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Jamie Tartt is on her front step, looking winded, very pink, and very much like he just woke up and practically sprinted to her house. It is currently somewhere around 2 in the morning, and she’s not about to bother looking for his car out front. Jamie does not look injured, and he does not look scared, he’s just out of breath.
This is about all the reassurance Keeley can get before opening the door.
“Keeley!!!!” He flails like a muppet, still gasping in oxygen. Jesus Christ. He might have run all the way here.
“What’s wrong?” She asks, suspicious. She’s not annoyed, not yet at least. Jamie is a very courteous boy now that he has her number. He always texts and makes certain it’s alright before coming over.
Keeley couldn’t sleep, Jamie looks wild-eyed, she’s willing to see where this goes.
“I–I” Jamie is still working on getting his breathing and talking together. Fair enough, it’s early. Keeley waits patiently.
“I think I’m in love with me best mate!” He rushes out, and he looks somehow alarmed, excited, and totally terrified by this realization.
Jamie doesn’t say the name, because of course he doesn’t, his eyes are wild and cheeks are flushed with the early hour, the morning chill, and the exertion of a realization and sprinting around, this Jamie is not going to be very helpful.
Jamie unfortunately has turned out to be one of those people that kind of considers all of his mates his best mate, which is normally something Keeley finds very cute. Jamie doesn’t like making hierarchies of friendship and relationship, actually bristled when she and Roy accidentally implied that Simon–Jamie’s stepdad, wasn’t a father figure, even though they aren’t that close, Jamie still considers Simon very important, if he’s important to his mum, he’s important to Jamie.
So Jamie’s realization on the front step is not helpful. Jamie’s in love with a friend. Could be anyone really, and now he’s here at Keeley’s home. Keeley, his beloved friend, who watches silly soap operas from Turkey with him at least once a month, who had sent her the most ridiculous bouquet of flowers on what would have been an anniversary with Jack, who made her a beaded lizard in bi-pride colors, and oh no .
This could be very troubling.
Keeley bustles Jamie into her home and bites her lip. This is going to be something.
Jamie takes a seat on her pink sofa and Keeley goes to start making tea. She contemplates adding in vodka.
She elects to save it but have it ready, just in case. She can share with Barbara later.
Jamie looks less crazed now that he’s in captivity in her living room, sitting on a sofa with a silly amount of throw pillows. He looks pretty nervous, but he also looks like he just solved a very difficult puzzle. While this means Jamie isn’t going to become totally inconsolable (at least hopefully), it does however, not mean Keeley is not at risk for Boy Nonsense With Jamie And/Or Roy. She gives this about a twenty-five percent chance of going poorly for her.
Keeley pours the tea and grabs a variety of biscuits, and brings the cups and saucers out for them.
“So. You’re in love with your best mate. Do I guess which one?”
Jamie clutches at the mug. His knuckles turn white. He won’t meet her eye. Keeley is now Extremely Worried.
“Roy.” She says.
Jamie shakes his head, but blushes harder. She’s going to file that away for later.
“Ted.” She declares, knowing this one is incorrect but hoping for a laugh.
Jamie recoils. Good.
“Are you here to proposition me?” She narrows her eyes, and tries to hide that she will definitely be annoyed if this is the answer.
“No! No! Seriously, of course not! It’s–” Jamie exclaims, desperate to dismiss that idea. Okay, Keeley can relax now.
“Sam, isn’t it?” She actually doesn’t know if it’s Sam, but it seems a good guess.
Jamie looks away but he nods and Keeley is grateful she kept the vodka ready.
“So. How did this start?”
“English National Team. They had a 9, and I didn’t even need to think about what number I wanted.”
Oh, he’s got it bad then .
So. Jamie Tartt, number 9 at AFC Richmond, ex-boyfriend and mostly reformed bastard, former absolute enemy of Sam Obisanya, is now the best friend of Sam Obisanya and has realized likely a few hours ago that he is in love with him.
