Work Text:
You always had that haunted look in your eyes,
when you told me all your sorrows,
and when your screams echoed out at night.
When your hands shook as you ate your breakfast,
not seeing me across from you,
concern in my own eyes.
I've always wondered;
what bothers you so?
You're silent on the matter.
Your eyes drift away and your hands shake more.
You don't sleep well at night, I know.
I'm always there for you, I try to make sure you know.
I'm not sure whether you do.
Your smile always seems shaky, more shaky than your hands.
I always try to still them whenever it gets bad.
You always flinch away.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't think you trust me anymore, not like how you used to.
You don't let me hug you goodbye anymore.
I don't even ask you what's wrong anymore.
Because what's wrong is everything.
I can't figure it out,
what I've done wrong,
where I've misstepped.
You awkwardly laugh away my unspoken concern,
so I never know.
I don't see you anymore.
You stalk the corridors at night, with a caution you never had before.
You don't let me catch any glimpse of you, not even if I wait.
So I don't wait anymore.
I still try to show I care though.
A lunch with a smile drawn onto it only seems to freak you out though.
Not like how it used to make you smile as wide as the doodle.
Now it only strikes terror into your eyes and makes you almost drop it
as your hands start to shake again.
You drift away from me, like a ship lost at sea.
A sea of screams and terror and despair and mistrust.
I can't do anything about it.
Not that I try anymore.
You leave as soon as you can.
I don't ever see you again.
I never learn what happened,
what gave you such a life of suffering,
when I only tried to give you the best.
A failure of a brother is all I am, I find.
(I don't think you ever wanted me as your brother.)