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“Ooooh! Erk! Doesn’t that staff look nice? More vulneraries can’t hurt, either!”
Serra chirps like a bird inside the small, shelf-lined confines of the vendor’s shop, and each peal of excitement only heightens Erk’s blood pressure. There it is already, he muses, referring to the invisible band of tension that firmly tightens around his head. Whenever I’m with you, I always feel like my head’s going to explode. Clutching his temples, he closes his eyes and tries to enjoy a brief moment of relief – which proves to be a mistake.
“Ohmygosh!” Serra gushes the moment he takes his eyes off her. Hopping like a rabbit, she makes the floorboards quake. “Erk, doesn’t this look lovely?”
His eyes pop open, to see what she’s insistently shoving at him – and then he gasps in the musty, ancient scent of a tome whose magic he can’t even dream of wielding. The arcane volume, bound in leather with its covers inlaid with gold and silver, gives off a resplendent, pulsing glow.
“Hmm, this is intermediate light magic,” Erk murmurs matter-of-factly. “Shine, to be precise – but, Serra, you can’t use this!”
His reluctance only widens her cheeky grin. “Oh, but I will, when we get to Ostia, and I finally complete my training! Then I’ll get my special ring, and I’ll become a full-fledged bishop!”
Gently leaning into his shoulder, she makes him shudder a little, as she whispers her dreams in his ear.
“Not convinced yet? Just imagine this, Erk – you and me, traveling all over Elibe, kicking ass and purging all kinds of evil with the power of light! We’ll be sooo legendary!”
His thoughts aren’t so optimistic. You mean, we’ll be sooo dead!
Unsettled by that thought, his legs shift restlessly – but her fingers promptly clench around his wrist. Trapping him with her grip, she blinks like Medusa, and he is instantly turned to stone.
You’re mine, Serra muses with a triumphant grin. You aren’t going anywhere.
When I first saw her, I should have ran, Erk laments, sweat beading his wrinkled forehead as she pelts his arm with playful punches. I should have ran away from this crazy girl, as fast as possible, as far as possible.
“C’mon, Erk!” Serra keeps begging, looking up at him with those innocent, puppy-doll eyes of hers. “Don’t tell me you’re not going to buy it.”
But I didn’t run. I couldn’t.
He tries to resist, before she says something to make his resolve crumble. “Serra, I -”
“- am going to buy this for you, because I think you’re cute and you definitely deserve it for training so hard. That’s what you were going to say, right?”
She’s cute, indeed – no, I mustn't let her talk me into buying things like she always does -
“Just look at me!” Serra continues, twirling like a ballerina in her robes. They hug her slender curves well, so well that Erk has to tear his eyes away from them. “How would you feel if some brigand got their filthy hands on me because they saw me with a puny staff and not a mighty tome like this?”
His repressed frustrations rear their ugly head with an intrusive thought.
Honestly, it would be quite a relief, not having to deal with your obnoxious, snarky mouth all day -
“It wouldn’t sit well with me,” Erk blurts, after biting his tongue. “But, Serra, I can’t buy it. You know we don’t have much money after traveling so far.”
“Why’d you think I convinced Lyn to let us join her?” Serra counters, sagely tapping her temple with a finger. “If she has the connections that I think she does, we’re going to be very well taken care of!”
“That may be true, but we still have no idea what Lyn’s going to be facing,” Erk mutters. “Did you consider that before you dragged us into her affairs?”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Serra exclaims, her smile souring. “You’re such a worry-wart, Erk! Not to mention uptight! Can’t you just live a little, instead of fretting about this and that? There’s no fun in whining about the future! You’re acting as if I don’t deserve something like this -”
“You don’t!” Erk snaps, growing weary of her little-girl act. “You don’t need a tome like this, Serra! What you need -”
His words peter out as he sees her face scrunch up, reddening with anger – but he manages to find his voice.
I need to tell her, because she can’t go on like this, thinking that there’s nothing wrong!
“You need to think about someone else other than yourself, for once! The whole time we’ve been together, you’ve just been carrying on, selfishly doing what you want – and you never ask me how I feel! Now, we’ve joined Lyn, and you’re still doing that! Have you forgotten that we came here to get supplies for her camp? But here you are, making the whole trip about yourself!”
“I’m not!” Serra cries, her eyes squeezed shut. Hurling the tome to the ground, she shrieks petulantly. “I – I don’t know why you’re being so mean to meeee!”
Never before in his life has Erk shouted so loudly. “I’m being so mean, because you’re being so childish!”
At that moment, they hear the abrupt, furious dinging of a bell.
