Chapter Text
Naruto knew from a young age that he was special. He was different than all the other children at the orphanage. He always had been. Even in his earliest memories he recalled how the caretakers where talking differently to him, they where looking differently at him, and they where doing things differently for him.
Whenever there came visitors to the house. All the children would be asked to gather in the big room. They had to brush their hair and dress in clean clothes. Or at least the other kids had to. One of the caretakers would always take him aside as was clumsily trying to brush his hair. They would take the brush and hand it to another child before leading the boy into another room where he was asked to stay until the visitors where gone. Naruto never understood why that was. The voices of the visitors always sounded very nice. Sometimes he could steal little glimpses at them. They where often pairs of adults who visited.
They talked to the caretakers, they talked to the children. Sometimes they would leave and take one of them with them. Naruto didn't understood it. But the people seemed all very happy when the visitors came around. One time his curiosity got the better of him. He wanted to see what the fuss was about. Silently he pushed a chair to the door and opened it. He sneaked down the hall towards the big room and looked inside. The visitors - a woman and a man - where talking and playing with the other children. It looked fun. He asked himself why he wasn't allowed to play. He wanted to ask the visitors if he could play too. So he stepped inside.
The faces of the visitors blanched when they saw him. The woman shrieked pointing at him. She suddenly looked so distressed. Quickly one of the caretakers grabbed him while another tried to console the woman. But the two visitors stormed past him. There wouldn't be any more visitors for a while. People where very angry with him that day. They told him that he hadn't been invited and how impolite it had been that he still showed up. How Naruto had ruined the game for all the children. He tried to apologize. He asked how to get invited but the caretakers always said that he still hadn't learned his lesson and being as selfish as he was, he would simply never get an invitation.
For a while he then gave his all. He wanted to improve and not be selfish. He wanted to be better. He thanked the caretakers every time they took him aside when the other children would play, or eat, or sleep. The always gave him special attention. He got to eat in his own little room and when the other children where done with eating and went outside he got to help with the dishes. He got so many chances to improve himself. And yet it seemed to not matter what he did. No matter how hard he tried and how many people helped him. He would always be the same selfish boy who ruined everything. Who made people point and yell. The only child who had to hide during the visits.
One day the was busy helping with carrying the dishes back from the big room back to the kitchen. He had tried to pick up one of the big bowls the caretakers used to carry the food. It was large and heavy but Naruto was determined to help them. He wanted to show that he was improving. That he could help and be good. With both of his hands gripping the massive bowl he picked it up and started carrying it towards the kitchen. He locked eyes with one of the caretakers, a wide grin on his lips, as if to say, "Look at me! Look how I'm helping!"
He grunted from the heavy weight he was carrying. But he would not give up. He knew he could do better. He knew Naruto would be a good child like the others. He took another step and tripped over a toy that laid of the floor, mindlessly discarded by one of the children. His footing slipped. It was like time slowed down as the bowl slipped from his grip and fell to the ground. He saw it shatter in many pieces before he himself met the ground.
"Naruto!", the voice of the adult was piercing and angry, it made him flinch, "What did you do? Look you destroyed one of the big bowls! Why did you do this? Don't you want the others to eat?"
Naruto was crying on the floor. Not because he was hurt - his fall had left only minor bruises - he felt shame. Now all the other children would be angry because of him. They would not want to play with him because he broke their bowl. "You always ruin the things for the others, Naruto. You're still selfish and jealous."
"I-I-I didn't want to...", said Naruto though tearful eyes.
"Just go away and try not destroy even more things", the caretaker yelled.
The boy stumbled to his feet. His back hurt from the fall as he left the room. He could hear the caretaker pick up the shards as he cursed about Naruto, how he made their jobs so much more difficult and how it would be better if he would finally be gone.
That night, Naruto ran away again.
The boy was running as fast as his tiny legs would take him.
Which wasn't as fast as he liked.
They where catching up to him.
They would beat him if they'd reach him.
He still felt the bruises from the punch he had gotten earlier. The blond boy turned a corner and ran straight into another guy with an equally sinister look.
He tried to get away but the man held him in an iron grip. It hurt.
"Please, I'm sorry", Naruto begged, "please, let me go."
A hand hit his cheek. Pain. The grip on his arm still wouldn't budge. The other two had caught up to him as well.
The boy was crying. The men where so mad at him. They demanded that he gave them back their parents, their wives, their brother. Naruto didn't understood.
He hadn't done anything. He had just asked a man for directions. He just wanted to see the big tower the Hokage was living in but the moment the guy saw him he had gotten so mad.
Like the visitors... How did the man know he was selfish? Did they know about the bowl he had broken?
Naruto had run away. Like a coward. The caretakers would be angry when they found out he had dodged taking responsibility - again.
The punches came quick. Naruto didn't fight back. Not that he would have stood any realistic chance taking on three adults.
He just cried and took it as they let out their righteous anger at the child. He still didn't understood how he had taken these people's loved ones but it sounded like something he would do.
Like breaking the bowl and make the other children be hungry. He had still gotten food that night. He still had eaten his special ramen cup they would always prepare for him.
