Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hey Cathy! Got a Gmail for ya!” Horace yelled through the base, resulting in the sole woman in the base came to the laptop.

“Who’s it from?”

“Your daddy.”

“Har-dee-har. You know my father passed away last month. Now who is it reall-All Might?!” Quickly, Cathleen’s annoyance turned to excitement. “Horace, you literally donkey-arse! All Might wants to talk to me!” She yelled, shaking her fellow soldier.

“Stop…shaking..me..you…wacko..”

“Yes, I must remain calm. All Might must not think I’m still like a high school girl.” Cathleen calmed herself down. “I’m sure it’s nothing special. *Ahem* Dear Cathleen, In a couple days, the annual I-expo will be held. I would like to invite you to the expo for a surprise. Sincerely yours, All Might.” Cathleen read out loud before staring in front of herself. “All Might..I-expo, meaning David Shield…*gasp* My heroes want to meet me for a surprise!”

“Dammit Cathy, you're 30, not 15!” Dave, one of her commanding officers, yelled.

Even on another continent, All Might was very, very famous.

Which meant that Mighty O’s were sold in America as well. And this month, the prize inside was a meet and greet with All Might on a moving island.

“I won!” A four year old girl with horns, hooves and a puffy tail cheered at the dinner table.

“That’s great, Applepie. Now eat your breakfast. Kindie will open in ten minutes.” Miss Tsunotori ordered her little girl while her husband checked the date on the card. “Mmm, we can make it. Guess we’re having a family outing this weekend.” The man said as his daughter quickly scarfed her cereal down.

“Daddy! Daddy! Wake up! Wake up!” Five year old Melissa Shield yelled in her little Star&Stripes themed pajamas. “Uncle Toshi is coming in three hours and twenty-nine minutes!”

“I know, Melissa..but give daddy ten more minutes.” A sleepy David mumbled, pushing his face back into his pillow.

“But daddy, uncle Toshi is going to be here soon and the surprise has to remain a surprise.” Melissa whined, thrashing onto her sleeping dad’s back until he put her outside his bedroom. “….Imma work on the surprise then, daddy!” The girl yelled before running towards the lab.

“ Cathy, you’ve grown so much, my girl. ” All Might laughed as soon as he saw his student exit the plane (this time, she was forced to sit in the aircraft). “ How was the trip? ”

“It was fine, sir. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“ I wouldn’t have expected anything different…And who is your little friend? ” As soon as Toshinori asked this, Cathleen noticed a little horned girl standing behind them, shaking with excitement.

“All Might…and Star&Stripes…woah.” Pony whisper shouted, looking like she was about to faint.

“Oh, hey kiddo.” Cathleen greeted while bending down. “Where are your parents? We wouldn’t want you to get lost right.”

Upon being asked this, Pony frantically looked around before looking at her shoed hooves. “Dunno. Wanted an autograph and ran ahead.”

“ I see, you should stay with your parents, young lady. This is a busy place. ”

“He’s right…But I have an idea.” Star began, causing a sad Pony to look up. “If you sit on my neck, you can see over the crowd. That way, we’ll find your parents in no time.”

“….I get to be on Star&Stripes’ neck.” Pony gasped with widened eyes, causing Cathteen to laugh before picking her up.

“There you go. Do you see them yet?”

“No…Oh, There!” The horned girl yelled as a man with hooves and a woman with smaller horns came their way.

“Pony, for Pete’s sake, stop running off.” The parents said in unison.

“Sowwy, but I found All Might. And look, even Star&Stripes is here.” The girl said, trying to play off that she ran off. But once she saw her parents unimpressed looks, she changed the subject by pulling out her ticket. “Look, I won this.”

“ Oh boy, I kind of forgot about that deal. I mean, Congrats young girl! ” All Might said enthusiastically as Pony was none the wiser. But then,

“Uncle Might!” Before Toshinori could even do something like give an autograph, another blonde child rammed her face into his leg.

“ Oh, hello Melissa. You seem happy today. ”

“Uhuh, me and daddy have a surprise for you…Who are they?”

“ I’m sure you remember David talking about Star&Stripes. That’s the big woman. And the others are young Pony and her family. ”

“Young…*gasp* There’s never someone my age on the island.” Little Melissa gasped before turning to Pony. “Wanna see my favorite spots on the island?” She asked as Pony immediately nodded.

And so, the two girls were gone before anyone could properly react.

“At least they’re getting along, am I right.” Cathleen laughed after a while before the adults went after the girls.

This was probably the most fun workout Cathleen ever had. As she spent the whole day running after Melissa and Pony, who went from point to point, sometimes playing a game, all the while being too busy having fun to notice the adults desperately trying to catch up.

This all led to the presentations in the evening.

The problem was that David Shield wasn’t showing up. And this got only worse when,

“ Why good evening, All Might. Did you really think you could escape me? ” A white haired, smirking, flying man asked condescendingly before blindly firing off Airblasts, just to up the potential casualties. “ Oh, and the lovely Star&Stripes is here too. ” The villain added before using a speed quirk to charge at Cathleen, ready to take the biggest threat out.

“ Star, watch out! He steals quirks! ” All Might immediately warned, hoping Cathleen could defend herself since he was too far away to get near them. ‘Luckily’, Cathleen thought fast.

Just as All For One touched her head, Cathleen activated her quirk one last time. 

“ New order will not be compatible with the other quirks. ”

And with those last words, All for One’s body felt like it exploded from the inside. His collection of quirk, collected over the decades, was getting destroyed in a matter of seconds.

He has to get rid of it. So as he looked around, he saw Melissa looking terrified among the panicking crowd, shielding Pony from the scary villain. Once again using his Speed quirk before it got destroyed as well, he forced New Order into Melissa.

“ Stay quiet, child. ” All For One threatened as he built up a energy blast quirk in one hand. But before he could eradicate Melissa, someone pushed his hand upwards.

It was Pony, who shot off one of her horns.

“Leave big sis Meli alone!” Pony yelled defiantly yet clearly scared out of her mind.

“ Star, take Melissa and Pony to David! I’ll hold this monster off while you do! ” All Might ordered, punching All For One in the face to get him away from the girls. This gave Cathleen the change to grab the two kids and run to David’s lab.

Only for things to be worse there.

Fortunately, in the loose sense, Cathleen managed to pull Melissa away from her father’s corpse, which had metal poles stabbed through his chest. Meanwhile, a suitcase lay broken open on the floor.

So the next best thing Cathleen could think of was finding a closet. “Okay, I know things are bad. But I need you two to stay in here and not come out until I return. Can you two do that?”

“B-but momma and papa.” Pony whimpered while Melissa was already crying about David.

“I’ll look for your parents, Pony. But now, I need you and Melissa to protect each other.”

“But you don’t have your quirk anymore. How will you protect yourself?” The two girls asked in unison with tears in their big eyes, breaking Cathleen’s heart some more.

“I’ll think of something. Now please, stay here and protect each other until I return.”

“…*sniff* Yes Miss.” Melissa said determinedly before pulling Pony with her into the closet. This allowed Cathleen to run towards All Might. But by the time she reached him, the fight was done.

All Might punched All For One’s upper face off while the villain shot a gaping hole in the hero’s chest.

“All Might!” Cathy immediately yelled, running towards her hero. “Hold on, sir. I’ll get the paramedics.”

“ No *couch* Please take this. ” All Might groaned before plucking a hair off his head. “ Eat..this… ”

“…What?”

“ My quirk *cough* needs a successor…I trust you to..use it for good *cough* and one day…find a successor yourself…*cough* This was the surprise..I wanted to give you. ”

If Cathleen was honest, she almost declined the offer. Getting All Might’s quirk, even if it didn’t make sense, was not something she was worthy of. But she also knew All Might wasn’t going to be around much longer. So she took the hair, tearfully promised him to continue his legacy and ate the hair.

Right as All Might passed away.

After that, Cathleen got busy to see if there were any casualties.

‘Luckily’, the amount was very small for such an attack. Including the villain, David and All Might, there were five deaths. Sadly, Cathleen recognized the two.

“Sorry miss Star but we didn’t hear anything and got worried about you…M-mama, p-papa?” Of course Pony had to come see if Cathleen was already with Melissa, causing her to see her now deceased parents.

All For One’s first wild blast must have hit the ceiling, causing it to crash down onto the American couple.

That day, Cathleen lost a mentor, but two little girls lost their parents. And now all Cathleen can do is what All Might taught her.

Pick up the two girls, hug them, and reassure them that things will be alright.

A promise she would now do anything to make true.

Chapter Text

The aftermath of the I-island incident was a media circus. Afterall, the best hero in the world had just died and the second best heroine seemingly lost her quirk.

“Star&Stripes! Chitose Kizuki, Shoowaysha Publishing. Tell us what happened.” A blue skinned woman with black eyeshadow purple hair asked, getting into Cathleen’s face. And of course she wasn’t the only one to do so. 

“No comment. Now if you excuse me.” Cathleen sighed before trying to get away, only for the reporters to try and stop her. Luckily, someone from the police ordered his colleagues to get the media out of Cathleen’s way.

“Miss Bate, I’m Naomasa Tsukauchi. I’m a detective..and a friend of All Might. I know you two were close but can I have your description of the event?” The detective asked with a sad yet professional look on his face.

“*sigh* Sorry sir, I wasn’t really around to help All Might. I was making sure Pony and Melissa were safe and by the time I got to All Might, he and the villain killed each other.” Cathleen sighed, not subtly looking past the detective to see Melissa and Pony getting checked on by the paramedics.

“I see. Thank you anyway.” Naomasa said as he wrote everything down before following Cathleen’s gaze. “They’re worried about you. You should go to them.”

“Even after all this, they’re more worried about me. That or they’re trying to keep their mind off things.” Star sighed as she made her way towards the girls, only for the detective to hand her a piece of paper. “A number? I’m flattered but I’m not interested.”

“It’s someone that can explain more about the quirk.” The detective explained before going back to work, giving Cathleen the change to go to the girls.

“Are you two injured?”

“No, miss Star…are you?” Melissa mumbled while Pony hugged the older girl for comfort.

“I’m fine, sweetie. And please, call me Cathleen. It’s less of a mouthful.” Cathleen said with a reassuring smile. “You two don’t happen to have any relatives to stay with?” She then asked while the two girls shook their little heads.

“Can we..stay with you?” As soon as Pony, who had been silent the whole time, asked this with the softest tone Cathleen had ever heard, the heroine only had one option.

“…*sigh* I’m sure a little while won’t hurt.”

Somehow that was three years ago, and Melissa and Pony still lived with Cathleen in the military base.

Were there rough spots? Of course. Both Melissa and Pony got extensive therapy for their traumas, once a month, and older Japanese man came to beat Cathleen up (usually until Melissa and Pony threatened to beat Gran Torino up himself), and Cathleen’s cooking could be seen as inhuman torture.

Nevertheless, Cathleen got very attached to the two girls, which was mutual.

“Say Cathy, are you finally going to adopt Melissa and Pony?” Her sister Lilly, full name Lillian, asked over the phone.

“Come on, sis. They don’t want me to be their mom. Just today, Pony almost threw up because of the cake I made for her birthday.”

“Don’t be stubborn. You BAKED her a cake. You hate doing anything in the kitchen, yet little Pony was worth it.”

“It doesn’t matter that I want to be their mother. They need to want it as well.”

“I want it.” Just as Cathleen was on the phone with her younger sister, Pony (dared by Melissa) tried to sneak past her to see her birthday present, only to hear the conversation.

“…Pony, put the present back in the closet, young lady.”

“Hihihi, yes Momma.” The hooved girl giggled, putting the box back before running towards Melissa to tell her the news.

“Want me to send the adoption papers your way?”

“*sigh* Thanks sis. I hope you’re ready to be an aunt.”

Like their adoptive mother, Melissa and Pony Bate wanted to be heroines. But while they always envisioned it, they would just become heroines belonging to the military like Cathleen.

Their mom however had different plans.

“You want us to move to Japan..to go to school there?” Pony asked, confused.

“Yes, it’s the school All Might went to, so it will help when I give Pony One For All.” Cathleen explained, not fully convincing her daughters. “And I might…*sigh* Kids, I love being a heroine. And the military really helped me. But I..didn’t really have friends my own age while training. Going to a hero school means you two can also socialize.”

And so, because neither girl could argue with that, they moved to Japan.

After All Might’s death, the public safety commission increased their control despite the decrease in heroes, which meant one thing for Kaina at the moment.

Keep watch over the American heroine that was moving to Japan and get them under the commission’s thumb. So she waited for her at the airport to lead her to the commission’s office.

The problem however was the heroine herself.

“Lord almighty, this woman is so fucking hot!” Inner Kaina yelled at herself once she and Cathleen came face to face. And it wasn’t like Cathy was faring better.

“Lord almighty, this woman is so fucking adorable!” Inner Cathleen yelled at herself. All the while Melissa glared at Kaina.

“Miss, can you move aside. Me, my sister and mother have to go to UA.” The older daughter said unimpressed.

“Mother? So she has kids..that means she already has a partner.” Kaina thought to herself before remembering her mission.

“I see, well when you’re done, please call this number. The chairwoman wants to talk with you, Miss Star&Stripes.” A bit more professional version of Kaina said as she handed Cathleen a card with her number.

A fact neither very blushing about. Not at all.

“Oh, thank you, miss…”

“Nagant. Lady Nagant…but you can call me Kaina if you want.” Nagant mumbled, immediately cursing herself for being too forward. But then, Cathleen laughed.

“In that case, you can call me Cathleen. Less of a mouthful.” The muscular woman said before turning around and walking away with Melissa. That meant Pony was a bit behind, all because she stopped to say one sentence to Kaina.

“Momma’s single.” Was all she said before following Melissa and Cathleen.

And yes, she did giggle once Kaina, thinking nobody was looking, cheered.

Going to UA sounded great. Socializing with people their own age sounded fun and as a bonus for Pony, if they got in, Cathleen would give her One For All. But there was one problem.

After All Might’s death, the hero public safety commission tried everything to fill the power vacuum. And their current idea was hero teams. So now to even get into the school, you needed to be in a team of three, AND score in the top four score wise in the placement exam.

“I mean, there are a lot of people without a team. I’m sure we can find someone there.” Melissa suggested, pointing at a tent where you could indeed find teammates. Only Pony was more direct, having just pulled a boy that walked by with the space heroine Thirteen towards them.

“No need! Already found someone.” The horned girl cheered as Melissa took in the boy’s appearance.

He looked awful. Pale skin, skinny, a bad posture, white hair, a red eye while the other lacked a pupil. And his smell, boy did he smell AWFUL. Like a rotting corpse. And the fact that there were actually flies hovering above his head didn’t help. 

Still Pony was convinced, pulling the boy with them inside while ignoring his questions about who they were.

“I’m Melissa and she’s my little sister Pony. I guess you're our teammate now.”

“But I’m not” “What’s your name by the way, Stinky?” Pony cut the boy off enthusiastically as she still hadn't released his arm.

“…It’s complicated, but people call me Mustard.” Mustard admitted awkwardly.

“Mustard it is then.” Melissa said casually. “See, what’s your quirk actually?”

“Oh, I can take and give quirks.” Mustard answered like it was nothing. Pony and Melissa meanwhile thought one thing.

“That quirk..sounds familiar.”

The exam, which was a sort of race to destroy twenty robots while someone timed the students, wasn’t particularly hard for the trio. Yes, Mustard had no real physical strength but his multiple quirks came in handy.

So when it was Pony, Melissa and Mustard’s turn, the robots stood no chance against the combination of New Order, Horn cannon, a gas quirk Mustard used like a sensory organ, and a blue fire quirk.

Anyhow, it didn’t take long for the results to come in. More specifically, the next day.

Team 1 

• Setsuna Tokage 
• Ibara Shiozaki 
• Katsuki Bakugou 

Team 2

• Pony Bate
• Melissa Bate
• Mustard Idunno

Team 3

• Ochako Kodai
• Yui Kodai
• Izuku Midoriya 

Team 4

• Neito Monoma 
• Itsuka Kendo
• Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu

Chapter Text

“That brutish gorilla, how dare he do this to you, master.” 

