "THE POWER OF--"

His arms were restrained by Udon and Konohamaru, who were both struggling against him, trying to make him drop the table before he could cause any more damage to the restaurant. "Moegi! Assistance!"

She cast a concerned glance in Wasabi's direction before standing up to help the boys. "Jeez! You both are so helpless!"

"Leave the rest of the kids to me," said Hanabi as she stood to her feet. "Just get Metal home before we end up spending all of our savings on repairs!" 

"On it!" The former team of three dragged Metal through the hole he had created, leaving Hanabi to return to the destroyed table and worried kids. 

"Washabi!" Cho-Cho slurred as she pointed a chubby finger. 

Wasabi's head tilted back, darkness shading her wide yellow eyes. "Huh? Whaddya want?!" 

"Your face looks funny!" She bust out laughing, holding her stomach. 

"Oh yeah?!" She leapt over the table and picked up Cho-Cho by the collar. "I don't wanna hear that from you little miss chubby!" 

The comment only made Cho-Cho laugh harder, causing Wasabi to drop her and chose a new target for her wrath.

"Inojin!" Cho-Cho crawled up to him and studied his face carefully before bursting into another fit of laughter. "You have no pupils!" 

"What the--?! Chubs!" 

"Shikadai!" She pointed at him, laughing with glee. "Your head looks like a pineapple!" 

"What a drag... Oi, Inojin, do something about Cho-Cho, will you?"

Inojin lifted up his arms in self defense. "Me?! Can't you figure out some sort of strategy to make her surrender? I don't know what to do with this!" 

"Inojin is a pretty girl..." She started giggling, her hand reaching up to play with the ends of his ponytail.

Inojin groaned in antagonized response. "Don't bring back memories of mom putting me in dresses as a kid!"

Meanwhile, Wasabi had stood to her feet and turned to the first person her eyes met after being insulted. "Iwabe!"

"W-What?"

"Kneel."

"Huh?!"

"I said!" She stomped her foot and hovered menacingly over him. "Kneel before me, you coward!" 

"Who the heck would--"

In seconds, she had Denki's neck in her grasp. "If you don't, I'll put an end to his life."

"WHAT THE--" 

"Iwabe-kun," said Denki, clawing at his captured throat, "I can't breath..."

His eyes darted from the table, back to Wasabi, back to Denki. "Darn it Denki, you owe me for this!" He slammed his head down on the floor. "I'm kneeling, stupid cat woman! Release Denki!" 

"Fine... Both of you, kneel!"

The moment Denki was released, he was on his knees. Wasabi's foot stepped hard onto his back as she cackled, her nails turning into claws. 

Hanabi viewed the situation with her byakugan before taking a deep breath. "I think my only option is to knock them out... Oi, Boruto! Is Sarada ok?" 

Boruto watched as Sarada pouted, her eyes on her chopstick. She poked the end with her index finger, hair shielding her face. 

"I don't really know... She's not... normal?"

"Try talking to her."

He gulped, hoping she wasn't going to be anything like the other three. "Hey... Sarada..."

She flopped her forehead onto his shoulder. "Borutoooo..."

"W-What?" 

"Why... Why didn't my chopsticks break evenlyyy..." 

"Are you... crying?!" 

She only continued to bawl, her fingers digging into the front of his jacket, the chopstick clenched in her hand. 

"Oi! Sarada-ttebasa!" 

Her head lifted, only to flop back against his shoulder, over and over again like she was trying to bang her head. "Why," she whimpered, "why did I have to mess them up?" 

"S...Sarada? That kinda hurts, ya know--" 

"Boruto.... I'm a failure at lifffeeee!" 

He blinked a few times, slowly reaching up to pat her back. "I don't think she's ok, Hanabi nee-chan!" 

"Dang it... I can only carry two. If I knock her out, will you and Mitsuki take her home?"

"K-knock her out?!" 

"If I don't, she's just going to cry!" 

Boruto looked down but all he could see was Sarada's hair as she sobbed into his shirt. "I don't think you need to go as far as--"

"I SAID KNEEL!"

"WE ARE KNEELING!"

"Chubs, quit touching my hair!!" 

"But it's sooo sofffttt!" Her fist enlarged. "I wonder what would happen if you became a pancake? Hehe... Inojin pancakes." 

"CHUBS!"

"Or maybe knocking them out would be best..." Boruto tried prying Sarada away from him but she had a death grip on his shirt. "Oi. Let go, we gotta go home."

"I don't wanna!" She whined. "Borutoooo!"

His face went deadpan. "Seriously. Mitsuki, a little help?"

Mitsuki extended his arms to pry her away, but Sarada only wrapped herself around Boruto like a koala. "Hm... Shall I knock her out?"

"No no no, wait. What if you miss? Sarada can be real scary when she's angry... My life might be in danger. What the-- Don't blow your nose into my neck!!"

Mitsuki smiled. "Then it looks like your only option is to find a way to carry her."

Boruto narrowed his eyes. "Fine... Sarada. Let me go for a sec. I'll put you on my back--"

"Mm!" 

"Oi!" He wheezed out of a pinched windpipe. "Don't crush me to death-ttebasa!"

"Should I pick you both up at once?" Mitsuki offered.

"I don't think that'll fix the problem."

She curled closer and started whimpering about something else. Boruto decided the best way to fix this was to stand up and hope his shirt didn't rip. Thankfully, Sarada clung to him and made it easy enough to scoop her up like a toddler.

"I'm not letting you live this down once you snap out of it... Come on Mitsuki, let's get out of here." 

