Work Text:
He woke up to the stench of alcohol and someone cold beside him.
By now he knew who it was but it didn't make it any less unnerving. Sam had the tendency to do whatever he wanted when drunk, and Coolment was the target of those affections.
Nothing seriously bad happened but Sam liked hugging, but it always left Coolment wishing it was like this when he wasn’t drunk.
Coolment listened to his snores for a minute, it was calming getting to just lay there with Sam as if it were anything more than just him being too drunk to want to be alone, then he gently pushed him off and being silent as he stood up and left the room slowly shutting the door behind him.
Outside he immediately saw the kitchen lights on.
Someone was awake.
Walking into the kitchen he was met with the sight of Grian cleaning up after their roommate, or both of them. He was clearly a bit drunk as well.
“Неу.” Coolment spoke hesitantly. Grian jumped as he whipped around to see who was there, eyes wide and surprised.
"Oh.. Hey.” He sighed, he looked tired again as he went back to cleaning. Movements slow and labored.
"Need any help?" The cat offered.
“No thanks.” Grian said, putting the half empty bottle of liquor into the fridge.
Coolment approached taking cups off the table. "You sure? I can wash the dishes so you can go to sleep.”
The blonde scoffed, wings stretching to the widest they could go, which wasn’t very wide at all, as he turned to look at the other. “It’s fine, I can do it myself.”
He stood up and knocked his head on the fridge he swore under his breath as he rubbed the spot that got hit. Coolment shook his head as he put the dishes into the sink and then went to help Grian sit down at the table.
“Just sit here, I’ll do the dishes and you can drink some water, because gods know you need to sober up.” He patted his shoulder and quickly moved around the kitchen to find a clean cup to fill up with water. Setting it down in front of Grian he went back to the sink to start washing the other cups from before.
He stood there with a sponge in his hand and the sink running with warm water as he scrubbed each glass to get the smell of alcohol off.
Grian sat quietly behind him, staring ominously. Coolment couldn’t help but smile at the thought of how pissed he must be at him for taking care of everything for him instead of just letting him do it.
The room was so silent the moment Coolment finished washing the dishes, it almost felt like no one was in the kitchen anymore.
Silently with his tail swaying to whatever song he thought of in his head, he started to dry the cups and put them into the cabinet they were supposed to be assigned to.
After a painfully long ten minutes Grian spoke.
“Thanks..” He mumbled, chugging his water.
Coolment laughed lightly, sitting down at the table now. “No problem.” He shrugged.
“Feeling any more sober?” He asked looking at Grian who looked mesmerized by the cup in his hands. “Grian?”
The bird blinked and his eyes shifted up to look at him. “Hm?”
“Are you ok?” Coolment could feel the flick of his tail as he started to get concerned.
Grian nodded, “Yeah- Yeah I’m fine.” He replied, pushing his chair back and standing up. “I’m gonna go to bed now.”
He started to walk away, cup still in his wobbly hands. Something in Coolment’s chest started to feel like it was burning, he couldn’t figure out what but he didn’t need to when he reached for Grian’s wrist and stopped him suddenly.
They looked at each other, Grian looked like a tired dog and Coolment like a cat who just took too much catnip. Eyes blown and round, both of them sharing confusion.
He didn’t know why he did that so he retracted his hand immediately.
“Sorry..” He muttered, ears pinning back.
“It’s ok.” The other mumbled back, the flap of his wings filling the room as he brought them to fold into a smaller size on his back.
Even though that just happened and immediately was over, Grian didn’t leave yet. He stood there in silence looking down at Coolment as if trying to figure out how to read him.
If he didn’t know any better, Coolment would’ve assumed he was reading him. Like he was a big wide billboard on the side of the road that was screaming to the world every inner thought he had.
Grian had that kind of effect on people, he could tell what was going on in their heads just as easily as their old classmate Ellen could.
That’s what made him special.
“Wanna.. Uh.. Come to my room?” Grian said finally.
Coolment could feel his face get warm as he swallowed down whatever was lodged in his throat as he nodded.
“Sure..” He said with a wobble to his voice, he shrugged. “Why not.”
Grian nodded, hesitating to put out a hand for him to take, but he did and Coolment took it into his own.