After the fight between All Might and All For One resulted in both of them dying. But while All Might got a respectful funeral, there were already plans of putting All for One’s mutilated corpse on display.

But Kyuudai Garaki wasn’t going to let that happen. So he used his influence to sneak into the morgue and take the body to his underground lab. There he spent years trying to fix his boyfriend (though All For One regularly cheated on him to emotionally and sexually abuse random people for his own amusement). But even after eight years of work, the best he could do was keep the man artificially alive in a mechanical capsule.

Luckily, the good doctor had a backup plan.

Because of the special properties of All For One, the users are connected, meaning All For One could probably take over the bodies of other users. Case in point, the doctor infused a copy of the quirk into ten bodies from a no name village. 

A perfect plan with one fatal flaw. One of the new users, the ninth one to be exact, broke out of its tube and did not like being used as a puppet.

So obviously, he wrecked the entire lab after taking Kyuudai’s quirk, causing the doctor to age very fast until he died of old age as his life’s work got destroyed.

But while nearly all the other vessels died in their now wrecked tubes, one awakened earlier like Nine.

That one, the youngest one of them all, was left back under the rubble while Nine made a run for freedom.

And under the rubble, the boy stayed.

For the next two and a half weeks.

Like so many times before, Eri had to hide away from Overhaul and hope he wouldn’t find her this time. And today, she used a scary underground room she found by running through the dark alleyways around the Yakuza base.

The room itself was mostly dusty with only one lightbulb still working. It also stinked very much with a lot of flies. But at least it was mostly dry, warm and even had a cupboard filled with bottles of water and energy bars, among other food.

Still, it didn’t look like someone was home. That was, until Eri decided to sit down on one of the piles of rubble to catch her breath.

“….F…ood…” something groaned from underneath the rubble, causing Eri to yelp in fear while dropping her energy bar, which was then quickly grabbed from underneath the rubble by a boney, pale, unsteady hand. “Thank…you…”

“A-are you a ghost?” Eri asked, shoving the next food item in the cupboard towards the rubble as a peace offering.

“I…don’t know..” the voice growled from underneath his ‘prison’. “…I’m..stuck…” he then said slowly, clearly in pain.

“I-I’m sorry. I-I can’t lift all that.” Eri stuttered, still scared despite the voice giving no clear ill intentions away. “W-what is your name? I-I’m Eri.”

“….I don’t know.” The nameless boy mumbled. “You..think of…something.” He then ordered as Eri looked around for inspiration. Until she saw the food item she used a peace offering. A tube of mustard. 

“What about Mustard?” She suggested as if became dead silent until a bony hand wiggled from under the rubble. “Nice to meet you, Eri…I’m Mustard.”

Eri stayed with Mustard until the food ran out. In that time, the two got to know each other a bit better.

Mustard learned that Eri loved apples, had a quirk she was afraid of, and that she was hiding from someone named Overhaul.

She also found it funny when ‘big bro Mustard’ promised to beat him up.

As for Eri’s new knowledge of Mustard, it wasn’t much. Mostly because Mustard remembered nothing about his own past. So the only stuff he could tell her was events after he woke up and survived Nine’s destruction of the lab.

He stayed alive by drinking rainwater that got in thanks to leaky pipes, and he had been stuck under this rubble for 1 month, 3 days, 11 hours and 35 minutes…36 minutes.

That was a bit more than three and a half days ago, meaning that Mustard couldn’t move for 1 month and 1 week exactly before help arrived.

Anan was just doing rescue work for a nearby destroyed office building when she found a barricaded door with light coming from behind it. And since she was done rescuing everyone in the building, she decided to have a look.

Never in her life would she have expected a little albino girl with a horn, talking to a pile of rubble.

“Um little girl, what are you doing here?” She asked, only to clearly scare the child, causing her to hide behind the rubble pile. “I’m a heroine, it’s okay.” Thirteen continued but Eri still wasn’t convinced the older woman wasn’t a danger. So Anan did the first thing she thought of and removed her helmet before giving Eri a soft smile. “Let’s try this again. I’m Anan Kurose. I like space and documentaries. May I know your name?” She asked while keeping her distance, giving Eri the space to see her as a non-threat.

“…I’m Eri…please help big bro Mustard.” Eri mumbled, pointing at the pile, causing Anan to notice the sickly pale arm stick out from underneath.

“Of course. Rescuing people is my job…though you might want to look away.”

Anan didn’t want the little girl to see the probably deceased body of her brother.

But when Anan got rid of the rubble, she saw something far worse.

The boy was emaciated with flies hanging above him. Mostly pale skin and bones, had long blood covered white hair, plenty of bruises and cuts, a clearly blind eye because of a stray pebble, two broken legs, yellow teeth bordering on green and most cruelly, still alive.

Needless to say, Anan called the ambulance almost immediately.

After driving to the hospital with Eri, following the ambulance that carried Mustard, Anan had to make a phone call. “Um hello, Nemuri. I know you and Emi invited me to go for a drink, but I can’t right now. I was patrolling and came across two kids. The oldest of the two is in an awful state and I don’t want to leave the youngest alone.”

“Of course, we understand, Anan. Are you three at the hospital right now?”

“We are at the central hospital, yes. Why do you ask?”

“Hospital food is not particularly good. How about me and Emi come and bring over something better?”

“Really? I mean, thank you. I’m sure Eri would appreciate it.”

“Great. What do Eri and her sibling like to eat?”

“Well Eri says she likes apples and Mustard is currently getting the maggots removed from his body so I can’t really ask him right now.”

“…..”

“*sigh* Yes, according to Eri, her brother is named Mustard. My guess is that it’s a nickname but as long as I don’t know his real name, I’ll just call him that.”

“I see. Don't worry, me and Ems will make sure these kids get a feast. See you in a bit.” Nemuri said reassuringly before she hung up. “Well Emi, Anan has seemingly adopted strays and one of them is named after sauce. Meaning we have to seduce her another day.” Nemuri sighed. “Anyhow, let’s finish our surprise romantic dinner and bring it to the hospital.”

“Umpf!” 

“Oh yeah, our seduction plan.” Nemuri sighed smugly, looking at her girlfriend tied to the bed, naked and gagged with a ballgag. “Come darling, give me a hand.” The twilight heroine said while untying Emi. But before the smiling heroine could remove the gag, Nemuri grabbed her hands. “No no, you can remove that, as well as put on clothes, when we’re done cooking.”

“Mhhu?”

“No arguing. Your mistress orders you.” Nemuri answered smugly, slapping Emi on the ass before the two entered their kitchen.

Mustard didn’t remember much from when Thirteen showed up. He was in incredible pain, felt something pulling onto the rubble on top of him, felt great and then finally, when he didn’t have to worry about getting crushed anymore, he fainted from a new kind of pain, exhaustion and starvation.

According to Kurose, the doctors were surprised he was still alive despite him not really being alive. The best way to describe it was that he was still alive but his body had started to slightly decompose. A bit of skin here, some maggots there.

Which brought his attention to the next thing. The space heroine Thirteen, or as she told them to call her, Anan Kurose, had stayed with Eri the entire five hours he spent in surgery. And apparently, she wasn’t alone. When he woke up, Eri was giggling about something a seafoam color haired woman told her (good), while Kurose was talking with a curvy woman with long dark hair before the two noticed Mustard was awake.

“Good evening, Mustard. How are you feeling?” Anan asked with a tone Mustard found oddly comforting.

“….Where…am I?”

“The hospital. You were in quite a bad state when I found you.” Anan answered. “If you don’t mind me asking, why were you under that rubble? I mean, how did you end up there?” She asked, forcing Mustard to think back.

To waking up in a tube before a tall man destroyed everything in sight.

“I don’t know how I ended up there…but someone destroyed the room and left me there.” Mustard answered, trying to get up, only to hiss in pain.

“Just rest up, kiddo. Right now you have not enough energy to get Recovery girl involved so you have to heal the old fashioned way.” The seafoam haired woman said while Eri climbed onto the bed Mustard laid in.

“You look funny. Like a ghost.” She said innocently, though clearly with no ill intent.

“And you look funny too. Like a unicorn or something.” The boy said back dryly before noticing something he didn’t before.

Eri had hooves.

“What’s an unicorn?”

“They are horses with a horn on top of their head. They are quite pretty.” The curvy woman explained before turning to Mustard. “It’s a miracle you are alive. How long do you think you’ve been under that rubble?”

“A month and a week, to the day.”

“….W-Well, we’re glad your alrig..alive.” ‘Curves’ said awkwardly before recomposing herself. “Where are my manners? I’m Nemuri Kayama, the beautiful woman is Emi Fukukado and the other beautiful woman is Anan Kurose. We’re heroines.”

“N-Nemuri! You can’t say stuff like that!” Anan yelped embarrassed. And despite knowing nothing about himself, even Mustard knew gay panic when he saw it. Luckily, Anan calmed herself down enough to continue. “I’m sure you have some questions, Mustard. Eri already asked hers so it’s your turn.”

“Okay…Why did you help me?”

“I couldn’t leave you two in a dark room alone. It goes against my morals AND my job.”

“So you don’t want something in return?”

“Maybe know a bit more about you. Like Eri calls you Mustard but that can’t be your actual name.” Anan laughed..,only Mustard didn’t.

“I don’t remember much..anything really.”

“I see. So no name, age, family?” Anan asked, causing the boy to shake his head. “Alright then, guess I’m just going to call you Mustard then. Is that alright with you?”

“Sure…So what now?”

“Easy, since you have to go through physical therapy, I thought you and Eri might stay with me for a bit. We looked but neither of you have any relatives. So, would you be alright with that?”

“Sure…You seem fine and Eri already likes you.” The boy mumbled before pulling Eri’s cheek, causing her to pout. “If not for her, I would probably be dead dead, nor alive dead like now.”

“Then that’s settled. Any more questions before we start your therapy?”

“…Why are their breasts so much bigger than yours?” Mustard asked, causing Nemuri to roar with laughter.

“You're my favorite, Mustard!”

“*gasp* How could you, Nemy? Don’t worry, Eri. You’re still my favorite.” Emi stated while hugging Eri, who hugged her back to everyone’s relief.

Anan meanwhile realized that this was her life now. And the weirdest part was, she didn’t mind it.

Chapter Text

Ochako always wanted to be a heroine. She loved making people smile, as well as helping them. And her older step sister Yuu being a pro heroine also made her more excited about everything. But the biggest reason she wanted to be a rescue heroine was her idol Thirteen.

This did of course also mean that she had to go to UA. And her other stepsister Yui (Ochako loved her stepdad, but he wasn’t creative with names) was happy to help her achieve their dreams together.

The problem was that UA was currently focused on teams of three, not two. So the step siblings had to find a third member.

“What about that tall girl with glasses? She looks strong.” Yui suggested.

“I don’t know, Yui. We can’t just pick someone. It has to be someone who’s quirk works best with ours.” Ochako sighed. “Why does this have to be so har”-“Shut up, Deku!” Before Ochako could fall in despair, her and Yui’s attention was brought to another duo. Two boys, only with blonde hair and a very pissed of face, while the other was,

“God, he’s cute.” Ochako mumbled before realizing what she said. “D-did I just say that?”

“Oh you did. Let’s ask him.” Yui said monotonously yet smugly as the two girls made their way to the two boys.

“Come on, Kacchan. I know we don’t always get along but you need to be a team.” The ‘cute’ greenette tried to calm Kacchan’ down. But the other boy wasn’t having it.

“I would never team up with such a pathetic weakling like you, Deku.”

“Well I’m sure you’re going to make a lot of friends with that attitude.” Yui said dryly as she and Ochako joined them.

“Who the hell are you fat cheeks?”

“I’m Yui Kodai. And this is my cute sister Ochako. Don’t you think she’s cute too?” Yui asked Izuku, who immediately started to blush.

“I-I mean, s-she is c-cute, I-I guess” The boy mumbled with a shy grin, who he tried to hide from Ochako.

“O-oh, I-I guess you’re pretty cute too.” Ochako laughed shyly, causing Izuku’s blush to increase tenfold.

“…Oh my god, you’re such a fucking loser, Deku.” Bakugou growled before stomping off.

“Goodbye asshole. Go suck a dick, ya cockles twink.” Yui said after him monotonously. “I hope he breaks his legs.”

“I know, sis. I know.” Her step sister sighed before she turned her attention back to her new crush. “Wanna join our team, Deku? She asked, congratulating herself for keeping her cool.

“Actually, Deku is an insulting nickname Kacchan gave me. My actual name is Izuku Midoriya.” Izuku admitted awkwardly while scratching the back of his neck.

“O-oh! I’m sorry! I should have assumed but I thought it sounded like Dekiru. Y-you know, like you can do it!” Sensing that she made this awkward, Ochako tried to cheer the boy up. 

“Call me Deku.” A smiling Izuku said enthusiastically.

“God, you two are made for each other.” 

“What did you say, Yui?”

“*sigh* Never mind, Ochako. Now come, Deku. You belong to us now.”

After the exam, Cathleen drove to UA for reasons she didn’t want to tell yet. And because they were bored, Melissa and Pony joined her.

There, they found Mustard laying on the floor in the garden with a little girl next to him.

“What are you doing, Musty?” Pony asked as she nonchalantly laid next to him.

“Decomposing…What are you two doing here? I thought the school year started tomorrow.” Mustard answered casually.

“Momma had to talk with the principal.”

“Wait, the hot buff woman is your mom…I can see it.”

“Me and Pony are both adopted.” Melissa said with an unimpressed look. “And what do you mean by decomposing?”

“I spent months under rubble in a dark leaky lab. I’m almost a literal dead man walking.”

“So that’s why you smell so bad.” The older Bate concluded, causing Mustard to hum. “Shouldn’t you go to a doctor for that?”

“Can you stop an apple from rotting? Medical technology isn’t far enough to save my body.”

“…Perhaps Meli can help. Her quirk is super strong and can do anything.”

“Pony, if I use New Order, his body will continue to rot when I use it multiple times. Remember, only a couple orders can exist at the same time.” Melissa reminded her adoptive sister before turning her attention to Eri, who laid on her back with a piece of grass in her mouth. “Who’s your little friend?”

“She’s Eri, my…sister I suppose.”

“Wanna hear a joke?” Eri asked innocently. “Why do bee-I mean bugs like Shakespeare?”

“Mmm, I don’t know. Why do they like Shakespeare?” Melissa asked, deciding to humor the little girl.

“Because he said ‘To bee or not to bee’.” Eri giggled while Mustard briefly snorted.

“Haha, good one, Eri.” Pony laughed because her sense of humor is kinda bad.

“Thank you..lady.” The little girl mumbled shyly before noticing Pony’s appearance. “Big brother, she has the same feet.”

“Sure do. Means we’re hoove-pals.” Pony said cheerfully, something Eri quickly became as well.

“Hoove-pals.” She gasped, totally in awe at the mere concept of being a ‘pal’. “Can I really be a hoove-pal?”

“Of course, buddy. You seem like a nice girl.” Melissa answered, ruffling Eri’s hair.

“Yes! Mama Joke and Momnight said the same.”

“Mama Joke? Momnight? Like Miss Joke and Midnight?” Melissa asked. “Neither of you look like either of them.”

“Eri calls them that. Anan rescued us and it’s kinda pathetic how desperately Emi and Nemuri want to get in her pants. Almost as pathetic as Anan wanting to get in theirs but thinking she’s not good enough.”

“Wanna join the ‘DLC’ club?” Pony and Melissa asked in unison once the older of the two also laid down on the grass.

“The what?”

“Disaster Lesbian-mom Club. Our momma has a little crush on Kaina.” Pony explained, not noticing Melissa rolling her eyes. Mustard however did notice..but he just didn’t care enough.

“By the way, our momma thinks you’re possessed by the devil.” Pony said out of nowhere.

“…Fair enough.”

“You just don’t care about anything, do you?”

