Chapter Text
1.
The other kids run around her gleefully as they chase each other around the classroom.
But Ena sits at the table, humming to herself and kicking her legs. Her fingers are curled around a black crayon as she draws.
“Do you want to play with the other kids?” the teacher asks.
“Nope! I like drawing!” Ena refuses.
Drawing is fun. Ena can do whatever she wants with her scribbles. She can draw a house, a tree, her family, anything! There are no stinky rules to tell Ena what she can or can't do with her drawing.
The teacher peers closer at her drawing. “Oh, is this a hedgehog?”
Ena nods, drawing another triangle for a spike.
“Are hedgehogs your favorite animal?” the teacher asks.
Ena finally looks up from her drawing. “Yeah! They're cute and have spikes!”
“It’s a nice drawing.”
Ena giggles at the praise. “I want to be an artist like my dad!”
Her teacher smiles back. “I'm sure you'll make a great artist.”
Her dad is famous and he makes lots of pretty drawings. She and Akito are really lucky they could learn directly from a famous artist!
Her teacher glances somewhere past Ena. “It looks like your mom has arrived to pick you up.”
“After I'm done with this drawing!” Ena pouts.
Her teacher smiles. “Alright, I'll let your mom know.”
“Thanks!”
As soon as her mom takes Ena back to their home and ushers her through the door, she bounces over to her dad. “Dad, look what I drew!” Ena waves around her latest drawing.
Her dad sets down his newspaper to accept Ena’s drawing. “Is this a hedgehog?”
“Yup! My teacher said it was good! Does that mean I can be an artist like you?”
Her dad goes quiet as Ena rocks back and forth on her feet, waiting.
“You’ll need to meet your soulmate soon to do that,” her dad states.
Ena blinks innocently. “Do I have to meet my soulmate to be an artist?”
Her dad sighs. “No, but it would make things much easier for you.”
“Why?”
“Because you need to see colors to be an artist,” her dad replies.
Ena tilts her head. “But don’t we all meet our soulmates?”
“You'll understand when you're older, but most artists meet their soulmate around your age,” her dad explains.
“Okay, then I’ll try to meet my soulmate soon!” Ena exclaims happily.
“Are you talking about soulmates?” her mom calls over from the kitchen.
“Yes!” Ena calls back.
“Ena.” Her dad looks at her intently. “It isn’t something you can control. You will have to be lucky.”
“But…I just have to meet them like everyone else, right?”
Her mom comes over to join the conversation, placing a gentle hand on Ena’s shoulder. “Soulmates are different, sweetie.”
“How did you meet Dad then?” Ena asks.
“We were in the same class,” her mom answers, smiling at Dad.
“Then my soulmate could be in my class too!” Ena says.
Maybe I should play with the other kids more.
Her dad frowns. “If your soulmate was in your class, you'd have known by now.”
Ena huffs, placing her hands on her hips, “Then where is my soulmate?”
“You’ll have to be patient, Ena,” her mom gently chides.
“I don’t want to wait! I want to be an artist now,” Ena demands, stomping her foot.
Her dad gets up from the couch. “Well, you’ll just have to hope for the best. You’re already behind.”
“I’m sure you’ll meet your soulmate soon, sweetie,” her mom reassures.
“I better!”
I’ll meet my soulmate and become an artist!
2.
Ena leans back from her line art of a flower.
Sunflowers are yellow. The stalk should be green, and the center should be brown-black.
Ena carefully picks through her pencils for the right colors, noting their hex codes.
#FFC300 should be close enough for sunflower petals.
Ena mentally maps out which colors need to go where, concentrating deeply. It's entirely reliant on her memory, and it's no easier when she needs to blend colors and create highlights and shadows.
Ena starts shading the sunflower’s petals, pressing into her sketchbook with more force than necessary.
She's behind. Everyone in her art class can see color, but she can't. And she's almost certain that they let her enroll in the first place because she's Shinei Shinonome’s daughter. Otherwise, she would be relegated to the black-and-white art class like everyone else who hasn't found their soulmate yet.
Ena didn't want to be a monochrome artist. She wanted to use colors, to be like all the other artists.
“You need to study your color fundamentals more. The color palette of your composition doesn't work,” her dad comments so very nonchalantly over her shoulder.
Ena does everything she can to not flinch. I must have left my door open. Her hand tenses around her pencil as she turns towards her dad. “And how do you suggest I do that?”
Her dad answers, unmoved, “Meet your soulmate soon, or memorize appropriate color compositions for the objects and locations you draw.”
