Work Text:
"I wasn't aware you like to draw." Xiao stiffened. He heard Venti approach him, could hear the subtle crunch of fallen leaves beneath his feet, but he didn't expect those those words.
"What?" He turned around, facing his boyfriend who had his sketchbook in his hand, only the first 2 pages were open, and he didn't seem to be making a move to turn the page. It was Xiao's sketchbook, most definitely, black covers and small scratches here and there, the upper right corner slightly bent outward.
"Ich sagte, I never knew you were the artistic type." A gentle smile spread across Venti's lips. "I told you that everyone can find themselves in art, no matter the form." He looked up at Xiao, but still didn't try and offer the notebook back, instead he brought it closer to him, like he knew that would discourage Xiao from attempting to make a move to grab it out of Venti's hand.
Xiao only hummed in response, setting his weapon on his back and crossing his arms. "How much did you see?" A slight air of nervousness overcame him, his tone a bit strange considering his usual behaviour. Venti was already preparing to immediately give the drawings back to Xiao should he look any more uncomfortable than he was now.
"Hab keine angst, nicht viel." He looked down at the white paper again. "Just these first two pages." He turned the sketchbook more towards Xiao so he could see better. "I just wanted to check what it was, since I could feel your energy on it. I didn't want to pry, so I stopped once I saw the drawings. Sie sind wunderschön, by the way, Liebling."
It was just a simple outline of a flower, a Qingxin. The petals were the most difficult part, all too close to each other yet so distinguished. He picked one up while he was wandering atop various mountain tops, patrolling the area as he had been neglecting it for the past couple days. The inspiration to draw came to him as he twirled it between his fingers, as he saw the demure beauty of the nature's gift native to Liyue.
It used to be his hobby, a long while back. Even before his captivity, even before Alatus. He would spend days after days just doodling on pieces of paper. Coming to the same spot over and over, just to paint the sky at all of the different times of day, capture the differences between the pale blue with spots of white clouds, the stunning orange with pink stripes and purple highlights, and the navy blue with black wisps and starry freckles.
He'd draw every leaf he came across, its shape and colour almost perfectly. The greenery slowly fading into amber and gold, fiery red and cheerful yellow. There was something about autumn which made it so beautiful. Everything around him died a gorgeous death, their lives colouring lives of those beneath them, painting pathways and playing with auditory senses. There was something about nature, and its cycle of life, that was so fascinating, that it couldn't be helped but to be kept safe forever, between the pages of a quiet soul.
He drew passerbies too. People standing on bridges and tossing Mora in them, eating food together, or coming with a close friend late at night to have meaningful conversations with the help of alcohol. Children helping their parents pick fruit, hunters chasing their prey, jewelers patiently fixing a broken necklace; it was all safely conserved in the ink.
The second drawing in the sketchbook was of a moon shining brightly at the flowing river below. There weren't too many details with this one, Xiao was simply testing his hand, seeing how much muscle memory it had retained all these decades, centries, later.
"Liebchen? Liebling...?" Venti's voice broke him out of his trance. He was met with a slightly worried expression on his lover's face, the hand which wasn't holding the notebook was placed gently on Xiao's chest, and it took Xiao a second to realise that Venti was checking his heartbeat and breathing.
"It's alright," were the first words that came out of his mouth. "I'm not dissociating right now, just... got a little stuck in my own head." Xiao placed his hand over Venti's, smiling at his beloved before looking at the sketchbook tightly in Venti's grasp. "Can I...?"
It took Venti only a second to realise what Xiao was requesting, and he handed him the precious object with no questions asked. Xiao only stared at it for a bit, pulling away from Venti's touch, missing the warmth as soon as the arm was off his chest.
He gripped it with both hands and took a second to sigh. "I thought I lost it," he confessed to Venti. "I was a bit embarrassed, but mostly upset. I should have been more responsible when it came to something such as this... where did you find it?" Xiao asked without looking up.
"Dein Zimmer. I was looking for you, but couldn't find you. Da war etwas unter deinem Bett, so I decided to take a look, and I found this. It was filled with your energy and traces of Karma, so I got a bit too curious. Es tut mir leid, Liebling."
"That's alright, Venti," Xiao replied, "You didn't even look past the first two drawings." He laughed quietly, flicking his sketchbook open somewhere close to the end. "I started off drawing things which I used to when I first began. Scenery, animals, specific plants; there was always something I could use to gain inspiration, something I could use to create a theme which will thrust me into drawing for multiple hours at a time."
"Well, if it pulled you away from duty then-"
"Don't make me sound careless." Though the serious tone, Venti only laughed. Xiao still struggled pushing through the monotony of his voice, it was difficult for people to differentiate between his emotions, sarcasm and seriousness, so he often ended up hurting someone's feelings, whilst not understanding at all what had happened. Venti always understood perfectly though, so there was no need to walk on eggshells around him.
"Okay, continue your explanation." Venti said as he sat down, using his arms to pull himself a bit further back to lean against a tree that was near them. Once Xiao got to the page he wanted, he nodded to himself absent-mindedly and then went to sit down right next to his boyfriend.
Xiao turned his sketchbook all the way towards Venti, showing his portraits. Some of them in colour, some of them just black and white. "You've been occupying my thoughts for quite some time now." There was a pale red dusting Xiao's face. "I wanted to see how well I could draw you from memory."
Venti took the notebook from Xiao's hands, placing it in his lap as he took in all of the details of his face and hair, of his eyes, and wow the colour in them... It was so vibrant and realistic, so attention grabbing and they were definitely the main part of all of these sketches and drawings. Even the black and white outlines had a burst of colour in the eyes. Green and blue, emerald and sapphire, sky and ground; all of the comparisons Xiao made.
A glimmer of joy shone brightly in Venti's eyes. "Ich kann es nicht glauben, you somehow managed to make me jealous of my own portrait." And Xiao laughed, leaning his head against Venti's shoulder. "I- wow, Liebling- Ich liebe es!" Venti giggled, tracing the outline of his braids as he spoke.
"I want to lose this sketchbook on purpose eventually; Some time in the distant future. Somewhere in an ancient ruin. It will be filled with doodles and scribbles, telling of my beloved." Xiao voice went so low that Venti wanted to ask if he was drunk, but he very clearly wasn't, so he kept his mouth shut and bit his lip, feeling his face get warmer and warmer.
"Why?"
"You preserve the memory of him, but I want the memory of you to be etched deep into any material connected to my name, so whoever finds it can look at you, read about you and say that Adeptus Xiao finally had the right to be afraid again. He had something to lose, after all.
I want them to see you and say they would have loved you too, had they ever met you. Because only that way would I be able to explain to you just how deeply entangled your soul is to mine.
Take it as the 'I love you' that I can never say while looking at you in the eye."