Chapter Text
Bonnie was nothing if not driven. She spent most of high school busting her ass to get the highest grades possible. She scored perfectly on all of her exams, was a member of every honor society that her school had offered, and had racked up regional titles as the first chair flutist in the orchestra as well as being the captain for her school’s science olympiad team.
She walked up to the stage, her graduation gown steamed to perfection and wrinkle-free, her long ginger hair straightened down her back, not one hair out of place. Her makeup was neither too natural nor too dramatic. Even her heels had been meticulously picked out they were sensible, nothing too high, in a neutral color, with a thick block rather than a stiletto both for comfort and because of her fear that had she gone with the flashier shoe the heel could break while she was walking up to give her graduation speech.
As the valedictorian, Bonnie had to give a speech to the graduating class. And although she would deny it entirely had anyone asked, she secretly relished the fact that this was her chance to rub it in the face of her soon-to-be former classmates. She told her that her speech lasted a precise 3 minutes, the maximum speech time. An entire three minutes that could roughly be summarized by her last two lines:
“I worked incredibly hard to get to the top. I hope going forward you’ll be inspired to do the same.”
She sat back down in her chair smugly smiling to herself, not turning to address her shoulders weighed down by the graduation cords and medals on her neck. One for each honor society her school had to offer and one for each competition that she had won. The chords jostled as she anxiously tapped her foot on the floor waiting for the principal to call her row.
A superintendent came by and escorted them to the stage in single file. Her heart hammered against her ribs, this was it. Everything that she had worked towards for years finally came to a head.
The beginning of the rest of her life.
“Bonnibel Prince.” A former teacher called her name out on the mic followed by mild applause.
She gracefully walked across the stage, as if she was floating on air. She reached out, grabbed her diploma, and shook the principal’s hand waiting to feel the satisfaction and rush of her achievements.
Nothing.
She faltered but made her way back to her seat and plastered on a fake smile for the rest of the ceremony while staring down at her diploma.
A piece of paper, she had sacrificed years of her life, close relationships, sleep, and her physical and mental well-being for mild applause and a sheet. of. Paper.
She hadn’t even realized that the ceremony was over until she was jolted from her thoughts by a booming voice.
“Will the graduating class please move their tassels over?” The principal shouted into the mic.
Bonnie numbly moved her tassel over while the rest of the auditorium erupted in cheers and applause. She sat still in her chair while the rest of her peers tossed their hats up into the air.
The ceremony ended and all of the students filtered out to the school’s entrance to reunite with family members. She politely, yet stiffly, smiled for her aunt’s photos and murmured thank you’s to former teachers who congratulated her.
She looked around the front of the school, there were groups of friends crying and congratulating each other. Her peers sobbed into eachothers wrinkled graduation gowns vowing to not lose touch and to reach out to one another. She felt a pit form in her stomach when she saw her teammates from the science olympiad walk past.
“Kenneth, Chet, Ann!” Bonnie waved them over.
The trio looked at each other hesitantly before walking over.
“Oh hey…Bonnie.” Kenneth said. Chet and Ann silently nodded at her.
Now having them in front of her Bonnie realized she had no clue what to say. She quickly glanced over at the other groups of students all talking together with ease,
“So what did you guys think about my speech?” she said slowly.
“It was…about what I expected,” Kenneth said.
“What do you mean?” Bonnie said.
“Look Bonnibel.” Ann cut in, “I’m only going to say this to you because I think you need to hear it and because I hopefully won’t have to see you ever again at least until our 20-year reunion but I think you were probably the worst captain that I’ve ever had the displeasure of having.”
“Don’t act so innocent, I know what you think of us,” Ann said. “Just because we’re not as smart as you doesn’t mean that you’re better than us. I hoped you’d be able to let some of your ego go just for today but it looks like you’re not going to change one bit. Just another girl who peaked in high school.”
“But- but I helped us win, we were the best team in the state?”Bonnie stuttered.
“Because you cut anyone who couldn’t keep up,” Ann replied, exasperated. “You didn’t care about the mental well-being of anyone on the team, all you wanted was recognition. To be the captain of the winning team. You cut Jackie after she missed practice for her Grandma’s funeral, for fucks sake!”
Bonnie couldn’t reply to that.
“So now that it’s over, how does it feel?” Ann said. “I hope it was worth it.”
She stormed off leaving Bonnie in stunned silence.
“Come on Chet,” Kenneth said.
“Happy graduation Bonnie,” Chet said, not bothering to even look at her.
She was driven home in silence, she hadn’t been invited to any graduation parties and didn’t think to throw one herself. One had to have friends to invite to throw parties. So after a quiet dinner, she politely excused herself and climbed the steps up to her bathroom.
Bonnie quickly showered and got into her pajamas, seeing no reason to stay dressed up if she wasn’t going to go out. She walked into her bedroom and the moment she made eye contact with her bed she plopped onto it face first not bothering to turn on the light.
“Ughhhhh…” she groaned.
Bonnie peeled her face from the mattress and saw the blurry outline of her flute and music stand in the dark corner of the room. She planned to stop playing once she’d graduated. The sole reason for playing and taking it up had been to have another interesting bit to add to her long list of extracurriculars.
Bonnie wasn’t a bad flutist by any means, she had a plethora of medals and state rankings to prove that. But she didn’t enjoy it. She had thought of learning the trumpet- which she enjoyed thoroughly- but somebody else in the orchestra had been far better than her so she stuck to the flute. It was better to be good at something and unhappy for four years rather than potentially enjoy herself and not receive any recognition.
And yet there was this feeling gnawed at her in the pit of her stomach.
Was it worth it?
She pushed the feeling down and rolled over in bed. She pulled away a long strand of ginger hair that had fallen over her face only to see her trophy case looming over her. She had to start stacking some on top of the case because it had been so filled to the brim. But she couldn’t remember how she felt about winning any of them.
A state championship here, a competition there, a certificate tucked in the back and she couldn’t muster up any feelings about anything that she had won. No sense of pride or achievement- none of them would matter now that she was going to university.
University.
She’d always seen college as a way out, but what if it was more of the same? Studying until her eyes hurt, struggling to keep a high grade, having no friends in favor of working… a terrible thought washed over her.
“What if this is it?” she whispered to herself.
She sat in silence wishing that she could believe in the supernatural like ghosts, deities, or vampires- anything to give her an answer.
Naturally, there was no response.
There was one thing that she knew for sure.
She felt so deeply and incredibly tired.