Archive of Our Own

The sun was trying to enter the room through the blinds but with them covering the window it was only the mere lines hitting the walls that made the room light up.

Birds chirped, and the soft blow of the window was the most audible thing in that moment, other than the quiet snoring beside him.

Coolment was staring at the ceiling, getting lost in the popcorn texture that he couldn’t help getting mesmerized in. It was distracting him from the pounding of his heart and the thumping he could feel from it in his ears.

He laid as stiff as a board beside Grian. Blanket over him with his arms on top holding himself there, like he was strapped down onto the bed itself. 

There was a feather somewhere in the sheets that was bothering him but he couldn’t move, something told him he shouldn’t. He knew Grian was a light sleeper and he didn’t wanna test how lightly he slept. On top of that he might be a bit hungover, and Coolment knew from experiences with Sam just how irritating they can be. 

He slowly turns his head to look at him. Coolment’s mint hair got in his way but with the bit that wasn’t obsercuring his view he could see Grian sleeping peacefully. His hair was wavy and all around his face, spread out on the pillow below him.

He couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face, he liked the warm feeling he got from just getting to see the bird beside him. He was really pretty, and it wasn’t the desperate side of him who wanted something talking anymore.

He liked him a lot.

It took an embarrassing amount of time to realize that, honestly.

Here he was, being heartbroken over Sam, who only used those feelings he had against him, when all along there was Grian who had his arms open the moment he needed someone to be there for him.

Maybe it was just kissing, slow, gentle, sweet kissing. But it meant so much more to both  of them and Coolment could tell. He just needed to wait for Grian to be awake to discuss it further.

So he laid there. 

Back pressed into Grian’s soft mattress, tail softly hitting it as it swayed with  contentment. He even softly purred, nothing like the ones he made last night when they were being messy with feelings, but sweet gentle ones that made it obvious he felt safe right now.

He yawns, tears pricking up in his eyes and he moves to wipe them away, immediately regretting it as it causes the man beside him to stir in his sleep. His ears go backwards, and he freezes.

Coolment doesn’t wanna bother him, he looks so calm right now. Eyes shut, with the lightest brush of pink on his face as his chest rises and falls with each breath he takes. 

In all honesty, he could lay like this forever. He would love to wake up to this everyday, he wouldn’t mind it…

He hates how he missed everything until now.

Year has he spent thinking that Sam would be the only person he could feel so strongly about. He thought it would be Sam that he would eventually be in this situation with, where he stares and admires his fine features and running his hand through Sam’s dark curly hair, and getting to watch as he wakes up and leans into his hand with a small smile on his face.

But that’s all a fantasy in his head.

He knew that from the start.

Sam wasn’t the type of guy to just be affectionate like that. He didn’t want Coolment because he had real feelings for him.

To Sam, Coolment was an open book. His pages spread out, with folds at the corners, and tears where he had pages torn from him unwillingly. Stains from different liquids and crumbs from people being messy.

There was not a time where Sam didn’t know how Coolment felt about him, which is just what made the cat even more desperate for his attention and love. He was being led on and he knew that and yet he still chased after Sam like he was what he wanted and more. 

Coolment’s heart felt heavy in his chest, like thinking about Sam might just be what kills him.

He wanted to enjoy whatever he had going on between him and Grian. He liked the feelings he had when he was kissing him last night. He liked how sweetly the latter leaned into him, and how gently he held his face.

Grian had a way of being able to be closer to Coolment even when it felt like there was no more room to fill between them.

He was warm in every way Sam was not, and that in general was the most comforting part about being with Grian. 

Not to be dramatic, but to be dramatic, it felt like he was a missing puzzle that Coolment had spent years trying to find to finish what he was missing. The dirty blonde was the middle part of the puzzle that had spent years being empty and filled with pieces from a different box just so he could say there was something there to make it feel complete and whole.

He stops getting lost in thought once something moves beside him, and he focuses back onto Grian.

This time being greeted by his eyes. The light from the blinds hit his irises in a way that made the green more noticeable, and then suddenly Coolment felt like he was drowning.

Genuinely if he had noticed how he felt sooner he would’ve done something.. Well, sooner.

