Chapter Text
Why the fuck would Mori ask him and Dazai to babysit sit Kyusaku AND Elise? That was what Chuuya had been talking about Kouyou with. “I have the power to do literally anything else. I was the leader of the Sheep, so why am I stuck babysitting and not what I’m getting paid to fucking do?!”
Kouyou sat in front of him. She was obviously getting sick of his ranting. She set her tea down on the table. “At least you won’t be alone. Dazai will be going with you, to get Kyusaku in check.” She picked up her tea and started drinking it again.
Chuuya’s eye twitched. “With the shitty mackerel?! It’s like Mori knows how to put me in a bad mood!” He crossed his arms, fuming with anger at this point. “Why can’t he take care of Elise on his own?? Doesn’t he love her?!” Kouyou finished her tea. “Don’t tell Mori, but Elise didn’t want to be with him in the same room any longer.”
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Dazai was waiting outside of the room Chuuya and Kouyou were in. A few seconds later, Chuuya burst through the doors, hitting Dazai’s nose in the process. “Ow!! Chibikko-kun, that hurt!!” Dazai started whining like a baby. Kyusaku and Eise were skipping down the hall, happy to be taken somewhere else.
Kyusaku smiled and tilted their head. “Where are we going, Mister Dazai?” Elise nodded in excitement. Elise was older than Kyusaku, who was only six, but they were still friends, despite the 5 year difference.
Dazai had not thought that far ahead. Babysitting was hard. Dazai crouched down to their level, “We can go to one of those axe-throwing places. Does that sound fun?” Chuuya stared at him like he was an idiot. “You can’t take two children to one of those places!”
Dazai tilted his head. “Why not?” Chuuya kept staring at him. “What if they get hurt?!” Dazai rolled his eyes. “Ugh, fine…then where else should we go?” Chuuya thought for a second. “I think the park would be a nice spot. Plus, it's free.”
Elise and Kyusaku didn’t know what was happening, to be honest. “So… where are we going, Mister Chuuya?” Kyusaku tilted their head. Kyusaku had a sad expression appear on their face. “Are we not going anywhere? Is this true, Mister Dazai?” Elise was now tilting her head. Why was everyone doing that? Elise spoke up to comfort Kyusaku. “It’s ok, we’ll just tell Rintaro, and he’ll fire them!” Chuuya started to calm down Kyusaku, “Hey. Don’t be sad! We're gonna go to the park.”
Kyusaku and Elise smiled. Kyusaku was dragging along their doll. Chuuya wouldn’t admit it, but their doll was creepy as shit. Why did it look like that anyways? Who thought it was a smart idea to give a child that ugly doll?? Elise on the other hand, was wearing a designer velvet dress. Chuuya had heard Mori and her arguing. They made a deal that she would wear the dress only if he bought her a whole cake shop.
Both of the children followed Chuuya, not Dazai. If there was one thing Chuuya had learned during the first few weeks of being in the mafia, was that most of the kids liked him, like he was family to them. “Mister Chuuya, mister Chuuya!!” Kyusaku smiled at Chuuya. “Just call me Chuuya. But what is it, Kyusaku?”
Kyusaku lifted their doll and put it in Chuuya’s arms. Kyusaku smiled bigger, “You can hold my doll, Mister Chuuya!!” Even though Chuuya did hate being called something so formal, it's not like he could yell and curse out a child. No one should ever do that. Plus, no one knew about Kyusaku’s past. He didn’t want to scare them away.
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Dazai was quite excited himself to be going to a park. They thought of the child's wonder of playing on the swings, getting burnt by a metal slide, and eating dirt sounded nostalgic. It almost brought a tear to Dazai’s eye. Chuuya had noticed this, and he did his signature, “what the fucking hell” stare at him.
Dazai had realized Chuuya was staring. “What are you looking at, Chuuya?” Dazai asked, “Because you’re making me blush~” Chuuya’s face looked as if he smelled something rotten. Dazai was giggling, almost like he was one of the kids. Dazai giggled even more. “You think, if I can stick my head in one of the bars, it could choke me to death?” Chuuya walked ahead with Elise and Kyusaku, leaving Dazai behind.
“CHUUYAAAAA~!!”
They had gotten to the park. Dazai was panting, like a dog, from trying to keep up with Chuuya. Elise was laughing at him, enjoying his suffering. Kyuusaku was smiling too, but Chuuya noticed how they didn’t know what was going on, and was just laughing so they wouldn’t feel left out. Even Chuuya laughed a little.
