Archive of Our Own

“Once upon a time, there was a family. The father was a composer and the mother, well there wasn't any information about her. Soon, their family grew with a beautiful baby girl. The child has a healthy one. But tragedy struck, the mother fell ill and soon passed away. The father, though heart-broken, raised the girl. She ended up just like him - a composer. She started composing during middle school. Her father thought she was “blessed by music”. He was very proud of her.

One day, her father struggled with a composing competition. His girl offered to help him with composing one part of the song. That part she wrote helped him win the competition. It did so well that it was used everywhere. Through anger her father overwork himself. He ended up in the hospital. The girl couldn’t believe she hurt someone with her music. She swore that she would compose music to save people only. WIth that determination, she started overworking herself. Every song she uploaded she hoped to save someone, but she never knew. Nothing made her stop. She composed day and night, until she disappeared, never to be heard of again.”
- That wasn’t a scary story, Mizuki! - Ena exclaimed.

- Huh? I was supposed to tell a scary story? - Mizuki questioned.

- Well, we are heading to an abandoned building so something scary might be good

to set the mood.

- Well, actually…
- Aren’t we going to her house? - I ask.

- WHAT!? - Ena exclaimed. - I thought we were going to an ordinary abandoned building, not her home!
- Hehe..? - Mizuki chuckled awkwardly. 

- When did she pass? - I ask.

- Like a couple years ago. I don’t think that’s recent.
- That is recent! - Enas' color faded from her face.

- Aw, is Ena emon scared~ - Mizuki asked teasingly. She came closer to Ena .

- N-no! - Ena pushed Mizuki away. - I ’m not scared.

- You ’re white as a ghost, Ena . - I crack a smile.

- Shut up!

The train stopped. We reached our destination.

- C’mon, we get off here. - Mizuki called for us and we quickly followed her .

- So, where are we headed now?
- Just follow me! I know where we’re going⛥ - Mizuki said with enthusiasm.

We started following her as she reached the empty house.
- Here we are! - Mizuki smiled.
- It’s more run-downed than I thought… It looks creepy. - Ena shrugged.

The only reason we’re here is because Mizuki thought it would be a great idea. “To explore something new might give us inspiration or motivation.” She said.

I take a few steps forward, intrigued by the building. It’s a purple-ish gray house. The color reminds me of clouds when there’s a thunderstorm. I run my hand through the old painted bricks. The feeling is nice…

- Mafuyu ? Why are you touching it? It could collapse any second! - Ena was a bit skeptical.

- It’s fine, Ena . It’s not that old. - I calmly replied.

- Okay, but what if a ghost comes out?

- … …
- You can’t actually believe what I said, Ena. - Mizuki sighed. She reached her hand out since Ena was still behind us. - C’mon, I’ll be by your side!

- … I trust you. - Ena took Mizuki 's hand and stepped forward.

- So… Are we going inside?
- HUH?! - They both exclaimed.

- What? Did I say something wrong?
- You were thinking about going in? - Ena looked shocked.

- We wanted to explore, right? - I turned around to face th em .

- That is true… - Mizuki debated. - Alright, let’s go inside.

Ena wanted to object but she didn’t say anything.

From the corner of my eye I saw a white shadow peeking the corner of the house. I turned my head to look at it but it was gone… “What..?” I questioned myself. I wanted to go and check it out but I got called.

- C’mon Mafuyu !

- Yeah, don’t stall!
- I’m coming!..

I go towards the entrance. They were already waiting for me.
I look back one last time before entering the house.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Darkness took over the hallway as we closed the door behind us. I turned the flashlight on my phone to reveal a dusty hallway. I think I saw some spiders. My feet started moving forward into the dusty abyss. The girls followed closely. Soon enough we encountered 3 doors.

- Do we split here? - I ask.
- Won’t it be risky?

- What are we risking?
- I guess ourselves. - Ena tuned in.
- My point exactly. The house could fall apart at any moment.
- It’s not that old for it to fall apart. But let’s stick together if that makes you calmer. Choose a door.

- The third door? Lucky number 3.
Me and Mizuki look at Ena.
- What? People say it's lucky!

I reach for the third door handle. It leads to a kitchen. Although the paint was tearing up, it was painted perfectly.

- It’s a nice kitchen.

We continued to look around. There was canned food left in some cupboards, as well as cup noodle packages.

Next room was a living room. There wasn’t anything special about it. There were some papers with composed songs. We took them, hoping we would be able to play them.

The rest of the house was boring. We didn’t find anything interesting… Until we got to the only bedroom. It was full with papers - on the floor, the walls and on every surface. There were boxes on the ground everywhere.

- What the…

We started looking around the room and the papers. They were all composed songs.

- Are you guys seeing this? 

- Yeah… You were right Mizuki , she really went mad. - Ena said as she was looking at various papers.

- I don’t think calling her ‘mad’ is appropriate, Ena . - Mizuki looked at her .

- Well I couldn’t find a better word… - Ena chuckled awkwardly.

- I feel like I ’ve heard some of these songs before… The sheet music feels familiar.

- You remember sheet music?

- Well, kinda. I can hum some notes and they sound familiar. I wonder if there’s music equipment here…

I started looking around the room, shoving boxes around but trying to not spill any paper. After some digging I found a synthesizer. A pretty big one.
- Wow… Guys, look what I found!
- So there was in fact equipment here! Can you play for us, Mafuyu? - Mizuki asked.

- Sure, I can try.