And the other children? They probably hadn't eaten anything... Naruto hadn't checked. He had run away after all.
The nights on the streets of Konohagakure would teach the boy how good he really had it at the orphanage.
Where he got food, had people who cared for him and who wouldn't hit him unless he deserved it.
Outside the people where a lot less kind. They would run after him and hit him even when he hadn't even talked to them.
His reputation always preceded him it seemed. So he hid. He learned to duck behind covers, to hide in the shadows, and to avoid big streets and crowded places.
Instead his tours took him through alleys and back streets, where only cats and vermin crossed his path...
But even those seemed to avoid him it seemed. Some looked even scared. As if they all knew. Somehow...
The street reeked of garbage and urine. Naruto tried breathing trough his mouth but that helped only a small bit.
He had already noticed in the past that his senses seemed to be more sensitive than those of the other children.
Be it loud noises or strong odors, he was always the one who seemed to mind the most. And in this alley it felt almost unbearable.
He held his nose and tried to push forward only to run into a trashcan while he was distracted. The can fell over with a loud clang, that made Naruto wince.
One of the lights in a neighboring house suddenly flashed on as a guy stared through a window. He pointed directly at him. Before he suddenly disappeared.
Panic coursed through his body when he desperately looked for an escape route. Down the street was a large house surrounded by a wooden wall. Off to the side was a large gate leading inside.
The gate stood open. That was as good as he'd get, Naruto thought and started to run.
He heard a door opening behind him as two men rushed out on the street following him in hot pursuit.
The boy gave his all, sprinting towards the open gate. His hunters where quickly gaining ground. He could almost feel their breath on his neck. With one reckless jump he dove though the open gate into a meadow.
He stumbled and fell forward, struggling back to his bruised legs. He saw one of the men wanting to step though the gate when his friend stopped him: "Are you crazy?", the man asked, "This is the Naara Compound. They'll kill you if they see you in there. It's not worth it..."
They looked angrily at Naruto who took this as a change to keep running further into the heart of the compound until he no longer could make out the gate.
With a deep sigh Naruto sank into the lush grass of the meadow. The night sky above him seemed so vast and endless like he had never seen it before.
The large trees rustled with silent whispers like they shared his amazement. He had won for the night. No one would run after him. He could simply rest under the cover of the soft blackness of the night.
Bared on a bed of the softest grass he had ever touched. It didn't take long for the exhaustion to overwhelm him. One moment he listened to the gentle sounds of the nearby forest the next he slumbered peacefully a gentle smile on his lips.
He woke up sore.
He always did after nights like this.
He was back at the orphanage.
He didn't recall how he got there. But he had a pretty good guess who was responsible. It made him shudder.
The door of the tiny closet he was in had been locked from the outside. They didn't want him to run away again...
Well he would find another way eventually. But until then he was stuck in this room.
Naruto sighed as he sat up. His muscles ached but he was used to it.
He was thirsty but he knew they wouldn't let him out for another couple of hours. He couldn't risk it. If he would need to go to the toilet...
The last time he couldn't hold it in. One of the adults had screeched at him when she had opened the door and seen him. She had hit him until he apologized, made him take off his clothes and wait as they where washed. It had been cold.
So he just sat down and waited. It was eerily quiet. The other kids where probably outside and playing.
Naruto would have loved to be outside too. He wanted to get out of this room. Enjoy the air and the sun. The grass and leaves. The muddy earth. The sounds of birds.
Right now there where no sounds. But that was bound to change. The moment they came back and let him out the yelling would commence again.
Angry questions.
Why he ran away?
Why he didn't appreciate all the hard work they did for him?
Why he hated them so much?
How he was a thankless brat that always needed attention. How the other children where suffering because of his selfish act and...
His breaths became labored.
The room was spinning around him.
He felt like it was moving.
The whole room was moving on its own with him inside.
The traces of last nights bruises had almost completely disappeared.
Of course they did... Not that it mattered.
They'd never believe him anyways.
He had tried to tell people in the orphanage whenever he was beaten, whenever he got hurt.
But they never listened.
And if they did they would they'd just ask why he still ran away?
Why didn't he just stayed here?
Was it just seeking attention?
They would yell again... It was always the yelling. Demanding that he stop talking. Asking why he had to make everything worse.
He pressed his hands against his ears.
His head hurt, he was still thirsty.
The room kept on moving but it would never get away.
He used to cry but he didn't do that anymore.
It was selfish of him to cry.
Only bad attention seeking children would cry when they got punished for running away. And didn't want to be one of those.
He just sit there in the spinning room as the silence screamed at him.
He looked at the cup of water.
He didn't drink it.
He just sat there, driven by his cell.
He felt his heart beating.
It was fast.
Fast like yesterday when he ran.
He was still running.
The room was moving so fast.
Moving and spinning.
It didn't stop.
He couldn't stop.
He was running again.
Running in his room.
Running while sitting in the room.
The driving room.
A sound.
A key.
The room opened.
Then the yelling started again.