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Mm-hm. Today was a good day.
Crunching down on a sweet chocolate bar, Suzuran smiled as she stared out the open window. It was a very sunny day, a perfect day for snacking on chocolate while watching the clouds drift by. She shouldn't eat too much, though. Too much chocolate would make her teeth fall out, and then Mom and Dad would be sad and she'd have to wear braces. Suzuran didn't really want braces: Braces looked funny.
But before she could imagine herself with braces, a high gale nearly bowls her over. She barely clings on to the candy wrapper flapping in her hand, because littering was bad and killed the fish. Turning her head, she tried to look for whatever caused that roaring wind, but the darting blur was already turning around for her and-
"What's that?" The blur stopped in front of her! But it wasn’t a blur, though- it was a derpy looking Perro. Ceobe was her name, right? With a tilt of her head, the Perro looks down on the shiny silver wrapping, stained with bits of brow. “In your hand. Smells nice!”
"It's a chocolate bar." Suzuran stared at the empty wrapper, now hanging limply from her hand. "Or, um, was a chocolate bar. It's gone now..."
"Cho-ko-layt...?" Ceobe sniffs at the silver slivers, tail swaying on the floor like a curious broom.
"You don't know what chocolate is?" Suzuran frowns, feeling a sudden pity for the Perro. "Do they not give you chocolate?"
"No...?" And in that moment, Ceobe was struck with an unimaginable sadness: The sadness of missing out on something you never knew you wanted, but still seeing someone else enjoying it. Whatever she was doing before, it didn't matter anymore, because someone was eating Chokolayt and she wanted some too!
And at the same time, Suzuran understood the cruel unfairness of this world, a world that purposefully denied anyone the right to eat at least two bars of chocolate. But no more than two, though, because three was too many and would melt your teeth.
It was unfair, outrageous! And as long as her father was Priest and her mother was her mother, Suzuran would not stand by and let someone live a chocolate-less life! So, mustering up all the bravery she could with her tiny stature, Suzuran put her hands to her hips and gave a confident smile- Exactly the way she saw Ifrit do once!
"Don't worry, Ceobe! We'll get you some chocolate!"
Shuffling down the hall with an oversized duffel bag, Beagle nervously shifted her eyes back and forth, watching out for any roaming medics. Within that bag, she was carrying at least a week's worth of junk food, bagels and chips- enough to send poor Hibiscus into a fit with a single glance.
It was Dur-nar's idea. "When you're the squad's defender, you get saddled with the heavy lifting your squad can’t handle. But if you get caught- Well, your squad ought to back you up."
Beagle didn't want to get caught. Fang was already so strict and uptight, so it would look bad on her if she had to start apologizing for Beagle's messes. But to avoid getting caught, she had to stay vigilant! She had to watch out for the iron-y smell that was Warfarin, or the heavy watery sounds that was Tuye, or even the small fox-like ears right in front of her!
Beagle leaps into the air, giving off a very un-defenderlike squeal as the duffel bag crunches down onto the floor. Only after her heart begins slowing down does she realize the fox ears were yellow.
"Miss Beagle? Are you all right?"
"I'm... Fine..." Pounding on her own chest a bit, Beagle takes a few breaths to calm herself down. "Sorry, sorry... For a moment, I thought you were Sussuro."
"Um, all right.” Suzuran looks up at Beagle, not fully understanding. ”May I have another chocolate bar?"
Oh, there it was. That head tilt, those innocent eyes. But Seargant Dur-nar had trained Beagle for this- her heart was iron and her mind a fortress! Setting her mouth firmly, the defender shook her head. "I'm sorry, Miss Suzuran, but I'm under strict orders not to give out any more snacks..."
But no, there it was, that hesitation in her voice, those drooping ears. How could anyone disappoint such a sweet child? "But it tasted really good, and I want to share it with a friend..."
So kind! But no, I can't give in... Beagle grits her teeth, enduring each wave of piercing guilt striking her heart. "I... I can't! If I give away any more of these, I'll disappoint my team. I refuse to let them down!"
