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Chan nods his head as he listens to the track. He then hits the button so that Felix can hear him from inside the recording room. “Can you give your voice more rawness, do you know why I mean?” Chan asks and Felix nods. He says his line again and Chan smiles. “Perfect. That’s all for today, you can go.” Felix takes off the headphones and walks out the door to Chan.
“How long are you gonna stay?” Felix asks.
“I need to go over you and the other’s raw vocals.” Chan says.
“Okay, but don’t stay too long, we’ll all miss you too much.” Felix giggles and he sends Chan a wink. Chan smiles softly and nods.
“Tell everyone I won’t be long.” Chan whispers, then Felix leaves. Chan listens over the recordings that he has accumulated through this past week closely, noting which ones he may want to re-record and such. He feels his body tense and he sighs. He takes off his hat and groans, shutting his eyes tight. He opens them and lifts one of his hands to feel his head, feeling the new fluffiness that sits on top of his head.
Chan is a wolf-hybrid, hybrids are in the world but not common. They are usually looked down upon in society, almost as just a talking animal. As a hybrid you can suppress your physical attributes for a while of time, and as Chan is an idol, he does this quite often. He does not let his ears or tail be shown and be in the open for long, fear of being caught, but sometimes his body fights against him and exposes them.
No one knows Chan is a hybrid, he fears too much of them if they did know, if anyone knew. Not even his members, his boyfriends, knew. He wants to keep it that way, he didn’t know how they would react. He doesn’t know if they are even okay with hybrids, not to mention he has been lying to them for as long as they had all met each other.
Chan groans and his ears twitch. “God damn it.” He mutters to himself and he leans back in his chair. He’s tired, exhausted. He stares at his laptop, thinking before pushing himself up and out of the chair. He grabs his hat and puts it back on, ignoring the feeling of his ears being crushed inside and walks out and locks the door behind him.
The drive home goes by fast and he walks into the dorm. He hears people giggling and talking in the kitchen and he pops his head in. “Told you I’d be home.” Chan hums and Felix turns to look at him. His eyes light up as he sees the older.
“It’s been two hours.” Felix replies and he has a smile on his face.
“But it’s still the same day.” Chan points out.
“One of your best.” Minho says and Chan nods.
“He gets it.” Chan says and he walks towards him. Minho shuffles something on a pan. Chan kisses the back of his head and then wraps Felix in his arms.
“We were talking about watching a movie tonight.” Felix mutters as he has his face shoved in Chan’s chest. Chan hums and pulls back to look at him.
“What movie?” Chan asks.
“No idea, Seungmin chose it.” Felix shrugs.
“Okay, sounds fun.” Chan replies. He then backs away from the two. “Shower open?” He asks.
“Yep.” Minho says.
“Okay, I’ll be back.” Chan says and he walks away. He can hear everyone else in their rooms or the gaming room. He’ll greet them later, right now he needs to get rid of the sweat that covers his body. He locks the door as he walks in and turns on the shower, letting it heat up.
He strips and glances at himself in the mirror, seeing his ears and tail free. He frowns and his ears go flat. He hates them, he does, all they do is cause issues. He has instincts that come with being a wolf-hybrid but he is able to pass most of them off as just quirks while others he suppressed deeply. He runs a hand through his hair and gets in the shower.
He gets out once he is clean and wraps a towel around his waist, he sees the tail poking out from underneath and his ears and he squints. He then shuts his eyes tight and sighs, as he reopens them they are gone and he smiles. He takes his dirty clothes in his hand and makes his way outside. As he exists, Jisung is standing in the hall and smiles. “Hey sexy!” He shouts and Changbin looks out from Jisung’s room that he was in moments before.
“Look at you! Have you been taking extra time in the gym?” Changbin asks and Chan rolls his eyes.
“Let me get dressed.” Chan replies.
“You can stay like that.” Hyunjin says as he walks down the hall to the others and Chan laughs.
“No thanks.” Chan says and Hyunjin whines.
