Work Text:
It was a calm evening. Calm as always. She was reading a book. Coffin of The Dagger.
That was the book's title that she read. Neither did she know what genre or what the story was about, she didn’t really care. She only picked it up because it was a book from Dan Heng.
He always loved to read books, having a big collection of them that was just across his bed. That way he looked at his collection right before falling asleep, which grew bigger and bigger every time he picked something new. Mr. Yang also liked to bring him some new books from his world. But that also changed. Everything changed, nothing was the same as back then when they first started.
They. They who don’t exist anymore. Only she and he, but never them.
Because that would be unfair. She always belonged to them, so why should they call each other that if she’s not here anymore? She’d always tell them to not forget about her and make sure that she's included. So they did the best they could.
Oh but what did she do to deserve that?
“Stelle?” A male voice rang in her ears. She didn’t bother to look up to the person that interrupted her in her train of thought. “I knew you’d be here. Mr. Yang wants to talk to you.”
Mr. Yang? Of course he again, what does he want from her again?
“Stelle..” the voice got closer, and the rather smaller person now hovered over her slouching figure in the pink bunny chair.
She looked at him. His face was always like a stone, never expressive. But his eyes seemed to have a whit of sadness and compassion in them. Or so she thought. Maybe it was pity. Pity that he felt for her and her miserable state.
She heard a sigh, and the figure in front of her slowly sat down on the floor that was packed with different kinds of pillows and stuffed animals. They were silent for a few minutes. Or hours. She did not know, she lost her track of time ages ago.
Stelle cautiously observed the other male. He looked like he wanted to say something, but didn’t know what words he should use.
It got unbearable. “Just say it.”
“I think you know why I came here.”
Her mouth tightened into a thin line. “I do.” She then looked away.
“Mr. Yang is worried, he wants to check the ste-“
Snap
She stood up in an instant, causing her book to fall into Dan Hengs lap. “That godforsaken Stellaron, I know!”
Dan Heng only looked at her, seemingly unimpressed. He was used to her outbursts. He took the book and closed it, not wanting for it to get more destroyed. Every of his moves was calculated and slow, to not bother the already enraged mouse haired individual.
Stelle clenched her fists. Her body began to shake out of anger. Or sadness. It could be both, or nothing. She hasn't felt a real emotion since losing her.
Dan Heng gave her a silent minute, not wanting for her to get more upset. He has always done it. And it always worked.
She took a deep breath. “Sorry.”
Dan Heng only gave her a small smile. “I know”, always calm and caring. He slowly raised his arm, and wrapped his hand around her fist. Stelle looked at him surprised, but visibly calmed down from his touch. Her fist got loose and slowly she accepted his hand into hers.
They both never really liked touch. Only she was able to break that barrier, making casual skinship something natural in their relationship. Now, it got weird and uncomfortable to do it on your own, when it was always she that initiated it.
But at least Dan Heng tries to make more physical contact, though he visibly never knows how he should approach it. But he still tries and Stelle deep down appreciates it.
He gently caressed and slightly pulled her down to him, making an offer for her to sit down. And she took on that offer with gratitude.
And now they were sitting in silence opposing each other. Neither of them dared to break the physical contact that provided their hands. It made Stelle feel more grounded, more at ease. It didn’t allow her to disassociate to the place she calls her head.
“I see you’ve been reading my books…” Dan Heng broke the silence, trying to get her thoughts away from the actual situation. “How did you like this one?”
She silently gazed upon the book he was still holding. It was still the one she was reading, or more flicking through the pages.
“I don’t know what it's about. Didn’t really pay attention.”
“Hmm…” He looked at her, then at the book. He turned it around to reveal the cover and its title. His brows raised.
“Oh it’s that old thing? I haven't read that in centuries.”
“I just picked it randomly from your shelf.”
He chuckled. She frowned.
He swiftly came back to his old and serious expression. However he looked as if he was uncertain of something, and Stelle noticed.
“You know… it was actually March who found it and gave it to me.”
Silence. Dan Heng sighed, he didn’t expect anything else.
“I know that it’s still hard for you to talk about her, but I can’t let her become the unspoken one on the express. It’s not something she deserves.” He tried to explain, to which he only got a slight nod. “I also don’t want you to isolate yourself.”
“I’m..I’m not isolating myself.”
They both knew that it’s a lie. A bad one at that.
It's not the first time for Dan Heng to deal with this type of situation, it has been like that since well. Since then, and it never truly got better. It made him feel helpless, but he knew that she’s feeling the same, if not worse. It’s not her fault, he always said. And he really believed in that. But Stelle didn’t.
Dan Heng scratched his head, feeling clueless at what he should do. It’s not the first time that they have had this conversation, but it still caught him in a state where he was unsure what to do.
They both had their own ways with grief, that's just how it was. Him, always unbothered and seemingly uninterested in everything, and her mostly silent, but also expressive when she felt like it.
But the true sun on the express, is now just a far memory that left them both scarred. It's something they would never say out loud, but all they could think about is… fear.
Fear of it repeating. That they would lose even more than they already did. It was infuriating in some way, making one inferior to fate that was long sealed.
Stelle sighed. Dan Heng copied her.
After some silence, Dan Heng finally took the courage to break it.
“We should go.”
He got only a nod. During a quick look at his smartphone, he sees.
March 7th