Chapter Text
All Grace wanted was to be a regular girl with no sexual desire until she was safely married. She thought it could be in the cards after she'd gotten over Max, but clearly God had other plans.
It wasn’t her fault, okay? Temptation was difficult to resist, especially when it took the form of your best friends. If anything, it was Steph and Pete’s fault for being such an attractive couple. It didn’t help that they were so… nice. Even though they got annoyed with her sometimes, they still let Grace tag along and made her feel included.
Like when she caught them kissing at Beanie’s. Grace hadn’t meant to intrude on their study “date”, she was just getting her usual cup of hot water. At the crappy coffee shop that she’s only been in once or twice before.
“What are you doing? Leave room for Jesus,” Grace hissed, slamming her cup down on their table. Pete startled, quickly springing back into his seat. Steph reluctantly pulled back, crossing her arms and glaring at Grace.
“This is a coffee shop, not a church, Chasity,” Steph huffed, “We’re allowed to kiss.” She gave Pete a quick peck on the cheek, making him blush. “See? No one’s bursting into flames. What are you even doing here?”
Grace took a nearby chair and forced it between the two. She quickly regretted it when they didn’t scoot their chairs back like she expected. Grace was effectively sandwiched between them, suddenly very aware of their knees touching. No one noticed that she didn’t give an answer. She wasn’t even sure what it was herself.
Pete reached over her to grab his notebook. “It was probably for the best,” he reasoned with Steph, “You were distracting me.” As he flipped through his notes, Grace took note of how he absent-mindedly chewed on his pen. His soft lips curved up around it as he—
‘Get ahold of yourself, Grace,’ she admonished herself, tearing her eyes away from him. Looking at Steph wasn’t any better. She was scribbling away at a worksheet with a determination Grace had never seen. Steph scrunched her nose in a way that Grace couldn’t help but find cute.
“So, it says here that you’re supposed to divide the mass, I think you multiplied last time,” Pete informed over his notebook, invoking a groan from Steph. She leaned forward right into Grace’s personal space. Grace stiffened, definitely not thinking about what her hair smelled like.
Steph snatched the notebook out of Pete’s hands, nearly smacking Grace in the process. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she groaned. They fell into more silence as Steph angrily crossed out and erased madly on her worksheet.
Pete took a few sips from his hot chocolate as he watched his girlfriend work with a dopey smile plastered on his face. He kept gnawing away at his pen as he bounced his leg, occasionally brushing against Grace’s knee.
Grace kept her eyes glued to a random stain on the table. She would not look at Steph, whose rings glinted on her busy hands. She would not look at Pete, whose lips tugged at his pen. Butterflies soared in her stomach, flying lower than they were supposed to. Heat coursed through her veins as she sat there motionless in contrast with the fluttering butterflies battling within her.
“Could you stop that,” she snapped at Pete, clamping her hand onto his knee and bringing it to a halt. Pete stared at her, shocked by her outburst. Grace quickly retracted her hand, avoiding his gaze. “I’m going to get a refill,” she mumbled, quickly standing up.
She got in line behind a man in a suit chatting amiably with the barista. Grace took the time to cool off, taking a few deep breaths as she drained the rest of her lukewarm cup. She seriously needed to get herself under control. After getting herself some ice water, she headed back to the table, trying to remember why she was even here in the first place.
Steph sat by herself, seemingly given up on her work. She doodled on her paper, barely looking up when Grace sat back down. “Pete went to the bathroom.” Steph explained, snickering. “His pen exploded from him chewing on it too damn hard.”
She stretched her arms, making her top ride up slightly. Grace had always thought Steph’s shirts were too cropped. She was just observing how immodest it was. Her face flushed as she reluctantly directed her eyes away from the scandalous sight.
Steph turned in her seat, pushing it closer to lay her head in Grace’s lap. “I didn’t know studying was going to be this hard,” she lamented, fiddling with the other girl’s hands. “I’m gonna rest my eyes for a sec.” She closed her eyes with a sigh.
Grace took the time to properly panic, feeling every part of her set on fire. This was not ideal. She was supposed to resist temptation, not run straight to it. But the butterflies, for all their restlessness, generated warmth as she felt Steph’s hand in her own.