I grab the nearest sheet music. It was titled “Composing the future”. There were some lyrics written with it, but just a few. “Hopefully I don’t screw this up.” I think to myself. Slowly but surely my fingers began playing. I worked with the few lyrics I had and I added some that came up on the top of my head. It sounded very beautiful.

- Were those all the original lyrics?
- No, some were that I just thought of.
- Good, because I wrote them down. - Ena walked up to me with a sheet of paper, the lyrics I sang written on them. - We can take these back and maybe re-write the song? How does that sound?
- That sounds cool! But won’t we get in trouble?

- I guess, but who knows?

I feel eerie. Something is telling me we shouldn’t touch this song.

- What if we keep it the way it is?

- What?

- We don’t mess with it? Like we keep it the way it is.

- I ’m good with whatever. I like the song anyways.

I feel eerie. Something is telling me we aren’t alone.

- But none of us have the equipment to play the song.

- Can’t we use something online?

- It might be hard to find.

I feel eerie. It’s cold. Freezing cold.

- Are you guys… Cold?

- Cold? It’s summer. It shouldn’t be cold. Are you okay?

I feel eerie. A gust of wind blows my back. Ena and Mizuki are by my side, why can’t they detect it? A shiver climbs up my spine. I sense eyes staring at the back of my neck. It’s like they’re caressing my neck slowly.  I want to turn around. I have to turn around. Their voices are muffled, I can’t hear anything other than my thoughts telling me to turn around. I hold my breath as I slowly turn around…

Nothing. There was absolutely nothing behind us. Why did I feel eyes stare at me?
- Did you guys feel something staring at you?

- No? Are you okay? You ’ve been acting weird ever since we entered the house.

- Yeah… I just feel off. Like someone’s watching us…

- Now don’t say such creepy things! - Ena squealed. - I ’m already frightened enough by this place alone!

- Let’s think reasonably about this. We were the only ones here, how can someone else enter?
I stay quiet. My last intentions are to scare Ena even more with the idea of a ghost being here. That would just cause panic.
- I think we should continue looking around.

- But we looked all over the house. There’s nothing more to explore.

I get up and start walking out. Ena yells behind me .

- Hey! What happened to sticking together? - She grabs my wrist. - Don’t just run off

somewhere!

- I just need fresh air…

Ena sighs. She lets go of my wrist. Mizuki followed close behind.

- I ’ll take some of the sheet music then. Ena , can you stay with me?

- Yeah, of course.

- I ’ll be waiting outside…

I walk outside, leaving them alone.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

There’s a slight breeze outside as the sun sets on the horizon. My hearing detects birds chirping in the distance. The leaves shuffle as the breeze becomes stronger. I close my eyes. My lungs fill with air as I take a breath in… And out… It feels like they got cleaned from all the dust that I inhaled…

I feel eerie again. My breathing slows down. The coldness takes over my body once again. Opening my eyes, I look around. There’s nothing in the front ward. My legs started walking over to the corner where I saw the white shadow. I peek over it, nothing’s there. I continue my search as I head to the backyard.

I follow a small path leading to a beautiful back garden. It was still full of flowers, even if weeds had taken over most of it. A little white gate stood before me . The metal that was holding it to the fence has started to rust from all the rain it’s been through. I gently open the gate, making sure it doesn’t fall off its hinges. There I saw it: the white shadow from earlier. It… No, she was sitting on the ground, looking at a white carnation. There were lots of those in the garden, but this one was isolated. Like it was special. Her long thin hair looked like a long veil, dragging on the floor. I can hear her soft voice singing a song, a gentle song, almost like a lullaby. Her singing grew louder, maybe because I subconsciously moved closer to her . She seemed to notice me , turning her head to look up. Our eyes met. Her s had fear written all over them. I kneeled down beside her , trying to look as un-intimidating as possible.

- That’s a very beautiful flower. It’s a carnation, correct?

She nodded her head, her gaze focused back at the flower. I could get a better look at her face now. She had deep blue eyes with white eyelashes and pale skin. Her lips and cheeks contrasted with her skin as they were a more warmer color. She wore a blue zip up hoodie with black shorts.

I finally shifted my focus from her to the flower. It looked almost dried up. I took a water bottle from my bag and poured some of it on the flower.

- Hopefully It doesn’t dry up. It looks important to me if it’s all alone here.

She looked at me again, her eyes lit up. She smiled softly and nodded.

- You don’t talk often?

She shook her head.

- I ’ll take that as a no… - after some thinking I spoke again. - Can I at least know your name? Can you write it?

She looked around, looking for something. She grabbed a nearby stick and started writing in the dirt. After a few seconds in the muck was spelled “Yoisaki Kanade”.
- That’s your name? I’ve never heard of it before. It has a nice ring to it.
Kanade smiled sweetly and bowed, then pointed at me, tilting her head to the side.
- Do you want to know my name?

She nods.
- I’m Asahina Mafuyu. - I bow to her as well.

Realization suddenly hit me .

- You ’re that composer that died here… Aren’t you ?

Kanades' smile dropped and her face sulked. Her head slowly nodded. I guess she didn’t like this topic.

- Sorry for mentioning it.

She shook her head.
- It’s fine, I just didn’t expect you to know it.

- Wait, you can talk? - We exchanged surprised looks.

- You can hear me?! - She said surprisingly.

- Y-yeah I hear you loud and clear. - Her voice was as beautiful as her humming.