The blonde led the way to his room, past Sam’s empty one, past Taurtis’, past Coolment’s own that Sam occupied.
All the way down the hall to Grian’s where he turned to Coolment and put a hand on one side of his face. The expression he had was so clearly exhausted and needing sleep but it didn’t stop him from also looking half lidded up at the other as he stepped onto the tips of his feet to kiss him.
Both of their eyes fluttered shut in an instant.
The kiss was slow and steady, and with the hand on the side of his face Coolment couldn’t help but lean in closer, tilting his head to fit in just right.
Grian hummed softly as he stopped holding his hand to find the door knob to his room.
He twisted it slowly, hearing the click to indicate that it was unfastened and he used his foot to push the door open.
Feeling awkward by not putting his hands anywhere, Coolment took this chance of Grian leaning in closer to him by gently placing his hands onto his hips, then without really thinking about it he gently rubbed the part of skin his thumbs were on.
Again, Grian hummed as he pulled back and took a swallow breath. His arms wrapped around his neck as he pulled him into the bedroom.
Reconnecting their lips.
Just like before he led the way to their next destination.
They stumbled onto Grian’s bed, Coolment moving quickly to put his hands on either side of body, his tail going back and forth as they kept kissing.
For a moment he imagines this is Sam underneath him. Pinned to the bed, taking deep breaths each time they pulled apart. Humming contently against his lips, enjoying himself as Coolment just got to put all of his feelings into each kiss.
He wished Grian felt just as freezing as Sam did, then this would be exactly what he wanted and more.
Pulling away, Coolment nuzzles into the side of Grian’s shoulder. He hums sweetly, eyes still shut as he softly kisses all around his neck. But he doesn’t leave any marks.
Grian, with his arms still wrapped around his shoulders, runs his fingers through his curly hair.
This was nice, the gentle touch of Grian’s hands in his hair, moving slowly as Coolment continued to press his lips to his skin. Getting to be so close to a person was almost as intoxicating as the alcohol he could still taste on his lips when they were kissing.
He pulled away to look down at Grian once again and he smiled softly.
Grian looked up at him, eyes round and glossy, still breathing shallowly trying to catch his breath.
“Fuck..” He whispered, eyes shutting again. His face was flushed a light shade of red.
Honestly? He was pretty.
His hair was messy and spread out on the pillow below him, and his lips were swollen. Grian looked irresistible.
He wasn’t Sam, but he was enough to feed into the hungry desire he had to be loved by someone so obviously would not ever love him too.
So freely Grian kissed him.
Seamlessly did he catch on to how desperate Coolment was to show someone physical affections.
It was almost heart aching how he could just let people walk all over him and also somehow stand his ground when he wanted to. He was bold and persistent but he still let himself be used as a rug to be stepped all over.
A horrible concept and that broke Coolment’s heart in every edge and corner imaginable.
They sat there silently, Grian trying to catch his breath as Coolment tried to control the purring that wanted to erupt out of himself.
Somehow he felt absolutely enamored with the other.
Coolment leaned down and kissed him again, only a small peck to his lips, nothing crazy, and quickly he pulled away. He moved to the other side of the bed, eyes still glued to Grian who was following him by sitting up.
His wings stretched a bit before pulling back in as he crawled into Coolment’s lap.
Immediately he cupped his face in his hands and kissed him once again. Grian shut his eyes and let Coolment take most of the control over him, he did his usual sweet hum.
Both of them moved so desperately as they continued to kiss one another. It was frantic now, like they were trying to find an end goal to this but they both secretly knew that the end would be the tension between them the moment they both agreed to stop.
It felt almost unreal now.
Something in the pit of Coolment’s stomach twisted and turned, and suddenly he was tearing up having to pull away to catch his breath as tears welled up and started to drip down his cheeks. Grian followed his lips for a beat before retracting as he stared at the cat boy wiping his face.
“Are you ok?” He asks, rubbing his thumbs gently on his cheeks to comfort him.
Coolment shakes his head, he felt so conflicted, he wanted Sam so badly but the pain of knowing he would never want him back was now eating him alive. Then here was Grian just throwing himself at him like he was obligated to do something for him in return for washing those dishes earlier.
And on top of all of that he wasn’t entirely sober.
He wasn’t in the right head to be making decisions and now Coolment felt guiltier than he had in years.