“Sorry to say, Melody. Can’t really do much about a hot muscle woman I don’t know, not liking me.”

“It’s Melissa.”

“Sorry, I didn’t want to offend you but we literally met yesterday…Do you two usually just take a random person and become their friend?”

“Nope..You’re kinda our first friend.” Pony admitted.

“Really? You two couldn’t do better?…..But thanks, I didn’t have any friends before you two either.” After briefly mocking the sisters, Mustard admitted.

“Aren’t we friends?”

“You don’t count, Eri. We live in the same apartment, Anan’s to be exact, and you call me big brother sometimes. You’re just my little sister.”

“Does that mean Anan is our mama?”

“….Why don’t we stay quiet for a bit.” Mustard mumbled as he nonchalantly smushed Eri’s face with one of his hands. Just as Cathleen returned from the meeting with the principal. 

“Hey girls…Demonic corpse boy.” Cathleen greeted, picking up her daughters and Eri to get them away from Mustard. “I was actually looking for you.”

“Awe, you flatter me, Buff woman. And here I thought my good looks disappeared when I got stuck.”

“…You might be the most annoying boy I ever met.” Cathleen grumbled before recollecting herself. “Do you perhaps know someone named All For One?”

“Isn’t that the catchphrase from the three musketeers?”

“Mustard, for the safety of my daughters, I need you to be serious for one second. Can you do that?” The woman asked, sending a clear message to the boy.

One of a mother protecting her kids.

“…*sigh* No, never heard of them. Now I have a question. Why do you hate me?” 

“I don’t hate you, I just want to make sure there won’t be a second All For One.”

“Who’s All For One?” Eri asked, trying to get out of Cathleen’s grip, only for Cathleen to ‘ensure her safety’.

“He was a villain that could take and give quirks.”

“…Was he by any chance a short fat grandpa or a tall man?” Mustard asked after thinking back to the first moments he remembered after getting out of the tube, remembering seeing two men with one killing the other.

“I suppose he was.”

“Oh, then he killed some old guy and destroyed the building I was left to die in.” Mustard concluded, just as Anan joined the group as well.

“Mustard, Eri, dinners done.” The space heroine said, wearing an apron instead of her signature spacesuit.

“Yes, boss.” Mustard said nonchalantly, picking Eri out of Cathleen’s arms. “See you two tomorrow, friends.”

“See you tomorrow, Musty.” Pony cheered, completely unaware of her adoptive mother’s absolute look of terror.

“Don’t worry, momma. I’m sure Mustard isn’t going to kill us.” Pony reassured her mom while they ate take-out.

Because Cathleen’s cooking is inhumane torture.

“Let’s hope it. Right now, he just seems uninterested in doing so..or anything for that matter.” Cathleen sighed. “Where did you even find this guy?”

“Pony picked him up somewhere when we needed a teammate.” Melissa mumbled dryly. “How was the talk with principal Nezu actually?”

“Great actually. I got the job.”

“…….What?”

“I wanted to help my babies so I got a job as a heroics teacher at UA. Which reminds me, we should move into the teacher’s apartment near the school.” Cathleen explained before noticing her girls’ tired expressions. “Hey now, don’t worry. Just because I’m your mother doesn’t mean you’ll get special treatment.”

“Please tell me that includes not embarrassing us.” Melissa groaned.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay professional..though I might have shown one of the teachers a couple old pictures.” Star confessed, thinking back to the teacher she showed the photo. “A woman with green hair and an orange scarf over it.”

*BING*

“Pony, what did I tell you about phones at the dinner table?”

“Actually, we’re sitting on the couch so…” Pony mumbled as she checked her phone. “It’s Mustard in the team chat.”

BEST TEAM EVAR!!!

Musty sent photo (one of a very young Pony and Melissa wearing much to big military uniforms)

Musty : Well ain’t you two little cuties.

Rodeo has changed Musty’s name to Dickhead.

Dickhead : I deserved that one.

Chapter Text

“First day! First day! First day!” Pony cheered as she, Mustard and Melissa made their way to their classroom. “Join me, you two.”

“It’s too early for your energy, Pony. It’s eight in the morning.”

“Don’t care, Musty. Too excited! So join!”

“*sigh* Wahoo, school.” A very monotonous Mustard cheered. 

“That’s the spirit, Musty. Before you know it, you're just as enthusiastic about UA as we are.”

“Really Melissa? You’re calling me Musty too?”

“It’s a nickname. Never had one?”

“The first ten plus years of my life are a blank before I could could the literal seconds I was rotting away in a ruin. A nickname wasn’t in that time.” Mustard explained. “And don’t you two have nicknames for each other or something?”

“I used to call Melissa Smell-issa when I was little and furious at her.” Pony snickered as for the first time today, Mustard got interested.

“Oh, I smell drama. Tell me.”

“Pony had this stuffed tiger she loved. Mom bought it for her when she just took us in. I might have made it dirty once.”

“You threw up on him!”

“I was sick, okay, sue me. Oh wait, you did do that. You held a whole fake court case. You called it Smell-issa vs the people and Pouncey. You even got the entire base and auntie Lillie involved.”

“Auntie Lillie said you were guilty.”

“Auntie Lillie was a corrupt judge!”

“You know, it’s nice that somehow I’m not the most insane person on the team.” The sole boy of the three mumbled before pulling out the phone Anan had given him.

BEST TEAM EVAR!!!

Dickhead has changed Diplomacy’s name to Smell-issa.

“So you three are the jokes that think they did better than us?” 

As soon as the trio entered the classroom, they were met by a blonde guy with, according to Melissa, either a family picture for grandma haircut or the world’s Gayest one. Behind stood a muscular boy with gray hair and a muscular girl with ginger hair in a ponytail.

"Come on, Monoma. Do you have to do this to every other team?” The girl asked, clearly annoyed.

“Yes Kendo, especially these three. We wouldn’t want the so-called best to think they’re better than us.”

“Is this school? In that case, I’m not sure if I’m ready yet.” Pony mumbled to her sister and friend, shocking Mustard in the process.

“Wait, you have never been to school?! I was banking on you knowing how this shit is supposed to go.” 

“No, we were homeschooled.”

“Well shit, I guess none of us have experience with being a scholar.”

“Are you three…ignoring me?” Neito asked. “Do you really think you’re so much better than us?” He continued as Pony began to feel a bit guilty about something she really shouldn’t.

Melissa meanwhile was getting a bit tired of Monoma’s shtick.

“No, of course we’re not. We’re just not in the mood for someone with a victim mentality on our first second of our first day of school.” She growled while glaring at Neito, who seemed genuinely taken aback.

“Nice going, Melissa. Let’s start a class war.”

“No Mustard. We’re not starting a class war, I just want this guy to stop picking on Pony..and I guess us too.” Melissa groaned, trying to stop Mustard from potentially getting expelled.

“She’s right. So please forgive Monoma.” The ginger girl said before extending her hand. “I’m Itsuka Kendo, he’s Neito Monoma and the grey-haired guy is Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu.” Itsuka introduces herself and her teammates.

“And I thought I had a terrible name.” Mustard mumbled. “The tall girl is Melissa, the short one is Pony, and I’m Mustard.”

“….You have a shitty name too.” Tetsu mumbled before hugging the Afo user. “We’re bros, bro!”

“…Did I just…make a friend?”

“I guess you did….Just like I’m gonna do.” Pony said before walking towards another animal-esque student in the classroom.

Only he wasn’t animal-esque, Katsuki Bakugou just had an ugly face when he scowled..which he always did.

“Heya” “Shut the fuck up, Horn-fuck.” Bakugou immediately cut off the cheery Pony before going back to scowling towards Izuku, which resulted in Ochako glaring back at him.

“Please forgive my teammate, he’s a bit” “Of a dick.” Not too far from Bakugou sat two girls. One with vines for hair, and a reptilian girl that cut off her apparent teammate. “The name’s Setsuna. Nice to meet ya.”

“My name is Ibara Shiozaki, it’s indeed a pleasure to meet you all.” Ibara introduced herself far more polite than her friend’s casualness.

“*sigh* Are all of you only here to waste time?” Out of seemingly nowhere, an adult man appeared behind Mustard, Tetsu and Melissa, who were still standing at the door.

“Look at that, a fellow corpse-man.” Mustard mumbled dryly, only for the new man to glare at him.

“All of you, if you’re here to have fun or make friends, leave my sight. This is a serious profession and I’m not in the mood for anything other than perfection.” The man ordered before putting a pile of blue gym uniforms on the table. “Put these on and meet me outside.” He said before leaving.

“…Who was he?” Itsuka asked skeptically.

“Shota Aizawa aka Eraserhead. Nemuri told me about him. He’s probably our homeroom teacher.” Mustard mumbled, grabbing one of the uniforms.

“So that means he’s nice?”

“Oh sweet naive Pony, even with Nemuri’s biased description, this guy is the someone that should stay fifty yards away from any school.”

As soon as the students arrived outside, Eraserhead was already timing them. “All of you are two minutes late. I’m not here to waste time.”

“Outside is a brought statement. We had to look around for a bit.” Yui explained monotonously. 

“Not my problem. Let’s just get this over with.” Her teacher sighed before flinging a ball at Izuku. “Get in the ring and throw this as far as possible.”

“C-can I use my quirk?”

“*sigh* The current ministry of education is a bunch of morons for forbidding students from using their quirks in fitness exams.” Eraserhead explained, even though it wasn’t a direct answer on Izuku’s question. “Now stop wasting time.”

Sensing that his teacher was losing his patients, Izuku got into the circle and activated his quirk, causing his eyes to light up while the ball and his hair lifted up, right before the ball shot forwards. And of course, Ochako cheered because of her teammate’s success, causing Eraserhead to glare at her before reading the results.

“1426 meters.” The teacher stated, giving no indication that it was good or bad as he turned to the other students. “You’ll be doing the usual tests. If you don’t impress me enough or end up last, you’re expelled.”

“…Mustard, can he, you know, do that?” Melissa whispered with widened eyes.

“According to Nemuri, Anan and Emi, he been doing this for two years.”

“Why?”

“His boyfriend died before we were born and we’re somehow responsible for it.”

“…You’re joking.”

“Wish I were, Melissa. Wish I were.” Mustard whispered back before it was his turn to throw the ball. It wasn’t as far as Izuku’s but it wasn’t that bad, especially for someone as skinny as Mustard.

Still, Eraserhead wasn’t impressed.

“That’s the best you can do? Why didn’t you use your quirk?”

“You wanna tell me how taking and giving quirks, poison breath and blue fire is gonna help me throw a ball.” 

“Drop the attitude.”

“I’m literally answering the question you asked me.”

“One more word out of you and you’re expelled.”

“But he’s right, sir. You asked him something and all he did was give his answer.” Pony pointed out. “Can we please just continue these games.”

“Games? Do you think this is a game?” Eraserhead growled. “Give me one good reason to not just expel all three of you. Because it’s becoming clear that your entire team is just going to waste my time by not taking this serious.” The teacher said annoyed, causing Melissa to panic while Pony got a angry.

“We’re taking this serious! So serious we..we can beat yo ass!” The horned girl yelled furiously.

“Hehehe, very funny, Pony. But let’s not fight our teacher.” Melissa laughed awkwardly.

“No Melissa, we can beat this jerk. You, me and Musty.” Pony said back. 

“…You know, fine. If you three can beat me, you can stay. Otherwise, you’ll get the hell out of my sight.” Eraserhead said before turning to the rest of the students. “The tests are over. Go home for the day.”

“But we still have other lessons today, like the orientation we already halfway missed.” Yui said monotonously, only to be ignored by her teacher.

“Are we seriously banking our future on a fight with a pro hero? Pony, have you lost your goddamm mind?” Melissa asked her adoptive sister, completely against the idea..until Eraserhead spoke up again.

“So at least someone has common sense.” The teacher said condescendingly.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Pony was just standing up for Mustard, who did what you asked him. You were just being unfair by suggesting we should throw away our chance over this. This whole situation is actually unfair since we all earned our spot yet you want to send one or more of us home anyhow.”

“Life’s not fair. I’m sure you never had to learn that but it’s true. So quit your whining and either start this or get the hell out of my school.” Aizawa ordered, expecting the girl to cry like the spoiled brat he thought she was.

“Sir,” instead Melissa pressed her glasses on her face with a stern look. “I’ve known the world is unfair since I was five.” She said as she turned to Mustard. “What’s his quirk?”

“He can stop quirks by looking at someone without blinking. Unluckily for everyone, I have a counter in mind..just please don’t scream.” Mustard asked, grabbing onto his upper and inner lip as Eraserhead got ready to erase the team’s quirks.

Then the AFO user ripped into the skin, revealing a pair of bulging discolored eyes, two rows of yellowish teeth behind bare lips and a lot of flesh.

The boy tried to ignore the screams of terror from his classmates, instead focusing on Eraserhead being forced to blink. “Your turns, girls.”

“Christ Mustard, warn us next time.” Melissa mumbled before using her quirk. “ Shota Aizawa’s quirk doesn’t work. ” She said, stopping her teacher from stopping their quirks again. 

“Someone with a non-offense quirk has to use out ways to fight. Something you probably never had to do.” Eraserhead growled, using his scarf to quickly wrap up Melissa, Pony and Mustard, only for the latter to open his mouth before blue fire came out of it.

Even for all his training, getting burned alive forced Eraserhead to release his captives, giving Melissa the chance to charge at him and hit him with an uppercut.

“I know us non-offensives have to train our bodies more, so I did!” Melissa roared angrily before looking up. “Now, Pony!”

Following her gaze, Aizawa saw Pony had gone up into the sky with her horns before quickly descending with said horns. “PONY SLAM!” The horned girl screamed as she body slammed her teacher. “Now!” She then ordered her teammates, who also jumped onto their teacher.

“One, two, three, WIN!” The three cheered as their classmates minus Bakugou, who hadn’t left yet, clapped.

“Guess we extra earned our place here…Now does someone have a needle and some treads?” Mustard asked, holding the skin of his lower law in place. Apparently his distraction had caused big tears near his cheeks.

“I’m sure the school nurse has some.” Izuku suggested. “But about your quirks, as well as Melissa and Pony’s.” He then said, pulling out a notebook out of nowhere.

“I’m sure we can discuss it at lunch, right now. Musty should go to the nurse’s office before he gets infected…or infected.” Melissa said dryly as the students left, taking Eraserhead disappearing into a yellow sleeping bag as a sign that they were dismissed.

Neito meanwhile walked at the back of the group, keeping a skeptical eye on Mustard.

Chapter Text

Nobody liked mathematics but at least Izuku got an autograph from Ectoplasm.

English with Present Mic went better, with of course the American duo excelling, much to Bakugou’s rage. At least Izuku got another autograph.

Nobody remembered much from modern literature with Cementos, besides of course Izuku’s autograph.

And art class was the most hilarious thing ever for everyone besides Mustard. Midnight tried to stay professional, but as soon as she heard about what happened with Eraserhead, she spent the rest of the hour scolding Mustard for tearing his skin.

All his ‘bad boy’ credit got destroyed once he got scolded like a little kid.

At least Izuku got his autograph.

“Do you think mister Aizawa is going to be alright?” Izuku asked as he and his classmates sat in the classroom after a full day.

“He’s dead. Me and the American wonders killed him.” Mustard mumbled matter of factly, scratching onto his new stitches.

“The American wonders and I, Mustard. And he’s not dead. He just fell asleep in his sleeping bag.” Melissa stated matter of factly. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

“And what does it matter? He seems like an ass.” Setsuna cut in. “Now are we just going to sit here until mister grouch comes back or go?”

“I mean, we have been waiting for him for half an hour. And when he fought Pony and the others, he said we could go.” Tetsu pointed out.

“Tetsutetsu’s right. All in favor of going home?” Yui asked, only for Setsuna to have a better idea.

“Let’s go to the mall together as a class.” She suggested, detaching her right hand to grab a piece of chalk and right ‘Do’ and ‘Don’t’ on the board. “Should I just chalk everyone up to ‘Do’?”