“Is Roy going to be at yours this morning?” She asks.
“Nah, day off for something or other.”
“Is that why you came here?”
“Girl talk, innit?” He says primly.
Keeley regrets explaining some of her gossip rituals to Jamie.
“Despite the fact that you and your crush are both boys?”
“You and Miss Welton talked about Ted and Roy.” He counters, and okay, fair enough, several discussions were had about Roy, but the Ted stuff was mostly gossiping about Sassy’s hook-ups and how many gory details she gave. Now is not the time to correct that though.
“Yes, yes, Girl Talk is a state of mind and ritual, whatever. Let’s start with important things. Although Roy isn’t training you, are you doing anything this morning?”
Jamie sips at his tea and squints past her, tilting his head as though it will dislodge any obligations he might have lost in his brain and reveal his schedule.
“Nope. Free all day actually.” He says pleasantly, like this is a welcome surprise to him.
This is all the prompting Keeley needs. She gets up.
“Brilliant. I’m getting some vodka. Do you want more tea, babes?” She asks.
Jamie helpfully hands her his mug.
She fetches the vodka and as she tops off their mugs she stirs in what she thinks is probably two shots of vodka. She returns to her living room with Jamie curled around a pink pillow like an octopus, and she knows the heavy pour was a good choice.
They had discussed bisexuality a bit when they were still a couple. Keeley had wanted it out of the way early, and Jamie had reacted pretty well. Initially he had been puzzled, under the impression that surely everyone was sorta bi, and Keeley hadn’t really prompted him to get deeper than that.
“Is this where you start teasin’ me for thinking everyone was a little bisexual?” He asks, taking a drink.
Keeley hadn’t planned to, on account of not knowing where Jamie was in his ‘Ah Fuck, I’m In Love With My Football Teammate’ journey, and not wanting to make this more fraught than it already might be.
“Well, are you?”
“A little bisexual?” Jamie squints.
“Just bisexual, s-ppose.”
“Well, yeah. Came here for a reason.” He admits into his mug.
Keeley can’t quite suppress a smile at that.
“When did you figure it out?”
“A little bisexual or just bisexual? You met Simon.” Jamie answers, also smiling. Oh yes, the little bisexual realization had definitely been made clear by Simon.
“Exactly, so it’s the second one, babes.” She sighs, and she means for it to sound kinda exasperated, but it sounds too fond and amused.
“Mmm. Reckon it started when Colin introduced us to his boyfriend properly and I thought ‘Shit, man can pull.’” Jamie laughs.
“Homewrecker.”
“Never in me life, swear down.” Jamie sets the mug aside to brandish open palms, as if he’s promising his innocence at a magic show.
“Welcome, Jamie, to the full bisexual experience. Now, since you brought up Girl Talk…” She can’t help her smile. It’s a sharp thing, but it isn’t mean. She just wants to shake down her friend for details. Harmless, really.
Jamie groans, realizing the bed he has made for himself.
“Did you just realize you liked him when you went on for England, or is this–”
“I knew I liked him when I chose his number.”
“Did’ja do it to impress him? Get his attention?” She settles in closer on the couch, needling at him like she’s already three drinks in when she’s barely had three sips. She had forgotten how fun this could be.
“You know the answer to that question.” Jamie snorts, batting her away as gently as he can when they both have mugs of tea they’re juggling.
“Say it and I might stop.” She offers him, still grinning. They both know she fucking won’t.
“Yes. I wanted to get his attention and I was hoping he appreciated it.” Jamie admits to her anyway.
“Look what they’ve done to you. That American made you a romantic. I’m going to look in your day planner and just see every page filled with Sam Obisanya’s name surrounded by hearts.” Keeley declares this like it’s some great dishonor, not really out of shock at Jamie having a horrendous crush, but because she knows it will make him laugh a bit. Although she is plenty excited about Jamie’s crush.
