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"Neeee~, Shizu-Shizu!"
Not listening. Nope. Just keep walking.
"Shizu-Shizu! Shizu-Shizu!"
Don't look over, don't look over...
"Shizu shizu shizu shizu shizu shizu shizu shi-"
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!?" Shizuo finally turned on his heel to face Erika's nagging. He swore, every time he had to pass by that stupid parked van, he always got dragged in to some sort of twisted conversation hosted by Erika and Walker. She even tried to latch onto him one time when he was working, chasing some scumbag! God, fujoshis were the worst.
"Take a look at this puppy, Shizu-Shizu!" Eriki completely ignored her near brush with death and shoved an opened manga in his face. He looked down into the pages, a glossy image of a prepubescent catboy -or was it a girl? he honestly couldn't tell- staring up at him with enormous, glistening eyes. Walker bobbed his head from behind Erika's shoulder, smiling that wide, dumb smile.
Shizuo tried to make a hasty exit. "Wow, uh, yeah. Good job." He cringed at the words even as they came out of his mouth, but buried them in the drawer he kept in his mind for mouth diarrhea, and turned back around to cross the street before Erika had snagged him.
No dice. Walker suddenly grabbed hold of the back of his vest, tugging him backwards. Shizuo could've easily escaped, but Walker's actions confused him. Erika had some ulterior motive, and somehow she'd gotten Walker in on it. And judging on where these conversations usually ended up, he couldn't guess how; Walker didn't even like yaoi!
He narrowed his eyes, trying to figure it out. Erika was one sneaky girl. Maybe she had dirt on Walker to make him cooperate with her scheme. Shizuo sighed, figuring he might as well hear her out, and getting tired of the mental run around. Mind games weren't his forte, anyway. Leave that shit to Izaya.
"What exactly is so important, now?" He shrugged off Walker's grip, shifting to look directly into the belly of the beast. Erika's eyes shined with an eerie light, still holding out the manga as if she'd never moved. Which she probably hadn't. Stubborn otaku.
"Isn't he soooo cute, Shizu?" She stepped closer, and he nearly missed Walker's cringe. He suddenly felt uneasy, on top of uncomfortable.
"So it's a he?"
Erika's cheeks puffed out in mock indignation. "He is a he, not an it! I don't know why you men can never tell." Shizuo shared a brief look with Walker; he looked to be enjoying this as much as he was. His restrained silence was odd; Walker would usually burst out with an argument at this point. If this were any other situation, at least. Shizuo gazed back at Erika's gleaming eyes. More of her scheming, he bet.
Erika shook off the minor injustice, seeming to get back on track. Whatever that could be. "Look at his pooly eyes, his pink cheeks, his bashful smile, his plump lips! And, and! The piece de resistance, his kitty ears and tail!" Her voice had become increasingly hysterical as she spoke, and she spun around in a little circle of glee at the end of her speech. Shizuo's stomach churned with nausea.
He didn't know how to respond; thankfully, he didn't have to. It was Walker who brought her down from her inexplicable high, placing a steadying hand on her shoulder while giving her a significant look that he couldn't decipher. Erika abruptly cleared her throat, but seemed no less enthused. "What do you think about neko's, Shizu?" Her eyes were suddenly probing in a way her previous questioning wasn't.
"Ah, you mean people with animal ears and stuff, right?" Forgive him for not being debriefed on the otaku lingo.
"Yeah, basically. A neko is a person with ears and tail specific to felines. That could be due to all different sorts of reasons. For instance, this boy is an artificial human, made to look like us but with added animalist details. Or the plot could be a bit more fantasy than sci-fi; this boy could just be a creature from another realm, sent to our plane on a mission. Or! The ears and tail could be fakes, meant to be visually pleasing." Erika's smile took on a sly edge. "Or sexually, for that matter."
Shizuo's face, which had become gaunt during the winded explanation, turned affronted, fast. "Who would be into that sort of thing? You think I'm some kind of pervert?"
Erika sighed, as if dealing with a thick headed child. "Kinks aren't meant to be shamed, Shizu-Shizu. Everyone's got them; even you. And have you even thought about your own? Maybe you would enjoy someone with kitty ears and a tail, but you just don't know it."