“But they usually have multiple color palettes, and they can change based on the time of day. Do you seriously expect me to remember them all?” Ena says through her teeth.
Her dad levels a piercing gaze into her. "This is the path you chose. You need to be born with talent or luck to be an artist, and you have neither."
Ena isn't sure whether it's anger or despair that overflows in that moment – maybe both, but she's on her feet, yelling, "I'll prove you wrong! I'll prove everyone wrong! I'll find my soulmate soon and I'll be able to catch up with everyone!”
Her dad shrugs, "It's your choice. I won't stop you."
Ena faces away from her dad. “Get out!”
She hears her dad's footsteps leading away from her, until they stop again.
“You're going to have to endure things harder than this if you want to be an artist.”
Ena grits her teeth and whips her head around. “Who asked you?!”
Her dad doesn't even acknowledge her response before he leaves.
Ena stares at her drawing. The corners of her eyes sting, but she squeezes them shut and opens again.
I have to keep going.
It takes her a while – her hand aches and she's definitely forgotten to stand up and stretch every so often. But once she's finished, Ena stares into the pigments, the residue sticking to the textured paper. Ena squints at the sunflower's details, she moves further away to look at the overall composition, she brings the paper closer to see if there's anything she can spot between the fine grains.
It's no use.
Ena still can't see the difference, still can't see the colors she desires. And none of it makes sense.
Ena rips the page out of her notebook and viciously tears it in two – the pieces floating down to rest somewhere on her floor. She's panting heavily from the burst of activity and her nails find the soft flesh of her palm.
This is all so stupid.
Scientists have examined the differences between the eyes of someone who has met their soulmate and someone who hasn't. There’s no physical difference.
So it's been suggested that making eye contact with your soulmate for the first time changes something in the brain – but no one knows what exactly and much less how to artificially induce the process in people. More spiritually inclined people like to think of it as a gift from some sort of god. But Ena thinks otherwise – because meeting your soulmate didn’t even guarantee that you would see color.
There are soulmates who have met but still can't see the full range of color – Ena shudders at the possibility. In those cases, researchers have found a physical difference in those people’s eyes, specifically in something called cones. Ena is inclined to believe that there must be a scientific explanation for soulmates, meaning that she didn’t have to wait or follow some stupid fate to meet her soulmate.
Whether soulmates were a more magical phenomenon or a scientific one, that didn’t change the fact that soulmates are the only reason why Ena can't see colors. And that finding her soulmate is the only way she can be an artist.
Sure, there are famous monochrome artists, but usually their pieces focus on technical ability or the interplay between light and shadow. But Ena wants to be free.
She has to do something. Even though her parents have told her it’s useless to actively search for her soulmate, she has to at least try.
Until now, Ena has passively waited around for her soulmate, but surely there had to be a way to find them faster. A lot of people left it up to fate, but there were people who decided to search for their soulmate. If so many people did it, then there had to be some truth to it, right?
I’ll start looking tomorrow.
3.
Ena stomps into her room, wrenches the door open, and flings the still drying canvas across her room.
"Ena!" Akito calls after her.
"Don't talk to me," Ena seethes.
"Well, what do you want me to do about it? It's not something I can control!" Akito exclaims, arms raised defensively.
Why does Akito get everything I want? First he's talented in art and gives up on it. Now he–
Ena whips around to face her brother, "Don't you think I know that?! It's just – just so unfair!"
"This is why I didn't want to tell you," Akito says, hand on his hip but also not meeting Ena's eyes.
"Just get out!" Ena points to her door.
Akito stares at her for a few seconds, but leaves as instructed.
Ena slouches onto her bed, head between her hands.
How did Akito meet his soulmate before me?
Ena still remembers coming home just to find Akito with a boy with bicolor hair next to him chatting politely with both of her parents. Akito seemed happy. He wore an easy grin and his shoulders were relaxed – he looked happier than Ena had seen him in a long time.
In that instant, Ena knew. And when Akito made eye contact with her, his expression instantly became guarded.
Ena had left without another word – a scream trapped in her throat and a burning itch right beneath her skin.
It's not like Akito was aspiring to be an artist, or that Dad was giving him a hard time for being the soulmateless talentless daughter. So why couldn't it be her?
Toya Aoyagi seemed like a good person and a good match for Akito. Aoyagi was very polite when he introduced himself to her parents and seemed to be pretty sensible. Despite everything, she's relieved that someone kind is Akito's soulmate – not that she would ever tell him that.