“Keeley, it’s bad!” He cries out, dramatic as ever and smiling all the same.
“What, is he your lock screen or something?” Keeley snickers, pretending to make grabby-hands at his imminently stealable phone.
Jamie yelps in a way that is very funny and not at all becoming, flinches back from Keeley’s half-hearted heist, does not spill any hot tea onto them or the furniture, and lastly throws himself flat to the couch to put space between his phone on his chest and Keeley’s clicking manicure.
Goddamned fucking falcon claws, she’s got.
Frankly, if Jamie had reacted in any other way, Keeley would leave this as the joke it was definitely meant to be, and this would just be two good friends joking about one’s love life just after midnight. Unfortunately, Jamie is as always a drama queen, and in his theatrics the truth can be revealed.
He’s thrown himself flat against the sofa, but with the mug in one hand and trying to scoot away with the other, he is defenseless. Keeley snatches the phone and looks at the lock screen.
Keeley had said it in jest but Jamie did not disappoint her. The shot on the lock screen is a shot of Sam crashed on the floor of one of the lads’ flats, with bright late morning sun draping over him. There’s three novels scattered around him and one splayed open on his chest, a blanket underneath him, and a mug that is shaped like a shark next to an inexplicable flower pot in the background. Sam’s smile is so wide that his eyes are scrunched up and practically closed, and the sun is glinting off of his massive grin.
It is an alarmingly sappy picture to have as a lock screen. If someone were to find this phone they would assume Sam was the owner’s spouse. Jamie took this photo of Sam.
Oh, he’s got it bad .
“Oh my God.” Keeley says, processing the image.
Jamie makes a pained noise but also sounds horrifically fond. There’s no saving the man!
“You think you’re in love, huh?” Keeley asks, a bit flat and trying to lighten this mood a bit.
Jamie grumbles a bit but does crack a smile, which is nice.
“Okay, maybe I should’ve expected this…”
“For your sake I will not ask about the home screen.”
They sit in silence for a bit after that. Drinking their tea, contemplating how much they’ve learned about Jamie in the past few hours, before they even reach 4 AM.
“Are you thinking about telling him?”
“I know it’s weird, but. Yeah. I think I need to.” He says thoughtfully.
“I’m gonna wait until the off-season, obviously, I don’t wanna fuck up the team!” He starts, already trying to justify himself. Keeley’s heart gives a quick pang of sympathy.
“I mean. I don’t think it will be a disaster, but we need time to think about it, right? And there’s no time during the season…” Jamie is so weirdly thoughtful these days. He had been so impulsive when they were dating. Keeley wonders what led to that thoughtfulness she sees so much more often now. It could be a lot of things, and it wasn’t like he wasn’t capable of thought when they dated, but damn. What a difference a few years can do.
“I like the plan. How are you going to do it?”
“I was just gonna go out with him I think. Having someone over for that feels weird.”
Smart boy. She doesn’t see anything to object to, although if he tries to do this while clubbing that could be an issue.
“Out?”
“I haven’t figured that part out yet…” He rubs his ear, a bit shy (what a wild thing to see on him), and then continues, “I was kind of thinking of going biking or on a walk. We usually exercise or explore some place whenever we hang out anyway, and I don’t want him to feel like I’m trying to get a date in when I confess.”
A very good instinct. He’s thought about this a lot, for something he’s realized in the relatively recent past.
Keeley looks back to Jamie’s phone, somehow still in her hands, and realizes just how long she has been awake. She looks back over to her friend, and quickly decides to take a day off as well. She passes the phone back to her friend, and when she rises, she tells him to pick out which soap they’re watching until sunrise.
Keeley returns to him with three bottles of nail polish and the materials for their nail and soap nights. They paint their fingernails in pink and purple, and squabble over who gets which shade of blue for an impromptu pedicure. The off-season looms over the sunrise, but as they work their way through the kettle and vodka, Jamie doesn’t seem all that concerned about it.