“Fuck no, I’m not going with you Damm extra’s!” Bakugou roared, stomping off afterwards.

“I also have to skip. I have to watch my sister while Nemuri and Emi train Anan.” Mustard sighed, earning him many confused looks. “*sigh* No, I don’t know what that means. But if Midnight says she’s going to train a woman she’s interested in, just like how she did with Ms Joke, I don’t want to think about it.”

“Why don’t we just take her with us. That way she’s entertained, fed and your lesbian moms have the house to themselves.” Yui suggested.

“They’re not my moms. Thirteen looks after me and Eri…and she just happens to be gay and has two gay women wanting to date her. You know, like a Yuri throuple anime….Should I write a Yuri manga based on their shenanigans?”

“I would read it.” Yui said matter of factly.

“Focus, everyone. We can pressure Mustard into writing porn another time. Right now, we have to decide whether to go to the mall or not.” Setsuna reminded everyone, gesturing at the board. “So do or don’t?”

‘Do’

• Setsuna 
• Pony
• Melissa 
• Mustard (+ Eri)
• Neito
• Itsuka 
• Tetsutetsu
• Ochako 
• Yui
• Izuku
• Ibara

Don’t 

• Bakubitch the massive ass-twat.

“Awe, Well aren’t you a cutie.” Setsuna and Ochako cooed in unison, pulling onto Eri’s cheeks. 

“Mustard, with all respect, how are you and her siblings? Like she’s a pure cinnamon roll and you literally look like you rotted under some damp rubble.” Setsuna said dryly, only for Mustard to point out that A: Eri wasn’t his biological sister but a girl he had grown attached to, and B: that did actually happen to him.

“I’m going to be honest, I thought you were born like that. Like it’s a physical mutation of your quirk.” Izuku mumbled, immediately scratching out that theory from his notebook.

“Nope, long ago, I was handsome. *sigh* Now I’m just stuck with flies.” Mustard sighed back, swatting away a couple flies that had gathered above his head.

“Don’t worry, Mustard. I think they just want to be your friends.” Eri mumbled ‘innocently’. But while the other students thought Eri was being cute, Mustard caught onto her little smirk. Needless to say, she was soon grabbed by her little legs before being held upside down by her brother. “Hihihihi M-mama! Hahahaha!”

“Mustard, stop bullying your sister. Older siblings should protect little siblings.” Anan said matter of factly. “Also, why aren’t you kids in class with Eraserhead?” 

“He didn’t show up, miss Thirteen.” Ochako explained before she grabbed Mustard by the shirt. “The thirteen is your mom?”

“For the last time, she’s not my mom. She’s..like my legal guardian without actually getting the law involved.”

“So she’s just our mama but you want to act cool.” Eri said cheekily, resulting in her getting shaken by her brother, causing her to giggle.

“Mustard,” Anan said sternly, though she had a fond tone in her voice.

“What? She’s giggling. She likes it. Right, Eri?”

“Hihihihihihihi!”

“Don’t worry, miss Thirteen. I used to do worse things to my little sister.” Yui ‘reassured’ the teacher. “Once, I tied a jumping rope around her neck like a dog’s leach and put her outside.”

“…Why?”

“She puked on my stuffed pig, Oinky.”

“Oh my gosh, Melissa did the same to Pouncy. I took her to court.” Pony cheered enthusiastically.

“….Alright then, I suppose you’re not going too far..Still Mustard, put Eri down.” Anan ordered

“*sigh* Yes boss.” The boy sighed back before flinging Eri onto the couch. “Anyhow, we’re going to the mall. I’ll make sure Eri is fed, entertained and in her bed when you’re back. Have fun, Anan.” Musty said, pushing his classmates out of his, Anan and Eri’s apartment.

“So this is the mall..So what do we do here?”

“What do you mean? Have you never been to the mall-Oh yeah, you literally lived under a rock.” Yui concluded. “Were we the first people your age you interacted with?”

“The first interaction I remember was Pony grabbing me by the neck and pulling me into UA. Though I might have met other people my age prior to getting stuck.” Mustard mumbled back.

“Don’t worry, Musty. Me and Melissa also sucked at being social at first.” Pony said, patting her friend on the back. “You get better with time. Just look at me. Everyone besides Melissa here is my pal.”

“Why not me? Are you suddenly too cool for your big sister?” Melissa asked smugly.

“You don’t count. You’re my big sister. It’s normal that we’re close. Right Yui, Itsuka, Eri?” Pony asked the other two girls she knew had other siblings.

“I mean, Hana and Tenko get on my nerves sometimes but I still love them.” Itsuka explained. “Plus they were supportive of me.”

“Both Yuu and Ochako are annoying hopeless romantics but I suppose I kinda love them too.” Yui brushed off, ruffling a flustered Ochako’s hair.

“I like Mustard. He plays with me and gives me apples.” Eri said innocently, physically being unable to say something bad about Mustard…Despite his many shortcomings.

“Well, aren't you adorable? I’m sure we can find you the cutest little outfits.” Setsuna said, pinching Eri’s cheek. “Which leads us to your previous question, Musty. What can we do at the mall? Why, go clothes shopping of course.” The reptilian girl cheered, something the other girls also did.

Mustard, Neito, Tetsutetsu and Izuku meanwhile tried to run away, only for Ibara’s vines to wrap around their legs and pull them with the girls into fifteen different clothing stores.

"I'm so hungry.” Pony groaned after the group spent an hour shopping for clothes. 

Well, not everyone bought clothes. Ibara didn’t want to indulge too much, Itsuka was happy with one leather jacket (the same one Tetsu bought for himself and then Neito so they had a team uniform), Setsuna got a lot of new clothes and accessories, Eri obviously got showered by new outfits, Ochako had a sweater she liked but found it too expensive (So Izuku bought it behind her back) and both Pony and Melissa bought Mustard a shirt so he had something to wear besides Anan’s old hand downs (Thirteen apparently went through a phase when she was younger).

And now, with the boys carrying the bags of clothes, they group went to get food.

“Welcome to the Fried bootjack-Ocha?” The cashier, a blonde girl the student’s age, gasped.

“Himiko, how have you been?” Ochako asked while hugging the other girl.

“Well I work here so..bad-ish. I swear, mom’s not giving me a penny from her fortune.” Himiko grumbled. “Who are your friends? They’re cute..besides that guy.” She said, pointing at Mustard, who gave her the finger.

“Oh, these are my classmates and one of the guys’ little sister.” Ochako introduced her classmates. “Guys, this is Himiko. She’s my ex-girlfriend.”

“…How did your parents take it?” Ibara asked softly.

“Our folks ain’t no homophobes.” Yui said a tat too defensive, causing Ibara to look awkwardly away from the Kodai sisters.

Izuku meanwhile had a horrible thought he regretted as soon as he thought of it. “Ochako is a lesbian..that’s hot….Wait what?! How can I think that about her..and why am I a bit sad…And why is Yui whispering to Ochako’s ex. Great, now they are giggling at me.”

Since everyone was completely unaware of Izuku’s inner monologue, they had already ordered a salad for him (the greenette told his teammates he was a vegetarian). But before he could follow his classmates, Himiko called him over.

“Izuku was it, Yui told me you’re after Ochako.” The blonde said with a smirk.

“W-what. I-I couldn’t! Besides, she dated yo-” “Ocha is bisexual, numb-nuts.” Himiko cut off his stuttering. “Look, you seem like a nice guy. But if you hurt her, I’ll cut off your dick and ram it up so high into the hole, you’ll end up pregnant.” She growled with a terrifying look.

“Himiko! What did I tell you about threatening the customers!”

"Sorry, boss!" And just like that, Himiko was back to her cheery self, even wishing Izuku good luck before bringing the group their food.

“So Eri, what did you think of today?” Melissa asked while the youngest of the group was looking in awe at the toy from her kid’s meal, a little stuffed donkey.

“It was fun. Thank you for taking me with you.” She mumbled shyly, having stuffed her fries into her little mouth.

“It’s nothing, Eri. You’re just too cute to leave behind.” Pony said, ruffling Eri’s hair. “Besides, this is more fun than Mustard babysitting. I’m sure he ain’t giving you nuggy’s.”  

“Actually, we have never eaten chicken before. There was no chicken in the old building, Eri never had it before and Anan is a vegan.” Mustard pointed out as Ochako made a mental note about the newest information about Thirteen.

“Wait, you never ate chicken before?” Itsuka asked. “What do you think of it?” She then asked as Musty ate his first ever fried chicken tender.

Almost immediately, his eyes lit up. “I love it.” 

“Hell yeah!” Tetsu cheered, accidentally spilling his cola onto Mustard’s hair, causing the splash zone to turn slightly brown.

But before Mustard could get angry, he and the rest of the table heard a gasp. One belonging to Setsuna.

“Setsuna, are you alright?” Ibara asked with a worried tone. But instead of answering her, Setsuna picked up her own cola and poured it onto Mustard’s hair, specifically the still white parts.

“What the hell, Setsu-” “Ripper?” Setsuna mumbled in shock, cutting off Mustard’s question.

All of a sudden, Mustard didn’t love his chicken anymore.

“Color me surprised, Mustard. Eri is actually asleep.” After returning from Nemuri and Emi’s place, Anan immediately checked Eri’s room to see the little girl sleeping with her new toy donkey. Mustard, just out of the shower, meanwhile waited on the couch until Anan returned. “So, did you have fun?”

“I suppose. We ate chicken and I love it. Though Setsuna called me something weird.”

“Is she bullying you? Because I can talk to her.” Anan immediately suggested, putting a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“No, no…she called me Ripper.” Mustard mumbled. “It..feels weird. Like she’s clearly not malicious but..I don’t know, I just feel a bit sick.” He grumbled. “Should I talk to Emi about this?”

“Of course, sweetie. Do you want to make an appointment or should I call Emi?”

“….Can you do it? I don’t….*Ugh* It’s just a name. A name I never heard before. Why is it bothering me so much.” Mustard growled, clearly trying to keep his voice down so Eri could sleep.

“Mustard, maybe it is your actual name.” Thirteen suggested, hoping to make it easier for Mustard. Only for the opposite to happen.

“How. Does. Setsuna. Know? I don’t even know my name. Why can’t I remember?” The boy seethed, pulling onto his loose skin, only for Anan to grab his hands.

“I don’t know, Mustard. But if you don’t feel comfortable about it, I won’t call you that name. You’ll just be Mustard as long as you want.” Anan said matter of factly, like it was the most logical option, while pulling Mustard’s hands away. “Would you like that?”

“…Yes.” Mustard sighed as he put his head on Anan’s shoulder. “How was your day? Did you have fun with Nemuri and Emi?”

“It was great. They wanted to show me something but we just ended up playing cards with a bit of wine.” Anan laughed before awkwardly scratching her neck. “Emi got a bit drunk though, telling me how much she loved me. I just helped her to get in her and Nemuri’s bed. *sigh* It took everything in me to not kiss her goodnight but you know, wouldn’t want to betray their trust.”

“….I’m going to hit the sack. See you tomorrow, Thirteen.” Mustard said monotonously before going to his room. Once he was there, he pulled out his phone.

Gas pals

Bad breath: Chickens.

Bad breath: You and Emi are scared chickens.

Chloroform: She was so cute when she was winning, okay!

Chloroform: I would have loved to train her but she was having so much fun!

Bad breath: C

Bad breath: H

Bad breath: I

Bad breath: C

Bad breath: K

Bad breath: E

Bad breath: N

Bad breath: S

Chloroform: Drop the attitude, boy.

Bad breath: You’re not my mom.

Chloroform: If things go well, me and Emi will be your moms.

Bad breath: …Hey Midnight,

Bad breath: Chicken.

Chapter Text

“Alright girls, pack your stuff. We’re moving to UA.” Cathleen said way too enthusiastically for how early it was. So early even that Melissa was still asleep while Pony was slipping in and out of sleep.

“Mmmm whut?” Pony yawned. “Dun wanna go back to USA..Have friends here..” She said before laying back down on her bed.

“Not the USA, UA. Since I work there now, they offered us an apartment on campus.” The woman explained. “Did you two go to bed late again?”

“Class…chat…ZZZZ” Pony mumbled something about their newest class group chat before going back to sleep.

“…..I'll start breakfast.” Cathleen sighed, deciding to let her girls sleep in for ten minutes. Instead she went to the kitchen to make breakfast, or at least attempted it.

But while boiling bacon and freezing eggs at the same time, the world's greatest heroine and worst chef remembered something. “Wasn’t I supposed to call someone..Oh yeah, the cute woman.”

Meanwhile at Kaina’s apartment.

“I’m sorry, Carlos. I can’t be with you anymore.” A woman played by Nao Kendo sobbed.

“Why Dumbella? Why?!” Her co-star cried out loud.

“Because *rips her face of like a mask, revealing Carlos’ face* I’m Carlos.”

“Damm, I did not see that coming.” Kaina mumbled in between eating her sugary cereal. But then, her phone rang.

‘Cathleen’

Needless to say, Kaina had to suppress her excitement (really Kaina, you're like a schoolgirl) before picking up. “Good morning, Miss Bate. How may I help you?”

“Good morning, Kaina. Sorry I couldn’t call you earlier. I was a bit busy.” Cathleen said casually, unaware of Kaina’s face turning red because the woman she had a crush on just called her by her first name. “But you said someone wanted to call me. Where can I find this person?”

“Oh..you mean the president. If you want, I could drive you to her. Just be warned, she can be a bit intense.” The sniper admitted.

“Don’t worry. I’m used to harsh authority.” Cathleen shrugged off. “So tomorrow?”

“It’s a date.” Nagant jokes, only to realize what she said and so immediately hung up. All the while Cathleen just shrugged it off.

“Can we start already?” Bakugou growled as he, the rest of his class and Cathleen waited in the fake cities of UA.

“We have to wait for Eraserhead. If I don’t, I won’t hear the rest of it.” Cathleen sighed, all the while looking proudly at Pony and Melissa.

Her girls, her babies, had decided to model their own heroine costumes after hers. The two girls wore high-collared skin-tight bodysuits with shoulder pads, boots and gauntlets (just like their mom). Though they both had something unique (Melissa made her own visor that she used to keep out on which rules were active, while Pony had a saddle and cowgirl hat..one clearly prioritized style over function). Another difference was the color scheme, with Melissa’s costume being pink while Pony’s had an orange color.

In Cathleen’s humble opinion, they were perfect costumes…And perfectly sat off Mustard’s costume.

The boy clearly went with his ‘corpse’ ecstatic. Blue pants with rips, a dirty white shirt (something tells Cathleen those were just his regular clothes) and gas mask.

“Not feeling like putting on a cool costume, Musty?” Pony asked casually while she waved at Mustard to come to her and Melissa. 

“Kinda, Nemuri and Emi are having a field day designing my costume. As in, they are still working on it. At least Anan gave me this mask to hide my face and protect my mouth.” The boy explained, just as Cathleen had enough of waiting, resulting in her calling Emi.

“Fukukado, have you seen Eraserhead? He told me to wait for him but he still hasn’t shown up.”

“Um Bate buddy ol’ pal, Eraserhead told Mic he had something more important to do. Sorry to say, but he’s not coming to help you.” Emi apologized over the phone. “Should I come over to help?”

“No thank you, I already let the students wait long enough.”

“Alrighty, good luck.”

“Thank you.” Cathleen said, hanging up before turning to the students. “So, Eraserhead had better things to do so let’s begin.” Cathleen said passive aggressively. “The plan is simple. Since you are all placed into teams of three, I suggest we do an exercise based around that. Inside that building is a fake bomb. One team will guard it while the other has to touch it.” Cathleen explained while pointing at one of the fake buildings. “Let’s start. The first match is team Tokage vs team Kodai..I just noticed that there are two Kodai. Are you two related?”

“My dad sleeps in her mom’s bed.” Yui said matter of factly. “Don’t worry, she is still allowed to sleep in it too.”

“That might be the weirdest way to say we’re stepsisters.”

