Chapter Text
Test Subject #00001
A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion fan-created fiction
[For reference, MC is 24 y/o]
— — — —
Rumors about the surface always bothered Evelyn. She hears tons of fishy stories on the force and from veterans, describing what the surface was like, and who lived there. Apparently, a big war happened about 100 years ago that forced her kind underground, but some members of her society escaped against all odds, and found their way to the surface.
At least, that's what everyone thinks.
— — — — — — — —
“I don't like this, Ev… Can we go back?”
“No. Absolutely not. You agreed to this, remember? Want me to put you through boot camp again, hm?”
“N-No! I'm just scared…”
“That's what I thought. Spoiled brat…”
When given the opportunity to investigate the recent disappearance of the majority of Octavio's troops, Evelyn was more than glad to accept the risky mission. Which, of course, involved her disgraceful and pathetic brother, Akira. Akira was brought in by uncle's money, and had no idea what the hell he was actually doing. All for the sake of ‘publicity’. It's all trivial gibberish.
“Where are we…?”
They had now come across a metropolitan underground railway station, and a sign on the center platform reading:
“Line A00: Central Station”
Very basic, it seems. The tracks have quite a bit of surface rust, but are still very much functional. Thankfully Evelyn had a good eye, something she was taught that was important in combat. Once Evelyn and Akira had reached the center platform, two subway trains went by, going much faster than what would normally be allowed for such a boxed-in space.
They watched the trains go by, one going north and one heading south.
Akira jumped, scared by the sudden noise of the steel wheels grinding against the iron rails as the train that was due north came to a screeching halt.
“Weird…”
Evelyn whispered to herself. She then felt a tap on her elbow.
“S-Sis? What's… that?”
He pointed to a telephone on a post in the middle of the train platform. It looked like it was just put there, despite it being there when they first arrived in this place. It had a spotlight shining down on it, with two bells, and a speaker, as well as a crank on the side for… something.
“It looks like an old telephone. Don't ask such stupid questions.”
She turned to her brother with a disappointed look on her face and an annoyed look in her eyes. She could practically see how bad he feels, as well as the ever-present fear.
“Oh… okay…”
They both walked towards the telephone. The train doors then opened on both sides, even though no one was in them. When they both stood in front of the telephone, they could see an orange sticker on the bottom left-hand corner that read “Kamabo Co.”. Other than that the telephone was a steel gray color, the bells bronze.
It rang.
Once more, the break in silence caused the brother to jump a little, which made Evelyn even more frustrated.
‘He’s such a deadweight. When I was his age, I had to work my ass off to get to where I am. Lieutenant of the Octarian Special Weapons Unit, specifically trained for close hand-to-hand combat and one-on-one combat with modified, high capacity Dualies.’
[That bitch called me deadweight!!1!!!1]
It rang again. Evelyn reached out for the handset, but then the telephone had started speaking by itself, in voice synthesis.
“[SEARCHING FOR USER ID…]”
“[USER 00001 CONFIRMED]”
“That's… really cre—”
“Greetings, 00001!”
[Telephone's Theme — Splatoon 2]
This time, both Evelyn and Akira jumped. The sudden, static voice of the telephone echoing in the large station. The telephone pauses before it continues. Akira is still in shock.
“Your current location is: Deepsea Metro Central Station.”
“My primary function is to facilitate your journey to the promised land. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”
It stops speaking for a moment, giving Evelyn time to think. Could this be some sort of advanced technology from another species? The Deepsea Metro? Is that what this place is? The telephone didn't appear to be that old, judging by its relatively rust and oxidation free body.
The telephone’s static voice goes on once more.
“[ASSESSING COMMUNICATION EFFICIENCY…]”
“[EFFICIENCY: 12.42%]”
“[ENABLING CONTEMPORARY SPEECH MODE]”
. . .
“What is crackalakin, home skillet? Let us bounce to the promised land fo sho.”
Evelyn couldn't help but roll her eyes again, the telephone's mannerisms sounding strangely akin to her brother’s friends when they tried to hit on her. Their disappointment when she turned them down was downright hilarious, even for someone who rarely smiles.
“‘The promised land’? I don't like being fed with such irrelevant nonsense.”
She borderline scolded the telephone. It took a while to properly respond to her, and an awkward silence filled the station in the meantime. Her brother stayed close by, looking down the tunnels the trains travel through from the platform.