But it's unfair. So unfair that despite all the time Ena has been searching for her soulmate, that Akito gets to accidentally find his by chance from his normal routine! It rankles her, didn't fate or whatever know how hard she was trying?
During her free time, Ena has gone out to search for her soulmate. She frequents popular cafes, goes to the shopping mall during peak hours, takes long strolls at parks, and visits the latest trending spots. Ena is careful to switch up her schedule – she’s read that people tend to fall into a routine, so that would probably apply to her soulmate too. While Ena prides herself on dressing in colors, a mark of defiance against norms and to also blend in more with her art class – she switches to a patterned black and white outfit when she goes out on these excursions. She didn’t want her potential soulmate to think that she had found them already.
However, despite all her effort and searching, Ena hasn’t met them yet. Ena has even grown to recognize people similar to her – people who are also looking for their soulmate. She sees desperation in their gazes, how they lurk in secluded corners, present but not quite taking part in the atmosphere. Ena wonders if she looks like them too, sometimes.
When was it her turn to get a break?
Ena is still soulmateless at 13 years old, more than twice her dad's age when he met his soulmate. She had looked up when most people meet theirs, and only 50% of the population meet their soulmate by the age of 25. Ena doesn’t want to wait until she’s 25, and even then it’s not guaranteed she’ll meet them. What if Ena is 60 years old and she still hasn’t met her soulmate? How will she ever catch up then? Would that mean she could only be a proper artist when she was 60?
Ena knows, as much as she hates to admit it – that her dad is right in a way. Most successful professional artists have met their soulmate when they were young. Her dad is no exception – he met her mom when they were both six years old. And now Akito has met his soulmate at the age of 12.
Where is my soulmate? When will I meet them?
I'll just have to keep looking.
4.
Ena does the same tired routine. She gets up a few hours before her night classes start, goes outside to search for her soulmate in crowded areas. Makes eye contact with strangers of all kinds – young, old, short, tall, male, female – it didn’t matter to Ena. All that matters is that she meets them.
She used to be able to afford daydreaming about a perfect soulmate – someone who is kind, who appreciates Ena and her art, someone like…K?
K can’t possibly be her soulmate though. K is a genius composer – a completely humble and selfless one at that. She didn’t care about her music getting lots of views, K only cared about saving people. How can Ena compare to that? Ena isn’t a genius, but she wants recognition for her art. To be just as famous, if not more, than her dad.
K recognizes her art though. K says that her art is good.
Ever since Ena formally joined NIigo, her excursions outside have been less frequent and she’s been more concentrated on her art. Ena isn’t sure if it’s because she’s given up on finding her soulmate or if it’s because Niigo and K’s music gives her a purpose.
She hopes it's the latter.
[Enanan]: This is the latest draft of the cover. Do you guys think it’s good?
[Yuki]: I think it’s lovely and captures the meaning of the song well
[Amia]: Ooh, do I see a new technique you’re trying out, Enanan?
[Enanan]: I tried to emphasize the contrast a bit more this time
[K]: I think it’s good
I think it’s good.
Ena smiles, a bit giddy. She isn’t quite brave enough to do color art for Niigo’s songs, so they’ve been monochrome up until this point. Ena isn’t entirely happy with them, but at least she had the confidence that whatever she saw, everyone saw the same. Some of their listeners had pointed it out – that Niigo’s artist must not have met their soulmate yet. Others – Ena doesn’t want to think about their snide comments.
All Ena has to do is focus on doing her best for Niigo. At least some people appreciated her!
But… did people really appreciate her art? If they did, wouldn’t her art account be just as popular?
Ena has tried everything. At first, she would post the monochrome pieces that she’s the most proud of. But that didn’t work, so Ena figured it must be because people didn’t like monochrome artwork much in general. Then she tried posting her best colored art, but she still wouldn’t get any comments or would only get a very small trickle of likes. Finally, out of frustration, Ena had posted her colored art that she thought was bad. No one commented. Not even to tell her it was awful.
No one cares about her art. That’s the truth of it, beneath it all.
[Enanan]: Hey
[K]: Do you need something, Enanan?
[Enanan]: Do you guys ever wonder when you’ll meet your soulmate?
[K]: Not really…I don’t think I want to meet them yet still
[Yuki]: I believe everyone is curious about when they’ll meet their soulmate
[Amia]: Yeah, I agree with Yuki! The more important question is when you think you’ll meet them~
[Enanan]: I don’t know. I just need to meet them soon
[Amia]: To become a ‘proper’ artist?
