Chapter Text
Chapter 1
The little brother I never had-
Reiner's darkest secret during his childhood was that he always wanted a younger sibling. In his mind, Gabi was close but it was not the same as having a sibling to take care of. He knew his mother would never allow it though as it would be damning another innocent soul to the depths of prejudice hell. Reiner was lucky to be born...or was he unlucky? He spent his life being bullied and looked down on...his days spent walking on the street being jeered at by the Marleyans. His nights listening to his mother cry in the room wondering how he can make it better. Reiner once was told by his Eldian teacher that the eyes were windows to the soul. It was the eyes that held the secrets of the person which was a depressing fact for him. All his life...all Reiner saw was anger and hate in the eyes of the Marleyans to the point that even his own mother looked at him with sorrow and pain .
When Reiner became the Armored Titan..for the first time he saw his mother look at him with eyes of love and happiness. In his heart he knew he would cherish that forever. His mother looking at him with love was everything he could have asked for and it was the same look she gave him when he left for Paradis. His mother's loving eyes were soon replaced by Marcel's eyes of sadness as he told him the truth of why Reiner was drafted into the titan program and soon the world shifted again. The eyes of fear as Marcel was eaten by that hideous titan were forever burned into his brain as were the eyes of the Eldians that were slaughtered as he broke the wall. As he continued the mission, the eyes of Annie and Bertholdt did not give much comfort. Annie looked at him with hate and Bertholdt looked at him with fear. He thought he would never see a pair of kind eyes look at him again...until he started training.
Eren...Eren Yeager.
When he first met Eren..Eren looked at him with admiration. It was the first time someone...anyone...looked at him like that. Eren looked at him like he was someone to trust..to look up to. As Eren looked at Reiner..he knew he would cherish this forever. The four years of training..he would not admit to anyone but himself were some of the best of his life. Reiner became everyone's big brother. How Eren looked at him was now copied in the eyes of Armin, Connie, Sasha, and even Jean looked at him like that sometimes. So Reiner did what he does best, he assumed the responsibility of the big brother. Anything and everything for those looks..those looks of admiration of someone to look up to.
When Eren was thought to be dead he thought he would die himself.
No...anyone but Eren
Not the person who helped me see that I could be more that just a warrior
And when Eren emerged out of his titan?
Reiner wishes Eren stayed dead.
Eren's eyes when he reveals himself to be the armored titan are burned in his brain. It is a look of shock. His eyes hold entire paragraphs in them. It was as if they're saying
No..please...anyone but you
Eren's eyes when they're in the forest are worse. He now looks at Reiner how everyone else does. His eyes have hate in them. But his eyes of hate are different..they have more fire..more anger..more pain.
He is glad that the next time they meet..Eren is in his titan form. But the eyes of his titan have the same fire..the same fire of hate. He has to focus..focus on the weak spots. What can he exploit? And why...why is he doing this?
The thunder spears that blind him are a blessing in disguise
As Reiner recovers back in Liberio, there's a new look waiting for him. A look of...pity. Everyone looks at him like that and you know what's funny? It is worse that the look of hate.
Poor Reiner.. he failed to complete his mission.
Poor Reiner...he came back alone
The gun in his mouth is a gift..a gift he does not want to give himself.
Falco leads him down to a basement with eyes of excitement and there he is again.
Eren
Eren's eyes are different this time. There is no anger, no fear, no hate...there is only evil. Eren looks at him with the eyes of an evil man. This is why he drops down to the ground and begs. Begs the devil that was once his brother to grant him his wish of death. He wants to disappear. He wants to die. He wants to vanish.
Eren does not grant him his wish
The next weeks are a blur...war, blood, bullets, carnage, and the eyes of dead men permeate his vision. Until he hears it..
My name is Eren Yeager...the colossal titans will rampage until there is nothing left.
No not him...anyone but his little brother...he would not do this. But he has to steel himself. He knows...this is something Eren would do.
Jean and Connie and even Annie look at him differently now. It is a look of reliability. No force on earth will make him betray them again.
It has been done..Eren Yeager dead at the hands of Mikasa Ackerman. His head has been taken back to Paradis and Reiner? He lives. He focuses on his mom, Gabi, and Falco. He focuses on what comes after...after everything. The days that come by are worth more that gold and he intends to spend them like it is the most valuable treasure imaginable. He bonds with Jean and Connie and even Armin. He and Annie drink every Friday and they talk of their lives and of Bertholdt. He talks of peace and becomes an ambassador and he lives to see his mother proud of all of it.
People look at him differently now. It is a look of respect and of trust. Trust in him to do the right thing and Reiner will treasure it forever. But Reiner always misses him. His little brother. The one who admired him. The one who looked at him that way first.
Three years have passed since the battle of Heaven and Earth...and Reiner sits at a bar with all his friends. There he notices a person who he has not talked to for a long time. Mikasa Ackerman. He is reluctant to approach her but Mikasa looks at him with a sad happiness and offers a bottle of whiskey. Here he stays..late at night with Mikasa Ackerman of all people and they talk..talk about him. Mikasa tells Reiner all about him and fills in the gaps..the details..and everything in between. Reiner then pulls out some cigars..a gift from Onyakopoon and Mikasa accepts. They smoke and talk more about Eren...and for once Reiner is glad to speak with someone who knew him so greatly.
As dawn comes..Mikasa finished her cigar and leaves the whiskey bottle to him and bids him farewell. As she leaves..Reiner cannot help but ask one more question.
"Mikasa...what did Eren look like before he died?"
Mikasa stops in her tracks and without even turning her back and meeting his eyes...she gives the answer
"At peace Reiner, he looked to be at peace"
It is early morning by the time he reaches the grave. Reiner sits down beside Eren and watches the world..the world anew. Hours go by but he has nowhere to be..he just wants to sit. As the sun reaches midday Reiner finally gets up and pours the remaining whiskey on Eren's grave...hoping that somehow..somewhere..he would taste it and as he goes back down the hill..he looks at the gravestone one more time and says..
"Thank you brother for looking at me before anyone else did."
and with that he bids his little brother a good rest