“Let me have some fun, Ochako.”

“Okay, are there any questions before we can start?” Cathleen asked, resulting in Setsuna raising her hand while Katsuki just asked his question.

“How badly can I hurt Deku?”

“*insert Cathleen checking the list of students’ names* Who is Deku? You know, we’re acting like heroes so keep that in mind.” Cathleen explained before turning to Setsuna. “What about you, Tokage?”

“Could you please call me Setsuna? That’s my question.” The lizard girl said.

“Of course. Now let’s start. Team Setsuna are the villains that guard the bomb, while team Kodai are the heroes that have to retrieve the bomb.” Cathleen explained, proud of herself for ‘being a teacher’. But then Bakugou lost his temper.

“What?! How am I a villain while Deku is somehow a hero?!”

“Bakugou, I think it’s just a coincide-”-“Shut up, Salad slut!” Bakugou screamed, cutting off Ibara.

“Bakugou, after this, you’ll do a hundred push-ups. Continue this, I’ll double it.” Luckily, Cathleen stepped in with a threat. “Now if there aren’t any more questions, let’s start.” The teacher said sternly, only for things to go south very quickly.

“Deku, can you stop shaking this much? You’re freaking us out.” Yui said to her teammate while they and Ochako waited to be let into the building. The rest of the class were watching the upcoming match from the observation room while the other team was already in the building.

“I-I’m sorry, Yui.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Deku. Is this because of Bakugou?” Ochako asked, putting her hand on the shoulder in a comforting way. “Don’t worry, Deku. We’ll make sure he won’t hurt you.”

“N-no! You two don’t need to suffer for my issues.” Izuku stuttered, desperately trying to keep the Kodai sisters out of this.

“Too bad, buddy ol’ pal. We’re a team.” Yui reassured him, just as an explosion broke one of the walls.

“Damm Deku!” Bakugou roared as he flew towards the greenette.

“Look out!” Ochako ordered, touching some nearby stuff, have Yui shrink them and then flew the smaller weightless at Bakugou, right before Yui enlarged them again in Bakugou’s face. “Deku, use your quirk to move our ammo. Don’t worry, I made sure they don’t weigh anything.”

“But”-“No buts, you can do it, Deku!” Ochako yelled, barely nor rolling out of Bakugou’s explosion.

While the burn was barely visible on her face, more like a very light scorch, it did hit one of her bangs.

Katsuki Bakugou burned off one of Ochako Kodai’s bangs.

All of a sudden, Bakugou was psychically flung into a wall.

“You burned her bang.” Izuku growled with his hair up and glowing green eyes. Sadly, Bakugou saw this as Izuku accepting the fight. So he got up and grabbed onto the pin of his grenade gauntlet.

“Bakugou, you use that and you’ll lose. That thing can kill someone.” Cathleen ordered over the intercom, having recognized the item was military grade.

“Not if he dodge-*BAM*”

Before Bakugou could even fire, Cathleen flew through the wall with One For All, breaking the gauntlet with a punch while forcing Bakugou to the floor.

And just like that, Heroics was cut short.

Cathleen pulled Bakugou to the principal's office, all the while cursing herself for letting something like this happen on her first day of work. She also asked Nezu to call the boy’s parents, only for more people to be in the office.

Nezu was there, as was Mitsuki Bakugou. But with them were Eraserhead, Kaina (yeah) and an older woman.

“Katsuki, what did you do this time?” Mitsuki sighed, only for the older woman to raise her hand.

“Calm down, jr. I’m sure this is all a misunderstanding on Ms Bate’s side.” The woman said condescendingly.

“This boy wanted to use a potentially lethal weapon on a fellow student that he constantly insults. I told him not to do it, yet he did.” Cathleen explained calmly..before waving at Kaina.

“I leave you alone for one lesson and you let this happen.” 

“Excuse you, Eraserhead. You demand I wait for you and then don’t show up. What were you even doing?”

“What I do in my free time is none of your business.” Eraserhead growled, only for someone to speak up. 

“He was training some purple guy.” A girl with goggles and pink dreadlocks said. “I wanted to show the principal some design but I see you're busy.” Mei mumbled before leaving.

“You were training someone..that’s not even a student.” The American heroine said in disbelief. But before Eraserhead could defend himself with a simple ‘Mind your own business’, Nezu cut in..only for Mitsuki Sr. to cut in faster.

“Let’s just get this over with. Katsuki got a bit too passionate, nobody got hurt, I suggest we go on with our lives. Can you do that, Miss Bate?” The woman asked, once again passive aggressively.

“A bit too passionate? He attempted murder. If he hit Midoriya, he would be a bloody splat on the wall.” Star pointed out.

“Midoriya? Oh for fuck sake, Katsuki! I told you to leave Izuku alone!”

“Enough, Jr.” Once again, Mitsuki senior cut her daughter off. “Listen Bate, I understand that in the state, everyone is running around with deadly weapons but that’s not the case in Japan. Katsuki’s item is fine.”

“I’ve been in the military for twenty five years. I know a lethal weapon when I see it. And who are you even? I asked for the boy’s mother, not you and the Deadbeat teacher.” Cathleen said, starting to get fed up by the situation.

“Cathleen, remember the woman who wanted to talk to you? The president of the commission.” Nagant said awkwardly.

“It’s her. Isn’t she, Kaina?”

“Correct Star&Stripes. Now I suggest we just ignore this whole thing. I’ll be waiting for you this week to discuss a potential cooperation.” The president said, not waiting for an answer as she, Mitsuki and Katsuki left the office.

“…Kaina, I hate your boss.”

“I know, Bate..so do I.”

Chapter Text

About eleven years ago.

It was a couple days after the i-island incident and Melissa and Pony had started living at the army base with Cathleen. 

“And after proving that he could be a good boy, the star witch turned him into a real boy. And he and Geppetto lived happily ever after.” Cathleen finished reading the bedtime story from her phone as the little girls laid on two empty bunk beds (neither wanted to be in the top ones so..both on lower beds it was). It wasn’t a bad situation though, at least the girls didn’t need to sleep in the same room as the ‘bros’. Cathleen definitely didn’t want the two slightly scared young children to sleep in the same room as big, unknown, snoring, smelly (god those guys need a shower) men.

 Anyhow, after that she gave Pony her childhood stuffed All bear (a black bear in All Might’s golden age costume) and handed the girls two of her shirts which they could use as pajamas, the girls could finally go to sleep.

 “Cathleen, these are much too big for us.” Melissa pointed out matter of factly as Pony tried to stand up, only to trip over the shirt.

“Sorry kiddies, the force doesn’t really have anything child sized. Maybe tomorrow, we can go to the mall to buy some kids clothes. Maybe some other stuff too.” Cathleen mumbled to herself. “But that’s tomorrow. So goodnight Melissa, Pony.”

“Goodnight Cathleen.” Pony and Melissa said back in unison as Cathleen turned off the lights, leaving on a little desk lamp as a makeshift night light.

Despite what just happened to her dad and uncle, Melissa at least tried to sleep a bit.

Pony meanwhile was having a lot of trouble with that, meaning she was tossing and turning all night. But before Melissa could tell her to stop, someone shook her shoulder.

“Meli *sniff* I had a nightmare.” The youngest girl whimpered. “Cathleen is doing her best *sniff* but I miss mama and papa.”

“…Me too, Pony…but Cathleen tries. And when my mama died, I was very sad too. But it hurts a teeny bit less every day.” Little Melissa mumbled before she hugged Pony. “It’s gonna be alright, Pony. Big sis Meli got your back.”

“Hihi, thanks big sis Meli.” Pony giggled while yawning. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, little sister.”

“Good morning, Star&Stripes.” Nezu said enthusiastically as the big woman entered the teacher’s lounge. “I’m sorry yesterday’s lesson didn’t go as you pleased.”

“Come on, Star-y. It wasn’t your fault yesterday. It could have been Eraser as well.” Mic shrugged off, wanting to keep the atmosphere positive.

“Excellent, Mic. But that reminds me. Eraserhead, mind explaining what your thought process was yesterday.” Nezu said passive aggressively.

“I was busy, sir. If Star wants the job, she should be able to handle it herself.” Eraserhead shrugged off.

“You told me to wait for you and then left to train a boy that isn’t even part of the school.” Cathleen pointed out while Hizashi turned Eraserhead.

“Dude, did you train a kid that isn’t in UA…While ignoring your actual job?”

“He has a lot of potential. More than most of the actual students.”

“How do you know? You said you cut your little tests short so how can you make a correct assumption?” Nemuri asked.

“I’ve been doing this long enough to kno”-“I’m going to stop you right there, mister Aizawa.” Nezu cut off the man’s excuses. “Eraser old friend, you have worked with me for maybe three years. At first, I let you do as you please because of a mixture of my inability to completely understand your thought process, and Mic and Midnight vouching for you.  But as time goe”-“*KNOCK KNOCK* Is someone in here?” Mustard asked from behind the door.

“We’re not done yet, Eraserhead.” Nezu said sternly before telling Mustard to enter the room. “Young man, how may I help you?”

“I’m looking for Eraserhead. More specifically, if he’s still alive.” The boy said matter of factly, confusing the teachers.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The homeroom teacher growled.

“Well the last time we saw you was when you tried to expel me for not using my quirks when I would have been redundant, Pony for forgetting the word exercise and so using game, and Melissa for pretty much daring to have an non-offensive quirk. We then beat you fair and square in a match you demanded, after which you crawled into your sleeping bag to sulk. This is a long way of saying that we kinda thought you hung yourself.”

“…He did what?” After a short awkward silence, Anan and Cathleen spoke up in unison. “He tried to expel you and the girls? Why didn’t you tell me?” Anan asked, confused.

“None of us three had ever been in a high school. For all I knew, this was normal. So I didn’t feel the need to bring it up. But hey, nothing happened and we beat this ass. Melissa punched him in the face when he claimed she couldn’t do anything without her quirk, Pony had this cool body slam and I got to use that face thing you, Nemuri and Emi hate.” Mustard explained, a bit awkwardly.

“…Shota Aizawa, my patience with you is running drier than a dessert.” Nezu said and despite his cheery tone, it was clear that Eraserhead was in deep trouble. “Leave your little side project until your shift is over. No, I don't care about you having a busy schedule. If you resent doing your job so much, you can leave. Now get to your class and if I hear more about this disgraceful behavior, even Mic and Midnight won’t be able to help you.” The mammal warned before turning to Mustard. “But why did you need Eraserhead?”

“He’s half an hour late for homeroom. I just drew the shortest straw.”

“…You should go with him, Eraser. For my sake and certainly yours.” Nezu said ‘calmly’.

“Yeah, you piece of shit. We don’t have all day.” Mustard added, feeling it was necessary.

“Mustard, you’re grounded.” Emi ordered as she pointed at Eri, who was drawing next to Nemuri. “We told you not to swear in front of Eri.”

“I’m sure she can handle it. Besides, you can’t ground me. "You're not my mom.”

“If things go well, that might change.” Nemuri mumbled to herself with a smirk…only for Eri to hear her.

Que a giggling Eri asking her brother to help her with something.

Dearest mama Joke and Momnight,

Please go to mama and big bro and my house. There is a secret.

Bye,

Eri.

Ps. I quoted this word for word from her. Sincerely, Mustard.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Midway through modern art class, Eri ran into the classroom and handed Nemuri this letter before walking to Emi’s office (“Eri darling, don’t run in the halls.” Said Nemuri before the little girl left again).

Anyhow, Nemuri and Emi left their apartment that night to go to Anan’s place

“Should we have asked about the dress code? I hope Eri had casual clothes in mind.” Nemuri asked, gesturing at her purple sweater and grey sweatpants.

“Nemy, Eri is an angel but I’m certain she had nothing in mind.” Emi laughed, wearing a dumb t-shirt with the kanji for ‘boob window’ on it (gift from Nemuri), an orange dress and ‘funny’ socks. “Besides, it’s not like Anan prioritizes fashion, and I have yet to see Mustard wear something other than his UA uniform or the clothes he literally rotted in.”

“*sigh* We should really finish his hero costume.” Nemuri sighed fondly as the couple finally reached Anan's door. Upon knocking, Eri opened up with a white towel around her waist and a paper chef’s hat on her head.

“Welcome to our restaurant. I’ll show you two to your table.” Eri said, grabbing onto the two women’s hands before leading them inside through the kitchen, where Mustard was cooking. But before Emi could ask what he was making, Eri pulled her along to one table where Anan was already sitting.

“So Anan, have any idea what’s going on?” Nemuri asked once she and Emi sat down while Eri went to grab something.

“No idea. This is all Eri’s secret.” The space heroine said fondly, just as Eri returned with menu’s she made herself.

Among the drawings was only one dish, clearly written by Mustard.

Spaghetti Bolognese: 1000000000 yen (throuple discount of 100%)

“I mean, it’s a big discount.” Emi laughed, which Eri took as confirmation. So two minutes later, Mustard entered the living room with a big (real big. Like he probably bought it today for this occasion) plate.

“One big plate of pasta. And don’t worry, Anan. It’s all vegan.” He told the vegan woman.

“Not to sound ungrateful, chef. But shouldn’t there be more plates?” Nemuri asked, only for the boy to shake his head. “How bold..I love it.”

“Wait!” Before the three women could even think about eating, Eri yelled out. “To get the discount, you must be a toupee or whatever Mustard said. So kiss.” Eri ordered, causing Anan to blush harder than the other two.

“Eri, you can’t force people to kiss. It’s not nice.” Anan scolded lightly..only for Mustard to groan.

“For fuck sake, Anan. You three are grown women, not teenagers. I know Jack shit sometimes but the second I saw you three interact in the hospital, I knew you, Emi and Nemuri CLEARLY like each other. So please, can we not prolong the inevitable and can you three just kiss, go on a date, fucking fuck for all I care. Just stop with this pining.” Mustard ranted, covering Eri’s ears while he did so.

“…Nemuri, Emi, I’m a giant nerd and single mom of two. I know that’s not the most attractive but he’s right. I really like you two. So”-“HAHAHA! S-sorry, Anan. It's just, me and Nemy spend so long trying to seduce you.” Emi laughed, accidentally cutting off Nemuri.

“We should have just asked.” Nemuri concluded. “But Anan, you being a nerdy single mom just makes you smart, caring and adorable. Really, I was a bit afraid my style was going to scare you off. And I know Emi thought the same about you finding her jokes annoying.”

“What? I love her bad jokes. And your..style. Well I would be lying if I said I wanted to do it right away. But when the time comes, certainly.” A blushing Anan admitted.

“Then we’ll wait, forever if necessary. Afterall, trust and consent are keys to a healthy relationship.”

“So..are we a thing now?” Emi asked, getting her answer when both Nemuri and Anan grabbed her hands.

And so, Mustard and Eri tripled their maternal count.

The night the Bate’s slept in their new UA apartment was the night Melissa and Pony realized something.

They had never slept in separate rooms. The army base had only one room for the two of them, and the hotel also had their beds in the same room.

But the new apartment was spacious, resulting in the two girls having separate rooms. During the day, it was great. They had space, privacy and the freedom to decorate their own rooms.

But at night, it was quiet. Too quiet, lacking the sounds Pony’s hooves made  while tossing and turning or the slight whistle Melissa did in her sleep.

Because of that, Melissa wasn’t surprised when Pony knocked on her door with a pillow and blanket. “Sleepover?”

“Hehe, missed me, ya baby?” Melissa snickered while stepping aside.

“You’re letting me in, baby.” Pony laughed back as her older sister rolled her eyes fondly. “Goodnight big sis.” She said while laying on the floor.

“The floor of Melissa Bate’s room is soft.” Melissa used her quirk before also going back into bed. “Goodnight, little sister.”

Characters test

Chapter Text

“You know, I feel great about today.” Pony said enthusiastically at breakfast.

“Great job, Pony. Now you cursed us for the day.” Melissa sighed, smacking her little sister on the head.

“Melissa, stop hitting your sister.” Cathleen ordered. “It’s better to stay positive.”