“One day.” Changbin sighs and Chan smiles.
He disappears into his room and changes. He glances at his bed and frowns. He’s been stressed and because of that, his bed has once again become his nest of sorts. No one questions it, or the fact that Chan refers to it as a nest, they see it as a funny little thing Chan says, no one takes it seriously. He hears his phone buzz and he picks up.
Manager
I know you guys have been working hard this week, but we still have a few more days. Please try and keep everyone motivated.
Chan deals with a lot of pressure as the leader, and though it’s a lot, he is glad he is the one dealing with the responsibilities, even though right now he wants to rip his hair out.
A few more days?
I can’t do this for a couple more days!
I have spent almost more than half the day in the studio!
I want to sleep!
I want to rest!
Chan
Got it! You can count on me!
Chan shuts off his phone and throws it on his bed. He knows he has deep circles under his eyes and that every step he takes drains him, but he can’t give up, nor can he let the others know it’s getting to him. He needs to be the strong one, the one the others can lean on.
He leaves his room and can hear everyone talking in the living room, so he heads there. He sees Jeongin lying across Seungmin and Minho. “Someone’s comfy.” Chan says and Jeongin sits up.
“Finally! We can start the movie now.” Jeongin says as he turns to Changbin who holds the remote. Chan smiles and takes a seat on the floor near some of the others as they start the movie. The movie starts and Chan feels his body tense, and he freezes.
What the fuck?
Chan looks at the others to see if anyone is looking at him, he sees that the coast is clear. He then reaches up to touch his head, but there is nothing there. He glances at everyone and then lets out a sigh of relief. There is then a scream coming from the television and he jumps back. “Holy fuck.” Chan whispers.
“That was so predictable Chan, how did you not realize?” Seungmin teases and Chan shrugs.
“Don’t know.” Chan tries to laugh it off as he tries to relax again. But it’s not long until he feels something jolt through his body and he leans forward groaning. Suddenly everyone is looking at him, though he doesn’t know it yet as his eyes are shut and his head is down.
“Channie?” Jisung whispers. Chan just groans and digs his hand in to his sides.
“Chan?” Minho calls and then he’s getting off the couch and kneeling in front of him. “Look at me.” Chan shakes his head and gasps out a noise.
“I’m okay. Sorry— I-I don’t know what’s going on.” Chan mumbles. Minho caresses his cheek and lifts his head, making him look at him.
“What hurts.” Minho says.
“Nothing.” Chan says breathlessly and then he’s standing up, pulling away from the touch.
“Chan?” Felix calls out, because he knows something is wrong.
“I’m fine guys. I think I’m just gonna lay down.” Chan says and then he’s turning fast and escaping to his room. He crawls on his bed and covers himself, letting the scents of the others clothes settle him, but then another wave of pain runs through him, he yells in pain.
“Chan.” Changbin says as he slams the door open, everyone else following close behind him. Chan whimpers and shuts his eyes tight, trying to become a ball of himself, to hide.
“Go away— please. I’m fine.” Chan tries. They all surrounded the bed and he can feel their presence.
“What’s going on?” Hyunjin asks.
“Nothing— nothing at all. Go back to the movie.” Chan pleads, but no one moves. Another wave of pain runs through his body and he spasms. He groans as he grabs at his body. “Go— please go. Please.” He begs.
He shuts his eyes tight and whimpers, and he knows. He knows that his ears are out in the open, he hears his boyfriends gasp. He doesn’t dare open his eyes, instead he just begins to softly cry. “Chan.” Jisung whispers. “You’re a hybrid.”
“I said go away!” He growls and then Chan is sitting up, looking at them all. He’s surprised when none of them flinch, but instead look at one another.
“Chan, let’s get you changed okay?” Minho calls out. Chan shakes his head.
“No! I want you all to get out! Just— go!” He demands.
“We’re not gonna do that.” Seungmin whispers. Chan’s ears twitch at his words and he whines.
“ Why? ” Chan asks.
“We wanna help.” Jeongin says and Chan looks at him.