“The promised land. A utopia of light beyond your wildest dreams. It is all that and a bag of cool beans.”
This thing is obviously trying to act like a teenager from a boy band. It's amusing but at the same time, concerning. It's obviously not a living thing because… it's a telephone!
It doesn't breathe, it doesn't blink, it's just there.
“I will take you to the promised land now. NOT!”
“HA HA HA. Psyche out.”
“Only cats who have proven themselves can [ERROR] the promised land. Do you dig, dog?”
‘Do I “dig dog”? What's a… dog? Is it a type of species? What the hell is that thing even saying?’ So many questions, and no answers. But, she couldn't walk away now. Not after… however many hours of walking.
“There have been 0 applicants so far, which makes you applicant 00001. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo. Good luck and [SLANG_NOT_FOUND].”
By now, her brother got bored looking at subway trains and decided to just sit down and shut up.
“I wish I could just get the fuck out of here…”
Maybe she accidentally thought out loud. Then, the telephone ejects something from the front slot. It looks like a card and a remote of some sort.
“Here is your CQ-80 and CQ Card. They are so bad. Guard them with your lizzife, because if you lose them, you will [ERROR]. Now come on, ride the train. Outie 5000.”
The telephone turns itself off, seemingly. With the station now quiet, the doors on the train still open, and her new items received, there's only one way to go:
Forward.
— — — —
Upon entering the train car, Evelyn was surprised to find she was the only one in it. At least, in that specific train car.
“...”
The train doors close behind her, just in time for her brother to be trapped out.
“W-Wait! Wait!!!”
Evelyn watched as Akira fruitlessly chased after the train, looking very distressed.
“Bye bye, little waste of space~”
Evelyn sarcastically and teasingly wiggled her fingers at Akira, smirking as he trips and falls on the cold concrete.
Now with him out of the way, she can finally get down to business.
She opens her journal, filling out the pages with what she has discovered thus far.
“Day one findings”
“It would appear as though a new tunnel has opened due east of Area 5 of Octo Valley. Said tunnel is not visible from above, due to the undying mist and how far down it is.”
“Once following the tunnel’s path, we are led to a place that is referred to as the Deepsea Metro. It takes the appearance of a metropolitan subway station, yet there are no other living species to be found besides myself (as of writing this entry).”
“Only one other object is found: a telephone. Telephone is able to efficiently communicate with me, albeit in a more ‘childish’ and ‘unnecessary’ manner. The main point that was brought up is the ‘promised land’, which I have reason to believe may be the surface.”
“I am currently aboard one of the trains that it instructed me to ride. I also believe this could have something to do with the missing troops. I will investigate further tomorrow.”
She adds her signature at the bottom.
“Lieutenant Kaneko”
Once that is all written and done, the journal is closed and put back in her pocket.
‘I could take a nap’, Evelyn thinks. She hasn't gotten any sleep in two or three days.
She slips off her jacket, laying down on the floor of the train car. It doesn't take long for her to drift off, into fleeting memories of above…
— — — — — — — —
[“Mommy?”
“What is it, sweetheart?”
“Why don't you love Akira?”
“What- I do, I do! It's just… you're such a wonderful little girl, and you're growing up so fast!”
“But I thought that you were supposed to love both of us equally.”
“Honey, please don't question my parenting.”
“I already did.”
“Evelyn. That's enough.”
“Is Akira not as good as me?”
“Don't think of your brother like that. He's trying his hardest.”
“But daddy hits him.”
“That's not… what this is about, darling.”
“But daddy never hits me. That means I'm better than him, right?”
“Even if he's younger than you, that doesn't mean he's less of a person than you.”
“But I'm the elder sibling!”
“You're seven years old, sweetie. When you turn eighteen you’ll be an adult. Then you can decide what to think of Akira. But until then, please be considerate of his feelings.”
“Please be considerate of his feelings…”
“Please be considerate of his feelings…”]
The words echoed in Evelyn's head as she awoke from her sleep, the memories coming back when they should not be able to.
‘Why does he think he's my equal? Because he's not. He didn't have to work for anything. Nothing. He doesn't know struggle, or being constantly harassed for being a female in a male-dominant environment. Maybe… he’ll finally learn what real struggle is when he has to escape this place by himself, with no “big sis” to protect his scrawny ass.’