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Not Afraid Anymore

Summary:

Neither Tsukishima nor Yamaguchi like horror movies, yet somehow find themselves watching them together over the years.

This would be a 5+1 fic, but there are only four parts. So, 3+1?

The first in hopefully a series of Yamaguchi-centric oneshots (assuming I can find both time and motivation to actually write). The title is in reference to “i wish to be found” by TheFledglingDM, in which Sugawara claims everyone falls in love with Yamaguchi when they meet him, even if only briefly.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

Thirteen




Please, can we watch TV with you, Akiteru?”

 

Kei looked over to his friend and then back up at his big brother, nodding enthusiastically.  Akiteru wasn’t so quick to be persuaded.

 

“Guys, I’m watching a scary movie.  I don’t think it’s a good idea.”  He frowned knowingly at the young Yamaguchi, who had nightmares that night he stayed over and they watched Jurassic Park together.

 

Yamaguchi, however, balled his fists and puffed out his chest.  “I’m not scared!  I have you and Kei-kun to protect me!”

 

As if to emphasize his point, Kei took a half step closer to Yamaguchi.  While he didn’t particularly want to watch a scary movie, he wouldn’t let Yamaguchi be braver than him.  Reluctantly, Akiteru agreed and held up the blanket to allow the boys a place next to him.

 

Yamaguchi, of course, made a delighted noise and practically tackled Akiteru in his haste to join him.  On the other hand, Kei settled in more quietly at his friend’s side, sandwiching him between the two Tsukishimas.  

 

Not a full twenty minutes later, Yamaguchi had his face half-burrowed into their shared blanket.  Kei, being the good friend he was and not due to what was happening on-screen, focused more on Yamaguchi than the tv screen.  He wiggled a bit closer to offer more comfort to the smaller boy, wiping sweaty palms over his pajama pants.  He huffed a sigh.

 

“This is dumb,” he grumbled with a pout.  The corner of Akiteru’s mouth curled up into a hint of a smile.

 

“You’re right, maybe we should put something else on.”

 

Yamaguchi finally piped up from between them.  “No!  We have to know how it ends!”

 

Akiteru’s brows raised and Kei deflated a bit.  He didn’t want to watch this movie anymore.  Putting on a brave face was getting annoying.  Not that he was scared, of course.

 

“Okay, we can finish the movie.  But Kei looks a little cold, why don’t you guys squeeze in a bit more?”

 

Kei was about to protest that he really wasn’t cold, but Yamaguchi grabbed the sleeve of his shirt and tugged him closer.  “I’m cold, too, Kei-kun!  We need to share body heat!”  The three of them now pressed close together, and Kei hesitantly rested his head on Yamaguchi’s.  From this position, his hair partially blocked the view of the tv.

 

Yamaguchi yelped at a particularly bad jumpscare, jolting so violently that Kei’s glasses were knocked completely off of his face.

 

“Tadashi!” he cried in annoyance, patting the blanket to find them.

 

Akiteru chuckled softly, his weight shifting on the couch.  “Here you go, Kei.  You all right, Tadashi?”

 

“Yeah,” Yamaguchi chirped meekly.  “Sorry, Kei-kun.  Are your glasses okay?”

 

Kei slid the glasses back on and nodded.  “They’re fine.”

 

The rest of the movie went on about the same, with Yamaguchi tucked firmly into Akiteru’s side and clutching onto Kei’s arm for dear life.  If Kei’s hand was tightly grasped into the fabric of Yamaguchi’s hoodie as well, Yamaguchi either didn’t notice or didn’t mind enough to comment on it.

 

Akiteru stood and stretched as the credits rolled while Yamaguchi cowered into Kei’s side.  Kei attempted to free his arm.

 

“Come on, you can sleep in my bed instead of the spare futon.”

 

Wide eyes peered up at him fearfully.  They’d shared Kei’s bed before, so this shouldn’t present any issue.  Kei stood and Yamaguchi followed suit, murmuring something too soft for him or Akiteru to hear.  Kei leaned in.

 

“What?”

 

Yamaguchi huffed and tried again.

 

“Can you hold my hand?”

 

Kei leaned back and nodded, reaching out a hand that Yamaguchi took eagerly, the fingers of one hand interlocking with his own while the other grabbed his forearm and Yamaguchi glued himself to Kei’s side.  At Yamaguchi’s insistence, he left the light on.

 

“It’s okay, the blankets will protect us,” Kei reassured as they both climbed under the heavy weight of his comforter.  Yamaguchi curled into him and their hands remained clasped together.