“H-help?” Chan questions.
“Baby, you’re in pain.” Changbin says.
“Let us help you.” Felix says. Chan shuts his eyes and slowly nods. He then feels hands touching him, then his pants are taken off and his tail is free. He feels someone touch it and he flinches away. “Sorry.” Felix apologizes.
“Feels weird.” Chan admits.
“Has anyone ever petted you?” Hyunjin asks and Chan shakes his head. “Can we?” He asks, and Chan hesitates for a moment before he nods. He then watched as Felix raises a hand to touch his ears and he leans into the touch.
“Good boy.” Minho hums and Chan feels his body relax at the words. Felix continues to pet him and then suddenly Chan pulls away, his pupils dilated.
“Will—“ Chan pauses and shakes his head, trying to pull himself back but Minho is shaking his head.
“Nope, let your instincts talk.” Minho demands.
“Come— come into nest?” Chan whispers and they all smile.
“Of course we will!” Jisung shouts. They all crawl inside and then pet Chan.
“Such a good nest.” Seungmin hums and Chan preens. They all knew just what to say to the stressed hybrid.
“Made it nice— nice for mates.” Chan stutters and his eyes are glazed over, he’s gone.
“We love it.” Jeongin says.
“Why doesn’t pup lay down? Can you go that?” Minho whispers and Chan nods. He does as he’s asked and then his eyes shut, soon sleeping.
Once he is, Minho looks at the others. “How the— how did he hide it for so long?” Felix asks. They all look at eachother, their eyes filled with concern as they try to wrap their brains around it.
“He hasn’t been letting himself act out his instincts or let his tail and ears breathe, he hides them.” Minho replies. “He hit his limit, his body was shutting down and his hybrid side took over.”
“He’s a wolf-hybrid.” Changbin whispers and Minho nods.
“I had a suspicion of something.” Minho admits. “Not him being a hybrid, but something.”
“What do we do?” Jisung asks.
“I grew up with hybrids.” Minho says. “We have to let him act on instincts for a while, his body needs to rest and reset.”
“We still have a couple days of working. Like— hours and hours of work.” Hyunjin points out.
“No. Changbin call the managers, we need a few days off.” Minho demands and Changbin is standing.
“Got it.” Changbin shoots back and he’s already dialing on his phone. Minho looks back down at Chan and sighs.
“It’s gonna be a struggle the next few days, be prepared.” Minho warns.
—
Chan wakes a few hours later and his body twitches as he does. He hums and sits up, he opens his eyes and freezes as he sees Changbin and Seungmin sat on his bed with him. “You’re awake.” Changbin says softly. “Minho said some of us should stay with you while you sleep so you don’t wake up alone.” Chan hand shoots up to his head and he feels his ears. He backs up and his ears flatten.
“Channie, it’s okay.” Seungmin tries to reassure. “We know, it’s okay.”
“Leave!” Chan shouts but Changbin is shaking his head.
“We aren’t doing that. I called the managers, they are letting us take a few days off.” Changbin explains.
“No! I got— we gotta work!” Chan tries to jump off the bed but Changbin stops him.
“Stay in here, stay in bed. You gotta stay in your nest.” Changbin says. Chan struggles against him and his breathing picks up, he starts to heave, falling limp in Changbin’s arms. “Fuck— Jisung!” He shouts. Chan sees Jisung enter the room and sees his worried eyes lay on him.
“Channie? You’re okay. Breathe.” Jisung whispers as he approaches slowly. Jisung is the best with panic attacks, he has them the most sadly, but because of it he knows the best way to handle them.
“Where— where is everyone? Do they hate me? I wanted to tell you guys, I did.” Chan pants out and he looks around at everyone. “I was just scared. I was scared. I thought you guys would hate me. Do— do you hate me? Please don’t hate me. I’m sorry. I-I’m really sorry.” Jisung shakes his head and pets his head, even as he’s worked up he leans into it.