He wanted to cry harder but he was taught at a young age that crying wasn’t always the best option, even while living with Sam and the other’s he was told crying was a sign of weakness.
Grian leaned in close again and kissed his cheek, still trying his best to comfort him but he wasn’t really sure how to do it. He hesitated for a moment as he tried to think of something to do. Coolment looked like a mess, face flushed, and hair crazy from all of the messing with, his tears were still slowly dripping down his face, and he hiccuped with every other breath he took.
Coolment tried to lean into his hands, the warmth being far too comforting for him to resist.
He couldn’t tell whether or not what he was feeling was genuine anymore.
He’s liked Sam for so long he doesn’t know if what he feels is still the same or if it’s just him trying to not accept that he no longer has those same feelings like before.
Grian then hugged him, whatever crazy tension between them from before dissipating. Coolment tried to keep in the emotions he was experiencing but all of the sudden affection, that wasn’t just trying to feed something within himself, turned into more like a wave of distraught.
The tears he had welling up were now streaming down like waterfalls, out of embarrassment or maybe shame, he tried to hold his breath to stop it all.
Being seen in a spot of vulnerability while the person trying to comfort you was once also in that same position in a different sense was confusing and more overwhelming than it should be.
Grian hugged him tighter, not saying a single word the entire time.
Coolment quickly hugged him back, needing him to be somehow closer to him. He needed to be close to a person radiating heat, that was comforting.
Maybe deep down the coldness of Sam’s body wasn’t what he wanted.
He wanted to be able to just be felt by a person like it was a natural thing to do. Like how Sam treated him like a body pillow to cuddle with when he got so black out drunk.
Coolment liked being wanted by Sam in any state of mind because that was how it was meant to be in his head.
He was meant to be held by someone willing enough to hold him.
He was meant to be loved.
But not by Sam .
He had to get over himself. This obsession he had on the rabbit was exhausting him to an extreme level.
He tried to take a deep breath. He had to calm down, being like this in front of Grian of all people was more embarrassing than he thought it would be. He pulled him closer, forehead pressing against the blonde’s shoulder.
He didn’t understand why this boiling in his chest was starting to spill over so suddenly, but there was something now blooming in his chest like a garden of flowers. Petals folding over eachother trying to build a soft wall to protect the heart that was now starting to feel like it was being pieced together with paste and tape.
It felt like hours by the time he finally stopped crying. In reality it was only a couple of more minutes but it was fair enough to let him at least think that Grian held him for so long.
He didn’t deserve that. Grian shouldn’t be obligated to even be there to comfort him, he didn’t know that would happen, if anything he had it in his head that Coolment just wanted one thing, something to forget about Sam just for the night.
Grian yawned, making Coolment suddenly aware of his chin being on top of his head, a small smile lifted his lips as he turned to look up a bit. They didn’t make eye contact but Coolment knew that the other took note of what he was doing.
He let his ears lift a bit, a quiet rumble erupting from his throat. Breathily, Coolment chuckles, “sorry..”
Grian, moving back a bit to actually look at him directly, smiled at him just before laughing quietly at him. “Did you just purr?”
Coolment could feel his face get warm again. He shakes his head, leaning away from Grian’s chest that was probably a tad damp from his crying. “No.” He scowled, looking away from the latter’s dark eyes.
“Pfft- No- No, you totally did!” Grian gawked, putting a hand in front of his face to hide his smile from him. The catboy frowns, his tail flicking sadly.
“It doesn’t matter.” He muttered, taking his shaky hands and gently intertwining their fingers together. “I.. I’m sorry that it turned out like this.. I kind of got overwhelmed?” His eyes shifted up, and tried to ignore the turning of his stomach the moment he saw Grian already looking back.
“You’re all good,” Grian squeezed his hand, “Don’t worry about it ok?”
“Ok..” Coolment smiled, not being able to help the swaying of his tail now. Sometimes it just had the mind of its own, and right now it wanted to show off the happy and comforting feelings he was having.
Leaning closer to the former's face again, Grian asks in a whisper. “Do you wanna continue what we were doing..?”
He still had tons of things on his mind, but right now the blonde still in his lap was willing to clear his head for the night and Coolment couldn’t lose that.
So he leaned up closer and kissed him again.