Work Text:
"You look ridiculous."
"Shut your mouth. I look dapper and you know it."
"Dapper? It's a bartender's uniform, not a three piece suit." After a long day of work, Shizuo had come home to this. Izaya, in his bedroom, twirling in front of the full length mirror and checking out his own ass. An ass that was currently covered by familiar black slacks. And sure enough, the rest of him was wearing a crisp white button down, a black vest, and a bowtie to match that rested in the hollow of his throat. Shizuo's eye ticked; looking at it closer, it all fit a little too well to be taken directly from his closet, like he'd assumed. "Should I even ask?"
"Yes, you should. I had this tailored specifically for today."
"And what's today?" He was a little afraid of the answer.
"The day we play dress up." Izaya saw that Shizuo was unamused, so he switched tactics. "The day we roleplay." Now that got a mildly interested raise of an eyebrow. "The day you get to fuck me in a bartender's outfit." Izaya smirked at the shifting of Shizuo's legs; checkmate. "But!"
He growled. There was always a but with this snake, especially when sex was dangled before him. "This isn't a one-way street, Shizu-chan. I have something for you to wear, too!"
Izaya went over to the bed, where a few articles of clothing were laid out. He brandished them one by one with a proud smile on his face. First, a dark grey pair of skinny jeans. Second, a black, short sleeved v-neck. Lastly, and whipped out with the most flare, was the infamous, fur-lined hooded coat. It kind of sickened him how Izaya was petting the sleeve.
"Let me guess, you--"
"Correct. Tailored to fit your giant proportions." Izaya suddenly wore a baleful grin that was juxtaposed with the relaxed set of his shoulders. Shizuo was certain he did it just to unnerve him. He could never call him on it, though. Fucker was as slippery as a fish in water.
"Now strip, handsome." The coat was promptly thrown in his face. The hood caught on his skull, masking his frown and narrowed eyes. This had better be worth it.
"Mind giving me a little privacy?" Shizuo said while loosening his bowtie and unbuttoning his cuffs.
Izaya outright laughed, but slowed down to a snicker at the murderous glare he received. "Oh, I'm sorry, that wasn't a joke?"
Shizuo could feel his blood start to hiss and pop in a slow boil. "This is my house, you know." His response only warranted a scoff and an eye roll.
"And I paid to have these clothes painstakingly tailored for a special night just for the two of us, so you're going to shut up and do what I say, aren't you?" Izaya had moved in close to breathe his words out in a hot whisper against Shizuo's lips, a sly look in his eyes as he watched pupils dilate to completely black out brown irises. He slid a hand into the lapel of Shizuo's vest, and let his hand trail upwards to drag fingernails along a jumping pulse. Shizuo's mouth dropped open around a gasp, and he barely had time to close it before Izaya was four steps back again. "Chop chop!"
Shizuo grunted and muttered explicit curses under his breath, but otherwise complied. His vest was shirked and shirt unbuttoned, and he let it gravity pull it down his arms. He met Izaya's gaze with every piece of clothing that fell, sparking the tension between them until it fizzled along their skin like static. He grinned with a show of teeth when Izaya's eyes were drawn to the bulge of his cock apparent through his briefs, as he stepped out of the pants around his ankles. Shizuo stood there, hip cocked and waiting while Izaya continued to leer at him like he was a particularly delicious spread of meat. "So you gonna hand me those clothes, or what?"
Izaya raked his eyes along naked skin, finally meeting Shizuo's stare, and let out a wounded sigh. "I guess I have to now, don't I." He tossed the pants at him, which Shizuo managed to catch that time. He started to wriggle into them, cursing again because jeez, Izaya didn't wear his pants this tight did he? Or did the asshole tailor them tighter on purpose? Shizuo saw a sadistic gleam when he lifted his head from the slow shimmy of the skinny jeans. Of course he did, that louse.
He had to stop halfway through when he realized that when he did get the jeans up to his hips, there was no way in hell they would button while he was still wearing underwear. "Cut me out." He gritted through his teeth, and clenched his jaw harder when he saw that look on Izaya's face, like he'd anticipated this.
"With pleasure." Izaya snaked the tip of his procured blade under the elastic band startlingly close to his groin, and made a slow slice until it went straight through to the other end. He did the same with the other leg hole, and quickly grabbed onto the gaping front before Shizuo could. He whipped the tattered briefs out from between his legs, gratified in the ensuing yelp and eyes locked to the way it made Shizuo's cock bounce and sway with the motion.
"You're free to continue." Izaya smiled pleasantly at the disgruntled expression aimed at him. He adjusted his own swelling cock inside his slacks while watching Shizuo struggle with the jeans, each movement making his freed cock and balls jump in return. He'd need to pay that tailor a little extra the next time he needed his services.
Shizuo rumbled a sigh of relief when he finally got the damned jeans to slide over his hips. It was satisfaction if he ever knew it. The pants were still obscenely low, the v of his hips and trail of pubic hair on display. "Whatever. Just give me the shirt and coat."
Shizuo tugged the shirt, which was blissfully snug but not too snug, over his head and turned for the coat. Izaya handed it over like it was a trophy he'd earned. What a freak.
He looked at himself in the mirror. He had to admit, Izaya's clothes didn't look half bad on himself. Nor could he deny that Izaya did look a little dapper in his own. A closed flick blade was suddenly thrown at him, and when he looked over at Izaya, he was holding what appeared to be a plastic version of a bent street sign. He encroached on Shizuo menacingly, and said, "Time to run, Shizu-chan."
"What?" But stepped back out of the way when the street sign tried to split his head in half. He wasn't actually sure if that thing was fake or not. "The hell, Izaya!?"
"I did mention some roleplay, didn't I?" Izaya giggled, and started to chase Shizuo throughout his apartment.
"I will kill you for this!" Shizuo shouted over his shoulder, waving the closed knife in his hand threateningly.
"That's my line, SHIZUUUUUOOOOO!"
And so they ran in a reverse rendition of their usual routine, but ended it in much the same way it normally did. In a mass of sweaty, grasping limbs with a torn black vest and ripped fur-lined coat.
END