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The world is boring.
Okay, so maybe not really. There are definitely some exciting things that happen, from time to time. He’s certain of it! The only problem is? None of those things are happening to him. He mulls the thought of boredom over even as he eats and the ogre who seems to think that his opinion is anything less than trivial speaks up from the corner he’s been leaning in.
“Koenma, sir.” Jorge starts. There’s none of the nervous tittering that he’d had the first several dozen years together. “Have you thought that maybe - you’re lonely?” He has both eyes averted so he doesn’t have to see his boss’ face as he asks the question.
Koenma freezes with a deep fried crab halfway to his mouth, his own eyes comically wide as he stares at his underling. “I - you - “ He sputters, indignant. “I see people! I know. People!” He sounds ridiculous even to his own ears and the thought of that just makes him more annoyed. “Why on Earth would I be lonely, ogre? I’ve been this way for my entire life!”
Only, that isn’t necessarily true. He’s always had a detective around to keep things interesting. But he’d promised himself after Yusuke, that he wouldn’t do something like that again. It got too risky as time went on, especially now with how blurred and faded the lines had become along the edges. Theoretically he knew that when the next tournament showed up, Urameshi would as well - but that wasn’t for at least two years yet, and oddly the boy - no, man, he corrects himself - has been quiet and domestic, serving noodles at a roadside cart downtown.
Okay. So Koenma keeps tabs on him. What of it? The man had only helped save humanity half a dozen times. He deserved someone watching his back!
Jorje gives him a rather dull ‘I told you so’ look before returning to watch the security screens that cover the front wall of the room. “Koenma sir, I know you didn’t ask for nor do you care about my opinion but don’t you think it’s time?”
“Time for what?” He asks, stubornly refusing to play along.
“Time for you to call him.”
“No, ogre, I’m not going to call him. I told him three years ago when we walked away that it would be the last time we’d see eachother. I put him through enough he doesn’t need me waltzing around his life, disturbing his peace.” It’s one of the nicest things the brat has ever said, Jorge thinks. It’s also incredibly stupid.
“Sir if Yusuke wanted to forget about everything that had happened he wouldn’t go up to Genkai’s temple on his weekends off, or spend every Friday night with Kuwabara or let Hiei crash on his couch.” The ogre says, rolling his eyes so hard he’s halfway certain that they’re going to fall clean out of his head. “Just talk to him! Botan does!”
“Botan does what?” The girl asks. Both men - well, toddler and monster - jump half a foot in the air as the blue haired girl breezes through the door. Her oar is slung casually over her left shoulder, and her hair is tugged into an odd ponytail as opposed to her usual style. It’s her human world getup.
“Botan hangs out with Yusuke and his friends.” Koenma deadpans back at her.
She laughs, nervously, and shrugs. “No mostly Keiko and Shizuru. What? Oh don’t give me that look. When you’ve been through as much as we all have it’s impossible not to stay friends! Why do you care anyway, sir, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“The Ogre thinks I’m lonely.” He replies, keeping his tone neutral.
Botan’s eyes light up.
It’s never a good sign. “Awe, Koenma sir if you get lonely all you need to do is ask to see them! I’m sure they would love to catch up with you.”
“But?” He prompts, hearing the unspoken word.
“But I know you’re a busy man, so I’ll give you these and just let you be thankful that I saved them for a rainy day!” She chirps, swinging the massive purse off her shoulder and proceeding to dig through it. He waits, impatiently, and can’t help the way he gapes when she produces one of the two remaining Communication Mirrors from within the depths. “We all have cell phone or pagers down there, now, so we don’t need these. But Yusuke still keeps his! I think it reminds him of everything. You know he does miss you right?” She leans close as she drops the little compact into his hand. “Have fun, sir. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”
And then she’s gone, like always, the list of things he’d made for her gone as well.
Damn, but she’s good at her job.
“Koenma sir?” Jorge soudns worried now. “You have that...look on your face.”
“What look?” He asks, maniacal grin growing wider. Jorge swallows and used the claws of his index fingers to force a frown onto his own face. “Oh that look. Yes, ogre, that’s right. Remember that movie we watched a few weeks ago?”
“With the two human girls?”
“Yes, that one. Remember what they did with the phones? The - prank calling?”
“Sir, no.”
“Sir, yes.” Koenma chirps back. “So, what do you think. Tsunami? Makai insects? The Toguro’s?” He’s snickering as he asks.
It takes two hours and a portal that Botan didn’t want to open - and then there’s a hole in his wall. Koenma barely ducks behind his desk - adult, now, because there’s no need waiting for Yusuke’s stupid diaper jokes, he’s quite too old for it now thank you - as a piece of concrete goes flying.
The hole is...ridiculous. Too much - way too much. Koenma pokes his head up enough to see one of his monitors fizzle, crack, then pop as it falls off the opposite wall.
“You - there’s no one here!” Yusuke sounds offended and affronted, stomping through the ruins he’s created. He drops his fists onto his hips, forcing his energy to withdraw back into his hands. “Koenma you little shit - what the Hell?! We could have seriously caused some damage!”
Kurama opens his mouth to reply that they had indeed already caused some damage but decides against it. Yusuke looks like he’s going to have a fit, and it’s just not worth the energy this early on a Saturday.
Koenma’s own voice rises to argue back and the rest of the group tunes it out.
Just like old times.