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“It’s time to eat,” Priyanka called out the household, pouring water into the glasses. Within a few moments, Kahaani had zoomed passed her and sat down on the chair giggling.
Closely followed behind her was Doug, pretending to be out of breath, and moving much slower, “You beat me!” He sighed and sat down, “Guess you’re just too fast for me.” Priyanka smiled, shaking her head slightly at her husband’s antics.
The dinner was fine, it was just like any other regular day.That was until the news came. “Ammi, can I change my name?” Kahaani tried to act as casually as she could about it, not meeting her mother’s eyes.
There was an initial shock at her request, then it turned into amusement, “Why would you want to do that?” She asked with a small laugh looking over at her daughter. The look in her eyes made her wonder if this was a serious request and not a joke.
She’d given a shrug, looking away and picking at her vegetables, “No one can really say it right. It’s much differenter than the people in my class. They think its kinda funny. I like Connie? Cs are a more easier to make than Ks. I can write it gooder too.”
“Better. You write it better,” She didn’t really know what to say. All she could think to do at the moment was to correct her grammar. Priyanka looked up at her husband who share her same concerned expression. She sighed then looked back at her daughter. “You just have to teach them how to say it right. Having a name not like others make you more unique. I suppose Connie is fine, but with more practice you’ll get better at writing Ks.”
There wasn’t anything besides her correction on Kahaani’s grammar that Doug would agree with. He knitted his eyebrows together and shook his head looking over at Priyanka. He understood where both of them were coming from. He had to side with Kahaani on this one however. He looked over at his daughter and felt his stomach lurch.
She looked miserable at being shot down like that. The possibility of her getting made fun of at school because of her name, hit too close to home for him. He never wanted this. He loved her name, it was her and it was perfect. However a name is not supposed to be more important than the way she gets treated at school. He wanted to say something, he was going to say something. He just wanted to hold his daughter tightly and never let go.
The other thing he didn’t want was conflict at the table in front of Kahaani. Priyanka seemed pretty set on her opinion. He knew how stubborn she could get, if it was brought up now, it wasn’t going to end the best. “Are you finished eating?” He asked Kahaani to which she nodded. “You’re excused then. You can go to your room and play, I’ll come see you in a bit, after I finish helping clean the kitchen, alright?” She nodded again then scampered off, leaving the room.
There was a decent amount of silence when she left, the tension was high. Priyanka wasn’t speaking, all she did was clear the table. Doug shook his head and walked over to her, “You just have to teach them? Really? You know that’s bullshit. People aren’t going to change and decide to actually learn how to say it.” Priyanka filled the sink up with water and soap. He rested against the side of the counter, “Besides, it doesn’t matter if it makes her unique. Everyone is unique in their own way. What this does just makes her stick out.”
Priyanka shut off the water and turned swiftly to face him, “What do you want from me, Doug? I’m trying to support her here. I’m trying to make her feel better about her name. Her name is who she is, we poured over names forever picking the right one. It’s like a stab to the heart knowing she doesn’t like it.”
He crossed his arms and huffed. “Your name doesn’t make you. Your choices make you, your personality makes you. Not a name. It doesn’t matter how you feel about it, what matters is her feelings. It’s not that she doesn’t like it. She never said that. What she said, was that the kids make fun of her at school for it. She’s going to face so many different obstacles because of her ethnicity. If americanizing her name deflates some of the judgement she’ll face, then it’s for the best.”
The doctor ran her fingers through her hair. “I know that… I just, why should we have to change our ways to conform with America? Letting her change it just lets all of those other kids know it’s okay to westernize others people’s name when it’s not. There needs to be a stopping point for this, by having her go by something else, we’re not helping to change the way it is. She shouldn’t have to be ashamed of her heritage and where she’s from, Durja-”
“Stop.” He said defiantly, he could feel his temper rising exponentially. “You just lost permission to call me that. Because legally, that’s not it and you know it. I went through the same thing Connie is going through. It’s not fun. Until you can support your daughter with what she’s going through, and accept the idea that she’ll be known as Connie as well, then you can’t switch between my two names,” rubbed the bridge of his nose, “You’ve been acting like my mother tonight.”
Her emotions went from frustration, guilt, and offended at his words. Especially about acting like his mother. Acting like her mother wasn’t ever her goal. But acting like his mother was even worse. She was offended, he had to just be overreacting. Then the disappointment hit her. Disappointment in herself, because he was right. Her mind flashed back to dinner with his parents. She’d been on his side about changing his name, her points remained the same for the most part, but now she was enemy.
Priyanka felt her eyes start to water, she shook her head and looked at the ground. “I’m sorry…” She muttered, wiping at her eyes. “I wasn’t thinking- I wasn’t thinking about Kahaani- or Connie. I was being selfish.”
He was still upset, but he never liked to see her upset either. Doug pulled her into a hug, “I understood where you were coming from, I just needed you to see where I was coming from.” He kissed the side of her head, “I’m sorry, I compared you to my mother… You’re nothing like her. You’re way better than her in every way… Well, maybe except one,” He grinned.
Priyanka pulled away, raising an eyebrow, “And what would that be?”
“I don’t think anything could be better than her cooking… Now that’s the thing I miss the most.”
She rolled her eyes, “Mine’s not good enough for you huh?”
“Well… When it’s edible it’s not too bad.”
She smacked his arm playfully, “Ha ha, very funny. I make good food. If you miss it so much why don’t you just go back? You obviously love her food more than me.”
He laughed, “Impossible. Besides, if I did leave you to go back to that mess, they probably wouldn’t even consider taking me back in. But that’s never going to happen. I love my life exactly how it is right here with you. I wouldn’t change a thing,” he smiled and leaned in and kissed her.
“Gross,” Doug turned to look, Kahaani had entered the room, her hands covering her eyes.
“I thought I told you to go play in your room,” He said with a laugh.
“I got bored waiting for you…” She whinned walking over to him. “Now, I’m so bored I can’t move anymore…” Kahaani feel to her knees dramatically, and then wrapped her arms around her father’s leg. “Won’t you come play with me yet?”
He bent down and pried her from his leg, “Of course,” he lifted her up and seated her down on the counter. Priyanka was about to protest but kept her mouth shut. “First, we need to talk. Do you want to be called Connie?” The five year old looked between her parents and their expressions. Reluctantly she nodded.
“Just at school. It’s just easier that way. I like my name, but they don’t really like it,” she shrugged.
“Well, if you wanna be Connie, or Kahaani, it’s okay. I love you no matter what,” Priyanka said her voice cracking slightly. “If things like this ever happen again, where people are being mean to you or making fun of you, tell me alright?”
Connie smiled brightly and nodded, “You got it, dude,” she gave a thumbs up.
Priyanka looked up at her husband and raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. “Well, seems someone’s been watching some Full House.” Doug averted his gaze, as if to try and hide his obvious guilt. She laughed and shook her head. “Alright, you two go off and play, I’ve gotta finish cleaning.”
The five year old stretched her arms out to her mother. Priyanka lifted her off the counter and Kahaani wrapped her arms around her neck in a hug. “Thank you, Ammi. I love you.”
Priyanka was stunned for a brief moment then smiled, “I love you too, Connie,” she said and kissed her cheek.