"But it would really make her happy..." Suzuran pleads, her words now laced with trembling sadness.
"We have to stick to... Your nutrition plan... For your health and well-being!"
And now those pleading eyes were cast down in disappointment, as if she had shot down this innocent creature's hopes and dreams herself! Suzuran bows her head, crushing Beagle under the weight of her own guilt and sorrow.
"I understand. Thank you again, Miss Beagle."
It was the fatal kindness! Heart crushed, mind broken, Beagle sunk to her knees in utter defeat. The duffel bag lay forgotten by the wayside, because not even a thousand bagels were going to erase the trauma of this moment. It was over for her…
"Miss Beagle! Are you all right?" Suzuran kneels down next to Beagle, looking upwards at the shattered soul.
"I'll be fine... I have to be..." The words come out like a flat slurry, lifeless and dull.
"If you're feeling tired, maybe you should go to bed? I'll just go ask Miss Folinic instead..."
And with that, the child leaves behind yet another shattered soul. Truly, was there any worse fate for Beagle?
Lava never really liked the Medical Department.
Not that she hated it, either. If anything, it was probably the reason she wasn't a walking pile of explosive rocks. It was hard to dislike the people trying to keep you alive, and she wasn't really motivated to put in the effort towards that.
Of course, just because she didn’t hate them meant she had to like them. And it was pretty hard to like the people slipping spinach into her every meal. And the ones giving her a detailed breakdown of how many seconds she was safely allowed to use her arts for. It especially applied for the person in front of her now, fussing over charts with a stumped look on her face.
"I don't get it... None of these calorie reports are making sense..." Pinning the latest papers next to a photo of Lava, Hibiscus frowned deeply as she stared at the little numbers that meant much more to doctors than they did to patients. "You haven't been sneaking Sour Patches again, have you?"
She totally had. But Hibiscus really didn't need to know that, so Lava glanced around the department for a convenient excuse. A Terran anatomical model, Specie identification guides, a chart of originum crystal size and infection rate- Could this place get any more depressing?! There weren’t very many people around either, just them two… and two new visitors? "Heads up, sis. Kids incoming."
Was Ceobe a kid...? Lava didn't really know, but the Perro certainly acted like one. Either way, little miss Suzuran was definitely a kid. She even clasped her hands behind her and tilted her head, like the polite little miss she was. "Hello, Miss Hibiscus! Is Miss Folinic around?"
Hibiscus quickly shoots Lava a side-eye, one that seemed to say “We’ll discuss this later.” Turning away from the reports, she knelt down to the child’s height. "I'm sorry, but she's busy with a war council, something about a You-Es-En? She didn't really explain, just took all the doctors and left."
"Not the interns, though." Lava muttered, glancing at her sister. "Unfortunately."
"That just means your check-up is with someone who actually knows you!" Hibiscus chirped back, her smile unwavering. "So, what do you two need?"
"Ceobe has never tasted Chocolate before! Can she have some?"
Yeah, fat chance. Beagle had been trying those puppy-eyes for months now, no way Hibiscus caves. And, yep, there was that long-suffering sigh, that disappointed shake of her head that was so effective on the rest of their squad. "Ceobe, we've talked about this..."
But then she stopped, a terrible glint shining in her eyes. Digging into her satchel, she wrangled out two brown discs in plastic wrap- cookies? "I still have some leftovers from a previous batch. These are for you!
"Thank you!" Ceobe quickly grabs the cookie without even looking, nearly taking Hibiscus’ hand with it. Without another word, she quickly sprints off to somewhere isolated to enjoy the treat. Suzuran quickly shoots both of them an apologetic glance, before attempting to follow Ceobe’s gale.
If either of them had bothered to stay a little bit longer, they would have seen the look of horror etched on Lava’s face, or perhaps the small self-satisfied smile on Hibiscus’ mouth. Giving herself a pat on the back, Hibiscus picks up that absolute mess of a medical report again. “Now, where were we-”
“How dare you.” Lava mutters, her words coated over with a disdainful frost.