- I was surprised that you can see me and now you can hear me ? It kinda makes everything better..! - She smiled.

- Have you ever tried talking with other people that have seen you ?

- No one has come here at all since I died. It’s been pretty much me, myself and I. It’s been lonely, but I got used to loneliness. The flowers keep me enough company. I wish I was still able to take care of them. - She sighs.

- I can help. - I spoke without thinking.

She turned to me.

- What?

- Um… I can help you, with taking care of them.

- It’s fine, I need to let go of them sooner or later.

We stayed silent. It was an awkward silence.

- Mafuyu ! Where are you? - I hear yelling in the distance. I can tell it’s Mizuki and Ena .

- I ’m guessing you didn’t come alone if I heard someone looking for you. - Kanade spoke softly.

- Yeah, they were inside gathering some of the music you composed.

She gave me a surprised look.

- My composings? Why?

- We decided to try and bring them back to life, because-

- So you ’re the one who played “Composing the Future”?

- Yeah. Were you the one staring at me ?

A shy look appeared on her face.

- I heard you playing and I couldn’t resist hearing my song again. But you felt me looking at you ?

- The room even got cold. It’s the middle of summer so there was no other explanation than a ghost. - I chuckled. It sounded silly saying it out loud.

- Mafuyu !

- I have to go now, Ena s impatient.

- I understand. I hope I can see you again.

- Yeah, same.

I wave at her and quickly leave the garden, still making sure the white door doesn’t fall off its hinges.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

I run out, trying to reach them before they reach the garden, making me almost bump into Ena .

- Woah! Sorry.

- Be careful! Don’t just run out of corners. - She fussed, even though she looked scared.

- My bad…

- Anyways, we gathered the sheets and we’re ready to go. - Mizuki waved the sheets around. She had the same terrifying look.

- Great, I ’m also ready to go. Can I see what you guys took? - I reach for the music sheets. She handed them to me.

- Of course.

I take a quick look at the titles of the songs, but I didn’t see “Composing the Future”.

- Hey, did you take “Composing the Future”? I don’t see it here.

- Which one was that?

- The song that I played.

- Oh, we didn’t find it. It was very weird.

- Did you look around? It was probably on the synthesizer. - I start walking back to the entrance. - I ’ll go fetch it really quickly. I don’t want to leave that one behind.

- Wait, Mafuyu ! - I closed the door behind me . Switching on my phone, I use it as a flashlight. I don’t remember which door led to her bedroom, so I might take a while to find it again. I went through the kitchen and living room once again - nothing had changed, as expected. Though as I left the living room I saw a new door, which I haven’t seen before. I entered the other room first, her bedroom. I quickly walked over to the music equipment and there it was: “Composing the Future”, staring right back at me . I take it, looking over it again and turning to go back. I see the new door again, feeling strange about it. How didn’t we notice this door before? Maybe there’s more music inside? I should collect it, I don’t want to leave any of her music behind.

The door was kind of hard to open. I had to use all of my force to open it, but I managed to crack it open.

I gently open the door…

My eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing as my nausea slowly crept up. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to run away. I didn’t want to see her like this. Did the others find her ? What if they saw this? Is this why they looked so scared? I can’t catch my breath…

Mafuyu 's hand trembled, making the phone fall out of her grip. It revealed more fully of what she saw. It was Kanade s corpse, hanging from the ceiling. The now thin hair was barely touching the floor. Her body has started to slowly decay, making the room smell and attract rodents. Some pieces of her skin were eaten by them. No wonder she went missing.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

- It’s been a while… I’m starting to worry. - I spoke. - The sun will soon set. Our last train back leaves in an hour. Where is Mafuyu ?

- Do you think she saw the corpse? - Ena said softly. - I think we should check up on her .

- I agree, we should. - I stand up from the stairs and walk up to the door. Ena follows behind me .

We entered. Ena turned on her phone and we headed straight to the room. Just as we were about to enter we saw a light:
- Mafuyu! - I screamed for her in the doorway. She reacted to my call-out and turned around. There was nothing in her eyes other than shock. I can tell she was shaking badly as she almost fell trying to walk to us. Ena caught her in time. Mafuyu looked terrified.

- Mafuyu ? Mafuyu , do you hear me ? - Ena asked her . She barely responded with a nod.

- Here, let’s carry her out. - I picked up Mafuyu and with Ena s helped we carried her out. I really wanted to carry her all the way to the train station, since we can’t miss our train, but Ena got tired so we had to stop.

- Why is carrying people so hard? - She sighed as we put Mafuyu to sit. - And we’re sharing her weight.

- I ’m sorry… - It looked like she regained herself . She still looks traumatized though.

- Hey, it’s more important you ’re okay… Are you though?

Mafuyu looked at me , but the look wasn’t pleasant.

- I just saw a hanging corpse. Do you REALLY think I 'm okay? - Her tone was cold, just like her personality.

- I guess not… - I sighed. - Can you walk on your own? We can’t miss our last train.

- Yeah, yeah. - Mafuyu stood up. - Thanks for carrying me though.

- It’s nothing. But next time don’t just run off! - Ena said.

We hurried back to the train station, barely making it on the train. There wasn’t anything to do, we either had to comment on the corpse, which none of us wanted to do, or look through the music sheets, so we did that. Mafuyu recognized almost all the titles, Ena and I only recognized some. We were excited to try and revive the music.

I knew getting back would be a hassle. My parents thought I was at the library, studying. It’s late now, the sun has set. They’ll either trust me enough or call out my lies. I can’t believe I ’m lying like this. But either way, this isn’t the first time I 'm doing this.