“No one’s mad. They’re just making food, you haven’t eaten.” Jisung whispers. “You need to take a deep breath okay?” Jisung hums and Chan whines.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers and Jisung shakes his head.
“No need to be sorry Channie. It’s okay.” Jisung reassures. “Now, breathe with me.” Chan does as he’s told and once his breathing calms he lets his head fall on Jisung’s shoulder.
“Jisung!” Someone shouts from the kitchen. Jisung makes a noise and sighs, pulling Chan back and pushing him to Seungmin and Changbin who take him happily.
“I’m sorry. I gotta go back.” Jisung sighs and Chan whines.
“Don’t go.” Chan says and he’s panicking.
“It’s okay.” Changbin coos as he rubs his back.
“He’ll be back.” Seungmin reassures and Jisung leaves the room quickly. Changbin’s hands travel to Chan’s waist and hold them tight, grounding him.
“Close your eyes.” Changbin whispers in his ear and once again, Chan does as he’s told.
“Look at you. So obedient.” Seungmin points out and Changbin shushes him.
“Hungry.” Chan whines and he turns himself to face Changbin, Changbin grips his waist again.
“I know.” Changbin says. Chan then looks to Seungmin and leans to him.
“Scent?” He asks and his pupils are dilated again. Seungmin looks at Changbin and he nods.
“Yeah— yeah. Come here.” Seungmin says softly. Chan jumps into his lap, and shoves his face into the nook of Seungmin’s neck. Seungmin stiffens and stills, letting Chan work, but as he feels the awkwardness he pulls back.
“Is— is not— I can stop.” Chan whispers but then Seungmin is shaking his head.
“Hey, I didn’t say I didn’t like it. I’m just not used to this, it’s okay.” Seungmin says.
“It— I’m not trying to be weird. It calms me.” Chan explains.
“You don’t need to explain.” Changbin whispers. “You do what you need.” Chan nods and looks back to Seungmin.
“Can I?” Chan asks and Seungmin smiles.
“Scent me.” Seungmin says, and Chan is diving back in.
After he scents the younger for a while he crawls off and lays back down, humming. He then hears someone knock on the open door of his room but he doesn’t bother to move. “Pup? Hungry?” Hyunjin calls out and suddenly Chan sits up, filled with energy again.
“Food?” He asks and Hyunjin smiles.
“God— he is so cute. Isn’t he so cute?” Hyunjin looks at the others and smiles. “Yep, good. Come with me.” Chan stands up on wobbly legs and takes the hand and lets him lead him to the kitchen.
He smells the food and his ears perk up. Minho comes out of the kitchen with a plate. “Felix helped me cook.” Minho says. Felix comes out as well and smiles.
“I did.” Felix confirms.
“Channie!” Jeongin shouts and Chan turns his head. Jeongin is sitting on the floor by the couch surrounded by pillows and blankets. “We made you a nest out here!” Chan let’s go of Hyunjin’s hand and walks to it, sitting inside the nest and his eyes widened. “Is— is it okay? Hyung said you need to be in a nest right now, so we made you out here so we can all be with you.”
“I did. The nest will help keep Chan calm.” Minho says. Chan nods and smiles, flicking the pillows and blankets near him.
“Love it. Perfect.” He rambles. Jeongin just smiles lovingly. Jisung is sitting on the couch near them and giggles.
“Can he eat in here?” Jisung asks for Chan and Minho hums. Everyone approaches the nest and Minho continues to hold his plate.
“Yes, he can.” Minho agrees. He hands Chan the plate and instantly Chan is throwing it in his mouth. “Slow down.” Minho says and Chan does. He finishes it quickly and then places the plate outside his nest.
“All done.” Felix says cheekily, Chan nods happily. Chan stands up and then grabs his boyfriends, dragging them in.
“Sit.” Chan demands and everyone does. “Good.” Seungmin chuckles to himself as the others coo at Chan. “Sleep.” Chan says.
“You’ve only been up for like an hour.” Seungmin points out.
“He’s tired. He’s been working nonstop for a while.” Jisung says.