Two swift chops later, Hanabi had knocked both Wasabi and Cho-Cho out.

"Oi," said Shikadai, staring up at Hanabi. "You know how heavy Cho-Cho is, don't you? You sure you can handle her and Wasabi?" 

"It shouldn't be a problem," said Hanabi, picking up Cho-Cho with one arm. Or rather, attempting to. "...Iwabe."

"I'M NOT TAKING WASABI HOME!"

"...Please? I underestimated Cho-Cho's weight... Namida can't take her on her own, and these two have to tell me where Cho-Cho lives and save me from the potential wrath of her parents."

"Come on, Iwabe-kun," said Denki, "It shouldn't be that bad... Her house isn't too far from here, remember?" 

"Ugh, fine." He threw Wasabi over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "You owe me a burger for this later, Hanabi-sensei."

"Consider it bought." With a smile, she left some money for the tab and carried Cho-Cho out of the restaurant through the hole Metal created, leaving a flabbergasted restaurant staff. 

.  .  .

"Well, my house is this way."

"Mitsuki! You're just going to abandon me with this?" 

Mitsuki smiled. "Get her home safely, Boruto!" 

"You traitor! Get back here! I don't want to be the only one listening to--"

"Boruto hates meee!" Sarada sobbed, this time into his back. She'd whined that she wanted to be put down, then immediately after she took her first step, she kicked a rock. That caused another outburst of crying, so Boruto bent down and offered her his back, which was decidedly a much better way to carry her than whatever haphazard way he'd been walking with a Sarada cling-on before.

"My chopstick broke! I put on the wrong shoes yesterday..." 

"Oi, Sarada... It's ok, so can you please stop crying? Breaking wooden chopsticks unevenly isn't the end of the world, ya know..."

Her feet dangled limply as he walked towards her house. "I can't be strong like Mama... And my eyes aren't nearly as good as Papa's... I'll never be strong enough to be hokage!" She whimpered, burring her glassesless eyes into Boruto's back. 

He would've felt bad for her if she didn't immediately blow her nose into his jacket again. He shivered. So gross.

"Boruto hates me..."

He sighed. "I don't hate you." 

"He hattesss meee!"

"I said I don't hate you! Get a grip! Jeez. We're almost to your house. And why does that bother you in the first place?!"

She lifted her head and peered over at him. "You don't hate me?"

Boruto's face heated at the sudden proximity of her voice to his ear. "Not entirely."

"Then..." She smiled for the first time since drinking that dumb stuff. "Do you like me?"

He froze. "Huh?!" 

"If you don't hate me, do you like me?" 

"How does that put you in a better mood?!" 

"Yayyy Boruto likes me!" 

"And how did you come to that conclusion!?!?!?!" He began jogging towards her house. "If this is what you were going to turn into, I should have had Hanabi nee-chan knock you out..." 

She sniffled. 

Oh no. 

"You hate me?" 

"I already said, I don't hate you!" 

Suddenly, he caught sight of his savior on their way home from work. "Sakura oba-san!" 

"Hm? Boruto? What happened to Sarada?!" 

"She drank some sake at the BBQ place after eating a piece of chicken covered in ghost pepper... And now she's making up nonsense and won't stop crying!" 

"I see..." Sakura smiled gently at her sniffling daughter and reached out. "I'll take her from--"

"No." Sarada buried her head back into the collar of his tearstained jacket. 

"..."

"I want Boruto to take me." She swung her legs like a small child. 

"Why?!" 

"Mm!"

Sakura's laughter filled the space around them as she gently relieved Boruto of his duty by lifting her daughter off of his back. "Now now," she said, prying Sarada's clenched fists away from his jacket. "Boruto has to go home too. His mom will get angry if he's not home soon."

Sarada stopped wailing at the mention of the emotion. "Angry?"

"Yes. Angry." 

Sarada's facial features crumbled as Sakura picked her up and held her against her chest, soothingly running her hand over her hair like a small child. Her smile was gentle, a smile that Boruto didn't get to see often because she was so used to Sakura yelling at him for doing nonsensical things. It reminded him of how Sarada smiled sometimes at things that weren't him. And for some reason, it made him a little embarrassed.

"I dun wan Auntie Hinata to be angry," said Sarada, leaning her head into her mom's neck.

"Good girl." Sakura turned away. "Let's go home." 

"Careful that she doesn't use you like a tissue!"

Just then, Sarada blew her nose. But Sakura didn't flinch. Must've been the power of being a mother. Boruto already wanted to burn his jacket and buy a new one. 

Sarada held out her hand over her shoulder towards Boruto and opened and closed her fist. "Bye bye, Boruto."

He threw up his hand over his shoulder. "See ya, Sarada." 

 

.  .  .

The next morning, the four in question woke up with searing headaches. The teachers visited and apologized profusely to the parents, explaining what had happened. Because Hanabi paid the restaurant bill, she got left out of the repair fee. 

Wasabi tried to apologize to Iwabe for throwing up on him, but he hid behind Metal and told her to get back. 

Cho-Cho's memories were fuzzy, but Shikadai filled her in. As he was talking, she reached up and rubbed Inojin's head with her hand (much to his horror), deciding that his hair was, after all, quite soft like a girl's, and proceeded to ask him about what hair products he was using. 

Metal apologized profusely to the restaurant staff, and from that day on, he became even more nervous. 

And Sarada's memory had been completely wiped. Boruto decided to tell her she hadn't done anything weird. But when she found out from Sakura what had actually happened, she couldn't look Boruto in the eyes for a week, much to Mitsuki's amusement.