“Momma’s right. We’re in UA, we haven’t driven our homeroom teacher to suicide, and that bully Bakugou is gone.” The horned girl cheered, only for Cathleen to point out that Bakugou wasn’t expelled. “Why? He sucks.”

“Pony sweetie, once you’re older, I’ll teach you about nepotism.” Cathleen explained. “Sadly, I have some..quite terrible news.”

“Who must we beat you?”

“Pony, we mustn’t beat up people. We’re heroines…let’s send Mustard to do it in exchange for chicken.”

“No, no, girls. No beating up people or sicking your human attack dog on them.” Cathleen sighed, ignoring the girls’ laughing about their mom’s name for Mustard. “But in all seriousness, me and Gran Torino have been talking about your process and well,” the heroine began, thinking back to her meeting with Gran Torino.

“So Cathleen, how are the girls doing?” Sorahiko asked over a cup of coffee, something he had done for a while. At first he and Cathleen talked over the phone, but once the Bate’s moved to Japan, their talks about One For All and the girls became face to face talks.

“Not to brag but they got into UA while being teamed up with a user of All For One.”

“…What, the hell, did, you, say?”

“So I might have not told Gran Torino about Mustard’s existence. And before I could explain he’s either too lazy or stupid to be a threat, the old man already lost his mind.”

“Too lazy. Mustard is smart, just uninterested in..well anything. Like I think the only reason he goes to class is because he knows we want to be pro heroines.” Melissa explained matter of factly.

“That’s sweet…Anyhow, now the old man will show up semi-unannounced, as is he will come this week, to see if Pony is worthy of One For All.” Cathleen said matter of factly. “So just be yourself and you know, make sure Mustard doesn’t summon cthulhu.”

“…Sorry I cursed us for the day.” Pony mumbled, earning her a sympathetic head pat from Cathleen.

“Hey Mustard, what's going on with them?” That morning, Itsuka noticed the Bate sisters being on edge and so asked Mustard if something was wrong.

“Their grandpa is looking for them. So they’re on edge and I’m supposed to stay away from them.”

“Why?” Tetsu cuts in.

“He doesn’t like me, eventually he never met me..That happens quite a lot actually. Star&Stripes, Pony and Melissa’s gramps, kinda Eraserhead, though he hated all of us before meeting us.” Mustard explained casually. “Anyhow, they’ll be fine. The old jackass just wants to see how their hero careers. Apparently he’s some retired pro.”

“Gran Torino perhaps?” Seemingly out of nowhere, though not really since both Itsuka and Tetsutetsu were there, Neito asked this.

“I guess, you know him or something?”

“You could say that, Musty.” Neito said with a condescending tone, even ruffling the other guy’s hair (all the while swatting away the flies). He then made his way towards the two Bate’s. “So ladies, are you two really scared of an old ma,”-“Shut up, Monoma.” Melissa cut the other blonde off. “We’re not in the mood for your stuff.”

“Why so hostile, I just want to talk a bit about how it’s going with One For All.” Neito said matter of factly, shocking Melissa and Pony.

“W-what are you talking about?! I-I dunno what that is! W-what is tha-MMH?!” A panicking Pony yelped before Melissa covered her little sister’s mouth with her hand.

“So does our dear friend Pony already have the quirk or does Miss Bate still have it?” Neito went on.

“Quit the games, Monoma. How do you know about One For All?”

“My my Melissa, calm yourself. I won’t tell anyone.” Neito reassured her, still as smug as ever. “All you need to know is that I know about the quirk-WOAH!”

“Listen up, smart-butt. Drop being vague and tell us what you know. And no lying.” Pony growled, pulling Neito onto her desk by his UA uniform.

“Okay, okay, I just..my quirk lets me copy other’s quirks. Does that sound vaguely familiar?”

“Not really.”

“His quirk might be a much, much weaker version of All For One…Also its smartass. Not smart-butt.” Melissa said before also grabbing Neito’s clothes. “Are you also another All For One user?”

“….My father wanted a proper heir for his quirk, but I was a failure. Though apparently, he succeeded with Ripper over there.” The Copy user sighed, gesturing at Mustard, who was swatting away flies.

“…Y-you’re All For One’s son?” Pony mumbled, having put it together.

“I apologize. I don’t know for what yet but knowing that bastard, he probably did something terrible to you.”

“He killed my parents and All Might.” Pony said matter of factly, shocking Neito with how severely his father’s wrongdoings were (though if he was being honest, it wasn’t that surprising).

“….Again Pony, I’m sorry.”

“*sigh* Monoma, you don’t need to apologize for your jerk dad.” Luckily Pony didn’t hold it against him. 

“She’s right. And hey, maybe you can help us out.” Melissa suggested. “Just please, keep this to yourself…and don’t call Mustard Ripper. It really bothers him.”

“You have my words.” The copy student reassured the girl. “Though if you want my advice, be careful around Mustard. He has my old man’s quirk and if he’s only 10% like him, he’s already extremely dangerous.”

“Good morning students. And welcome to the USJ.” Thirteen announced enthusiastically as she, the students, Eraserhead..and two more stood in front of the USJ. “Now before we start, why is Sir Nighteye here? Nezu informed me about Gran Torino but not about you.”

“I’m here to..examine someone. Please just go on.” The foresight hero said matter of factly.

“Right..Eraserhead, are you also ready?”

“*sigh* Let’s just get this over with..And Kodai, stop breathing this loud.” The teacher sighed, pointing at Ochako to make it clear who he meant.

“Sorry sir. I just always wanted to go to the USJ. Yui, pinch me. I think I’m dreaming.” Ochako gushed, only to yelp out once Yui pinched her very hard.

“I know this makes me a horrible teacher, but you’re my favorite.” Thirteen mumbled.

“Woah..that kinda hurt.” Mustard mumbled before he noticed Torino glaring at him. “Want something, leprechaun?”

“…From a big intimidating man to a little skin and bone boy.” The old man sighed. “Just stay away from the Bate’s.”

“Really? So I shouldn’t do this?” Mustard asked condescendingly before ruffling Melissa and Pony’s hair.

“Mustard, stop this. You will get knots in my hair.” Melissa ordered, only for Pony to immediately ruffle her hair as well. “Pony! Stop that, you little jerks.” The oldest of the three laughed while retaliating by grabbing the other two by the head and holding them under her armpits. “When we’re done, you two will be brushing my hair for an hour.”

“Thirteen, I would like to talk to Pony personally before the lesson. I hope that’s alright.” Nighteye said out of nowhere, though it clearly wasn’t a request.

“I rather start the lesson right away. I’m sure you can discuss your business afterwards.”

“It won’t take long.”

“Nighteye, let the girl show what she had learned ye,” “My decision is finally, Torino.” After it became clear Nighteye wasn’t going to let up, Pony agreed to briefly go with Sir Nighteye. So after reassuring Melissa she could handle herself like a big girl for a while, the hero and student split from the rest of the group.

“So mister, what did you want to talk about?” Pony asked enthusiastically, hoping this wasn’t going to take long.

“I cut to the point. I don’t think you’re correct for One For All.” Nighteye began. “All Might has been dead for too many years for a childish girl like yourself to take his place. And the fact that Star mostly stayed in her own state didn’t make the world feel more safe than when she just had New Order. Luckily, I found a better successor. One that is still funny but is much more skilled and focused.”

“…But I’ve been training for this for years.”

“Sorry but it clearly hasn’t been enough. Now I have something called Mirio-Hey! Where are you going?” Just as Nighteye was about to explain himself, Pony ran away.

“Do you think Pony is going to be fine?” Melissa whispered while Anan explained the exercise.

“Geesh Melissa, I know she can be a bit..Pony. But I’m sure she can handle herself for a couple minutes.” Mustard sighed, just as the door opened, revealing a crying Pony with Nighteye not far behind.

An unknown man took Pony somewhere private,

Pony returned crying, clearly having ran,

These events caused Melissa and Mustard to come to..a certain conclusion.

“YOU FUCKING BASTARD!” A furious Melissa screamed as she charged at Nighteye. “Melissa Bate’s physical strength is amplified by a hundr-Mhhhu?” She was about to use her quirk, only for Eraserhead to wrap his scarf around her mouth and outstretched arm.

“What the hell do you think your do..ing?” Just as Eraserhead was going to scold her, Mustard knocked him out with his gas, releasing Melissa, who then hugged Pony.

“Did he hurt you? Did he..did he touch you?” The older sister asked, shielding her little sister from the ‘culprit’…Only for Pony to shake her head.

“…I mean, he still hurt Pony in a way. We can still beat him up.”

“Not now, Mustard. And you can stop with the smoke.” Melissa growled, still holding Pony tightly. Just because she wasn’t assaulted didn’t mean she couldn’t still be hurt.

“Um, Melissa. That’s not mine.” As Mustard pointed this out, everyone’s attention was brought to a seemingly sentient smoke cloud with yellow users.

And apparently, Neito knew him.

“Kurogiri?”

“Correct, young man. But as for now, I’m here to collect the master’s spares.” The villain said before sending out his smoke.

Chapter Text

“Correct, young man, but as of now, I’m here to collect the master’s spares.” Kurogiri said before sending out his smoke.

“Stay back, Kids!” Seeing the upcoming threat, Anan was about to suck up the mist. But while most of the students knew to follow orders, Bakugou was not like the others.

(Like Eraserhead always said).

“Die, you villain!” The explosion student yelled as he flew towards Kurogiri, single handedly stopping the space heroine’s counterattack.

“I have no use for you.” ‘Unfortunately’ for Bakugou, Kurogiri cared not for him. So he waited until the blond stopped zigzagging, creating a portal just as Bakugou was about to hit him, sending the explosion at the students.

Luckily Tetsutetsu’s steel body took the hit, but he clearly wasn’t the only one affected.

“Deku, are you alright?” Ochako asked once she noticed her friend’s horrified face. “Deku, please answer me.”

“We don’t have time for this.” Gran Torino grumbled before firing himself towards Kurogiri. “So that old bastard is still alive?”

“Please reconsider calling the master that.” The villain said matter of factly, trying to get the old man off him, only for Nighteye to join them while holding one of his high density seals in a threatening way.

“Don’t try something, villain. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“Sir Nighteye, All Might’s biggest fan and old sidekick. The master mentioned you. He told me to ask you if you regret not being there to save All Might.” The mist villain said, getting under Nighteye’s skin until he threw his seal. Which Kurogiri used by making a portal behind Torino, resulting in him getting hit by the seals with enough force to get him off the butler. This opening was then quickly used by Kurogiri to get a lot of heroes out of the way. He used Warp gate and reduced the group in front of him to Pony, Mustard, Thirteen, Nighteye and a still unconscious Eraserhead.

“Where have you taken the students?” Thirteen asked, taking a defensive position in front of Pony and Mustard.

“I separated them across the facility, where my associates will kill them.” Kurogiri said coldly, which was undercut Bakugou’s raging while villains screamed for their lives.

“Die, you Damm retards!”

“No! No! Stay awa-AAAAHHH!”

“I hope he doesn’t kill somebody.” Pony mumbled, only for her friend to point out that statistically, Bakugou was going to kill somebody someday.

“Mustard, Pony, focus.” Thirteen ordered, still keeping her gaze on Kurogiri. “And watch out for his mist.” She said, finally being able to use her quirk against Kurogiri.

Unfortunately, Kurogiri had a counter. When Anan began sucking up his mist, he created a portal behind her back, intending to use Black hole on her. Only for the woman’s ward to come to her rescue, getting between her back and the portal before pulling off his mask and blowing out gas to fill the sucking force.

“So Thirteen and that boy are close.” The Nomu mused as he  took a different approach. Before Thirteen could close her caps, Kurogiri moved the portal from behind Thirteen to next to Mustard’s left arm.

“AAAAHHH!” Mustard screamed out in pain as he lower arm was literally ripped off before Thirteen could even react.

“Mustard!” Anan and Pony yelled out once they realized what happened. “Are you alright?”

“My fucking arm got ripped off, Pony! What do you think?!”

“I think we should get this over with. Perhaps the master can give you back your arm.” Kurogiri said, clearly not affected by the boy’s unevenly mutilated arm. But while Mustard and Anan were clearly occupied, Nighteye was ready to fight, only for Pony to step forwards instead.

“Leave him alone, jerk.” She growled before sending off her horns. The Nomu expected to easily warp these back to her, only for Pony to skillfully send the horns back through to the portals, tripping up the Nomu before forcing him to the ground by stabbing her horns into the floor around his arms, legs and neckpiece. “Apologize, now.”

“Now why would I do tha,”-“ Silence. ” By some miracle, Mustard stood up straight, glaring at Kurogiri while speaking with a cold voice. “ I’m not going back to that lab. I’m going to stay here. ” He growled, stepping toward Kurogiri.

“M-master?”

“ No. Mustard. ” The Afo user said matter of factly, slamming his remaining hand onto Kurogiri’s face before taking Warp gate.

Resulting in Kurogiri's mist disappearing, revealing Oboro’s face. Only now his hair was black and his eyes were bright yellow. And just when Eraserhead woke up. And the first thing he saw was his least favorite student glaring murderously at his presumed dead best friend.

Needless to say, the Erasure hero got up immediately, wrapped his scarf around the boy before kicking him in the face.

He did this just as reinforcements arrived, specifically Emi who then ran towards Aizawa to hit him in the face while Nemuri helped the still shaken Anan up from the ground.

“What has gotten into Shota?” The twilight heroine asked before noticing Pony’s captive. “Is that..O-Oboro?”

“I hurt him?” Ignoring the shocked Nemuri, Anan mumbled this with widened eyes.

“Hurt who? Oboro?” 

“Mustard..it was an accident.” As Anan whimpered this, Nemuri looked a bit further than the blankly staring Oboro to see Mustard bleeding out while missing an arm.

Needless to say, an ambulance was called while the other teachers beside Thirteen and Midnight looked for the other students.

“Anan please, we know it was an accident.” Emi sighed, holding onto her new girlfriend’s shaking hands. “Just go inside and see him.”

“It doesn’t matter that I did it by accident. I ripped off his arm.” Said girlfriend groaned, covering her eyes before letting out a whine. “I hurt him.”

“And you think Mustard holds that against you? Come on, Thirteen. This isn’t like you.” Nemuri said a bit more sternly. “Isn’t that right, Eri?” She then asked, only to see Eri glaring at Anan from behind Emi’s leg. “*Sigh* Come on, Eri. Not you too.” 

“I'm not angry at Mama. But big bro has pain.” Eri mumbled, now looking at the hospital floor. “Sorry mama.”

“No no, I get it, Eri. I did hurt him.” Anan sighed.

“Okay, enough. Let’s go inside.” Finally fed up with Anan’s mopping, Nemuri grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the room they were waiting in front.

Mustard’s hospital room.

“Wakey Wakey, Mustard. We’ve come to visit you.” Emi announced her and Eri’s entrance, resulting in the one-armed boy slowly waking up.

“Five more minutes.” He groaned, trying to turn onto his side..only to land on his stump, resulting in immense amounts of pain that quickly woke him up.

“I brought you an apple.” Eri said innocently, holding up a big red apple, which Mustard tried to grab.

With his missing arm.

“…..Can you all come back later?” After putting down his stump, Mustard just laid down again, turning his back towards Eri and the three heroines, all the while ignoring the pain he felt.

“Sorry sweetie, but we have to clear something up.” Nemuri said with a soft tone while putting her hand on his shoulder, only for him to immediately flinch. “Sorry, Mustard.”

“It’s fine…I know Anan didn’t mean it.”

“But?” Emi and Nemuri asked in unison.

“Dunno, it just hurted so much.”

“I know, Mustard. And purely for that, I must apologize.” Anan said with a sad smile before sitting down next to the bed. “It’s going to be alright.”

“Yeah Mustard, we’ll give you a hand.”

“Christ Emi! How could you say tha,”-“Hehe, good one, Emi.” Before Nemuri could scold her girlfriend, Mustard snickered at the terrible pun. 