“Im so tired, Chibikko… we should get ice cream!” Dazai suggested. Elise immediately perked up at the sound of sugar. “Really?! Rintaro only lets me have sweets when I wear ugly dresses for him!” She beamed. Chuuya didn’t really want to take care of a sugar-hyper kid and a manchild. Chuuya frowned a little. Kyuusaku frowned, “Are you ok, Mister Chuuya? You look sad…” They frowned a little as well.
If there was one thing Chuuya didn’t like, it was sad children. “No, no, no, don’t be sad, kid. I’ll get you any flavor you want!” He panicked. Dazai was now the only one left giggling. And he even got excited, too. “And you’ll pay for it, too! I’ll have mint!” Chuuya was mad at Dazai. Although the Port Mafia paid almost quadruple what the Sheep could pay when he did extra tasks for them. Yet he still wasn’t used to having so much money at once. “Fine!” Chuuya shouted.
“Me and Kyuusaku will have strawberry!” Elise smiled and Kyusaku nodded their head happily in agreement. Chuuya spotted a bench. “You two can sit over there and wait while Dazai and I get it for you, ok?” Chuuya gave the doll back to Kyuusaku before he went to buy the ice cream with Dazai.
“Chibikko, do you need me to lift you up so you can order?”
“Shut up!”
“But they won’t be able to see you, Chibi!”
“Oh, piss off.”
After they had gotten the ice cream, they went back to the kids. They were talking about something, probably unimportant. Chuuya looked at his phone to check the time. “We have an hour before you two need to go back.”
Kyuusaku almost immediately started crying. “B-but Mister Chuuya! Elise said she doesnt wanna go back, and-and I like being outside…” Elise stood up and started comforting Kyuusaku, before turning towards the duo, “We should stay out longer, we don’t want to cut your date short.” She quickly started snickering after saying that. Chuuya started blushing out of embarrassment. Dazai was also snickering.
“Chibikko, are you to nervous to go on a dateeeee with me~?” Dazai teased. Chuuya almost slapped his face, in the process, he dropped his ice cream, and if not for Dazai’s quick reflexes. “Chuuya!! You almost hit me in front of the kids!!”
Chuuya crossed his arms, angry that he had dropped it. Elise tilted her head, “You two got the same, flavor, so just share.” Kyuusaku happily ate some of their ice cream, as if they weren't crying a few minutes ago. Chuuya blushed at the thought of sharing food with him. This babysitting thing overwhelmed him. He might have as well just left already. And he was leaving, walking the way back to the Port Mafia headquarters.
“Chuuya, come backkkk!!” Dazai yelled after him, running to catch up. Kyuusaku and Elise watched. Elise shrugged, knowing that they would come back for them. Elise was right, and almost twenty minutes later, they came back. But Dazai now had ice cream on his head. Behind him was a very proud Chuuya, smiling at his win. Chuuya looked back at his phone, seeing that they could stop babysitting in half an hour.
Chuuya heard that there was a playground near where they were, so he took them there. He sat down under a tree, finally being able to take a break. Then, Kyuusaku pulled him to the slide with them, polity demanding him to push them down. Although stubborn, he still did it. Dazai was pushing Elise on the swing, before getting on one himself.
Now there were only ten minutes left. Chuuya started rounding everyone up to start leaving. Dazai walked next to Chuuya, holding onto his shoulder. All this walking had made all of them tired, Elise complaining about it the whole.
Finally, they arrived at the headquarters. Mori was waiting in the lobby room, waiting for Elise. Elise on the other hand, was waiting for Mori to grow old and die. Kouyou was waiting next to him. “Oh, Elise-chan, my darling, you're back, safe and sound!” Mori ran towards Elise, but Elise moved away and hid behind Chuuya and Dazai, so he fell on the ground. “Elise-chan…you moved…”
Kouyou smiled, “Chuuya, how was it? They seem happy and unhurt.” Dazai smiled as well, “He did great! He would be a great mother!” Chuuya elbowed Dazai’s face in a moment of anger. “CHUUYA!! That hurt…” He whined.
Chuuya sighed. “At least thats over… I hate this babysitting thing.”
Kouyou tilted her head, “We are very pleased with your work, so it's likely that we will have you babysit again.”