He didn’t know if the other felt the same, or if he just did it because he felt bad but he had to at least see if it did mean anything to him.

Because now it was starting to feel like everything.

It was like seeing a gorgeous painting for the first time, seeing the brush strokes, and admiring the colors an artist used to create the piece in front of you. Except there was no canvas, and there wasn’t an artist, and it was just Grian.

With his bed head, and his droopy tired eyes, and his small smile on his face, with the soft blush on his cheeks.

Coolment didn’t know how he looked, but he was sure it was similar to how Grian was.

He smiled at the blonde, “G’morning.”

Grian shut his eyes as he inhaled slowly, opening them again as he rolled over onto his back with his exhale. “Good morning..” He reciprocated. 

His wings were now laid out below him, but tucked in closer to not take up too much of Coolment’s side of the bed. 

They sat there quietly for what felt like hours, but in reality it was only a couple of minutes.

“How was your sleep?” Grian asked as he turned his head to face the mint haired boy.

“Could’ve been worse.” Coolment said with a shrug, “You?”

The bird shrugged aswell, running a hand through his hair before crossing his arms across his chest. “About the same I suppose..”

The silence envelopes them once more, it being just as comforting as the first time. They didn’t need words to make the room feel light and full of care.

A couple of minutes pass, both boys unsure of how many, before they hear something outside in the hall.

Coolment sits up, swearing under his breath and Grian follows him slowly as he yawns, taking this opportunity to stretch his muscles and wings. 

“I think Sam woke up..” The catboy muttered, as he moved to hang his legs on the side of the bed, his feet barely touching the floor. “I.. Uh..”  He pauses, he doesn’t wanna say he has to go, because he technically doesn’t, Sam doesn’t own him and he doesn’t owe Sam anything back. But it was instinct to go to the rabbit’s aid.

He was always there when Sam woke up from his drunken state. In the last few years of this common occurrence has there been a time when Coolment wasn’t there to greet him when he woke up the next morning to help with his head aches, and his dry mouth.

Coolment brought him water and medicine to ease the aching.

This time though, he isn’t there. Obviously.

This time he wants to keep being beside Grian, because they have so much to discuss, but from the heavy footsteps outside, and clearly frustrated grumbles outside the room, Coolment had to go. 

He met eyes with the dirty blonde, and before he could continue his sentence Grian spoke first.

“It’s ok.” He said simply.

Coolment wants to retaliate and say something like that he won’t and Sam can do it himself but.. He doesn’t.

“Ok..” 

Grian blinked, keeping his eyes shut for a moment longer than usual before he turned away and inhaled slowly. 

That was his sign to leave, he guessed. 

He stood up, stretching with his arms going over his head as he sleepily walked around the bed to the door of the room. 

Opening the door he is met with the empty hallway once again, this time from a different angle. For a moment he hesitates, he doesn’t wanna go, he wants to stay and continue whatever comforting silence they had going on, but he was sorta needed elsewhere. 

He walked down the hall to his bedroom door, peeking inside to see if Sam had decided to go back to sleep but from how he was nowhere to be seen he ventured off to find where he had wandered off to.

It didn’t take long to find him, their place wasn’t big enough for him to be anywhere else other than the kitchen or living room, and he definitely wouldn’t go outside for any reason, unless it was job related or they had to go shopping for groceries. 

Sam stayed put for the most part.

So it didn’t come as a surprise when Coolment found him on the couch. He looked half asleep, and yet somehow he found enough energy in himself to look pissed off.

“Hey dude” He greeted, approaching the couch slowly.

Sam rolled his eyes, “Don’t hey dude me, Coolment.”

He sighed, rubbing a hand down his face, he was starting to feel his own exhaustion set in again, unlike earlier when he felt fine. “Sorry.. I know I left you alone.”

The rabbit hummed, glaring up at the cat. “Left me alone to go see somebody else.” He emphasized, as he moved to sit up.

Coolment tried to ignore whatever frustration he was starting to feel, he didn’t wanna start an argument with Sam so early in the morning, especially since their other roommates were trying to get their rest. 

