Chapter Text
// as dazai //
"I bet you five bucks I could get Akutagawa to bark like a dog." I wagered, and I could feel Chuuya's annoyed look on me. I can't see why he wouldn't take the offer. The odds are 50/50. I guess he never was one for mental maths.
"I'm not making such a ridiculous deal with you, Dazai." If anything, he seemed more bothered by the fact that I even suggested it rather than that he just lost the chance at gaining five bucks. He is a bit of an oddball, isn't he?
I narrowed my eyes at Akutagawa, who sat stiff in a chair nearby. I decided to call out to him, wondering whether the deal would have worked in my favour. "Akutagawa. Bark like the dog you are."
"..." He was silent, and gave me a strange look. I'll take that as a 'no' then. What a shame. I would have lost. I'm almost glad he backed out. That would have been an unfortunate waste of money.
"I take it back! I wanna make the deal!" Chuuya chimed in, upon seeing the boy's initial reaction. Like I'd make the deal now. Although, it would be amusing if he barked out of spite. I know I would. Maybe I should take the gamble.
"Sure, let's try and ask him again." Chuuya grinned, and I gave him a small smirk, which seemed to deplete that confidence of his rather quickly. "Akutagawa, I won't repeat myself again. Bark like the dog you are."
And he did just as he was told. He was a lot like Chuuya in that respect. My little dog that follows every order I give it. It's cute. I turned to Chuuya and grinned. All I got was a scowl in response. Well, that's not nice. He was the one who insisted we made the deal, that's on him. He should have known the odds would be more in my favour the second time I asked. He would have been more scared of my reaction than losing a few reputation points. Sure, Chuuya here is an angry person but his anger is always directed at me. Akutagawa knew he was safe if Chuuya had lost. I'm not like that, though. He's learning.
"I despise you. Both of you." Chuuya went to kick me in the face, but I moved out of the way, pulling his wallet out of his pocket and scanning through it.
"I wonder how much I should take." I pondered aloud, which provoked more anger. How does he get anything done with such unbridled rage? Doesn't it get tiring? I took out a twenty and returned his wallet back to him. "Here. You're broke, anyway, so there wasn't much to take. I was hoping to get a bit more."
"It was only supposed to be five bucks, why did you take twenty?" He went for the attack again, and I yawned as I blocked it. He's starting to bore me. I wonder if Akutagawa has learned any new tricks. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, and I guess they were right. Chuuya has a singular default response to things, and it's dull putting up with it on the daily.
"Akutagawa~" I sang, walking towards him. Somehow, his posture got worse. I can't imagine why. I can fix that. He broke out into a fit of coughs and I sighed. I get that it's not his fault he's unhealthy, but you'd think he'd have learnt to die quietly by now. It's a skill he needs to work on. I'm disappointed in him
"Now look what you've done. You've struck the fear of God into the kid and killed him. Shame, really, if this is how he's gonna go. I enjoyed his company." Chuuya commented, his eyes surveying the sick boy. In all honesty, he should be dead already with the way he lived. He barely survived. Poor thing. It's a shame he had to be taken in by the Port Mafia. His sense of justice would be unrivalled. We would have a hard time beating him.
I glanced at Chuuya, who had a sour look on his face. I knew what would cheer him up! Or at the very least, change that hideous expression of his. "Don't you enjoy my company even more, though, Chuuya~"
"In your dreams, asshole." I went to hug him and he pushed me away. I guess he was never one for affection. His response was always cruel, though. "Akutagawa, are you alright now?"
He silently nodded before looking at me, his eyes burning into the side of my skull. I know he was wary of us, and with good reason to be, but he needed to start using his big boy words. It's tiring trying to figure out what he wants to say. Although, he is relatively easy to read for someone who acts so mysterious. He's like a cat, weirdly enough.
"What have I said about using your big boy words, Akutagawa? You aren't a child anymore. Grow up or go home." I warned him, and I saw him visibly shudder. Doing this gives me such a thrill. Isn't it just exciting watching them squirm?
Chuuya punched me in the face, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the anger in his eyes, bubbling and threatening to spill even more. He was never one to control his anger unless he was afraid his ability would get out of control. Why did he feel the need to protect him? He owed Akutagawa nothing. Talking about Akutagawa, I had been so focused on him that I almost forgot Chuuya was here. Isn't that crazy?
"Leave the kid alone, Dazai. You know how I feel about you toying with him like this." We met each other's gaze, and there was a burning hatred in our eyes. Who does he think he is punching an executive?
I heard the door to the room open and someone clapped to grab our attention. "Now, now you too, not in front of a child. Get a room, would you?"
I glared at Mori as he walked over to Akutagawa and gave him a jacket, explaining the rules to him. He's officially part of the Mafia now. Great. Now I'm the one who has to train the little runt. I hope he isn't any worse than the walking red flag next to me. Chuuya seemed to sense me cussing him out and went to attack me. I dodged, and we both went at each other for a moment.
"Are they always like this?" I heard Akutagawa ask, and we both looked at him, surprised that his first words of the day were them. I never really questioned our behaviour. Is it actually that strange to an outsider? God, I hope not.
"Yes, they are. It's a very love-hate relationship between the two of them. How they haven't killed each other yet, I do not know." Mori commented, unamused, his eyes glancing between the two of us. We both stopped trying to get at each other and turned to face the two properly.
"Truth is, boss, even we have some respect for each other, as hard as that is to believe."