 

“You’ll protect me, too.  Right, Kei-kun?”

 

Kei wasn’t quite sure what he, a lanky thirteen-year-old, could really protect anyone from, but he couldn’t just say no.

 

“Yeah, of course I will.”

 

Yamaguchi hugged him tighter.

 

“I’ll protect you, too.”

 

Despite Yamaguchi being even smaller than him, the thought was a comfort, and while sleep didn’t come quickly for either of them, it didn’t bring the nightmares they’d been afraid of.





Seventeen




“Oh!  You have a cat!”

 

Tadashi flitted off to pet the tuxedo cat, leaving Tsukishima with Ennoshita.  He lifted a hand for it to sniff and– once receiving a slow blink– gave it a careful scratch behind the ears, gushing about its adorable pink nose.  His grin widened at the pleased purr as Tsukki stepped up behind him with a hint of a smile.

 

Ennoshita called over his shoulder while he hurried off to separate a bickering Hinata and Kageyama.  “Her name’s Sakura!” 

 

“Aww,” Tadashi cooed.  “A pretty name for a pretty girl.  I wonder if Mom would let me get a cat.”

 

Tsukishima shrugged and reached out to scratch beneath Sakura’s chin.  “She’d probably be more amenable to that than a dog.”

 

“Hm?  You think so?”

 

He couldn’t help but brighten hopefully.  Tsukishima kept his attention on the cat, voice nonchalant.  Tadashi regarded him with a warm smile as he coaxed more happy purrs from Sakura.

 

“Yeah.  Cats are quieter and less of a hassle to take care of.”

 

Rapidly approaching footsteps alerted them of Nishinoya’s presence before his shouting did, sending the cat running.

 

“Guys!  Pizza’s gonna be here in fifteen, and then we’re watching scary movies!”

 

They both gave him an unimpressed glare for scaring Sakura, and Tadashi hoped neither noticed the tension rising in his shoulders.

 

“Fine,” Tsukki sighed with disinterest.  Noya gave them a double thumbs up and a giant smile before turning and sprinting off again.  They took a few minutes to set up the best sleeping arrangements before the pizza arrived, then found a place in view of the tv that would put Tsukki the furthest from everyone else while the rest of the team chattered and grabbed their food.

 

After everyone had cleared out from the table and chosen their spots on and around the couch, Tadashi dragged Tsukki to the table to get their own pizza and resettle in their little bubble.  Tadashi offered a warm smile as he took a seat next to Kageyama, Tsukki sitting on his right.

 

“Scary movies are dumb,” Kageyama said flatly.  Before Tadashi could respond, Hinata stole his attention.  Tsukishima clicked his tongue and looked at the screen.

 

“I guess even morons can be right sometimes.”

 

Tadashi snickered and took a large bite of pizza, gravitating ever so slightly closer to Tsukki as the movie began.

 

Pizza finished and plates thrown away, Tadashi sat down again next to his best friend.  His unease rose as the tension bled through the screen and he glanced over at Tsukishima.

 

“Hey, remember watching scary movies with Akiteru when we were kids?”

 

He was rewarded with a smirk and golden eyes on his.  “Yeah, and I remember how much of a scaredy-cat you were.”

 

Tadashi frowned and shied away from discussing it further, returning his attention to the screen.  Of course, that was the perfect time for a well-placed jumpscare and he jerked embarrassingly, his knee bumping against Kageyama’s.  Tsukishima chuckled softly and several others burst out laughing as various boys jumped.  Thankfully, most of the attention fell on Hinata, who had made a high-pitched squeak.

 

“You’re fine, everyone was too busy laughing at Hinata to notice,” Tsukishima murmured close to his ear.

 

He relaxed minutely and Kageyama patted his knee and sent him a small grin.  Tadashi felt like his face was on fire and looked back at Tsukki.

 

“Um… Can you hold my hand?”

 

He laced their fingers together without hesitation, allowing their shoulders to rest against each other.  Tadashi leaned into it, his heart rate finally returning to normal as he noted Tsukki’s palm felt a bit sweaty.  Not wanting to lose the privilege of holding his hand, he smiled to himself and didn’t comment on it.

 

A few minutes passed and he felt Tsukishima shift next to him.  Sakura had climbed into his lap and was kneading at the blanket, purring softly.  Tadashi met eyes with Tsukki and they both smiled.

 

“She likes you,” Tadashi whispered.