[Enanan]: Yeah
[K]: I don’t know much about art…but I know that I think your art is good right now
[Yuki]: It is true that the inability to see colors can be detrimental to certain careers
[Amia]: Yeah, it’s a pain whenever I want to look cute!
[Enanan]: At least you have apps to help you out! There’s nothing out there that helps me draw with color better, because everyone thinks that if you can’t see color you shouldn’t become an artist!
[K]: There’s that much difficulty, huh… We should be more appreciative of your work then, Enanan. Thank you for all the work you do for Niigo
Ena feels her cheeks warm in response, her earlier frustration dissipating.
[Enanan]: Of course! I will always do my best for Niigo
When Ena finally meets her soulmate, she swears to herself that she’ll work up the courage to draw color art for Niigo. Niigo deserves her best, after all.
5.
Ena finds herself in a strange place, a place seemingly full of nothing but metal construction beams tilted every which way.
Where am I? Is this even real?
Ena pinches her cheek gently. “Ow. That feels too real,” she mutters.
Ena surveys the area. There doesn't seem to be any exit… The place also looks to be more of the same no matter where Ena cranes her neck to look.
How did I get here? How do I even get out?
The last thing she remembers was clicking on that strange song Yuki left behind, a flash of light–
“Oiiii, is anyone there?” A familiar voice calls out.
“A-Amia?!” Ena exclaims, “Where are you?!”
“Who – Enanan?”
Ena hears rapid footsteps approach her, a girl taller than her coming into view–
Ena has to blink. And blinks again. Something's wrong with her eyes, right? Her vision is weird and blurred.
This girl in front of her – her soulmate, has the most beautiful hair and eyes Ena has seen. It's a far cry from the shades of black, white, and gray that she's used to. It's…a soft color, but not in the way a light gray is soft. It's an inviting soft color, that Ena didn't even have the words to describe it.
Maybe she didn't have the right words, but she’s decided that it’s her favorite color.
“...Are you okay? You're crying,” the other girl asks.
“I am?” Ena lightly touches the corner of her eyes, her fingers coming back damp.
“It's alright, I heard meeting your soulmate for the first time is a pretty emotional experience,” the girl nonchalantly responds.
For so long, Ena has dreamed of meeting her soulmate, wished, prayed for it to happen. And now that she's finally met them – she has no idea what to do.
Her soulmate is wearing a soft smile. “Too bad for you, it's impossible for me to be less annoying than myself!”
Amia really is my soulmate. It's her.
“I don’t care about that right now.” Ena surges forward, crushing Amia with a hug.
I can't believe I finally found my soulmate. It feels like a dream.
“Whoa whoa, calm down Enanan. I know I'm the cutest and all but you're making it hard to breathe here,” Amia comments, sounding a bit strangled.
Ena loosens her grip. “I just – I can’t. I–” Ena stumbles over her words.
Amia pats her on the back gently. “Try taking a deep breath.”
Ena breathes in. The amount of relief, happiness, shock, and newness makes her head spin, as if each emotion was vying for her complete and full attention. The whiplash from bouncing between them and also trying to place words to everything new that she sees is too much. If Ena looks down, she sees that her skirt is black – so nothing has changed, but she knows her blouse is pink , and looks similar to Amia’s eyes.
Amia’s eyes and hair are pink .
Ena takes another deep breath and feels some semblance of calm above the giddiness and excitement bubbling underneath, leaving space for a new emotion to wedge its way in.
“I looked for you everywhere! Do you have any idea how much effort I put in to find you?!” Ena says irritatedly.
“I do, actually, cause you mention it a lot,” Amia says wryly and then gives an exaggerated sigh, “Oh, when will I find my soulmate? How dare they not show their face to me! I’ll give them a piece of my mind when I find them!”
“I don’t sound like that!” Ena huffs.
Amia seemingly ignores her and grins, “All that searching for lil ol’ me! I’m very flattered, you know.”
“Why you–”
Amia’s expression softens. “I am happy right now. I’m glad it’s you.”
Ena’s irritation deflates. “I’m still in shock too,” she admits, “It’s just. After all this time? I can’t believe it!”
"Well, it's your fault for not meeting me sooner!" Amia winks back at her.
Ena crosses her arms. "Hmph. I'm the one that's worse off! Do you know what I've had to put up with from my dad?!"
But it’s okay now, Ena thinks. Now that they’ve finally met, there’s nothing stopping Ena from being an artist.
I’ll show them all what I can do.