- Ah, Mafuyu , dear. Why are you back so late? - my mother spoke in her sweet tone. - Dinner’s almost cold.

- Sorry, mother! I was at the library studying. I lost track of time. I have an important exam soon and I want to be prepared. - I return the sweet tone of hers.

- That’s my good girl. - She smiled. - Come now, let’s eat and then you can tell me what the exam is about. - She served the food on the table. I sat across from my father.

I wasn’t actually lying about the exam. There is an actual one, but I decided to prepare for it tonight. I told the girls and they completely understood. “We can do the music another night, don't worry!” words of Mizuki . It’s nice to have people who understand you . I ’m glad I don’t have to keep that “good girl” persona of mine around them. That’s honestly so tiring-

- Say, Mafuyu , your exam? For which subject is it? - She broke my train of thought.

- Oh, it’s for science. - I regained my ‘normal’ voice.

- You better do go on it. You know how much you want to be a doctor, right, sweetheart?

Something inside of me dies every time I hear those words.

- … - I won’t let my guard fall. - Yes mother, I know. I ’ll do good.

- I know you will. You never disappoint me. - She smiled as she ate. My father didn’t say a word.

Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there? Why is her corpse still there?

- Mafuyu ? - My mothers sweet voice spoke again, her head tilted to the side.

- Um, yes? - I snap back into reality.

She stayed quiet for a moment. My heart races, did she catch on to what I was actually doing?

- Get a good rest tonight, you look tired. - She smiled again. - You have archery practice tomorrow, correct?

Shit. I forgot about archery.

- Yes, mother. That’s correct, as always. - I smile back.

- Great. - Her smile formed into one of satisfaction.

We finished eating and I went into my room. That’s when my heart calmed down. I dropped any act I was putting on and felt ‘relief’. To be honest, I don’t feel like studying. I ’m feeling more tired than anything, which is weird for me . I ’ve never had a problem with studying, even if I do it in the middle of the night. I sit down on my chair, slowly taking out my notebooks to study. I better prepare well or I don’t know what my mother will do… 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Today, I had a dream. I was in a white room. White walls, white ceiling, white floor. But a silhouette contrasted, it was mine . I was a black silhouette and behind me was a black room. Black walls, black ceiling, black floor. There was a white silhouette contrasting in that room. It had long hair, that was the only thing I could tell apart. We didn’t have faces, so I can’t recognize who it was, but we came closer.

Then I woke up. I had my usual routine. Breakfast, school, studying, archery, studying, dinner. I had to wait until my parents slept and went online. I spoke to Amia and Enanan , or as I now know Mizuki and Ena , we decided to start reviving the music. We started with one of the songs “Tricolage”. It took some time to find but I found the synthesizer my father gifted me in my attic. It used to be my fathers. I used it to record the main melody while Ena and Mizuki worked on the cover art. It took us almost the whole night but we did it. We used our voices with a recording we found of Kanade singing it. I didn’t tell them about how I saw her ghost, but I don’t think I ’ll tell them soon. I want to keep it my little secret. I think Kanade would have wanted that as well… I think I should visit her soon, without Mizuki and Ena .

Today, I had a dream. I was in a white room. White walls, white ceiling, white floor. But a silhouette contrasted, it was mine . I was a black silhouette and behind me was a black room. Black walls, black ceiling, black floor. There was a white silhouette contrasting in that room. It had long hair, that was the only thing I could tell apart. We didn’t have faces, so I can’t recognize who it was, but we came closer than the last time.

Then I woke up. I had my usual routine. Breakfast, school, studying, dinner. I had to wait until my parents slept and went online. I spoke to Mizuki and Ena and we decided to revive the music. We continued with one of the songs “Kanadetomosusora”. That’s a hard one to pronounce. I used my fathers synthesizer to record the main melody while Ena and Mizuki worked on the cover art. It took us almost the whole night but we did it. We used our voices with a recording we found of Kanade singing it. I didn’t tell them about how I saw her ghost, but I don’t think I ’ll tell them soon. I want to keep it my little secret. I think Kanade would have wanted that as well… I think I ’ll visit her soon, without Mizuki and Ena .

Today, I had a dream. I was in a white room. White walls, white ceiling, white floor. But a silhouette contrasted, it was mine . I was a black silhouette and behind me was a black room. Black walls, black ceiling, black floor. There was a white silhouette contrasting in that room. It had long hair, that was the only thing I could tell apart, until now. We got closer than before. I could tell who it is now.

- Kanade ? - my voice shook.

She opened her eyes as blood poured from it. A collar-like mark appeared on her neck. It was blue. A cold, cold blue. I couldn’t do anything but watch. My words stayed in my throat as I tried to speak. She just bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and- 

KANADE ! - I stood up in my bed. The words finally escaped my mouth, but I was awake. Cold sweat was dripping down my forehead and back. It was early, too early, the sun hadn't risen. I didn’t have school. I ’m going to go see Kanade . Nothing’s stopping me .

Today, I had a nightmare.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Coming up with a lie was the easy part. All I had to say was:

- I ’m going to go to the library to study mother! - I said as I put on my shoes. I grabbed stuff like a water bottle and textbooks. After all, I had to make it believable. I kept my bag lightweight and with essentials, but I also took the music sheets. I couldn’t take the synthesizer with me , but at least I transferred the music to my phone.

