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Fuck The Sun

Summary:

Despite it being a literature class Mr. Kars usually spent class ranting about the sun. Which was fine with Smokey and Joseph. They only needed this class for an English requirement. Caesar on the other hand actively like literature and would prefer if they actually talk about the books they were reading. They only had one discussion on their current book, Dracula.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Despite it being a literature class Mr. Kars usually spent class ranting about the sun. Which was fine with Smokey and Joseph. They only needed this class for an English requirement. Caesar on the other hand actively like literature and would prefer if they actually talk about the books they were reading. They only had one discussion on their current book, Dracula.

Mr. Kars walked into the classroom wearing sunglasses. This was not unusual, what was unusual was that he took them off.

“I would be better off not reading your papers. To think mankind went from Shakespeare to this is disgusting.”

“It would be nice if we were actually taught Shakespeare,” Caesar muttered.

“I will now pass back your papers, just know you cannot convince me you deserve a better grade,” Kars put his sunglasses back on.

“Isn’t he dramatic,” said Joseph.

“That’s just Mr. Kars’ way,” said Smokey.

Caesar looked at his paper, a B. He wanted to argue but after two months he knew he would never win. He glanced at Joseph’s paper, an A.

“Explain yourself,” Caesar glared at his friend.

“What I worked hard.”

Caesar grabbed Joseph’s essay. He read the title, Sun; Dracula’s Obstacle to Being The Ultimate Being.

“You bastard!”

“Work harder not smarter, Caesar.”

Caesar grabbed Joseph’s shirt pulling him, until their foreheads touched, “Don’t think I wouldn’t beat your ass.”

“Please consider beating Joseph’s ass when there are no witnesses,” said Smokey speaking like a future politician.

Caesar let go of Joseph’s shirt, “Eight a clock at the fountain don’t be late.” Caesar walked away to argue about his grade because losing battle or not he refused to have a lower grade than Joseph.

Joseph turned to face Smokey, “That was the best you could do!”

“I’m not messing with Italian rage.”

“You’re such a coward.”

“I’m not the one that runs away from everything.”

“Joseph Joestar, you must not run away,” came a deep voice behind the duo. They turned around to see Wamuu.

“It’s none of your business,” said Joseph.

“It is in fact my business, fights need to be honorable, it is my duty to maintain the honor of fights.”

“Have you read a history book?” asked Smokey.

Wamuu took out a silver ring, “Wear this.”

“Are you proposing?”

“I’m ensuring that you show up to the battle.”

“If I put this on will you leave me alone?”

“Yes.”

Joseph put on the ring, “I wonder how granny Erina will react to this?”

Caesar sat down looking angrier than ever.

“I take it didn’t go well,” Joseph said with a shit-eating grin.

“Eight a clock.”

“Class, our next book will be Frankenstein read it. Now pay attention to this slide show, this is how humanity should have evolved in the past hundred years.”

Mr. Kars proceeded to show a slide show of him in only a thong. If Joseph was half convinced humanity should have evolved that way.

*****

Joseph applied red lipstick, he painted his nails pink, adjusted the bows in his hair, and put on a pink dress. In Joseph’s unbiased opinion, he looked drop-dead gorgeous. Originally Joseph was going to run away but Wamuu’s ring made him want to fight. He of course had a plan.

Joseph arrived five minutes early to the fountain. Caesar was already there waiting for him.

“I’m surprised that you even show up.”

“Now, now Caesar let’s not be too hasty after all you wouldn’t hit a lady in pu-” before Joseph could finish his sentence he was punched to the ground.

“Yes, I wouldn’t, good thing you’re not a lady.”

The next day they both show up to Mr. Kars's class with matching black eyes.

Notes:

Hope you enjoy, it was a pain to post

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