“You can sleep Chan.” Felix says and Chan nods. He lays down between all his boyfriends and then closes his eyes, falling back asleep.
They lay there for a while until Jeongin grows bored. “I’m gonna go game.” He announces and he goes to stand. A growl is heard below him and he looks down, he feels a hand grab his ankle and he sees Chan’s eyes open.
“Chan?” Hyunjin calls out, but Chan doesn’t respond.
“No leaving.” Chan growls.
“Chan.” Changbin says.
“No leaving nest.” Chan repeats and he pulls Jeongin down. He falls to the floor and Minho sighs.
“Chan, you could have hurt him.” Minho says.
“No leaving the nest!” Chan says again.
“Calm down.” Minho says, and Chan growls and Minho raises an eye. “I know you haven’t gotten to be in your element in probably forever, but you do not get to act like this. You use your words.” Minho knows it’s probably humiliating, the fact that he’s talking to Chan like this, but Chan needs this. “Now let go.” Chan lets go and sits up. “Apologize.” Chan mumbles something quietly. “Say it again, louder.”
“M’ sorry.” Chan mumbles.
“It’s okay.” Jeongin says softly, and Chan hears the tone, his ears flatten again.
“Did I scare you? I didn’t— just wanted.” Chan pauses and whimpers. “Safe.”
“What baby?” Jisung asks.
“I-I feel safe with all you here. I-I don’t know why but— you— you can’t leave without. Don’t leave please.” Chan pleads.
“It’s your hybrid. Wolves have packs. We’re your pack, you want us here to watch you and keep you safe. It’s normal.” Minho says.
“How do you know so much about wolf-hybrids?” Changbin asks.
“I said it before, I grew up with hybrids.” Minho says.
“But why wolf-hybrids? Why do you know so much about them?” Jeongin asks.
“My dad, he’s a— he’s a wolf-hybrid.” Minho says softly.
“ What ?” Seungmin gasps.
“I didn’t— hybrids are looked down upon if anyone knew my dad was one, I probably wouldn’t have gotten— you know.” Minho mumbles.
“That’s why I didn’t tell you guys.” Chan whispers.
“We get it.” Felix says. “You just wanted to protect yourself.”
“I wish you told us though, don’t you trust us?” Jisung asks. “Like— later on, when we started getting closer, started dating.”
“I do! I trust you! Of course I do!” Chan shouts. “I-I just— wolf-hybrids specifically are looked down upon!” Chan starts to tear up. “Please— please understand. I-I didn’ wanna get muzzled.” Everyone goes silent.
“Chan? What do you mean?” Hyunjin asks softly, and Chan sobs.
“I didn’t wanna get muzzled!” He shouts.
“Chan, we— why would anyone muzzle you?” Felix asks and his voice shakes.
“To punish me! When— when I-“ Chan stops himself as he sees the faces of his lovers warp into concern. “Minho— you— you know what I mean.” Minho shakes his head slowly.
“My dad was never muzzled . Who— who muzzled you?” Minho asks.
“M-my parents.” Chan says softly. “I-I don’t understand.”
“They muzzled you?” Minho asks, and he sounds disgusted.
“Were— are your parents hybrids?” Changbin asks and Chan shakes his head.
“It— it’s recessive in my family.” Chan whispers.
“Chan, look at me.” Minho demands and Chan does. “Muzzling is horrible , no one does that anymore. It’s— it’s abuse!”
“But— they only did it when I was bad.” Chan replies.
“Bad? Bad how?” Hyunjin asks and he sounds mad.
“When I was younger I-I acted more with my hybrid side. So— I chewed things and— I used to steal my parents clothes to— to make a nest, and— I didn’t hide my tail and ears.” Chan says.
“That’s normal stuff.” Minho sighs. “That’s— Chan you were just a kid.”
“They stopped when I left.” Chan says.
“Wait— left? You mean they did it until you were eighteen?” Felix asks and Chan nods.