“...huh?”
".You gave the kid a raisin cookie. And let her believe it was Chocolate Chip.”
Hibiscus, that devilish traitor, only gave an unrepentant grin. "It's healthier! Besides, it's not like she knows what chocolate tastes like, so it's fine..."
Was this monster of a person ever her sister? With a horrified shake of her head, Lava looks away, closing her eyes in sorrow. "Your heart's truly cold and dead."
"BLEH!"
"... Just like their trust in you."
Bleh. If they kept doing the same things, Ceobe was NEVER gonna get chocolate!
Following Suzuran’s lead, Ceobe walked as slowly as possible so she didn’t overtake the little fox. Suzy-girl was really nice, but she was slow and talked a lot. If they kept doing it Suzy’s way, they’d be here talking about boring things until Vulcan came around and dragged them all back to dinner!
No problem- They just had to do it Kay’s way! “Suzy-girl, lemme look at the shiny thing, please?”
Suzy blinked, a bit confused, before giving her the empty wrapper. Taking a deep breath, Ceobe tried to place the smell. It smelt like Chokolayt, which was it’s own smell and didn’t smell like anything else she knew, but that was fine because that made it easier to track! So, sniffing the air, Ceobe took a deep breath, trying to track the scent…
And there! Somewhere to the left of her, so far away that she almost didn’t smell it. But she was sure of it!
“There! Let’s go, Suzy!”
“Go wheeee-?!” Suzuran only had time to stumble out two words before Ceobe darted off, dragging Suzuran with her. Later witnesses would describe the scene as an owner being dragged along by their overenthusiastic hound, tails flapping in the breeze like strangely bushy flags.
It was quiet around here. Not the boring quiet of a library, where the only sound one could hear was the snoring of people too dull to be reading. No, this was more of a foreboding quiet, a tense quiet, the kind of quiet that made one’s footsteps echo out.
Heh, heh. Chiave preferred the noise, but this quiet was also plenty good itself. It was dramatic, mysterious- And completely expected for the smugglers he was about to meet: The Underground Snack Network.
“Oh, It’s just a myth, Chiave. They can’t possibly be real, Chiave. Just eat the raisin toast and smile, Chiave.” The mechanic snickers to himself, grinning wildly. “Well, my gut’s never failed me yet! Can’t wait ‘til they all hear about this one.”
And yep, there they were, a shady-looking Ursus and Kuranta, guarding a single box in the middle of this abandoned hallway. They had crossed arms, long trenchcoats, even sunglasses and facemasks! If Aosta were here, he’d probably say something smart like “This is so stereotypical it’s obviously a trap. Let’s scram.”
But there’s a reason why Aosta was way back in the garage and Chiave was here: Vision! Bravery! Or something of the sort, which really didn’t matter right now because Chiave was already speaking to the shady Snack Dealers. “I’m surprised you made it through security, amicos! I’ve heard from a friend’s friend of a friend that they’ve really upped the patrols.”
“... We have our contacts.” The Kuranta speaks first, shiftily. Even with the faulty lighting, Chiave could very clearly see that her hair was blue.
“Look, enough talking. Do you have the cash or not?” The Ursus cuts her off, speaking in a thick accent. Hmm, yep. Chiave still had no clue who this was, definitely.
"Patience, Patience!" Chiave waggled the big plastic bag, listening to the paper bills rustle inside. “I’ve got your cash, no question about that.”
There was at LEAST a month’s worth of stuff in there, maybe more! True, he didn’t know how MUCH was in there, but it was pretty heavy. That meant he’d tossed a lot of spare change in there, probably worth a bunch. Heck, he might even be paying them extra!
The Blue-Tailed Kuranta who Chiave had definitely never met before spoke up. “There should be no problem, then. Just give us the money and we’ll all go before we’re caught.”
But Chiave definitely had a problem scratching at the back of his brain. He was almost sure that he recognized these strange dealers somewhere, but where? He HAD to know, because how else could he go to sleep tonight?
