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Nichelle didn't know what to think about the campfire ceremony. Yeah, she'd gotten her marshmallow and was deemed safe, but she still felt...bad, in a way.
When she was an actress, she got used to acting. She could put on a performance and display emotions the character needed to have. But that was before Hollywood cancelled her, and now she had to realize she couldn't necessarily change emotions on a whim to match a character. Whatever she was feeling were her feelings.
She thinks it has to do with Ripper's love poem. That's gotta be it.
There had just been something about Axel that had enraptured the former actress's attention. When she had rewatched the show in the time between seasons, she found herself staring a bit when it came to Axel. She thinks it's because she appreciates the survivalist's strength. Something about her fierceness, Nichelle assumes, and admires even if she'd never outright admit it.
Not like Axel would reciprocate, apparently. The thought hurts Nichelle more than she'd like.
To be fair, she's not mad at Ripper. If anything, she considers him lucky to have apparently won Axel's heart. She just wasn't expecting to have as many feelings about his confession and the kiss as she was currently experiencing. She was back in the cabin now, laying awake as Priya and Axel slept peacefully. Or at least, as peacefully as one can on Total Drama.
And all Nichelle can do is think. Laying alone with her thoughts. Seriously, why was Axel kissing a guy having such an impact on her? The survivalist was her own person, but Ripper was not who she would've expected Axel to be in love with.
If Nichelle was in Ripper's place, reading a love poem to Axel after the campfire ceremony, would she have been kissed? Or was Axel straight and she would've just rejected Nichelle? Why was she thinking about this so much? Why was it on her mind, replaying in her mind on loop?
She just wants to stop thinking about it. She needs to stop before it hurts her chances at the million. Reluctantly, she sneaks a peek over at the sleeping survivalist. The survivalist seems...slightly calm now, maybe a bit peaceful if Nichelle wants to push it.
Good for her. The former actress looks away, trying to forget about the campfire kiss, even if it plays in repeat in her head. Trying to place her feelings, even though they hurt. Trying her hardest to not go over to Axel and say something, which would likely end poorly.
You know what, Nichelle decides, it's good for Axel and Ripper. Right. That's what she decides is the best approach, because they're very clearly...well, something. Nichelle doesn't want to think any further on the manner, or else she may get distracted and lose her hot streak of performing well in challenges. With that, she closes her eyes and tries to sleep.
But why does her heart feel like it's breaking into pieces...?