“So what’d you guys do?” Sam looked at him with raised brow.

“What sort of question is that..?” The mint haired boy deadpanned, his ears noticeably flicking in an uncomfortable manner. He narrowed his eyes at the rabbit before gritting his teeth and turning away as he folded his arms across his front. “Besides you don’t gotta know anyway.”

The brunette scoffed as he sat up properly, “Boooring.” He yawned, scratching the back of his head.

“It’s not really something I should just be saying to people.” Coolment shrugged, hands moving to hold his forearms. 

“So you can’t tell me?” Sam said, “I’m your best friend aren’t I?”

The catboy can feel his tail’s swaying slowly come to a stop. 

Sam was bestfriends with a lot of people, since he used that excuse to get anything out of anyone more times than one could count on their two hands. It was his way of hoaxing someone into telling him something.

Not everyone falls for it, because Sam isn’t as much of a master mind as he thinks he is. But it normally works when he tries to get Coolment to tell him something. 

This time though that wasn’t gonna happen. This time is different, it isn’t just his but Grian’s ‘secret’ and just going around telling somebody wasn’t something he wanted to do.

He wanted Grian to trust him, not ruin what they’ve got building just because Sam told him to spill what happened last night.

“I really shouldn’t tell you.” He says sternly.

The swap of expression Sam does as he’s denied access to what happened sends shivers down Coolment’s spine. He sharply inhales, exhaling as he goes to turn around.

“I’m gonna get you that headache medicine, ok?” He says from over his shoulder as he tries to leave the room to their bathroom where they kept medication in a little cabinet. 

He can hear Sam’s begrudgingly hum in acknowledgement and he accepts that as the end to that specific conversation.

He walked into the bathroom and found the ibuprofen not bothering to even take the amount of pills Sam liked taking while hungover out and leaving with the whole bottle in his hand.

Once he was back Sam was in the kitchen already grabbing a cup, he groaned with annoyance as he rubbed his temples. 

Coolment set the medicine on the table, letting Sam do his thing slowly and by time he’s done it’s felt like it’s been ages.

“All good?” He asked, he felt sort of rushed, like he had more important things to get to, which was true and also not true. Grian was important, totally. 

Sam didn’t need to know that though, even if he was already suspicious of them. 

Annoyed, Sam glared at him again. “Sure.” He said as he set his glass onto the table and walked off back to the couch, immediately finding the remote and turning on their TV.

“Cool.” He quickly smiled at him as he tried to get back to Grian.

He didn’t know if the dirty blonde would let him back in, but he sure hoped he would.

He missed getting to be so close to him.

Unfortunately, before he could get anywhere near escaping Sam, he is called out again.

“What’s he got that I don’t?” He asked suddenly, causing Coolment to freeze in his tracks.

“Huh?” He glanced at him, keeping his gaze mostly focused on the hallway.

“Grian.” Sam started simply, “What happened to that little crush you had on me?”

Coolment almost laughed, what came out instead was a breathy chuckle that could’ve been excused as a gasp if no one knew any better. “What are you on about?” He said, shifting his body to face a bit towards the brunette now.

“Don’t play dumb Coolment, you know what I’m talking about.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“No I really don’t.”  He said through a clenched jaw, and tried to ignore the tension in his shoulders.

The rabbit scoffed, obviously annoyed with him, still he persisted. “Recently you’ve been all heart eyes with Grian. You think I didn’t notice that?”

Coolment feels his heart sink into the bottom of his stomach, Sam knew? He noticed? He knew before he even knew..?

He goes to say something but Sam cuts him off.

“You’re so painfully obvious with this sort of thing! Did you not notice?” He said in a mocking tone.

The cat shook his head, clearly he didn’t notice. He only just now noticed.

How long has Sam known, and did the others know too? Did Grian know?

Well he’s got to know now since last night happened.

If Sam noticed then how long has he known about this? And why didn’t he say something sooner?

“God you look pathetic standing there with your tail between your legs.” Sam laughs, “I suppose I can’t do much now. You’ve moved on from whatever puppy crush you had on me.”

Coolment looks away from him, feeling too conflicted at the moment to say anything. He didn’t understand.