Their faces go pale as they slowly turn to look towards the shop’s nearby counter, where a blue-haired shopkeeper glowers at them over her folded arms. The stern tone of her voice leaves them soundly chided.
“I'd appreciate it if you two took your lovers’ quarrel outside! In case you’ve forgotten, this is my shop! This is no place to be hashing out your relationship issues!”
Erk and Serra hurriedly blurt out their apologies. “We’re sorry, ma’am! We’ll tone it down!”
“Hmph,” the shopkeeper grumbles. “Just speak to each other gently, then kiss and make up. Oh, and buy something too.”
The shopkeeper turns away, leaving them red-faced, but for a different reason. Still recovering from their verbal sparring, neither wants to talk just yet, and so they stare at the shelves instead of each other.
In the stretch of silence, Serra bites her lip in worry. Just remembering how she cried out, leaves her cringing.
Agh, I hope he isn’t mad at me. Why'd I even shout at him like that? Was I too mean?
Erk worries too, unsure if he said too much.
I don’t know if there was any other way to put it, but I had to say it. I had to, because I want to stay by your side – maybe even after you reach Ostia safely. All this time, you’ve been such a pain – and now I have this pain, inside.
Smiling at himself, he acknowledges his weakness for her.
God, these silly feelings are such an inconvenience.
They intensify with each passing second, until he gives in to the urge to face her. To his dismay, he still sees anger in the furrowing of her brows.
Even so, her voice is quieter now, more subdued. “Erk.”
Not wanting things to get heated again, he speaks as softly as he can. “Yes.”
She lowers her head, her gaze dropping to her feet.
“If I had to choose between the tome and you, do you know what I would choose?”
The implications of that question send his heart plummeting into his stomach. Goosebumps flood his skin, as anxious thoughts flood his mind.
Please don’t choose what I think you’re going to choose. Just don’t. I wasn’t serious, when I said that being rid of you would be a relief.
“Just tell me, Serra.”
He listens to the way he pleads, and he is enlightened by his lack of bashfulness.
There’s no denying it. I’m definitely some kind of masochist. There’s no other way to describe how it hurts to be around you, but I can’t imagine not being around you.
Clinging to this newfound realization, he squeezes his eyes shut and hopes he hasn’t pushed her too far away.
In the darkness of his vision, he doesn’t see the way she steps towards the tome – then past it, towards him.
He catches a whiff of her perfume, so sweet yet so subtly sultry, like her quiet murmurs.
“I’m insufferable, aren’t I? I know that at the end of it all, you probably want nothing to do with me. That’s fine, because that’s what I paid you for. There’s just one problem.”
Taking a bold step forward, she firmly shoves him up against the shelves, causing a chorus of tinkling bottles. His heart races as she leans into his ear and makes herself clear.
“You see, when the time comes for us to part – I won’t let you leave. I think you’re the only person who can handle my silly moments. And that’s why I’d choose you over some dusty book.”
She knows that at any moment, his eyes will open – and so she tries to make a second choice.
I can’t go for his lips. No, that would be too awkward.
Reaching for his face, she holds it still. Eyelids fluttering open from her tender touch, he catches a glimpse of her approaching nose. It playfully bumps his – and his heart thumps to a breathless stop.
I wish I could, though – because when he’s not mad at me, he’s so cute.
Her hesitation draws an impatient gasp out of him. “Serra, what are you doing-”
“We’re supposed to be kissing and making up!” Serra gasps back in exasperation. “What do you think I’m doing?”
Her unusual willingness to wait, to figure out if that’s okay, sends his chin tilting upwards.
“Well, go on, because I like you,” Erk breathes, feeling weightless as he finally puts the dissonance in his heart into words. “I like you, but I hate you, and if I don’t get rid of you soon, I’ll end up loving you, too.”
Thunderstruck by his admission, Serra’s jaw drops as she processes those words slowly, her brain struggling to believe them. When they finally sink in, she reaches for his hands, letting him feel the trembling of her fingers.
That way, he feels every regret that passes through her confused mind.
I’ve behaved like a bitch this whole time, and here you are, trying to see the good in me. You’re trying to like me. To love me, even. How could I have been so blind -
She realizes why, as she remembers Erk’s shout of irritation.
But here you are, making the whole trip about yourself!
Her chin dips until it touches her chest. It’s enough to wrench a concerned gasp out of Erk.
“Serra?”
I guess this is why I was traveling alone, before I met you, Erk. I don’t know how to care for good people – and so far, you’re the only person who can endure me.
Her lips finally move, muttering through her pride.