“See, humor is a great medicine.” Emi said proudly, earning a pinch on the cheek from Nemuri 

“I have to hand it to you, Emi. You’re right.” Mustard snickered, finally turning to his ‘family’. “Comedy can come in handy.”

“Mustard, I love that you’re feeling a bit better, but please stop with the hand puns..They’re getting out of hand.” Anan joked, resulting in Nemuri rolling her eyes with a fond smile.

“Ha! Good one, Mom.” Mustard laughed, only to realize what he said. “You can all leave again.”

“No need to be shy, buddy.”

“Mama Joke is right. You act like mama isn’t our mama.” Eri said, pouting at her older brother.

“…Fine. I have maybe kinda viewed Anan as a mom. Happy now?” Mustard grumbled, immediately getting a tearful hug from Anan.

“More than happy, Mustard. I’m so honored you feel that way.” Anan laughed while hugging the boy. But then, her eyes turned to the boy’s bandaged stump. “Still, I’m sorry about your arm. Can you forgive me, son?” She asked. And after an awkward silence, Mustard spoke up with a soft voice.

“Can we not talk about it, mom.”

“*sigh* Take your time, my boy. Take your time.” Anan sighed back, stroking the boy’s dirty hair.

All the while not touching the remains of his left arm.

Despite being far less injured than her friend, Pony still had to do a checkup. Afterall, every student had to have one after Kurogiri and an army of thugs broke into UA. Luckily, there were really only two injured students. Obviously Mustard, and Ibara, who was sent to the sans place as Bakugou.

It went without saying that her vines did not go well with Bakugou’s raging explosions. Luckily, she wasn’t that injured, just a bit burned and bruised.

But despite this, Cathleen and Melissa were very proud of Pony.

“Congratulations Pony, for defeating your first villain.” Cathleen cheered, pulling her youngest into a hug once she exited the nurse’s office. “I never doubted you.”

“That’s a lie. While you were getting checked by Recovery girl, she pacing around anxiously.” Torino cut in.

“That wasn’t a skill thing. She is going to be a great heroine but she’s still my kid.” The pro heroine pointed out before picking up Melissa as well. “One of my kids.”

“Come on, mom. I didn’t do anything. It was all Pony.” Melissa laughed embarrassed, only for Pony to point something out.

“Technically Mustard beat that guy.” The horned girl mumbled. “I only did something when he got hurt.”

Seeing her adoptive daughter shrink into herself, Cathleen let go of her to look her in the eyes. “Listen up, soldier. Just because Mustard got hurt, doesn’t mean you didn’t do a fantastic job. That villain could have done far worse if you didn’t stop him.”

“But Mustard still got hu”-“If you had intervened soon, you would have gotten in Thirteen’s way. As bad as it sounds, you did the right thing.” As Pony was about to put herself down again, Nighteye of all people showed up, immediately causing Melissa to get between him and Pony.

“What do you want?”

“I want to apologize, in a way.” The foresight hero said. “While I still think you are unfit for One For All, you perhaps have potential.”

“I’m sorry, what is he talking about?” Cathleen asked, sensing something happened between Nighteye and one of her babies.

“Me and Mustard thought he assaulted Pony. But apparently he told her she’s not worthy of becoming your successor.” Melissa filled in.

“I did. I have been training a successor myself. His name is Mirio Togata. He’s even a third year at UA, so you can easily train him.” Nighteye explained before remembering he was supposed to admit he was wrong. “Still, you were the one to defeat the villain before All For One’s skin puppet took his quirk.”

“Okay, okay, let’s backtrack a bit.” Cathleen cut the hero off. “Ignoring the fact that you think it was good that Mustard got injured. You have been training a successor for me, behind my back.”

“Star, we’re running out of time. We needed a new All Might.” Mirai tried, but Cathleen was having none of it.

“And you then went looking for Pony, just to tell her she wasn’t good enough for your standards.”

“Now’s not the time to fight. All for one is clearly still alive and now one of his minions is running around UA.”-“Oh please, Torino. Mustard is no threat. Half the time, he’s too lazy to even swat away the flies above his head.” Once again, Cathleen cut one of All Might’s old acquaintances off. “Any more stuff you two are planning behind our backs.

“…Maybe we should take Pony out of UA and personally train her. Just to be safe with that undead boy around.” The oldest hero suggested. “All Might also perfected One For All somewhere else.”

Hearing this, Cathleen looked at the two men, pinched her eyes and spoke up. “Most Importantly, it’s Pony AND Melissa. I’m not prioritizing one over the other since they will both be symbols of peace. Secondly, they are NOT leaving UA because you two are pissing your pants about their friend.”

“That thing can't be their frie-” “SILENCE!” Cathleen roared like how her former commanding officer did to her when she just joined the military. “We went to UA so my girls could have a vague semblance of a childhood, so they have something to fight for.” She said sternly. “Now that’s that settled, I would like you two to leave.”

Torino and Nighteye wanted to say more. About how they only wanted the best for hero society. But one look from Cathleen made clear that if they went on, things would only get worse. So they left, though not before Nighteye pointed something out.

“I chose Mirio because he could become the next All Might, you chose your daughter for that reason alone.”

“…Perhaps I did.” Cathleen admitted, causing the two heroes to briefly stop. “Maybe her wanting to be a heroine was enough at one point. But you know why I know Pony will be a better user than me?”

“Why, mom?” Melissa asked with a little smirk, knowing it would cheer up her little sister.

“A lot of smaller things. The first time I knew she was the one was when not even my intense military training, which adult men sometimes struggle with, scared her off. But I wasn’t fully certain until the entrance exam.” The American heroine said. “You two only focus on defeating All For One, Pony befriended him, neutralizing him without any bloodshed….Also girls, you can visit Mustard in the hospital today, let him rest.”

“Yes mom.” Her adoptive daughters said in unison.

“Good girls. Now you two,” Cathleen turned back to the two heroes. “You two are dishonorably dismissed.” She said as the two finally took their leave.

All the while her daughters thought two things.

Our mom is the coolest, and our mom is kind of cringey.

Chapter Text

“Surprise kids, a little birdie told me you two liked fried chicken.” Anan teased, putting a big bowl of fried chicken on the table. “Now, I was never going to force you kids to go vegan, but I want you two to at least try it.” 

“So you made fried chicken..but vegan.” Mustard asked, poking the food. “How?”

“Artificial meat is a thing. Just eat it.” Nemuri ordered, taking the first piece before eating it. “It’s actually pretty good.” She said, immediately resulting in Eri scarfing down her dinner with Emi and Mustard doing the same at a normal pace.

“So I’ve been thinking. I think it might be a good idea to have a talk with your class, Mustard.” Emi spoke up in between bites.

“Why?” Mustard asked, struggling to eat his vegan chicken with only one arm.

“Maybe because you kids went through a traumatic experience.” The smiling heroine stated matter of factly, only for Mustard to still look at her cluelessly. “I’m a guidance counselor and the school therapist.”

“I’m going to be honest, I thought Nemuri was just your sugar mommy.”

“What’s a sugar mommy?” Eri asked innocently, having just finished her diner.

“We’ll tell you when you’re older.” Anan, Emi, Mustard and Nemuri said in unison. “Anyhow, I want to see how you and your classmates are handling it. Probably start making psychological profiles for you kids too.”

“Can I skip this?”

“Oh Musty, I’m contemplating booking you double.” Emi said, ruffling the boy’s hair with a smile.

Emi: Good morning, Kodai. 

Ochako: Good morning, Miss Joke…Mustard said you, Midnight and Thirteen are dating. So you know Thirteen’s likes.

Emi: She loves documentaries about anything nature and especially space related things. But enough about my girlfriend. We’re here to talk about you.

Ochako: Oh, what do you want to know?

Emi: The incident yesterday. Did you sleep well last night? No nightmares or anything.

Ochako: Oh that, well I didn’t sleep very well. Though Yui, Yuu and I had a small sister sleepover.

Emi: Yuu? Yuu Kodai?

Ochako: Do you know her?

Emi: She’s a heroine I teamed up with once. She has great potential but,

Ochako: She’s a bitch. 

Emi: You shouldn’t say that about your older sister. But seriously, do you want to talk about the incident?

Ochako: Not really..Though can you please talk with Deku? I think something is wrong with him.

Emi: Don’t worry, I’ll go through all your classmates. Though I advise you to think about yourself as well.

Emi: So Kodai, is there anything you want to talk about?

Yui: No.

Emi: Really? No thought on the recent attack? Or anything else? I’m here to listen.

Yui: …..No..I don’t think so.

Emi: You seem hesitant. If there is anything, just take your time.

Yui: ….You have two girlfriends right?

Emi: Yes, why do you ask?

Yui: How do you know if someone is..the one?

Emi: That’s not something I can really explain. Do you have your eyes on someone?

Yui: No, I’m just..I do want to have someone one day. But my sister is shitty with dating and my egg donor was an abusive whore to my dad. So maybe shitty romance is in my DNA.

Emi: Don’t worry, kid. While I can’t give you the right answer since it’s personal, your family not being great with love doesn’t mean you will. Besides, weren’t you and Ochako stepsisters? So your dad did eventually get it right.

Yui: I guess you’re right..thanks, miss Joke.

Emi: You’re welcome, kid.

Emi: Glad you could make it, Shiozaki.

Ibara: Thank you for offering me this opportunity, Miss Joke.

Emi: It’s nothing, sweetie. I just want to help. So tell me, is there anything you want to talk about?

Ibara: ….*sniff* I think I’m going to hell.

Emi: ….Why would you think that?

Ibara: I’m sinful.

Emi: Go on.

Ibara: I want to be in a relationship with another girl. *sniff* But father said it was sinful.

Emi: Oh boy, sweetie. There is nothing wrong with you liking girls. You shouldn’t suppress yourself because of a vague threat. I have two girlfriends, does that mean I’m automatically bad, or do my actions dictate that?

Ibara: …Your actions I suppose.

Emi: Good. And if your old man gives you trouble again, let me know and I’ll talk with him.

Emi: So Kendo, tell me something about you. That way, I can make a good profile for you to start.

Itsuka: Alright. Let’s see, I like black coffee and motorcycles, I’m a trained martial artist, and my adoptive mom is an actrice. I know that’s not really about me but people usually find it interesting.

Emi: It is a fun fact but I want to know more about you specifically. Did you know anyone before UA?

Itsuka: Actually, I knew Neito and Tetsu from middle school. I kept them in check while they stood up for me.

Emi: Why did they need to stand up for you?

Itsuka: Let’s just say that I was finding myself out. I didn’t feel like I was in the right body. So throughout middle school, I transitioned.

Emi: That’s great to hear, Kendo. As Nemy would say, the youth should explore themselves to reach their fullest lives.

Itsuka: Hihi, she sounds wise.

Emi: You better not tell her. I love her more than anything but she gets smug very easily.

Emi: Morning Pony, you seem less preppy than usual.

Pony: Sorry, Miss.

Emi: You don’t need to apologize, sweetie. Just tell me what’s bothering you.

Pony: …I think I ruined mom’s…friend group.

Emi: What makes you think that?

Pony: They recently had an argument about me. Mom stood up for me and then told them to leave.

Emi: I see. And these friends, are they adults?

Pony: They are, why?

Emi: Well Pony, while your actions have consequences, you are not responsible for a couple adults. Cathleen is mature enough to know who to keep around and who will do you, Melissa and herself more harm.

Pony: ….I see,

Emi: You should probably talk with your mom about this. Because as much as I want to help you, this can only be solved with her help. Besides that, is there anything else I can do for you?

Pony: ….Can you please tell Mustard I’m sorry.

Emi: Sorry for what?

Mustard: Pony and Melissa came to visit me and I told them that arm pun you told me. Pony spent the next three minutes crying while Melissa screamed at me. She asked me what the fucking hell was wrong with me..her words.

Emi: So that’s what Pony meant. Sorry buddy, comedy is subjective. Now onto you.

Mustard: I remember nothing about my youth, my adoptive in-all-but-law mom ripped my arm off by accident, and one of my classmates keeps calling me a name that makes me feel sick. Now can I go please?

Emi: Sorry Musty, therapy has no shortcuts. But because I like you, let’s skip all that for the moment.

Mustard: That’s not professional.

Emi: Mustard, you can write a trilogy of books the size of the Bible on all the trauma I can only imagine you have. Right now, I want to start easy. Anan told me you took Obo..Kurogiri’s quirk. Have you used it yet?

Mustard: ….I took a quirk?

Emi: Yes, you don’t remember? It was after..your arm.

Mustard: I don’t..Where is the guy I took it from.

Emi: *sigh* Kurogiri is currently in custody. Nemuri, Mic and especially Eraserhead visit him a lot.

Mustard: How did Nemuri ever befriend that asshole?

Emi: Believe it or not, Nemuri claims he used to be different.

Mustard: Yeah, yeah, then this Oboro snook died and now he is allowed to be a bitch about it. 

Emi: Let’s just focus. Try to remember something.

Mustard: *sigh* fine.

Mustard closes his eyes before thinking back..and further back..and further. Until he vaguely heard something.

EUGHH-AAAAAAHHHH! Somebody, help me-EUGH!

Emi: Anything?

Mustard: ….Nope.

Emi: Sit down, Melissa. I want to have a little talk with you.

Melissa: Is this because I asked Mustard what the hell was wrong with him? I know I was too harsh but we were worried about him and he made a dumb joke about it.

Emi: While your reaction was perhaps a bit too much, never apologize for not getting comedy. That’s different for everyone. 

Melissa: But why do you want to talk to me then?

Emi: I just want to know how you’re doing. So how are you holding up?

Melissa: I’m doing fine. The villains at the USJ were honestly jokes but I guess it was scary for a bit. Honestly, I was far more worried about Pony.

Emi: You two are close?

Melissa: I guess. We have been through a lot together. Do you have siblings?

Emi: Sweetie, we’re here to talk about you. 

Melissa: Hey, I’m just curious.

Emi: That’s alright. Let’s just start over. 

Melissa: Right, the USJ. Kurogiri moved us all around. I ended up somewhere with Gran Torino. Luckily, we very quickly beat them but I still didn’t know where Pony was. Who knew, maybe she was still with Kurogiri. He seemed like the only real threat. And after that, Gran Torino and Nighteye were bothering Pony. Now she’s,

Emi: Imma stop you right there. Caring for others is part of being a hero or heroine, but until now, you’re talking about Pony’s issues. Not your own.

Melissa: ….I guess you’re right.

Emi: It’s alright, sweetie. Just take your time.

Melissa: …..Can we please do this another time? I don’t know anything to talk about.

Emi: Of course. How about next Monday?

Melissa: Yes please.

Emi: So Monoma, how are you doing?

Neito: I’m doing great. I showed those villains who’s boss.

Emi: I suppose you did….I heard you like to brag to other students that you handled the incident very well. What’s that about?

Neito: It’s just a bit of competition. It’s not my fault the other teams can’t handle it.

Emi: Competition is good…but you told Midoriya he was a spineless overly emotional baby.

Neito: He froze up when the villains showed up.

Emi: You told him this when you first met him.

Neito: He can’t do anything without Kodai..the brunette one.

Emi: And instead of leaving him alone, you insult him. I have a lot of similar complaints.

Neito: I’m just getting everyone fired up.

Emi: Monoma, if you don’t stop antagonizing your classmates, we might have to call your parents.

Neito: N-no! I mean, my mom is already busy enough.

Emi: Then you better stop this. Kendo spoke highly about you, and I saw you and the Bate’s getting alone. I know you are a good kid, but it’s on you to make others see that.

Neito: I see..Thank you, Miss Joke.

Emi: You’re welcome. And if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.

Izuku: Can I have your autograph?

Emi: Ha! Of course, buddy. But firstly, let’s have a little talk. Believe it or not, you got mentioned a lot.

Izuku: R-really? But why? Did I do something wrong?

Emi: No, of course not. 

Izuku: *pew* I was a bit scared I did something wrong.

Emi: You didn’t, though it has been brought to my attention that you froze up at the USJ. Do you want to talk about that?