- Going there so early? - My mother came from the kitchen. - Doesn’t the library open until 9:00? - She questioned. I forgot about when It opened. - And you still haven’t had breakfast. - She put on a sad tone. Unknowingly for her, she gave me something to work with.

- I wanted to go and buy breakfast from a local cafe my classmates recommended. Is that okay? - I put the sweet tone and persona on.

- You should have told me so earlier! I prepared breakfast. - She sighed.

- I ’m sure father could eat it. - I smiled.

- I wouldn’t mind eating breakfast made by you. - He came from the kitchen as well with a cup of coffee.

- Hm, alright. - She looked suspicious.

- I promise I ’ll still eat it after I get back If you’re worried about that… But what did you make? - I stood up.

- Apple pie. You liked apples, didn’t you ? - I don’t know what I like anymore.

- Yes, since I was little. - I don’t remember.

- Great, then will you stay to eat with us? - She asked sweetly.

I can’t say no to her, but my train… I ’ll catch it on time.

- Alright. - I take off my shoes and go to the kitchen.

- Thank you , sweetheart.

I liked my mothers cooking. That’s what I know. I may not know anything about myself, but I like it when she cooks. The apple pie was delicious by the way.

And I was off. I missed my first train but I didn’t pay for it in advance so it was okay. I really wanted to go as fast as I could but I couldn’t run. I was still shaken up by that nightmare, so I couldn’t do stuff like run or think normally. It was hard. But after some zoning out I was on the train. The sun fully rose up. The gentle light hit me right in the face as trees created shadows while we moved fastly. I looked at my phone again as the address stared at me back. Faithfully, Mizuki told us the address before we went together, so I didn’t have to ask and raise suspicion. I wish this train would move faster. I can’t wait to see her … (That was gay?🤨) 

My body stood up as the train hit the breaks. I was at my stop. Slowly got out, my head was dizzy from how much thinking I was doing. One thing that my brain wouldn’t shut up with all my other thoughts was the dream, or more fittingly, the nightmare. The collar-like mark on her neck… It might have been from the rope. I didn’t realize how my hand reached for my neck. My head can’t wrap around how nobody found her dead in that room. Did she not have friends? Someone to check-up on her ? My thoughts are too loud to hear anything around me , making me bump into someone.

- I ’m so sorry miss… - I couldn’t finish my sentence as I looked up. - Mizuki ?!

- Mafuyu ? What are you doing here? - She looked confused as I was.

- Um… - I ’m not getting away with a lie. I sigh in defeat. - I ’m going back to that house. The one we went to the other day. But why are you here?

- I heard there was a good spot for pictures so I decided to go and make a collage. I wanted to invite Ena , but I got embarrassed… - A pink tone appeared on their cheeks and her body language shifted… I see what’s going on. - Anyways… Why are you going back? I mean, we saw… her. - A shiver went down my spine. I don’t want to remember that. - Did you forget something?

- I didn’t. I just… - I trust you , Mizuki . - Let’s sit down, I gotta tell you something.

We walked over a bench and I told her about my dreams and nightmare. I painted her an awful picture, and I could tell she can imagine it the way I saw it.

- Woah… That sounds terrifying. - She didn’t have any words, so we stayed quiet for a moment.

- I just have the feeling I need to go back. I don’t know what I ’ll be doing there, but I need to go. - I wish I could explain it to her but I just couldn't. I didn’t understand what was going on, but I felt a hand on my shoulder.

- Hey, I understand. Do you want to go alone? - They smiled.

- Yeah, I kinda want to be alone. - I nodded.

- Alright. - They stood up. - If you need me , just call. The town here is small anyways. - Their smile was big, just like their heart.

- Thank you, Mizuki . - I stood up and we went our separate ways. 

Well, my plan of not telling anyone didn’t work, but at least my parents don’t know. I ’m glad my mother hasn’t heard of phone tracking.

Now, a cold home stood before me .

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It wasn’t as creepy as I remembered. It actually looks welcoming now. The cold purple color stayed the same as before, looking like an angry cloud ready to thunder down on the people. The stairs creaked, as there were a few storms around here these past couple days. It sounds just like the creaky first steps of our house's staircase. They were like alarms to me whenever my mother came up to my room. They saved my skin many times in the past. I felt coldness on my hand as it was on the doorknob. There were still water droplets which made my hand wet… Ugh… I held it for an unreasonable amount of time. “Fear” had taken over my body. My grip hardens , the door flying open.

- I need to be more careful… - I sigh and walk inside. There was an average looking hole on the roof. I knew the storms were big but didn’t expect to see a hole. There was water dripping from it. I should be on the lookout for any more holes. I don’t want to get wet because I won’t be able to explain that to my mother.

My phone had a low battery percentage because I forgot to charge it, making me choose between it dying while I 'm navigating in the house with the flashlight or keeping it until I , hopefully, see Kanade . I ’ll probably keep it until I see her , the windows should help me with lighting the place up.

I went straight to her room, wanting to see if I could take the synthesizer outside. Nothing had moved ever since we were there. Good, it means that no one’s come here over the past few days. I take a closer look and see the dust on the keys has little fingerprints - my fingerprints. A cold hand lays on my shoulder.

- Boo. - A giggle follows it. My skin crawls before turning around to see Kanade floating.

- Hey. - My voice is low. A feeling creeps up in me, but I don’t know what it is.

- Hi. - She smiles. Her voice is sweet like honey. - What are you doing here? I didn’t expect you to come back so soon.

