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Upon entering the apartment, Sejanus attempted to close the door as quietly as he could so he could cross the hall and slip into his room undetected.
Unfortunately, however, his father was much more perceptive than he gave him credit for.
"Where have you been?" The man asked sternly, appearing in the hallway.
Sejanus rolled his eyes and turned away. "Hospital."
"Visiting?" His father raised a brow.
"Who do you think? Not like I have any other friends apart from Coriolanus. No thanks to you." Sejanus replied bitterly.
For once, his father chose to ignore the jibe and simply sighed instead. "Go get changed and come eat. Dinner is ready." He said before disappearing in the direction of the dining room.
Sejanus ignored his order and stayed in his uniform. There wasn't much point in getting changed if he'd just disappear back to his room the minute dinner was over so he headed straight to the dining room, hoping to get the awful event of dinner over with as quickly as possible.
Ma and his father were already sat at the table and as he walked in, Sejanus caught the tail end of a hushed discussion, but as soon as they noticed their son, the dining room went silent and Ma averted her gaze to the floor.
Sejanus frowned and tentatively took a seat (one as far away from his father as possible, just to be petty). "What's going on?" He asked. It wasn't rare for his parents to have these sorts of private discussions, usually about him and their many worries for their troubled son. But this one seemed different. There was a certain look on Ma's face, like she was waiting for a bomb to go off.
She opened her mouth to say something that, from the look on her face, might have been an apology? But Sejanus never found out as his father sent a warning glare her way and her mouth promptly closed again.
Sejanus gave his father a questioning look but upon receiving no sort of explanation, he gave up and decided that it was probably just another anxious discussion about when his next outburst or public embarrassment would be. He knew that his parents saw him as a ticking timebomb, and hell, even he himself felt like one! But out of everyone, he'd never intended for his actions to hurt Ma...
The door behind Sejanus, the one that led to the kitchen, finally opened and out stepped an avox. Ever since they'd moved to the Capitol, Sejanus' father had always insisted that dinner be brought to them by the avoxes and that they were to sit at the table, prim and proper like a real Capitol family, until they did so.
Sejanus hated this. He hated feeling posh and rich and Capitol. He missed Ma's special cooking that she only seemed to do on special occasions or when her husband wasn't looking. He missed just grabbing what he liked from their kitchen back in two and munching on it as he ran out the door to go play with his friends.
At the sight of the avox, Ma physically winced before hanging her head in shame. Sejanus found this bizarre, he knew she'd never liked the concept of avoxes (servants with no tongue to defend themselves with) and neither had he, but she'd never had this sort of reaction? Not since they'd first moved. It was just the usual girl, the one with auburn hair who Sejanus snuck books and treats to so she would have some form of comfort.
Except, when the avox came into Sejanus' view and bent down to place the food on the dining table, Sejanus realised that it was not the usual girl. Oh god... it really wasn't...
He let out a strangled gasp of horror.
It was a boy. A boy with short black hair. A boy with soft, dark eyes. A boy still covered in bruises and open cuts, leaking thick blood and pus down his face. A boy who was face to face with Sejanus, his eyes begging for help. A boy that Sejanus knew.
"Marcus..." He whimpered, barely able to get the word out. "What did they— why—"
Marcus just stared back at him, his eyes glistening full of hurt and fear. His face was a mass of graphic injury but Sejanus couldn't pull his eyes off him even if he tried.
"Sejanus," His father's voice came from across the room and something seemed to switch in Marcus' mind as he quickly looked away and stood up straight as if to walk away again.
Sejanus grabbed the other boy's wrist before he could fully pull away and his heart just about shattered when Marcus flinched. "Oh, Marcus..." He breathed in horror, "What happened? What did they do to you?!"
Marcus wasn't looking at him again, like back at the zoo and in Heavensbee Hall, but this time it was so much worse. Back then it had been an act of defiance. Now it seemed purely out of fear.
"Leave the poor avox alone, Sejanus." The boy's father instructed, as if nothing was wrong and everything was normal.
Sejanus' gaze slowly met his father's and he stared at the man in utter horror. "What did you do...?"
His father only spared him a slight glance before turning to Marcus. "You're dismissed."
Marcus tried to leave but Sejanus' hand tightened around his wrist, stopping him. Marcus tried to pull away but Sejanus wouldn't let him. He kept trying though, tugging with as much strength as he could muster in his injured state, just trying to get away. It wasn't until Sejanus witnessed the sheer panic and terror on the other boy's face that he let go in surprise and Marcus walked away at a very brisk pace, disappearing into another room.