Now, what would Aosta say in this situation?
“It doesn’t matter who they are, does it? Just buy the chocolate and leave.”
Hm, yes, fair point. Now, what would Broca say?
“...”
Complete silence and a disapproving stare. Seemed about right. Now, at a two-to-one vote (Chiave was leader so his vote counted twice), it fell on him to uncover the mystery. And thus, Chiave spoke: “Ah, ah. But I’ve got a question of my own. Something’s been bothering me, ever since I’ve laid eyes on you two.”
The Ursus who looked extremely familiar just frowned at him. “If you think we’re scamming you, then go check the box yourself.”
“Yes, yes, it’s the box that are the problem.” Chiave walks closer, ever closer, looking so innocent and unsuspicious that the only reason they even tensed up was because they were incredibly paranoid. Walking up to the box, he bends down, pretending to look down through the bars. “Yes, I just gotta… There!”
Twin hands lunge out, grabbing on to the facemasks. The dealers dart back, but their mask strings quickly snap, instantly exposing their faces.
“Ah!”
“Cyka Blyat!”
They stumble onto the floor, faces now exposed. Getting a good look at the two, a wide grin sprouts on Chiave’s face. “Fang! Zima! We’ve known each other in the Vanguard branch since forever! You didn’t trust me to keep a secret?!”
“Obviously not.” Zima grumbled as she got up, dusting off her legs. “You’d spill it the moment you were asked.”
“What the hell- I can keep a secret!” He shakes his head in disbelief, but the dismay quickly fades away from excitement. “But you two, in the Underground Snack Network! I get YOU, Zima, but how did straight-and-narrow Fang end up here? Would’ve thought you were all for that healthy lifestyle.”
“... It was an exercise from Drillmaster Dur-nar.” Fang crossed her arms, glancing away from the both of them. “‘An exercise in cooperating with unusual forces’- but those are my terms, not her’s.”
“Unusual forces… not the worst thing I’ve been called.” Zima muttered back, more out of habit than any serious offense. “Anyways, we can’t keep yapping here forever. Just give us the cash before we’re caugh-”
“Found it! Kay away!"
Despite what the others may think, Chiave has had many thoughts over the course of his life. Machines, his gang, culinary arts, he thought about these things a lot. But death… Death wasn’t an idea he thought about too often. Death was a faraway thing, something Old Man Chiave would greet with a smile, but current Chiave wouldn’t have to worry about.
Oh, how wrong he was. How blissfully ignorant.
Because death was right here, and it was a derpy Perro barreling straight towards him.
UNF!
Chiave feels the air fly out his lungs, and for a second wonders if his soul was somewhere there too. But only for a second, because the very next moment was filled with the cold hard floor and aching muscles.
“Man down!”
“Shi-! You alright?!”
“Choco… Pasta…” He muttered, thoughts jiggling around like macaroni in a thick soup.
“He’s concussed.” Fang kneeled down beside him, waving her hand over his eyes. ”We’ve got to get a doctor-”
“No, I think that’s just Chiave being Chiave.” Zima frowned, relieved. “If you wanna pass out, wait ‘til we get rid of the evidence before you conk out, ok?”
“Choco…” Chiave slowly came back to his senses, though he was still lying down on the floor.It was comfortable, very comfortable, almost comfortable enough to ignore the shrill screams breaking through his consciousness.
"Гавно! That damn Perro's stealing all of it!"
“Ceobe! You aren’t allowed to eat that!”
A pair of footsteps quickly scamper off, followed by the sound of two more chasing. But Chiave doesn’t get off the floor, still recovering from his brush with death. Eyes blinking awake, the Vulpo slowly notices his surroundings slowly growing brighter. But this wasn’t the steady electric lights of the landship, no. The light was flickering, wavering, but strangest of all- it was blue.