“I like you too, Erk. I like you a lot – but I absolutely suck at showing it. Since I don’t know how, I hold on to you so tightly because I’d be crushed if you left me alone. Erk, trust me when I say that I see what you’re trying to do – you’re trying to see the good in me, even though there’s hardly anything there. You deserve better, and I think you should get rid of me, because after this -”
She leans in slightly and brushes her lips against his, melting his face with that soft, silken sensation.
“- we’re going to be bound.”
Bound.
They stare at each other, both breathless and uncertain as they contemplate the future, the years compressed into that single word.
Years of laughing, squabbling, fighting, moaning, cuddling, smiling, walking through life together. Years of him and her, years in which anything could happen. Thoughts of uncertainty arise in his mind, as his voice of reason speaks up – and then he hears her shriek desperately in his mind.
There’s no point in whining about the future!
She knows she has him, and that he has her, as they both arrive at the same conclusion, the same simultaneous whisper.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
They have no more words left, after clearing the final hurdle of their emotional tumult – and so he rests his cheek on the pillow of her palm, breathlessly content with letting her have her way as usual. For a moment, she wonders why he doesn’t do it, why he doesn’t claim what’s now his – and then she discovers why, as he squeezes his eyes shut, his lips forming a quivering pucker.
She squeezes her eyes shut too, letting the delightful awkwardness gently guide her forward, into his waiting arms. It is a warm crash of shuddering bodies, a timid fusion of soft puckers, as she shows him that he doesn’t know her at all, with the considerate, delicate pressure of her lips. It is a profound tenderness he has never felt from her, one he thought he’d never feel at all.
Serra, I never knew you could be so -
Maddeningly sweet and sensuous, to the point where his lips finally yield to her gentle assault, and he finally lets out that shy, high-pitched moan in her mouth, the one she has been waiting for.
“I l-love you, Serra.”
She moans back, just as their hands tighten together, just as butterflies flutter uncontrollably in her tummy, just as his legs stiffen and shake.
“I love you too, Erk.”
And then they tear themselves away, knowing that the next second would see them both dashed to pieces. Instead, they cling to each other like sailors to driftwood, still panting in that hot, sweaty silence, with their tomato-red faces delightfully close.
When the euphoria finally fades, it isn’t Erk who speaks first – or Serra.
“I see you two have made up!”
Erk and Serra almost jump out of their skin, as they remember where they are. Heads swiveling to the corner of a nearby shelf, they see the shopkeeper peeking at them, with a knowing smile on her face.
“I’m s-sorry, ma’am,” Erk and Serra stutter, their blushes deepening. “We didn’t mean to take so long!”
“Oh, it’s fine,” the shopkeeper giggles, her bangs jostling merrily as she shakes her head. “I know what young love is like. I’m just here to let you know that you have fifteen minutes to canoodle before I kick you out of my shop.”
Still laughing, the shopkeeper vanishes, leaving Serra and Erk sighing in relief. They sink to the floor, before enjoying the sublime calm of being in each other’s arms. Gazing into each other’s eyes, they glimpse a deepened admiration, one that tells them that that their newfound closeness, and the heat of their first kiss, has changed them forever.
“So, this is canoodling,” Serra breathes, savoring the way he gently runs his fingers through her pink hair. “I don’t know if I’ve ever felt like this – so happy – Erk, how do you feel?”
He shakes his head in wonder, as he tries to find a way to describe how his heart races like a wild horse every time she looks up at him.
This is what I’ve wanted, since we first met. I’ve wanted to hold you like this, even though I knew it might never happen. Now, it’s here, and I -
“It’s like – I feel like I’m not myself,” Erk murmurs, fondly looking down at his sweet, smiling Serra. “I guess this is what it feels like to be in love – when nothing makes sense.”
“It doesn’t have to, because now you’re mine,” Serra reaffirms, guiding his hand to her chest, letting him feel the thumps of contentment within it. “Not that you weren’t mine before, but that’s beside the point. Erk, I think we – I think we should go get the supplies -”
“Look at you, being the voice of reason,” Erk chuckles, his eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You’re acting as if you’re done with me.”
“I’m definitely not,” Serra whimpers, her lips parting, inviting him. “Isn’t making out a part of canoodling?”
Unable to resist that enticing offer, he blushes sweetly and lowers his lips to hers. “Of course it is.”
She’s given him the confidence he needs, and so he takes the lead, letting his lips slowly melt into hers once again – only for her to end up leading him, teaching him the exquisite language of wet, mingling tongues. Speaking it passionately, they drown in each other, each second blissfully savored, each twist and turn of their lips drawing them closer together, keeping them bound.