Sejanus watched him go and stared at the empty doorway for a moment too long before turning back to his father, a new anger in his eyes. "What the hell did you do...?"
Strabo Plinth screwed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh as if this were just another instance of Sejanus being difficult. "Sejanus, you need to listen to me—"
Sejanus stood up abruptly, knocking his chair to the floor with the force of the action. "Listen to you?" He scoffed, "You're a monster!"
"Sejanus—" His father tried again but was cut off.
"What the hell is wrong with you?! That you— Marcus..." Sejanus shivered as the image of Marcus' terrified face invaded his mind. "How could you?! I know you're willing to do some fucked up things but this—" He slammed his hand down on the table with a loud smack, "—is too far."
The man cringed a little at the boy's language but didn't comment on it. Sejanus was glad he didn't because he probably would have strangled him right then and there.
"You're acting as if I personally cut out his tongue and made him an avox." Strabo said.
"And you're acting as if you're still not just as much to blame!" Sejanus snapped back. "Or do you want me to believe Marcus turned up here completely without your say or knowledge?"
The man turned to his wife looking for assistance in this argument but found absolutely none as she sat silently, guilty tears streaming down her cheeks. Sejanus didn't blame her for this, he knew she would never have done such a vile thing, but he couldn't help being at least a little annoyed that she hadn't told him.
"Dr Gaul suggested we buy him," Strabo began to explain himself, "I assume as a warning, a way to keep you in check. You cannot expect your actions to go without consequences, Sejanus. And anyway, I know you'd prefer us to have him rather than someone else."
"Have him, buy him?!" Sejanus gawked, "He's a human being! He's my friend!"
"And he brought this upon himself when he chose to run from the arena." Strabo decided, "It seems you both have to learn that your actions have consequences."
Sejanus stared at the man in front of him and could no longer see his father. Only a monster. "Do you hear yourself?!" He exclaimed, "What if it was me?! What if I had been reaped for the games? What if I had been locked up in a cage like an animal? What if I had run from my death? What if I had had my tongue cut out and turned into an avox? What then?"
"Well if you're not careful then maybe it will be!" Strabo exclaimed, standing from his own seat.
"Is that a threat?" Sejanus scoffed.
"It's a warning." The man said, "You're lucky Dr Gaul didn't decide to turn you into an avox."
"I'd rather it were me than Marcus!" Sejanus shouted, "I would have marched up to her lab and ordered it myself if it meant it wouldn't have to be Marcus! But who am I kidding?! You would have just bought me out of it before I had a chance to actually do something!"
"Go to your room."
"What? You can't stand the fact that I'm the only thing you can't buy?! Sad you can't just throw money at your son to make him better?!"
"Maybe I'd be better off starting from scratch and buying myself a better son! Your little friend, Coriolanus, would do nicely!"
Somewhere deep down, Sejanus felt a stab of hurt at that comment. But right now, he really didn't care. "Good! I'd rather be dead than your son!"
"Go to your room!"
Sejanus picked up a glass from the table and threw it at the man. "Fuck you!"
There was a horrible moment of deafening silence as Sejanus waited for the man's reaction.
Strabo looked down at his once pristine suit, now covered in wine and glass shards like jagged crystals, a blank expression on his face. With a few precise brushes of his arm, he sent all the glass shards tumbling to the floor and began walking over to Sejanus who tried his best not to falter.
"I won't tell you again," Strabo said, eerily calm, now directly in front of Sejanus. "Go to your room."
Sejanus matched his energy. "Fuck. You."
Strabo grabbed him by the arm with such a strength that it left crescent-shaped imprints on Sejanus' arms. He dragged the boy out of the dining room and towards his room, shoving him inside and slamming the door shut behind him. Sejanus heard a click and scoffed. So that was why the man had insisted on installing a lock on his door.
He gave the door an experimental tug before confirming that it was, in fact, locked, to which he slid down the wall, sat on the floor, and just cried for a bit.
He felt strange crying, guilty even, because while, yes, this was a frightening and confusing situation that he had found himself in, it still felt wrong to cry about it when it was Marcus who was really suffering here. Because it hadn't been Sejanus who'd been reaped, it had been Marcus. It hadn't been Sejanus who'd been locked in a cage, it had been Marcus. It hadn't been Sejanus who'd been turned into an avox, it had been Marcus. But still, as the anger from the argument began to melt away, it exposed the raw terror he was feeling. The panic and confusion and the overwhelming helplessness that came with having so little power.
He could claim as much as he wanted that he would have taken Marcus' place but it meant nothing when he hadn't. It meant nothing when Sejanus was living the perfect life as a Capitol boy all whilst Marcus had to be going through unimaginable horrors.