Pete came back with his stained sweater in hand. “Well, don’t you two look cozy,” he chuckled, laying his damp sweater on the back of another chair. “It is getting late,” he admitted quietly, “but it wouldn’t hurt to sit here for a while.” He moved his chair closer to rest his head on top of Grace’s, relaxing against her.
How could they be so casual about this? Grace sat rigid in her chair, struggling to loosen the tightness of her chest. She held back tears as her gaze bore into the table. This was really happening. She couldn’t deny the strong feelings within her anymore.
Grace was broken. That was the only explanation for this. The guilt weighed down heavily on her, crushing the fleets of butterflies. She can’t be like this, worming her way into a perfect relationship. She shouldn’t be embracing her sin openly, where anyone could see. Jesus didn’t die for her sins so that she could do whatever she wanted.
Grace sniffled, knowing that the tears would soon follow. She carefully slipped her hands out of Steph and Pete’s, furiously scrubbing at her face. She sniffled incessantly as she tried to breathe deeply. Don’t cause a scene. They were the only customers inside; it must be near closing.
She couldn’t help but cry, stifling herself as best she could. This was it. Grace was going to be damned to Hell. After all she’d done to purify herself in the eyes of her Lord, surely He’d reject her and her sinful decisions.
“Hey. What’s wrong?” Pete whispered, nudging her gently. He lifted his head and gave her hand a squeeze. “It’s going to be okay, Grace. I’ve got you.” His voice, uncharacteristically gentle, only made her cry harder. She didn’t deserve his kindness.
Steph sat up slowly, somewhat aware of the situation. “Grace?” she asked, wiping at her bleary eyes. “What’s going on? Pete, did you make her cry?”
Pete scoffed, shaking his head. “I didn’t do anything! It’s not always me, Steph.”
Steph rolled her eyes, then turned her attention towards Grace, who was already standing up.
“I have to go,” she mumbled, quickly turning away. The faster she can leave, the less she’ll be tempted to stay.
Steph countered, “It’s dark out. I can drive you home.” The thought of it made Grace’s skin tingle. Either her in the backseat with Pete, or in the front seat with Steph, or in the back alone. Just being with them for a little longer. Hadn’t she suffered enough?
“I have my bike. My neighborhood’s not that far, Grace argued half-heartedly, dropping her gaze to the floor. She knew she must look pathetic to them.
Steph stood up and grabbed her bag. “Yeah, that’s not happening,” she said firmly. She gestured to Pete as he shoved his things into his backpack. “You have the keys, right?” He tossed them to her, settling his bag onto his shoulders. Without another word, they take Grace’s hands and walk out of the shop together.
Grace should've biked home in the dark.
After searching the parking lot for Steph's car, Steph got a call from her father. Apparently, she'd snuck out to hang out with Pete, so her father had called someone to tow the car as punishment. He'd sent a limo ahead to take them straight home.
So, Grace ended up between Steph and Pete again, which she thought was strange. Wouldn't they want to be next to each other? Although, a selfish part of her was glad—not out of jealousy, but concern—that this way, they couldn’t hold hands or kiss. Absolutely disgusting.
Instead, their full attention was on Grace, which conflicted her. While they sat in relative silence, Steph would occasionally ask her questions about either school or bible study. Grace knew she didn’t really care about that stuff, but it made her feel warm inside regardless.
Pete and Steph were feeling awfully affectionate today. Pete kept a firm grip on her hand and rested his head on her shoulder. Steph laid in Grace's lap, one hand in hers and the other scrolling on her phone. Grace was too tired to contest this display of platonic affection.
Because that’s what this was. They were just friends being friendly. Not every touch was sexual, as Grace learned from Pete’s near-constant touches of reassurance he endeared all his friends with, regardless of gender identity. She was not going to explode from a few instances of hand-holding.
She leaned into the couple’s affection, feeling a wave of relief wash over her. Grace was safe in her platonic bubble, as long as she didn’t do anything to mess things up. With tears drying on her face and a small smile, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.