"I think I know what gets me off, thanks." Shizuo's default, rigid scowl was settled in place. "Do you stop everyone in the street to lecture them about things they don't even wanna hear?"
Erika tilted her head innocently; he didn't buy it for a second. "Only to the people that need to hear it." Shizuo scoffed, once and for all fed up with her sickening brand of insight. He started to leave, but was grabbed once again by Walker, as unusually silent as ever.
"I'm sorry, Shizu. I didn't mean to upset you. I really just wanted to give you this gift. I missed your last birthday, didn't I?" It was true, she did. But that had been three months ago. Why give him a gift now, of all times? Erika smiled serenely, giving nothing away. Walker went to the parked van, sliding open the door and reaching inside for a plainly wrapped box.
He walked over, looking slightly apprehensive, but brandishing the gift all the same. Shizuo took it, and childishly shook the package near his ear to hear inside. A couple things rattled around, but otherwise, he was in the dark. Erika looked excited. "Open it now, please? I'm already late enough." She managed to tack on a sheepish grin, and it eased his anger somewhat. Oh, what the hell.
Shizuo unraveled the one adornment, a silky black ribbon tied in a neat bow, and lifted the lid to peer inside.
On the first layer of sheet paper, were two startlingly realistic cat ears. The kind that could be clipped in place separately, unhindered by a headband. They were black, soft with fake fur, with a pink inner shell. They were nice, no doubt, but they brought that unease crawling back to clog his throat. He lifted them out of the box, and went to reach inside for whatever was underneath the crinkly paper the ears had rested on.
What he saw shook him all over. It was a... god, he couldn't begin to describe it. At first glance, it appeared to be just a regular cat tail, maybe something you could clip on, like the ears. But as he grasped it, he saw what would actually connect it to a person's body. The base of the tail sprouted from an anal plug, as black as the tail but thicker in girth, and tapered toward the end. Or was it the beginning? Shizuo's faced burned in mortification, and something else he couldn't readily identify.
And wouldn't you know it, just as he was holding both cat ears and butt plug in plain view, the one person to show up that could've possibly made this disastrous series of events even worse, turned a corner at that exact moment.
Izaya Orihara whistled a lackadaisical tune as he strolled onto the street, and started to say, "Erika, this had better be as important as you-" His tongue became deadweight once he caught sight of the precarious position Shizuo was in, and for the first time in all the years he had known him, Izaya was genuinely speechless. But not for long.
His pace noticeably quickened, walking closer and closer to where Shizuo was acting the part of a marble statue. Izaya stopped two feet away, pushing past Erika and Walker to tread a dangerous line, one he was normally familiar with, but this time, he could tell their line bore a different kind of edge, one that would catalyze if he dared cross it. Which, of course, he did.
Izaya took a step closer, and reached to grasp the cat tail from Shizuo's gnarled grip. There was a silence thick enough to suffocate each and every one of them, as Izaya trailed his fingertips against the smooth texture of the tail, and further to the plug, which he could feel was cold metal. The heavy weight of it in his palm triggered a carnal reaction within his body, nerves sizzling and synapses firing to crackle along his skin. He glanced up to view Shizuo's flaring nostrils and brown eyes dark with dilated pupils.
Shizuo spoke, low baritone cracking the air like a whip. "Give it back."
Izaya smirked, tightening his fingers on the plug. "If you want it, then take it."
Shizuo snarled, and placed the cat ears still in his hand back into the box, closing the lid with shaking fingers. It was a slow movement that preempted the inevitable chase. Izaya feinted to the right, and took off in the opening he created. He waved the tail behind him like a flag, a silent "catch me if you can".
Walker sighed once he felt he could safely breathe again. He shot a cursory look at Erika's giddy expression, and spoke for the first time since Shizuo had walked unknowingly into their trap. "You know, you're gonna get yourself killed one of these days."
Erika nudged him in the side with her elbow, and said, "Aw, you worried about me?"
Walker frowned. "Someone's got to."
She giggled airily. "But look how happy they are! We've done a good thing today." She gestured to the far off howling and destruction, a dreamy glaze in her eyes.
"Man..." He shook his head, knowing there was no point in trying to talk sense.
He wasn't looking forward to the knock on his door when Shizuo figured out he'd been duped. He hoped Erika's gift entertained him long enough for him to skip town.
END