Sejanus sat on the floor, gathering his thoughts for the next few hours and deciding his next plan of action until his parents went to bed. Once he was sure enough time had passed and that they were asleep, he snatched a bottle of water and some crackers from his nightstand, picked the lock on the door, and crept out into the hallway.
The apartment had an eerie quality to it in the dark of night. He already found it unsettling enough in the day, living amongst all this Capitol... junk. But at night, he only felt all the more out of place. He didn't want to be here.
Each room he passed, he peaked into to check for Marcus but most he found empty. However, when he peaked his head into the kitchen, he jumped to see Ma, still up.
She quickly wiped the tears clinging to her cheek and tried to put a smile on her face. "Sejanus, what are you doing up?"
With a quick check behind to make sure Strabo Plinth hadn't just materialised behind him, he gave her a weak shrug.
She spied the water bottle in his hand and it seemed to click. "Oh, honey... I'm so sorry... I would have stopped it if I knew."
"I know, Ma. It's not your fault..."
"But I'm still a part of this... I'm involved in the mutilation of a poor boy from home... Isn't that horrible?" She muttered, more tears wetting her eyes.
Sejanus wasn't quite sure what to say. It had always been Ma comforting him, brushing a hand through his hair, wrapping him up safely in her arms. He felt a little out of his depth standing there while she fought back her tears.
"I'm going to..." He mumbled, holding up the water bottle.
She nodded and turned away. "I didn't see anything."
He nodded gratefully, though she couldn't see him, and left her with a quiet thanks before continuing his search of their too-big apartment.
It was in one of the many empty guest rooms where Sejanus finally spied a familiar figure. Marcus was sat in the very back corner of the room, curled up as small as he could get and at the sound of the door opening, his head snapped up to face the intruder. He didn't look like the strong boy who had once defended Sejanus on the playground. He looked like cornered prey.
At the sight of that frightened, beat-up face, Sejanus couldn't help himself. He ran across, the room, sank to his knees, and tugged the other boy into a desperate hug.
"Oh, Marcus..." He gasped, tears springing to his eyes, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... Oh God, I—"
He pulled back but just enough to where he could cup Marcus' face in his hands. He didn't care that his hands were now smudged with blood. He just needed to hold him.
"I'm sorry..." He whispered, tears spilling over like a cup, his too full heart, overflowing with emotions.
Sejanus was surprised to feel the other boy's shaky hand brushing up against his cheek, attempting to wipe the tears off his face as plenty dripped down his own.
"I'm going to fix this, okay?" Sejanus decided, "I—I'll make it better, I swear..."
Marcus only leaned forward and cried into his shoulder.
Sejanus, so used to the cold shoulder he'd been receiving ever since the reaping, was a little taken aback, but he still gladly wrapped his arms around Marcus and soothed him.
Upon noticing how much blood was soaking his shirt, Sejanus was hit with a brief spike of panic. Marcus' injuries looked bad, upon closer inspection, and a few seemed like they might have already gotten infected.
"I'm gonna go get the first aid kit, okay?" Sejanus whispered, gently separating himself from Marcus to stand. However, the other boy quickly grabbed his wrist to stop him, fingers digging into his skin. He looked scared again. Sejanus wasn't even sure he'd ever stopped looking scared. "I'll be back in a minute, I promise." Sejanus tried to reassure him, placing a gentle hand on top of Marcus' and rubbing his thumb against his knuckles, "Just a minute, and I'll be right back."
From the look on Marcus' face, Sejanus expected him to refuse but reluctantly, he let go of the other boy's wrist, his hand slowly returning to his lap.
Sejanus tried to give him a reassuring smile but had a feeling it came across as more of a grimace. "See you in a minute." He said as he made his way to the door, not taking his eyes off Marcus.
Marcus opened his mouth as if to reply before wincing and closing it again. Sejanus held back his tears and exited the room.
True to his word, he was back in barely any time at all, first aid kit in hand which he placed down on the floor beside the two of them and opened up. Marcus eyed him warily as he doused cotton balls in disinfectant and brought them up to gently dab at the injuries on his face. At first, he only winced at the sting but soon enough his breathing was picking up and he was grabbing at Sejanus' arm, shaking his head. Sejanus quickly took the cotton ball away and his free hand found Marcus' with a comforting squeeze.
"I know it stings," He sympathised, "But it's going to help."
Marcus leaned forward to lean his head against the other boy's shoulder again and Sejanus could see the tell-tale frantic rise and fall of his chest that let him know he was crying. He had a feeling there was a bit more to this than the sting.
Sejanus gently lifted Marcus' head from his shoulder and cupped his face in his hands once again. "I'm not going to hurt you Marcus, I promise..."