Izuku: I-it was nothing. I..Kacchan just startled me. I was just being difficult.

Emi: Kacchan? Do you mean Bakugou?

Izuku: Kacchan is a nickname I gave him.

Emi: …..So I’m going to ask you to explain your and Bakugou’s relationship. And I need you to be honest.

Izuku: Okay, but why?

Emi: I have..opinions about that boy. And I want to see if they are true. If so, it’s easier to help you become less nervous.

Izuku: I see. Well our moms were best friends so we knew each other from birth. We played a lot..until he suddenly became more harsh. We looked up to All Might and wanted to be heroes, but Kacchan suddenly had to be the number one. I mean, he was always very competitive but never like this.

Emi: I see. Perhaps I would have a talk with him too. But please, go on.

Izuku: Right. So he got increasingly more..determined. He especially didn’t like it when I suggested we go to UA together.

Emi: You wanted to team up with him?

Izuku: I didn’t know anyone. But the first time I asked him, he showed me how weak I was and the second time, Ochako and Yui took me in.

Emi: If you don’t mind me asking, what do you mean by Bakugou showing you you’re weak?

Izuku: We um, sparred.

Emi: You sparred, or did Bakugou just attack you.

Izuku: ….He really wants to be number one.

Emi: Then trust my words, he has a long, long way to go. Now if you don’t mind, I would like to see you every week at least twice.

Emi: So Tetsutetsu, is something bothering you?

Tetsutetsu: No, miss.

Emi: Nothing at all? Not even your..unique name?

Tetsutetsu: Not really. My dad took my mom’s last name, and then they named me after my dad’s dad. So Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu.

Emi: …Alright. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.

Emi: Tokage,

Setsuna: Setsuna, please call me Setsuna.

Emi: Alright then. Setsuna, let’s talk.

Setsuna: Alright, let’s gossip.

Emi: Nice try, young lady. We’re here to talk about the incident and make a psychological profile of you.

Setsuna: Villains entered the school, I was moved away and fought some baddies. I guess Ripper losing an arm was kinda yikes but he seemed fine.

Emi: You mean Mustard?

Setsuna: His name is Ripper.

Emi: Okay, Okay, I assume you two know each other.

Setsuna: ….I don’t know. It’s almost like he doesn’t remember me anymore.

Emi: Mustard doesn’t remember much from before something happened to him. Please don’t take it personally.

Setsuna: Something? Doesn’t he even remember what happened to him?

Emi: We actually don’t know. According to Anan, he knows more than he’s letting on. I think he’s suppressing it. 

Setsuna: ….We were friends, lived in a small village. A man attacked our village and took half of the inhabitants..the other half was killed.

Emi: Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. 

Setsuna: I-it’s fine, I survived and well..well..w-well,

Emi: Hey, it’s alright. Please don’t force yourself. You’re safe at UA.

Setsuna: *sniff* You’re right. Can we please continue another day?

Emi: Of course, I’ll make an appointment.

Emi: Sit down, Bakugou.

Katsuki: I don’t have time for this.

Emi: Sit. Your. Ass. Down.

Katsuki: ….Fine. What do you want?

Emi: To start, for you to drop the attitude. Now I’m going to ask you a couple questions and you’re going to answer.

Katsuki: Aren’t you supposed to ask me how I feel and shit?

Emi: Perhaps, but that will just waste both our time with you. Now first question, what’s your opinion on your classmates.

Katsuki: Cheeks is Deku’s whore, Corpse hurts to look at, Salad slut has maybe half a brain and Deku is a pest.

Emi: …..And the rest?

Katsuki: Extras.

Emi: ….Why did you jump the villain at the USJ, getting in the way of Thirteen?

Katsuki: I could have beat him.

Emi: Yet you didn’t. Instead I almost killed a couple thugs and injured Ibara.

Katsuki: She was in my way.

Emi: Then maybe open your eyes wider than a glare and pay attention to your surroundings. Now I’ve heard a lot about you and Midoriya, all of it coming down to you attacking him physically and verbally for no clear reason. Maybe you can help me.

Katsuki: *Tsk* Deku is just a useless weakling. I’m just putting him in his place.

Emi: ….Bakugou, for both our sakes, drop the bad boy act and answer the questions.

Katsuki: You think I’m fake?!

Emi: I think you’re a threat to our society. You didn’t even make it through all my questions. So I’m going to move to the last couple. What is your home situation like?

Katsuki: Me and the old hag yell at each other while my old man tries to stop us. He’s a weakling too so I don’t have to listen to him.

Emi: Says who?

Katsuki: My grandma.

Emi: *sigh* Of course. Bakugou, I’m going to be honest with you.

Katsuki: I’m great. I already know that.

Emi: You’re a bully, bordering on an actual villain, that only gets away with this because your enabling grandma bails you out. It happened when you tried to kill Midoriya and I just know that it will happen again. All I can do is ask you to think about this.

Katsuki: …..

Emi: I take that as a maybe. You may leave. And until you have a good answer, don’t bother coming back, you spoiled punk.

“I wasn’t very professional today.” Emi mumbled, taking off her sweater to replace it with a tank top.

“Because you prioritized Mustard or something else?” Nemuri asked, looking for her sleeping mask, which Anan soon handed her.

“I ripped hard into Bakugou..Also Mustard’s name is apparently Ripper.”

“Please don’t call him that. He gets really upset.” Anan pointed out, putting on her pajamas.

“Bummer, I actually liked that name.” Joke mumbled. “Anyhow, that Bakugou..god, that boy is not alright. And I don’t know if it’s because of his grandma or if he has reached the point where his common sense should have kicked in.”

“Now, now, darling. Let’s not think about that right now. You’re cute as a button but you too need your beauty sleep.” Nemuri said, pulling Emi towards the bed. “You get to be in the middle.” Emi quickly laid down, with Anan and Nemuri cuddling her on both sides. 

The perfect way to end a busy, stressful day.

Chapter Text

“He doesn’t look so well.” Tetsutetsu mumbled as he and the rest of his classmates watched Eraserhead enter the classroom.

“When does he look well? He’s a sad, smelly, ugly, dickless old man who desperately wants to fuck a corpse.” 

“Did he bully you again, Mustard?” Pony asked with a teasing tone.

“Mister Aizawa, you don’t look so well.” Izuku said, genuinely concerned for his teacher, even if said teacher probably couldn’t care less about him.

“…I’m fine, Midoriya. Just ignore it.” The teacher clearly tried to not growl at Izuku, though it just made him look and sound awkward. “Let’s just get started. As you all know, the sports festival is tomorrow.”

“What?!” As soon as the entire class asked this in confusion, Eraserhead knew he forgot something important. He told Shinso about the festival, and even convinced Nezu to let Hitoshi try to participate (a lot of bribes, favors and promises he knew he could fulfill), but he clearly forgot to tell his actual students. To make this worse, three of them were kids of his colleagues. He could say Mustard just wasn’t paying attention and that Pony just couldn’t follow what he said, but Melissa was an attentive girl. And if she told Star&Stripes, she would tell Nezu. 

“Alright, calm down. The sports festival is a competition between you and your classmates to see who has the greatest potential.” Eraserhead explained quickly so none of the kids could tell their families they didn’t know about tomorrow.

“So it’s just us twelve fighting each other?” Itsuka asked, because much to Aizawa’s dismay, students tend to do that.

“Not fully, it’s indeed all of you against each other, but there will be a special guest participating as well.” Eraserhead said matter of factly, only for Pony to yell through the class.

“What? Against each other?!” The horned girl asked in shock, causing her homeroom teacher to smirk.

“Yes Bate, I told you heroism isn’t about making friends. So get ready fledglings. Because tomorrow, it’s everyone for themselves.”

“Pony, stop pouting. If you are being a sore loser, we’re not playing monopoly anymore.” Cathleen said sternly at the weekly game night.

“I’m not a sore loser. I’m sad Imma have to break Melissa’s nose and maybe kill Mustard.” Pony mumbled, fully serious.

“Hey! Maybe I’ll kill Mustard.” Melissa pointed out.

“Fuck you bitches, if someone’s killing me, it’s me!” And Mustard as also there.

“Let’s not kill each other at the sports festival.” Hizashi, who had invited himself, tried to make sure nobody died. Because UA probably couldn’t handle a lawsuit.

“Mic is right. I know you two want to be a great team, but some friendly competition won’t hurt.” Cathleen said ‘wisely’. “You can’t walk away from something you don’t like so you might as well make the best of it.”

“Haven’t you been running away from meeting with Baku-jerk’s granny?” Pony asked smugly.

“Is this perhaps because of a certain gun-wielding heroine?” Nemuri asked, also smug. “How old are you, Cathy? I know keeping your youth is important but this might be a bit too extreme.”

“Nemuri, the only reason you, Emi and Anan got together was because Mustard and Eri got tired of your pining.” Mic pointed out, resulting in him, Mustard and Pony laughing while Cathleen and Nemuri looked slightly embarrassed.

Melissa meanwhile looked uncomfortable.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have awful news.” It was the day of the sports festival when Mustard said this. “I’ve proof that Eraserhead has in fact fucked some poor woman.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Look at that new guy, Kendo.” Mustard ordered while pointing at Shinso. “That’s clearly his hellspawn.”

“Come on, Musty. Just because he looks a bit like our dear teacher doesn’t mean they’re related.” Setsuna pointed out, ruffling the shorter boy’s haír. But at the same time, Shinso came their way, having apparently heard the first years.

“Do you really think I’m mister Aizawa’s son? How small minded are you?” The purple haired boy asked mockingly.

“Well, who are you then?” Yui asked, clearly unimpressed by the new guy.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m not here to socialize with you spoiled brats.” Hitoshi said, still with a mocking tone, before walking away.

“….All in favor of taking that guy down?” Neito asked after a couple seconds of awkwardness.

It isn’t a good sign when even Bakugou joins in on their group effort.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the annual first year sports festival. I’m your host, Present Mic and with me is the kid’s homeroom teacher Eraserhead! ” Mic clearly had enough enthusiasm for two, which went well with Eraserhead’s passing for barely half a person. “ ….So, are there any kids we should look out for, Eraser?” At this point, the DJ was just trying to get something out of his friend, which luckily worked this time.

“Bakugou is probably the most promising of my students. Besides him, I know Shinso has a lot of potential.”

“….What?” As the homeroom teacher said this, the first years all turned to a confused Mustard.

“Aren’t you going to talk back to him?”

“I wish I could, Tetsu. But I promised mom, Nemuri and Emi I would be nice to Eraserhead.”

“Awe, you call Thirteen your mom.” Ochako gushed because..well it’s about Thirteen.

“I might be missing an arm but I still have a heart…a tiny black one, but it’s probably there.”

“You have a heart, I didn’t know that?” Hitoshi asked with a mocking tone. “I thought you were just a piece of shit.”

“How original, Purple rain. What made you think that?” Neito asked with a smirk.

“Mister Aizawa told me about him, as well as all of you.”

“Eraserhead told you about us….Like what he knows about us?” Neito asked..weirdly with a smirk.

“Yes. So I advise you spoiled brats to stay out of my way.” As Shinso walked away, Neito, Melissa, Ochako, Mustard, Yui, Katsuki, Tetsutetsu and Setsuna turned to each other will smirking.

Because Eraserhead told his pupil about them..while never fully paying attention to them.

The pre games weren’t that entertaining since besides the twelve hero students and Shinso, the other participants were business and support kids.

“Hey Zuzu!” 

And apparently one of them knew Izuku. A girl with pink dreadlocks and funny goggles.

“O-oh, h-hey H-Hatsume,” the greenette greeted awkwardly, not that it seemed to bother Hatsume.

“See! I told you you could get into UA. Though why didn’t you tell me?” Mei asked as she got in Izuku’s flustered face.

“I-it slipped my mind. S-sorry.” Izuku stuttered, clearly uncomfortable with Mei being this close to him.

“Come on, Zuku. Stop with the apologies. It’s all fine.” The girl reassured him, briefly turning to Bakugou to give him the finger, before  her attention went back to Izuku. “Anyhow, I have to prepare my babies. See ya, Zu!” 

And just like that, she ran away.

“I thought you had no friends prior to UA.” Neito said dryly, slightly mocking even. But then, Izuku just looked at his feet with tears in the corner of his eyes.

“I..don’t want to talk about it.”

“I'm not doubting anyone but isn’t it a bit counterproductive to focus the curriculum on teamwork and then have the sports festival be a free for all?” Cathleen asked as she walked through the halls of the stadium with Nemuri.

“I suppose. But like you said yesterday, a bit of friendly competition won’t hurt.” The twilight heroine sighed. “Besides, the commission switches gimmicks every couple years.”

“Why?”

“What can I say, they never were able to fill the power vacuum that All Might left behind. And I wasn’t helping that a lot of heroes quit not long after.” Midnight said before remembering something. “Hey, can I ask you something? It’s for Anan.”

“Sure, what does little Anan want to know?…Also yes, I am the oldest teacher.”

“Aren’t you thirty?”

“I’m forty-one.”

“….Okay, after Anan’s question, you have to tell me how you look so great.” Midnight said in shock. “But Anan, as well as me and Emi, want to know how”-“You three want to know how to be parents.” Cathleen cut her off. “In that case, I can’t help you. If I’m being honest, I had no idea when I took in Pony and Melissa. To make it more difficult, Mustard and Eri aren’t Pony and Melissa.”

“I get that. It’s just, we want them to be happy. And with Eri not wanting to talk about her past and Mustard’s whole quirk thing, it’s not always as easy as we hoped.” Midnight admitted awkwardly, only for Cathleen to ruffle her hair.

“Well from one mom to another, I think you, Anan and Emi are doing fine.” Cathleen admitted smugly..only for that smugness to disappear once she saw someone walking through the halls.

Kaina Tsutsumi aka Lady Nagant aka the commission’s spy who was offered the be security.

Now it was Midnight’s turn to look smug.

Pony was ready for this. She was going to fight her classmates, kick Mustard’s ass and then have the final match against Melissa.

Then the bracket was shown. 

• Mei Hatsume vs Blace Stolder
• Izuku Midoriya vs Neito Monoma
• Ochako Kodai vs Katsuki Bakugou 
• Yui Kodai vs Hitoshi Shinso 
• Chase Stolder vs Ibara Shiozaki 
• Itsuka Kendo vs Setsuna Tokage
• Mustard Kurose vs Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu
• Pony Bate vs Melissa Bate

Who will win this circus?

Chapter Text

Unfortunately, this story has stopped. It had nothing to do with quality or that I didn’t like it, the opposite actually, but this is a reboot of a story of mine I really liked. At some point, trying to perfect that story became a bit tiring.

Really, I just want to leave well enough alone. I might go back to Texas Smash and fix small things but that’s neither here nor there. Meanwhile I have like four stories still ongoing and three of those are still in their early stages. And that’s not to mention all the one shots I’m working on.

In short, I want to work on other stories not about AfoMustard and OfaPony. I really enjoyed these remakes but I was trying to make it a perfect story (hence the many redoes), which it just isn’t. It’s a fun ‘what if’ story about two characters canon couldn’t give less of a crap about.

Though parts of this did get repurposed. From the top of my head,

• Ochako, Yui and Yuu being sisters: the heroine, mafia heiress, housewife and little girl (Fem!Izuochahimi family with daughter Eri)
• Setsuno’s subplot, Cathleen being Pony’s mom, IbaMei and I can’t explain why but a bit of the feeling of this story: Himiko and Mickey vs the world.

Other stuff like StarXNagant or NemuriXEmiXAnan will probably get their own one-shots..maybe the same one. The former couple will probably still be with Pony and Melissa, while the latter is without Mustard and Eri. Instead it’s with the class 1A girls.

I guess apologizes  for stringing some of you along, but if you liked this…I dunno, just read Texas Smash: Pony and Dokuhana. It’s probably the best, completed version of this idea you’re going to get. Be warned though, the start is a bit slow.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37241014/chapters/92915908

For the one person in the world actually interested in reading where this idea came from.