How oblivious could he be?

He blocked out whatever else Sam was saying to him, he didn’t wanna hear it. He had far too much on his mind now to care.

He just wanted to get back to Grian now.

To get back to the quiet of his room, and lay next to him, and enjoy the warmth he brings into the bed.

Suddenly there's someone else in the room, an arm wraps around his waist and pulls him close as whoever says something snappy at Sam and the room goes quiet.

He hadn’t realized he had tears on his face until then. He supposed his emotions got the better of him.

He was the emotional one out of all of his roommates. He knew that, they knew that, Grian.. knew that.

When he focuses back on what was happening around him, he can see Sam standing up now, closer than he was earlier when he was just on the couch.

Grian is arguing with him though.

“You can’t keep treating him like he’s a puppet you can toy with, Sam!” He said, wings fluffing up as his emotions got more heated.

Coolment looked down at him, he was on his side . Grian chose to fight for him . 

Something in his stomach flutters and he can’t help the loopy smile in his face for a short moment before it’s ruined once Sam is talking again.

“Then tell him to get himself together! We can’t keep dancing around him like he isn’t an open book!” He points an accusatory finger at Coolment. 

Grian steps back, removing his arm from around Coolment to the front of him to be more like a shield. “We wouldn’t have this problem if you didn’t use his feelings against him!”

Sam scoffs, “And what are you doing then?” 

The dirty blonde pauses, his wings drooping downward as a sign to show he’s now distressed or conflicted.

“I..” He mumbles, struggling to say something knowing that the mint hair boy was there to hear him. “I.. I’m doing it because… I..”

The pause makes Coolment’s ears ring, he didn’t wanna hear this right now. He wanted to talk about all of this stuff in private where Grian and him could get it off their chest together.

 Now they were just getting it forced out of them again.

Grian’s feathers bristle, clearly he has some choice words to say to Sam but he bites his tongue.

“I- I don’t gotta tell you anything.” He said.

He turned to Coolment and took his hand, squeezing it tightly and taking a step to leave but Sam stops them again.

“Woah woah! Don’t think you guys can just dip and go back to your ‘happily ever after’” He said in that mocking tone again.

He reaches for the cat boy's hand but is immediately rejected as he pulls away quickly.

Coolment looked at him with round eyes, looking him up and down, sizing him up and trying to figure out how or why he was so attached to him before. 

Sam was just a normal dude. He didn’t have much going on for him outside of being good looking. 

Unlike Grian who was studying architecture.

Honestly he spent all of highschool fawning over him when all he was good for was knowing how to take control of a situation.

Grian continued to walk back to his room the moment Coolment pulled away from Sam.

Who hesitated to follow but ultimately he gave up by scoffing and going back to the couch.

He didn’t care, but he acted like he did.

That’s how he got to Coolment.

He pretended to care about the little things a lot so he could keep the mint haired boy around his finger. 

He shook his head, trying to clear it as he looked back towards Grian.

He was opening his bedroom door again, pushing it with his shoulder as it was unfastened from its lock. 

He turned to look up at Coolment and the soft smile that appeared on his face almost made the cat melt into a puddle on the ground.

“Are you okay?” He asks, reaching a hand up to cup his face, he also brushes some hair out of the way of his eyes, and instinctively the cat leans into him like he’s been waiting to be held so gently again.

Which is kind of true? He’s just wanted to be around him since they woke up this morning. 

He can’t help the purr that escapes him and he can’t help the ones that come after once he hears Grian chuckle lightly at him.

“I’ll take that as you are now?” He says, looking up at Coolment with glossy eyes. 

He looked like he was worried about him.

Rightfully so, moments ago he was crying and trying to keep himself composed. He could only do that for so long though. 

“Mhm..” He hummed, putting a hand on top of Grian’s, rubbing his thumb over the bird's knuckles.

“Jeez..” The dirty blonde mutters, putting his other hand on the other side of the latter’s face. “I.. really wanna kiss you right now, is that ok?”

Coolment gasps softly before he nods and whispers an “Ok.” Back.