- Well… - I started to tell her about how I saw her corpse and the dreams that followed up with that event. When I finished, she had a surprised look on her face. She was trying to figure out something, I could tell by her facial expression.

- I thought people found me..? - Her voice was as shaky as her eyes.

- Apparently, no. No one came to look for you .

- I ’m… so sorry you had to see that. - Sh e tried to hold my hands, but gave up on that thought. - Ahem .

I slowly trace my hand over the piano. My guts felt strange but I asked her if she wanted to hear her songs again. Without hesitation she agreed, nodding her head in enthusiasm. She floated beside me as I sat and played. It was so nice to perform songs with such emotions. I felt understood by her songs, something I haven’t experienced with any other song. I couldn’t dare myself to sing as I was too “nervous”, I think, but I didn’t have to worry about that. Kanade sang instead of me with her beautiful voice. It was sweet, just like honey. Her voice was so mesmerizing I wished It could be engraved into my head. After I played most of her songs she spoke:

- Thank you, Mafuyu . I didn’t think I would hear my songs again, especially because I can’t really touch a lot of things. - Her smile was as soft as her gaze and voice. - Thank you for giving me this opportunity again.

- There’s no reason to thank me . I enjoy playing your songs… And hearing your singing. - My face felt warm while my eyes looked away. Was I getting sick? - How’s the flower by the way? - I tried to change the conversation topic.

- Oh, it’s still alive. If you didn’t water it was probably going to die before the storms came. For which I should thank you again.

- I don’t mind doing that stuff for you, K . - I turned back to her and looked her right in the eyes. She was caught by surprise. - I can probably do anything you ask me . You just have to… ask. - I stood up. I felt weak and shaky. I was… expressing “emotions”. I haven’t done that without my persona, ever, because I don’t know what I ’m supposed to feel in most cases. But something deep inside me knew I “cared”. A word my mother always says. Caring for someone means to feel concern or interest and what I ’m “feeling” fits that description perfectly.

- I … don’t know what to say. - She chuckled as her cheeks became more pigmented. - That’s very sweet of you , Mafuyu . But I shouldn’t be bothering you with this stuff. After all, I ’m just a ghost, nothing more.

- So what?

- “So what”? What do you mean “so what”? - She floated on eye-level with me. - Mafuyu It’s a surprise you can see me in the first place, I shouldn’t be asking you for anything else. That’s selfish.

- You ’re wrong.

- What? - We both stayed silent.

- Do you like aquariums? - I looked her dead in the eyes.

- Aquariums?

- Yes.

- … Yeah, I always wanted to visit one of those big ones with different fish. What about you ?

- I love aquariums. Whenever I look inside one I feel like I go transparent. - She chuckled.

- Don’t the fish interfere with that?

- I don’t own fish. Just a tank with water and plants.

- That explains it.

It was awkward silence again. Though It was more comforting than awkward. I decided to ask if she wanted to go outside in the garden again. K agreed, even showed a short-cut to get to the backyard. She showed me around more, explaining flowers and meanings behind them. She wasn’t as mad as Mizuki 's story told me . Kanade was gentle in every way. We spend a good amount of time in the garden talking, telling stories. I told her about Ena and Mizuki and how we meet online, how we kept our real identities secret, me being called “ Yuki ”, Ena “ Enanan ” and Mizuki “ Amia ”. I also showed her the recordings we did. K loved them, complimenting each one of our voices and art work. She looked so happy to see someone enjoy her music, it brought me a small smile. I wish I knew her when she was still alive. Maybe in another universe I do. I’d like to hold on to that thought.

Eventually, I had to leave, but I promised her I would try and visit her more often. I knew Ena and Mizuki wouldn’t be able to see her, so I was gonna come alone. I wish we were able to touch each other. Maybe in another universe we do. I’d like to hold on to that thought. But now, I had to go back to my house. It was almost sundown when I stepped through the door. Of course, I was greeted by my mother.

- Welcome home, darling. - She smiled. - How was studying?

- It was well! - I smiled back. - I studied for my social studies. The teacher wants to do a project soon so I wanted to be prepared.

- Why don’t you come for dinner, yes? - She made way for the kitchen. I took off my shoes and went inside. My father was already at the dinner table and greeted me . I greeted him back and we ate. Afterwards, I went upstairs to my room to contact Mizuki or Ena , if they were even online, especially Mizuki . They ’re the type of person to snoop around or gossip, so my guess is that they ’d like to know about what happened while I was back at Kanade s. I had to wait a few hours so my parents would fall asleep, though they were already on a call together already.

I quickly join the call, knowing my parents are fast asleep. I got greeted by both of them and they share some news:

- Hey Yuki !~ - Amia said with enthusiasm. I can tell they were smiling behind the screen. - We have some news about the songs we covered. Enanan , if you can do the honors.

- Of course! Ahem . We uploaded the covers onto Youtube! And they’ve got quite the recognition. - She said proudly. - Do you want to see? - Enanan then sent some links in the chat and I opened them. Seeing how many views they had, I couldn't help but be surprised.

- When did you guys upload them?

- This morning. - Enanan replied.

- And they got that many views? Under 24 hours? That’s surprising.

- Yeah. I guess the people really like us☆ - Amia sounded quite relieved.