Marcus looked helplessly at the cotton ball in Sejanus' hand before his face contorted in his silent sobs.
"I know..." Sejanus cooed, "But I'm right here. I've got you now. And I'm not leaving." He rested his forehead against Marcus' "Will you let me help you?"
Marcus hesitated for a moment, but only a moment, before he nodded and gently, very gently, pressed his lips against the other boy's. The gesture was soft, intimate. Sejanus would treasure it forever.
They stayed like that for a moment, foreheads pressed together, lips inches away, until Marcus finally pulled back and allowed Sejanus to tend to his wounds. Sejanus intertwined their fingers and every time Marcus would squeeze at the sting of the disinfectant, he'd squeeze right back in reassurance.
As Sejanus cleaned and bandaged Marcus' wounds with as much care as he could muster, he was reminded, bittersweetly, of a memory years ago; sitting in the empty classroom with hands clasped around his own and the kind voice and a gentle boy.
A kind voice that had now been stolen.
After smoothing out the final bandage on Marcus' cheek, Sejanus let his hand linger, his thumb gliding back and forth against the bruised skin of the other boy's face.
"I brought you some food." He remembered, nodding his head down vaguely at his pocket. "Crackers. It's not much but I'll try and bring you more."
Marcus' expression took on a new sadness as he shook his head.
Sejanus frowned, "Are you not hungry?"
Marcus gave him a mournful look before opening his mouth. Sejanus had never seen the mouth of an avox before, most kept their mouths sealed now that they had little reason to open it, but still, Sejanus had a feeling that this was worse than most...
Marcus' tongue was completely gone. Left behind at the bottom of his mouth was an irritated, bloody patch of flesh that looked incredibly painful, turning the excess amounts of saliva in the boy's mouth a pale red.
Sejanus wanted to throw up.
A new anger festered inside of him, a new anger towards the man he would no longer consider a father, that beast of a woman, Dr Gaul, and anyone else who had been involved in what had been done to poor Marcus.
He considered, for a brief moment, sneaking into Strabo Plinth's room and cutting his tongue out in his sleep. An eye for an eye, or more, a tongue for a tongue. But he didn't think he'd have the guts to go through with it and the thought disgusted him to his core.
That didn't mean he wasn't outraged. He'd find his own revenge somehow, but right now, his one and only priority was Marcus.
With the pad of his thumb, Sejanus traced Marcus' lip. "We'll find a way for you to eat. We'll figure something out. Ma makes nice soup? Maybe we could start with that." But did it matter how nice the soup was when Marcus would never be able to taste again? Never be able to taste the sweet cakes Sejanus offered him or Sejanus' lips on his...
"Can you drink? I brought water too." Sejanus asked, remembering the water bottle he'd placed by his side. He offered it to Marcus who unscrewed the lid and hesitantly brought it to his lips with shaky hands. The first sip seemed to go down fine, if only with a wince, but the second and third caused him to choke and he yanked the bottle away, doubling over and clutching at his neck.
Sejanus patted a steady hand against his back and tried not to shiver at the sight of the bloody saliva dripping from the other boy's mouth. He balled up the end of his sleeve and used it to wipe it away.
Once Marcus had stopped coughing, Sejanus settled for rubbing his palm against his back, hoping it at least brought him a sliver of comfort.
"Do you want to try some more?" Sejanus offered, picking the bottle up from where Marcus had left it, "Slower this time."
Marcus shook his head, looking exhausted. No wonder...
"Are you tired?" Sejanus whispered and received a nod, "Do you want to try sleep?"
Marcus looked up briefly to gaze at the door before dropping his head again and shaking it.
Sejanus stole his own glance at the door before pulling Marcus closer so the other boy's head was resting against his chest. "What if I stayed here with you, kept you safe? Would you at least try to sleep?"
Marcus made a breathy sound and Sejanus looked down to see he was mouthing something. 'Scared.'
"I know... that's okay." Sejanus said softly, "But I'm right here. I'm staying right here. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."
'Promise?' Marcus mouthed, his pinky finger brushing against Sejanus', something they hadn't done since they were kids.
Sejanus wrapped his pinky finger around Marcus'. "Promise."
Marcus allowed his eyes to slip shut, not letting go of Sejanus' finger or their promise. Neither did Sejanus.
They'd figure something out, Sejanus decided, promised, as he cradled Marcus close. They'd escape it all, the horrors, the pain, the fear, and they'd go somewhere better.
But for now, Sejanus kept watch over the boy in his arms and hoped that his dreams would at least be kinder than the cruelty of their real lives.