Grian leans forward, stepping onto his tiptoes, he pauses just before their lips meet. “You sure?”

“Very.”

He leaned up and they kissed.

Much like last night it was slow and steady, like they were trying to test the limitations of the other’s boundaries. 

Coolment’s hand found their way to hug him around the torso, bringing him closer just so he can feel his body heat radiate off of him.

He hums, enjoying and embracing everything that was happening at the moment. He liked the gentle hands on his face moving to play with his hair. He liked the quiet chirping sounds that came from the other as he enjoyed this as well.

He smiled as they pulled away from each other for air.

Grian round eyed and face dark shade of red now.

The sun was still in the window, shining onto his features and making Coolment go weak in the knees from just the sight of him.

He admired Grian’s smile, and appreciated the warmth of his hands, and loved the softness of his lips.

He could be there forever, getting to stand there with him like nothing else mattered and it was just them two, suddenly caring for each other.

The dirty blonde moved his hands away, the mint cat following his lead and unwrapping his arms from around him. The soft sweet smile on his face faded into a more serious expression, and quickly the cat caught on. 

“We need to.. Talk.” Grian said, looking over his shoulder at his bed before turning fulling and sitting down on it. 

“Oh yeah..” Coolment muttered, sitting beside him and fidgeting with his hands immediately.

“We gotta talk about this .” He stated, looking at his hands like they were the most interesting thing now.

The cat can’t help but think they were. They were gentle but somehow rough from him constantly on that architec grind, and they brought so much comfort.

“Ok.” He agreed, of course, if he didn’t then he would’ve ruined this moment.

Grian sighed, glancing up at Coolment as his wings retract to stretch and fold in again.

“I’ve kind of known for a while..” He said, fixating on his palms once more. “That you like me I mean.” He confirmed nervously.

Coolment nods, knowing he couldn’t see it at the moment. “Really?”

How was he so oblivious? Did everyone but him know this piece of information?

“Yeah..” Grian chuckled, looking at him finally, “I didn’t say anything because I wanted to figure myself out first, I needed time to process it all and I.. I guess last night was when I finally pinned the tail on the donkey?” He joked, trying to fill the now nearly thick tension with something light hearted.

“Gods.. That is..” Coolment’s words die as he feels feathers brush against him, he glances over and Grian’s wings have expanded again, this time not to stretch by to just rest open for once. He stops his speaking to admire his feather pattern, they weren’t sure what breed of bird he was but he was something, and the only thing the cat thought was about how beautiful and mesmerizing they were. He shakes his head, clearing his throat. “Uh.. It sucks that I didn’t notice sooner..”

“Hey don’t worry! We have it now don’t we?” Grian reassured, taking his hands and squeezing them tightly as they twist their fronts to each other. 

Coolment nods, he was right. 

Except he had another question that needed answers quickly.

“How long did you know?” He asked.

Grian pursed his lips, his grip on his hands tightening for a second before he softens the hold again and lightly chuckles. “About 2 months? So it hasn’t been long. In my opinion it’s been obvious since you started to hang around me more..” 

“Really? I wish I had noticed, I think it would’ve helped everything so much..” Coolment runs a hand through his hair as Grian lets them go. 

“It’s fine.” The blonde told him in a stern tone, “Really if I was ready and knowing of what I know now I wouldn’t have not told you or at least called you out until now.”

“I.. suppose you are right.” He nods.

Grian hums, wings pulling back in as he hesitates to speak again.

“What’s wrong?” Coolment asked, his eyes going round with curiosity.

“You.. are.. So good, Mint.” He said sweetly, a tiredness in his voice, he took a deep breath shutting his eyes while he took this pause in their conversation to flop backwards onto his bed. “I mean like.. You’re a good person.”

He still looks pretty no matter how tired he looked, the mint haired boy wouldn’t even mind getting to see him every morning honestly. 

The cat boy flops next to him after another minute of silence. 

“I like you, Grian.” He whispered to the bird who had his eyes shut now.

“I like you too, Coolment.” 

They turned to each other, Grian opening his eyes partially, lifting his hand and holding the other’s face and moving them closer together.