“I thought— I really thought it was normal. I didn’t know it was— I should have told you guys!” Chan cries. “I’m a fucking— god!” Chan groans and grabs his hair. “I’m broken.”
“No you’re not.” Jeongin says softly.
“I am!” Chan shouts. “I can’t— I can’t—“ He grabs his chest heaving.
“Chan, deep breath.” Jisung says and Chan shakes his head.
“Leave me alone, please.” Chan cries and he tries to leave the next but as he tries to do so, his wolf whines, which makes his body freeze.
“No, you gotta stay in here.” Felix says softly.
“Channie?” Minho says and everyone looks at him because Minho never uses nicknames. “You gotta keep us safe. Gotta keep pack safe.” Chan whimpers and shakes his head but then he leans towards them. “That’s it Channie, relax.”
Chan nuzzles into his boyfriends and gasps as he tries to calm himself down. Jisung rubs his ears, a smile on his face. “Such a good puppy.” Jisung praises and Chan hums.
“Look at you, just a big pup.” Hyunjin tries and Chan pants happily. He closes his eyes and lets Jisung rub his ears as his lovers whisper praises.
“We love you.” Changbin says. “We love you so much.”
“I lied— I kept this big ass fucking secret.” Chan mumbles and Changbin shushes him.
“It doesn’t matter.” Seungmin chimes in. Chan’s exhausted again, his body tenses and everything hurts. “Chan?” He calls out.
“Hurts.” Chan whines.
“What hurts? Talk to us baby.” Changbin says.
“I-I don’t— I don’t know.” Chan whimpers.
“You’re worked up. Your body is in overdrive and you keep wiring yourself up, you need to relax.” Minho reminds him. “You gotta let us take care of you, okay?” Chan nods weakly.
“We’re gonna help you.” Changbin whispers.
“You can trust us.” Felix whispers.
“I do.” Chan replies.
“Then you have nothing to worry about.” Seungmin says.
—
The next few days go by fast, they all barely leave the living room, all taking care and giving Chan all the love that he deserves. When their break is over they have a long conversation on work hours and telling the company. Chan hides his ears and tail less and less often around the others and they all love it. They realized how easy it is to read him when they’re out in the open.
—
“Do you want bacon?” Felix asks and Chan’s ears perk.
“If it’s not too much work.” Chan tries to say calmly, but Felix can physically see the excitement.
“I’ll make bacon.” Felix giggles.
“Thanks.” Chan replies.
—
“Can I sleep with you?” Jeongin asks and Chan’s tail wags.
“Y-yeah, why?” Chan asks.
“I miss you.” Jeongin says. Chan’s ears perk and his tail wags faster.
—
“I’m leaving!” Jisung shouts and he opens the front door.
“Wait!” Chan shouts. Jisung turns and hums in confusion, then Chan is rubbing his cheek against against Jisung’s before pulling back, looking very proud of himself. “Now you can leave.” His tail sways happily behind him.
“What was that for?” Jisung asks.
“You smell like me now, safe.” Chan says.
“Possessive.” Changbin says and Chan growls. He looks at him but his ears are still perked.
“You’re next!” Chan shouts and then he jumps to Changbin, burying his face in his neck.
—
Chan regrets not telling them earlier, he thanks them everyday for being so understanding and so supportive. He was missing a lot of things that he should be doing to keep himself sane as a wolf-hybrid, like scenting his lovers, and was now given the support that his wolf always felt it was missing.
“So Chan.” Minho says as they all sit on the couch.
“Yeah?” Chan replies.
“Your rut.” Minho says nonchalantly. Chan rolls his eyes and groans.
“God damn it.” Chan says, because curse you Minho.
“You have a what?”
“Oh my god!”
“Are you serious?”
“Can we help?”
“When will it be?”
“Please tell us you have one.”
“That’s so hot.”
This conversation was going to rile everyone up, Chan knows it, though he’s not opposed to it, after all, he has seven hot boyfriends. What is there not to enjoy with a rut if you are going to have seven mates with you?