Work Text:
It's late - too late for someone like you to be outside in Gotham. But sleep was hard to come by for you and working through the night meant regular trips to the bodega around the corner. You walked back to your apartment complex slowly, stepping one foot pointedly in front of the other as you sipped your energy drink.
You heard Jason's voice in your head as you walked, slipping into an alley that provided a handy shortcut. 'Avoid the back alleys,' he'd said. 'I want you to be safe.'
And then you died , you thought bitterly. And now you're here but you won't actually be here for me and I had to learn to keep myself safe. And, my god, I'm tired of being safe .
Maybe it was stupid, the way you slouched against the brick wall and took a swig of your drink as the man stood in front of you, knife blade gleaming in the darkness and voice spitting threats and not-so requests for your money.
You didn't even have a chance to respond, though, before Redhood himself dropped down behind him and put him down.
Jason. Jason. Jason.
But it wasn't Jason who walked towards you, you thought wearily. It was Redhood. And he was angry.
"You didn't even wait for the fun part," you drawled and his fists clenched.
"I'm walking you home," he said gruffly before turning and stomping down the alley, leaving you to follow him.
The two of you stopped by the entrance of your apartment building and you looked up at him, waiting for him to either talk or flee.
"You know you shouldn't be out this late. You're being reckless," he says stiffly.
"I want to talk to you," you respond. "Properly… preferably when I can see your face."
"I'm… working right now."
"Well yes," you sigh, "but presumably you stop at some point. Come by after. Please. I'll only ask you for this one thing." He straightens at that, a surprised sort of gesture, before reaching his hand towards you as if to cup your cheek the way he so often used to. He seemed to think better of it halfway through, though, as he let his hand drop back to his side.
"You can always ask me for what you need. I'm here. I'll… I'll be here."
"So be here. Whenever you're done, come by. I'll be awake." You don't let him respond to that, slipping through the door of your building and pointedly not looking back.
Just as you'd promised, by the time Redhood is standing on your balcony tapping gently on the glass, you're still awake. You look up from your laptop and gesture for him to come in, and he does, pulling his helmet off and sliding the glass door closed behind him before pointedly locking it.
"You shouldn't leave that unlocked. Anyone could get in here," he scolds as he comes to stand in front of you, eyeing the way you sit straight-backed on your couch.
You shrug. "It doesn't bother me." Jason opens his mouth to respond as his fists clench, and your eyes flicker to the duffle bag he has slung across his shoulder.
"You can shower first if you want," you say, nodding your head towards your hall. "I'm in no rush." Jason doesn't move, though. He stands, his eyes tracing over you silently in a way that makes you lean back from his gaze.
"You haven't slept yet?" he asks.
"Neither have you," you shoot back. He huffs and tightens his grip on the helmet in his hand.
"I'll be quick," is all he offers before stomping down your hallway towards your bathroom.
Sure enough, it's not long before he's padding back into your living room, t-shirt and sweats replacing his Redhood gear and hair damp and curling. You close your laptop and set it on the coffee table when he comes in, sitting across from you on the couch.
"Should I start?" you say quietly. "Or do you want to?"
"I'm sorry," he offers gently, and you feel the air leave your lungs a bit. "I'm sorry I didn't come for you when I got back. I'm sorry you had to be the one to call Bruce and find out what happened from him. I just…"
"It's ok, Jay." Your smile is small and sad and makes Jason's fingers twitch in an effort not to reach for you. "I left. I never expected you to chase me. And I didn't… I took my time coming back, you know. It's ok."
"Are you… back?" Jason asks tentatively, shifting where he sits. "Are you staying?"
You shrug. "I bought an apartment, didn't I?"
"That's not an answer."
"Well, I didn't call you here to talk about my life plans."
"What do you want to talk about, then?"
"I just… want to know what you want from me?"
"What?" Jason asks, bewilderment clear in his voice. "What do you mean?"
"Come on, Jay," you sigh. "I know you're around, watching me, looking out for me. But… I've been back in Gotham for a month and that's all you've done. I just want to know what you want."
Jason sights, a little oh escaping his lips as he slumps down into the couch cushions.
"Nothing changed for me," he explains quietly, keeping his eyes trained on the empty space between the two of you. "There was you, always , and then I died. I came back… and it was still you. It wasn't… it hadn't been three years for me. Not really."
"I understand," you soothe gently.
"But - for you it was. For you, three years had passed and your boyfriend was dead and you moved away and I - I had to assume that was so you could build a new life for yourself and… I was there. I heard you on the phone that night with Bruce, saying you missed Gotham with or without me." You inhale sharply at Jason's words and he looks at you with big eyes.
"Hey, no -" he says quickly. "I'm not mad, baby. Never. I'm never mad at you. I just… I thought maybe you'd moved on. It would make sense for you to move on. But then you came back and I saw you and…" Jason trails off, looking you up and down again and you can't help but shrink back ever so slightly, aware of the ways in which you'd deteriorated since he'd been gone.
"I was just so worried about you," he continued. "I wanted to look out for you, that's all. I understand if you've moved on and don't love me anymore - really, I do. But I… I still love you. And I just - I want you to be safe. That's all."
You stare at him after that, letting him shift around in apprehension while your eyes get wide and your bottom lip trembles.
"Oh, Jason," you whisper before reaching out to him. He makes a small, alarmed sound at the tears that have begun dripping down your cheeks and pulls himself towards you instead of letting you reach out into empty space. His heart thumps painfully in his chest as he considers just how many times over the past three years you reached out into nothing, wishing he was there for you to hold on to.
"Hey…" he says gently as you pull him closer, hands fisting his t-shirt and face buried in his neck. He smoothes a hand over your hair and wraps the other around your waist, anchoring you to him as he feels hot tears on his skin where your face is pressed against him.
"You're an idiot," you mumble against him and he huffs out a quiet laugh. You pull away from him and he reluctantly lets you, holding your hips tightly as you stare at him, cupping his face firmly in your hands to make sure he looks at you.
"There was never an after you, Jay," you say, voice warbling slightly with more unshed tears. "It was always, always you. Forever. I'm… I'm sorry I ran away."
"Well," Jason drawls, but you don't miss the thickness in his own voice and the way his eyes blink back tears. "In your defence, people usually stay dead longer than I did." You huff at that, a smile twitching against the corners of your mouth as you lean back into him. You bury your face back into his neck and hum appreciatively as his arms wrap back around you, holding you tightly to him.
"I'm sorry for acting like that in the alley," you murmur against his skin and he drops a kiss on the top of your head.
"Don't apologize for that, baby. You always have been tough on the outside."
"Yea but you did all that work to get through it when we first got together," you whined. "Now it's gone."
"No way," Jason responds lightly. "This, right here," he continues as he tightens his arms around you, "this is it, sweetheart. And besides… nothing would make me happier than getting to know you again."
"Yea?" your voice is cautious in a way that makes Jason tenderly pull your head away from his neck so he can press kisses across your face.
"Yea," he says sweetly. "Neither of us are the people we used to be, and we both know that. It'll take some time for us to relearn each other."
"Yea," you sigh. "I guess it will."
"Aw, cheer up baby," he says gently. "This is the good part. How lucky is it that we get to do it all over again, huh?"
"Yea," you say, the faintest hint of a laugh leaving your lip and making Jason's heart swell in his chest. "It's nice to have this back."
"Yea it is baby," Jason agrees as he cups your cheek in one of his hands, guiding your lips to his. "It's nice to have this back."