Their noses brushed against each other for a moment, they froze staring at the other with tired eyes. 

Coolment admired how Grian’s eyes looked almost brown now, stormy maybe a better word for it. 

His heart beat was going into his ears, and his face felt so warm he knew it was noticeably, but the blonde looked about the same. Face red and if he wasn’t so enamored with how badly he wanted to kiss him he would’ve assumed the pounding wasn’t just his heart.

Grian leaned in closer, tilting his head up so it wasn’t awkward as their lips met slowly.

This time there was no desperation, or want for something to fill a void someplace else. Coolment wanted this. He wanted to enjoy this moment for as long as Grian would have him and he kind of hoped it would be forever, even if commitment were horrifying. 

He let himself drown into whatever pool of affection he was being dragged into, putting his hands of either side of Grian’s face letting himself purr as they moved positions.

The blonde now in his lap, straddling him and trying to curtain them both with his wings.

It was cute how he tried and failed because of how small they still were. 

Coolment chuckled as they pulled away to get some air into their lungs. He let Grian roll his eyes at him before going in to kiss him quickly.

It was a peck to his lips before he laid his head back. The bird sitting up and fixing his hair for him again but combing it with his fingers. 

He hesitated for a moment, the cat boy noticing as his knuckles brushed against his ears slightly. They twitch at the sudden sensation but Coolment tilts his head so they can lean onto his hand.

“They aren’t sensitive, y'know..” He murmured, watching Grian intently. 

“No I know..” He chuckled lightly, hesitating again but gently brushing the back side of his hand on his ears to fix the hair that was placed weirdly. “I just didn’t wanna do it without permission. Sam doesn’t.. uh like it when people just touch his.”

Coolment hums, closing his eyes and focusing on how gently Grian messes with his hair. It was like he was legitimately trying to brush it with just his hands and it was comforting. 

If he was an actual cat this would’ve been the equivalent to getting groomed by a mother cat. 

Except his hands didn’t feel like sandpaper.

“You're very handsome, Coolment.” Grian says before stumbling over his words and removing his hands from his hair, making the former frown. “Sorry.. That was out of nowhere” He rubs the back of his neck, clearing his throat.

“It’s ok” The mint haired boy laughs, “Call me whatever you want.” He moves his hands to intertwine with the other’s and again they stare at each other. 

The silence of the room makes only their breathing audible, it's so quiet though that if you even dared move you’d miss it. 

Grian sighed, his wings going back to being folded up. “We should probably get ready for the day.” 

He got off of Coolment’s lap, getting out of his bed and finding his way into a drawer of his dresser. He takes out a pair of jeans as he takes a moment to glance at the other before starting to undress.

His pajama pants are thrown somewhere as he pulls his jeans up and starts to button and zip the fly.

Coolment didn't look, far too embarrassed to even attempt to take a glimpse. He sat up, facing the opposite way from the blonde.

Grian opened another drawer digging out a shirt to wear. “I don’t think you need to borrow anything since you live here, and plus you’re almost a foot taller than me.. Soooo taking my clothes is like shopping for children for you.” He shrugged, pulling his shirt off, his feathers russling, then he put on his new shirt. 

Each shirt he had was fit so he could have slits in the back for his wings, which would’ve made it more weird to borrow clothes from him. 

Coolment didn’t mind going back to his room, he had to fix his bed from Sam staying there last night anyway. Plus hope it didn’t reek of alcohol.

He stood up, going to the door to leave. 

Grian follows him as he walks back to his room.

They could hear Taurtis in the living room with Sam, the conversation not tangible from how far they are but they could assume it wasn’t about this morning and their argument.

Coolment went into his room, Grian standing at the doorway watching silently as the cat went to his closet and changed his shirt to his usual hoodie with just a random top below it. 

His sweats were replaced with jeans, that were almost long enough for him but they were barely reaching his ankle.

It looked awkward so he put socks on just so it wasn’t as noticeable.

After finishing up he meets the dirty blonde at the door and they stop there, kissing quickly before he is asked : “Do you wanna go out?” 

Smiling he pulled Grian into a hug, nuzzling into his neck, “Sure.. Why not.”