There was only one reasonable explanation for this: Chiave had died and gone straight to the underworld. Still lying down on the cold floor, he begins muttering pleas to whatever messenger of death was coming for him. “Oh heavens, I know I’ve done wrong, but it was all me! Please spare Aosta and Broca when they arrive-”
“It’s just me, Suzuran.” The Foxfire haze instantly dissipated, replaced with dull shadows again.
“Oh.” Well, that was less exciting. Getting up off the floor, Chiave scratched his head awkwardly. How did he deal with kids…? “Want some chocolate? There’s still some in the box.”
“No thank you, I’ve already had two bars.” Wiping some sweat off her brow, Suzuran sits down on the floor next to Chiave, curling in on herself. “Why are all the grown-ups being so strange about chocolate?”
“I know, right? Chocolate in hot water, perfectly fine. Chocolate in bread, fine. Chocolate in cake, great! But you try to pour Chocolate on pasta, and suddenly you’re an outlaw!” Chiave crossed his arms, huffing. “Take some advice from Big Brother Chiave- there’s no helping some people.”
“All I wanted to do was let Ceobe taste chocolates…”
“... Why? Ain’t Perros allergic to that?” Chiave frowned, trying to recall his past cooking attempts. “Gives them nasty stomachaches, from what I’ve heard. Reminds me of that time we found- Hey, where are you going?”
But Suzuran was already sprinting off down the hallway.
“Ceobe! Waitttt!”
"... thankfully, the chocolate bars weren't made of pure chocolate, but rather wheat wafers coated in hazelnut. We expect Operator Ceobe to recover in a few days.”
Lying down on a hospital bed, Ceobe gave them an unrepentant grin. “Tastes… So… Good…”
Sussuro sighed, shaking her head in disappointment. "On the topic of these chocolate bars, we have reason to believe these come from the Underground Snack Network, or USN for short. The medical department currently has a bounty up for any members of this crime ring, so... Did any of you catch sight of the distributor?"
"No, sorry.”
"Nope.”
"Just saw Kay chowing down on a hidden stash!"
"Sure..." The medic narrowed her eyes, but chose not to press the issue. Instead, she turned towards Suzuran, switching her tone over to the one she’d use for her younger sisters. "Now, what did you learn from all of this?"
Suzuran shifted in place once, reciting the moral lesson for the day. "Chocolate is bad for Perros. And we shouldn't give things to people just because they want them. And doctors are always correct."
Sussuro reached upwards, petting the kid on the head. "Good girl."
Bonus:
“Unfortunately, the USN has infiltrated nearly all departments within Rhodes. Engineering? Pop rocks. Combat? Chocolate bars. Human Resources? Sugar lattes.” Doctor Folinic looked over the assembled crowd of medics, face set in grim resolution. ”They've got their cheesy dust fingers all over Rhodes Island, and we've got to put a stop to them."
"Surely they haven't infiltrated HQ?"
"Who do you think is supplying the Tactician Doctor those MSG sticks he calls cup noodles?" She clenches her fist, knowing that said Doctor could barely even be considered a Doctor anymore. "Absolutely vile... And worst of all, they've even infiltrated the Medical Department."
Several gasps float around the table. All the medics start glancing around at each other, wondering who had betrayed the last bastion of healthy living. But Folinic already knew her answer, knew from the moment they had all filed in.
"Isn't that right... Olivia?"
Olivia Silence suddenly stiffens, the drink in her hand halfway to her mouth. Stalking closer, Folinic pops the lid off her ”cup of water", revealing a green Frappucino inside.
"I knew it."
"It's just an energy supplement, we use it all the time at Rhine." Silence explains, suddenly feeling the weight of 27 different gazes on her. "Ask Joyce, ask Dorothy, ask Saria- hey, wait, hands off-!"
Gavial shakes her head. “Sorry, Silence. In here, it’s all business.”
"Take her away." Folinic demands.
Twenty-seven different doctors watch grimly as Silence is dragged off, disappearing into the bright light of the exit door. Not a word is said, not a person protests.
"Let that be a lesson to any turncoats.” Folinic regards them all with a cold stare, eyes ready for war. ”Any other questions, Doctors?"