 

Tsukishima hummed noncomittally in response and scratched beneath her chin while Tadashi reached over to stroke down her back, glad to have a distraction from the movie.  Kageyama glanced over once, then twice.  Tadashi tightened his grip on Tsukki’s hand, anxiety creeping in that he might have noticed them holding hands.

 

“Yamaguchi?”

 

Kageyama looked a bit constipated but eventually pointed at Tsukishima.  “Can I pet the cat?”

 

Tadashi blinked a few times in surprise and nodded, giving Tsukki a look meant to convey, “ Don’t you dare start shit.  Let him pet the cat and watch the stupid movie.”

 

Tsukki rolled his eyes but allowed it.

 

Kageyama smiled, his face softer than Tadashi had ever seen it, and leaned back into his own space after a minute with a curt nod.

 

Tadashi was proud to make it through the rest of the movie without jumping (though it was most likely due to the fact he paid more attention to Sakura sleeping soundly in Tsukki’s lap than to the TV).  He followed Tsukki over to their makeshift beds.  Tadashi watched him for a moment as he laid his head on the pillow, glasses set safely aside.  He stretched his hand out hesitantly, glaring at Tsukki’s hand mere centimeters from his own, willing it to reach just a bit closer.

 

There was a soft puff of laughter and Tadashi’s eyes shot up guiltily to meet Tsukki’s.

 

“All you have to do is ask, you know.”

 

Tsukki’s fingers wove through his own and he felt something in him relax and flood with warmth.

 

“Thank you, Tsukki.”






Twenty-One




“Tsukki!”

 

Kei glanced up from his book to see a grin on Yamaguchi’s face that could only mean trouble.  He placed a few bags on the table of their shared apartment that Kei analyzed with mild interest, his silence prompting Yamaguchi to continue.

 

“Well, it’s almost Halloween-”

 

“It’s early September,” Kei interrupted.  Of course, this only earned him a glare.

 

“It’s Autumn, so-”

 

“Also no,” Kei refuted, closing his book and standing from the couch to join his roommate at the table.

 

Yamaguchi groaned while drawing his hands over his face and exclaimed, “Tsukki, shut up!” 

 

Kei smirked but remained silent.  After a few moments, Yamaguchi continued.  “The weather has been chilly for the past few days, so I got the things to make mulled wine!  And we can watch a scary movie!”

 

Ah.  Kei sighed in exasperation.

 

“Don’t be like that!  It’ll be fun!  I’m sending you a list now.”  He tapped at his phone for a minute as he spoke.  “You can choose the movie while I start the wine.”

 

Kei arched a brow at his best friend.  “Do you know anything about making mulled wine?”

 

“Nope!” Yamaguchi chirped cheerfully and pocketed his phone, still grinning.  “But I googled it, how hard can it be?”

 

Apparently, it was much harder than two college students could handle.

 

“Yamaguchi, I can’t feel my tongue.”

 

He frowned.  “Oh, it can’t be that bad.”  He took a sip and his face twisted into something painful.

 

Kei tried and failed to cover his snort.  “I told you we should have followed the recipe.”

 

“We practically did!”

 

“Yeah?”  Kei replied smugly.  “How many cloves did you add?”

 

Yamaguchi went silent and swirled the liquid in his glass, seemingly captivated by the steam wafting up and whisping away.  Kei tried a different approach.

 

“Okay, how many did the recipe say to add?”

 

“Eight…”

 

Kei lifted the offending bottle from the counter and shook it.  “And this was a brand new jar, correct?”

 

“They smelled good, Tsukki!  I don’t think that was it!”

 

“You used almost half the jar.”

 

“It’s a small jar!”

 

Kei opened the lid and shook one of the bulbs into his hand before giving it to Yamaguchi.  “Try one by itself.”

 

Yamaguchi straightened, eager to prove himself right.  He took the clove and only hesitated after placing it on his tongue.  He tentatively chewed once, twice, and thrice before making another, even more unpleasant face.

 

“Tsukki, why did you let me add so many?”

 

“I told you not to and you didn’t listen.”  He took another sip of the wine with a grimace.  Yamaguchi lunged forward to snatch the glass from his hand, almost sending some of the ruby liquid sloshing out of his own.

 

“Stop drinking it!”

 

Kei scowled at him.  “And just waste it?”

 

“Yes!” Yamaguchi sputtered.  “You’ll make yourself sick!”

 

Kei rolled his eyes and held the glass out to be taken.  “No more experimenting in the kitchen.”

