Chapter Text
An uncomfortable crawling feeling crept up Nishimura Riki’s spine as he stared at the empty hospital room. The bed was made, the starched linen sheets stretched evenly over the four corners of the mattress. The hospital pyjamas were folded in a precise way that implied a nurse had performed the job, and not a clumsy eighteen year old boy. Most importantly, there was no sign of Kim Sunoo’s Hello Kitty plushy that accompanied him through the past week in the hospital room. It all pointed towards one fact - Sunoo was not here.
Riki had come armed with a bouquet of sunflowers and a basket of Japanese peaches, which he knew Sunoo would love. His hyung was always so easily pleased. He wanted to apologise for their less than happy parting yesterday, for his harsh words and raw anger that Sunoo had to bear the brunt of.
Every time he closed his eyes, the image of Sunoo crying burnt through his eyelids, making his heart throb uncontrollably. At the entrance of the hospital, Sunoo had tried to pull at Riki’s sleeve, begging him not to go. His almond-shaped eyes were filled with tears that threatened to spill over the edge and stain his porcelain cheeks. Even through the turbulent emotions that ran through his body, Riki felt a distinct pang in his heart. This was his Sunoo, the boy he had unknowingly grown to love. Little by little, Sunoo had carved out a space just for himself in the deepest crevice of Riki’s heart.
‘Riki, let me explain!’ He had sobbed desperately, voice cracking from the emotion. The voice inside Riki’s head screamed at him to turn around, to bring Sunoo into his embrace and kiss away his tears. Logically, Riki knew better. He needed to get away from Sunoo for a while, from the person who had betrayed him and nearly put his family in jeopardy. The person he both loved and hated.
Riki pried Sunoo's fingers off the sleeve of his cashmere coat, and and got into the backseat of the black Maybach that had been waiting metres away. As the car pulled away, Riki watched Sunoo through the driver's front mirror. His petite frame clothed in only the thin hospital gown looked frail, and it seemed that a strong gust of wind would be enough to whisk him away. Sunoo limped down the hospital steps, vainly trying to go after the car. He uselessly dragged his IV cart with him, but it took a tumble down the short steps. The last image Riki saw of Sunoo before the car drove away completely was him collapsed on the hospital steps. Riki closed his eyes, willing the image to disappear but a stray tear slipped down his face.
Riki had spent that night tossing and turning, not accustomed to falling asleep without Sunoo’s steady puffs to lull him into dreamland. Countless thoughts ran through his head. Of Sunoo’s bright smile that could rival the sun, of Sunoo’s sweet scent that reminded him of the warm milk and honey he drank before bedtime when he was younger, of the feeing of having Sunoo securely wrapped in his arms with no space between their bodies - as if their two souls were trying to melt into one.
He knew that Sunoo had not crashed into his life serendipitously, that behind their every sweet interaction, there was a motive. The betrayal burnt Riki, but not more than the feeling of fear that filled every inch of his being when he thought of a life without his sunshine. Whatever the Yang family offered Sunoo, he would give Sunoo better and more. Riki knew for a fact his feelings were not unrequited. What happened between him and Sunoo was raw and real. He refused to believe that his Sunoo did not love him back.
He had already thought about it. Even if Sunoo was lying to him, even if the only reason Sunoo approached him, and befriended him was because of his money, he was alright with that. It didn’t matter that his parents, his friends and the echelons of Seoul high society thought that Sunoo was a gold-digging lowlife with the ulterior motive of seducing the heir of the Nishimura family.
What he had done yesterday had already hurt Sunoo. His mother and Kazuha’s callous words, his hasty abandonment, and his refusal to hear Sunoo’s pleas to just listen- if Sunoo’s feelings for Riki’s were even a fraction of what Riki felt for him, it must have hurt. In a sort of cruel, vindictive way, Riki wanted to know that he could make Sunoo hurt too, that things between them could be even.
Riki knew it in his heart. He could not live without his boy. If Sunoo was a poison, Riki was willing to swallow every last drop of him, and let his blood be tainted. When he reached his eventual, painful last breath, he wanted his last words to be Sunoo’s name. Kim Sunoo was part of Nishimura Riki, and that was as indisputable as the fact that the sun rises in the East every morning come.
But now, Riki was left all alone in an empty hospital room. Panic brewed in him as he inhaled the smell of clean linen and sterile solution. The room had been aired out, and gone was Sunoo's familiar scent and presence. He was gone. His Kim Sunoo was gone. Gone, gone and gone.