There were very few negative comments, but that didn’t really bother us. It felt really nice to do stuff like that, so we continued. We covered a bunch of different songs, mostly by producers who use VOCALOIDs, our audience kept growing and growing, we attracted new people and every new song gets more views than the previous one. Ena ran any social media accounts we had while Mizuki managed the visuals. I recorded everything we uploaded, but they always went through another person before we did anything - Kanade . She was always the first one to hear any cover we did before putting out anything. K never said anything bad against our voices or visuals, you can always hear something good from her , she loved our work. We also grew closer over time. K never said anything bad against our voices or visuals, you can always hear something good from her , she loved our work. We also grew closer over time. I helped her with stuff she can’t do and she helps me with music. It’s a win - win situation. Though I ’ve noticed a change in her body language. She doesn’t float as high as before, more on my level, stays close beside me and is just closer to me than before. I don’t understand what’s causing that, but I currently don’t mind and am not complaining. I enjoy her company and listening to her voice sing along with ours… It makes me want her to be a part of the song, but I know that’s not possible. I ’ve tried to record her voice multiple times, but to no avail. She ’s a ghost after all. I don’t know what I was thinking of that being a possibility. It was just disappointing at the end. I know there are devices that can allow you to speak to ghosts but the audio quality is very bad, not suitable for a song, plus it’s very expensive. I can’t just buy it. My parents would question why I need it. I can already guess what my mother will say: “ You don’t need that! You need to focus on your studies.” 

I sigh as I lay back in my chair. I just finished talking with Amia and Enanan but I was dissociating most of the time. Didn’t even understand what we were talking about. All I remember is “Hey Yuki !” and “See ya tomorrow Yuki !”. I can’t seem to focus on anything, even school work which is very bad because my finals are coming up. My mind feels like fog all the time. It all feels tiring. My usual routine is to study after calls with the girls, but I’m more tired than usual. I shouldn’t skip studying though… Maybe tonight can be a compromise.

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Time skip: Final exams results

- Asahina Mafuyu? - The teacher called on me. - Your test.

- Yes, thank you. - I walked up and took my test. Oh no. It’s a lower grade. That’s very bad. How did that happen? I thought I studied enough. No no no no I can’t imagine what my mother would do.

- Asahina? Are you okay? You really underperformed on this test. - The teacher broke my thoughts.

- Y-yeah I’m okay, everything is okay. - I go back to my seat. My only thought now is:

She can’t find out. Because things have been bad recently, this might overflow the cup…

Working on the covers was so fun, until my mother found out. She went through my laptop and found Nightcord with the chats and everything we worked on. She took away my equipment and later on my laptop. I almost lost all contact with Ena and Mizuki , if I didn’t have my phone. This made an extreme issue, I couldn’t do anything for recording so we lost a lot of progress we were managing to keep up. But Ena and Mizuki never gave up trying to help me . They were always telling me ideas on how I could get my equipment back, but I was far too deep in lies to do anything. What was even worse? I basically lost my freedom. It’s always home - school - home. I couldn’t go anywhere, which meant I couldn’t visit Kanade . I haven’t seen her in weeks. I miss her voice a lot. Her humming when we would stay in the garden, listening to sounds and singing songs. It would take my breath away and make me feel warmth I haven’t ever felt before. I ’ve been missing everything, making me feel sentimental.

The walk home felt longer than usual, though I managed to talk with Mizuki as we came across each other. They offered me some great advice: If it becomes too much, there’s always the option to run away. Those words really stuck with me after we departed. My feet were dragging on the floor, wanting to go the opposite way of my house, maybe to go back to Mizuki . I dreaded seeing the front door, though eventually I faced it. My hand was hovering over the doorknob. I slowly turned it, opening the door. I could hear my mother in the kitchen, making dinner while listening to classical music. Is this her way of teasing me ? I tried ignoring it, taking off my shoes and going up to her.

- Hello mother. I ’m home. - I say from the kitchen's doorway.

- Ah, Mafuyu dear, welcome home! - She turned around. - How was school? - She questioned.

- School was okay, as usual. We had a student council meeting, that’s why I ’m late. - My mother nodded. 

- I knew so. After all, you don't have any other activities to go to today. We moved archery to the weekend for that. - She smiled. - What about your test though? You were supposed to get your results back today, correct? - A cold sweat ran down my back.

- Uh, strangely we didn’t get them today. The teacher said they needed more time to grade them. - I tried to not stutter on my words.

- That’s not what they told me. - I froze. What did she mean by that…? My stomach sank. She spoke to my teachers, didn’t she?

- What…?

- I spoke to your teachers. Your grade has dropped. - She leaned on the kitchen counter. - That’s very disappointing, especially coming from you . - She crossed her arms. - I expected better from you , after all I’ve done. - I trembled. When did she even speak with my teacher?! I was at school all day, how didn’t I see her? She probably went over during my school council meeting. - Are you going to say something?

- …

- Give me your phone. - She reached her hand over.

- What? - I stepped back.

- I said, give me your phone. I ’m taking it away until you fix your studies. - Her tone changed drastically. From a sweet mother to a cold prosecutor. - I know those girls are distracting you with that “music” you’re making or something like that. They’re taking away your dream of becoming a doctor! - My heart was beating faster and faster. If I give up my phone I lose all my connection with Ena and Mizuki . I can’t let her do that. I … I have to tell her the truth.