 

“You absolutely didn’t have to tell me that.  Lesson learned.”

 

Yamaguchi busied himself with cleaning up his disaster while Kei settled back on the couch and pulled up one of the horror movies from the list he’d sent him.  Most of them looked too gory or had dull summaries, but this one looked at least somewhat promising.

 

Yamaguchi plopped next to him on the couch and stole some of his blanket without bothering to ask.  Kei pressed play.

 

He was very aware of Yamaguchi subtly shifting closer to him throughout the movie.  Everything went silent for a few beats before the music blasted and Yamaguchi yelped.  Kei laughed at him to cover up his own nerves.

 

“Oh, please.  It was obvious there was going to be a jumpscare right there.”

 

Yamaguchi elbowed him probably a bit more harshly than intended and Kei shoved him back, his grin softening.

 

“Want to hold my hand?”

 

He extended his hand, more mocking than genuine, but Yamaguchi refused to meet his gaze and took it with a scowl.  Kei swallowed and attempted to at least appear interested in what was happening on the screen.






Twenty-Five




“Tsukki?” Tadashi queries as he rounds the corner to their living room.  Tsukishima is grinning up at him, a bundle of black curled up in his lap.  Rolling his eyes, Tadashi joins them.

 

“I can’t believe she likes you best when I’m the one who had to beg to keep her.”

 

Tsukishima scoffs, reaching down to stroke through her silky fur.  “As if I could have said no to Corvus.”  His eyes meet Tadashi’s to feign mock annoyance.  “Or you when you get all pouty for that matter.”

 

Tadashi shoves him gently, careful not to disturb the sleeping Corvus nestled in his lap, and glances at the tv curiously.

 

“Scary movie?”

 

Tsukishima hums his affirmative and presses play.  “Apparently the plot is actually decent.”

 

With a laugh, Tadashi leans into Tsukki’s shoulder, pulling some of the blanket onto his lap.  He grins up at him and extends his hand, Tsukki’s fingers threading easily through his own.  Even this is enough to make Tadashi glow warm from deep in his chest, gentle fondness threatening to overwhelm him.  He doesn’t miss the soft smile plastered to Tsukki’s face either.

 

The first half of the movie plays through without a hitch.  However, somewhere around the three-quarter mark, Tsukishima jumps so hard that Corvus leaps from his lap and takes off down the hall.  Tadashi cannot contain the laughter bubbling out of him, tears even beginning to well up in his eyes.

 

“It was daylight!”  Tsukishima justifies, a faint pink dusting over his cheeks and nose.  Without needing to look, Tadashi knows his ears are an even deeper red.  Regardless, he feels the need to check and finds his suspicions correct.  It’s incredibly cute, but he knows better than to comment on it.  Oblivious to Tadashi’s adoration, Tsukki rambles on defensively, “Jumpscares aren’t supposed to happen during the day!”

 

Tadashi doubles over again with laughter before finally catching his breath enough to speak.  “I’ve never seen you jump like that, Tsukki!”

 

He squeezes the hand in his as he’s given a glare that could turn anyone to stone.  Anyone save for Tadashi, that is.  His smile softens.  “It’s okay, Tsukki.  I’ll protect you.”

 

Tsukishima huffs in annoyance, then pulls him in closer to wrap an arm securely around his waist.  He nuzzles his nose into his hair languid and familiar and kisses the top of his head.  “Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

 

He knows he must be wearing the dopiest grin as a character dies dramatically a few minutes later, but Tadashi only feels safe and at home.  And if the small circles being rubbed leisurely into the back of his hand are any indication, he’s sure that Tsukki does, too.



 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

This was inspired by a poll during the tskym exchange asking who was more afraid while watching scary movies. I'd wanted to have this finished and posted for Halloween, but that clearly didn't happen.

I normally write in past tense, but wanted to experiment with the effect of switching over to present tense in the final part. In theory, giving the rest of the story a "memory" vibe while experiencing the last bit as it happens. I don't know that it worked as well as I'd thought it would >.<

But some fun things if you're interested! Corvus, the cat they end up getting, is named after the crow constellation. I doubted anyone would catch it but I was excited to finally use it. I also feel like cats would be drawn to Tsukki, but have no actual reasoning behind it. And I actually made mulled wine with a friend once and warned them not to put so many cloves in but they didn't listen. It was disgusting.

I'll stop rambling now, but I hope you enjoyed this fluffy mess. Please take care and have a good night/day..! <3

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