Work Text:
I'm angry and I hate it
But I can't control it, I swear I have tried to, i just can't...
I see you hurt, can't do anything about it, just look at you in the distance before going to focus on something else to avoid the need to go to your side and hug you close to comfort you from the pain of the world around you.
I hate seeing you hurt, I hate seeing you sad, I hate seeing you suffer because of someone else. But then... if I hate that then why do I hurt you? Why do I want to... Hit you so hard?
Maybe it's your stupid smile? Or maybe just your annoying voice... Those aren't reasonable reasons tho... It's stupid, I should care for you and not hurt you but-... I guess I fail on that too.
I hope you don't hate me as much as I think you do, wouldn't blame you if you did tho, it's only fair i guess.
I see you from across the room reading your comic, I never really cared what you read but right now I wish I did, maybe we could talk about comic books and maybe that would make our relationship better? No... That's stupid, comic books aren't enough.
-Raph?-
I look up from my own comic book towards you, your stupid big baby blue eyes look back at me as you tilt your head slightly to the side in a sight of curiosity. You look concerned and stupid like always... I just want to punch you so hard that'll youll-
- Are you okay big bro? You're giving me the creeps dude...-
- I'm fine, mind your own business.-
I respond in a bitter tone going back to my comic book, I hit myself in my head thinking how stupid I was, why am I like this? Why am I so... Angry? I don't want to be like this, but I am.
I'm not able to see your concern nor your sad expression as I push you away like I've always done.