- They’re not taking away my dream. - I finally spoke. - I always wanted to help people, but music is what I love doing! Yes I still want to help people, but I also want to continue doing music. - I ’ve been trying to hold my tears up to this point, but they started flowing down my cheeks. - B-but it hurts so much when I ’m not able to do that. My studies are important, but music never got in the way. I ’ve been tired because of all the pressure you’ve put on me . - My tears make me stutter and choke on some words. - I … I can’t take it anymore! - I started sobbing. I couldn’t control my emotions the only time they came up. My mother stared blankly at me .

- No, that’s not right. - She denied everything I said. - You wanted to become a doctor, you told me that, NOT making music! - She became angrier.

- I wanted to be a nurse! You don’t even remember right. - But she denied again. Her hands tried to reach into my pocket to grab my phone. I tried stopping her by gripping on it while she tried to take it away.

- Mafuyu , let go! - She yelled before it slipped out of my hands. - There! Now you won’t get distracted. - She took a few breaths in. - I ’m sorry for yelling dear. How about we have dinner and then go study? You need to fix your grade after all. - She smiled.

I was frozen in place. Why did she disregard everything just like that? Ena … Mizuki … I ’m sorry… I ’m sorry I couldn’t do it…

“If it becomes too much, there’s always the option to run away.”

Mizuki ’s words popped up in my head. “ “Run away”? Is that the right thing to do? But I can’t take anything anymore. I ’m tired from everything. I don’t know where I ’m going with life right now. It feels like a dead end. Where would I even go?” I thought before someone popped up in my head. Kanade . I can go to her …

- Mafuyu ? - My mother asked.

I ’m sorry, mother, but I won’t come out alive if I continue to be here.

My mind wasn’t thinking, but my feet were. I ran at full speed out the door, grabbing my shoes along the way. I had a clear plan of where to run: the train station. The last thing I heard was my mother yelling my name out. I didn’t look back a single time. I ran on and on without stopping. When I got to the train station I stopped running. I couldn’t really do anything other than wait for the train to arrive. So I put my shoes on, after running for a couple of kilometers. My feet were very tired and my socks were dirty. Not a pleasant view, but I was putting on my shoes anyway so It didn’t matter. The wait for the train was strange. I was suspecting that my mother might’ve followed me , somehow. But she didn’t, because my train arrived and she was nowhere to be seen. The ride was pleasant, the starry sky was always a nice view to look at. Eventually, I got to my stop. My body felt weird though, but I disregarded that feeling as I began to race to Kanades home. People didn’t seem to notice how a high-school girl was outside so late, but it was better that way.

With a heavy breath I approached Kanades home. My heart skipped a beat as I went into the garden, because, of course, Kanade was there. She was star-gazing, surrounded by carnations. It was a very beautiful sight, almost breathtaking. I stood there, admiring her for a good few minutes before she noticed. K’s eyes widened when she saw me .

- Mafuyu ! What are you doing here? - She sat up. - It’s very late, you shouldn’t be here. - I slowly made my way over to her , sitting in front of her .

- I know, but I wanted to be with you . I keep feeling warm around you , but I don’t know if that’s good or not. But It doesn’t matter anymore. - It felt like my breaths were thinner and thinner with each moment I looked at her face while mine heated up.

- You feel… Warm around me? - She blushed and smiled. - That’s very kind of you to say, Mafuyu. I could say the same thing about you. I also feel warmer around you, even if I’m a ghost. - She tucked her hair behind her ear. I liked the way she said my name. I took her hand, feeling coldness. I could tell she also felt it. - How can you touch me…? - Kanade looked at me horrified. She gasped softly. - No, don’t tell me-

- I got hit by a car. It’s a stupid way to go, but I’m happy I was still able to make my way over here. If I had to stay in that city, like you have to stay around your home, I would’ve died a second time. I would forever regret not seeing you one last time. - I managed to smile. Not a fake one that I put on with my persona. A real smile. She made me happy and warm.

- How did that happen? - Her eyes filled with tears.

- I ran from my house. My mother basically stopped my contact with Mizuki and Ena and also with you . She wanted me to become something I didn’t aiming to become.

- So that’s why you didn’t visit… - I look over beside us.

- I ’m surprised that the carnation is still alive. Though there isn’t anyone left to water it. I ’m sorry.

- Don’t be sorry for such things. I ’m just… Glad you ’re here with me . - She held my hand tighter. - Even if that sounds bad, because you died. - I chuckle.

- It sounds just about right, don’t worry. - I wipe her tears away with my thumb as I put my hand on her cheek. - I ’m glad I can finally touch you . - I muttered. She put her hand over mine .

- … Me too. - I could feel she felt calmer and more relaxed by her body language. We stayed like that for a good few minutes while Kanade hummed one of her songs. It felt warm to hear it again after a long time. Though I wanted to do something, just in case anything happened.

- Kanade .

- Yes, Mafuyu ?

- Can I … Kiss you ? - I said while my face became warmer. I can’t be getting sick, because I ’m dead, right?

Her face lit up as her face became red, just like mine .

- Of course. I wouldn’t mind at all. - She chuckled embarrassingly. We both knew we haven’t done stuff like that, but we didn’t mind trying them out.

I slowly pulled her in, softly kissing her gentle lips. It felt like fireworks exploded as my adrenaline calmed down. Who knew kissing someone gave you such a nice feeling? We both pulled away. I looked into Kanade's eyes and it was like the whole galaxy was in there. They sparkled just like stars. We both smiled and hugged each other, sharing a warm embrace between our cold bodies.

The next morning, beside the white carnation bloomed a new flower, a purple carnation.

⋆ ˚𖤣⋆୨ ♡ ୧⋆𖤣˚ ⋆