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The truth of the matter is, Megumi had never really paid much mind to romance. Through all the hoops he had to jump as his family fell apart, and as he grew up– a little too quickly , under Gojo’s care, love was the only thing he stayed completely juvenile about. He still averted his eyes when people would kiss in Gojo’s shitty basement movies, and he still flushed like a child when anything involving the topic of sex was even alluded to.
And when Gojo started another lament about his high school boyfriend, Megumi could do nothing but leave the room entirely.
So when the sweaty and overly boisterous third year from Kyoto– Todo, began asking him romance based questions, he couldn’t help the twitch in his spine.
“What kind of girls do you like”
Girls?
“If you prefer guys, that’s fine too.”
Guys?
In truth, he hadn’t even given his preferences that much thought. He liked people who left him alone, but he was surrounded by very exuberant people like Gojo and Yuuji, and they were fine too; they exhausted him past the point that any curse could possibly manage, but he still cared about them enough to say he liked them.
And he liked the calm and collected second years, especially Inumaki, because conversation wasn’t necessary around him. Maki was cool enough too.
But as far as romance went, he had no Idea what to say. Sure he liked the second years, but he didn’t know them well enough to like any of them, and Gojo was basically his weird and unpleasant uncle. That left Yuuji and Nobara, and Yuuji was dead(?) so he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
“I like girls with brown hair that isn’t too long. Preferably ones in my age range.”
Heat rose to his cheeks in embarrassment that unfortunately for him, looked more like a shy blush from someone who had just confessed the identity of their crush.
He made eye contact with Nobara and watched her face morph between confusion and embarrassment before it landed on a hard scowl. Without Megumi having the chance to say another word, she turned on her heels and left, not sparing him another glance.
Fuck.
Megumi just wanted this loud lug of a man to stop bothering him, he couldn’t fathom even slightly why he had to take the most embarrassing route to that goal, which hadn’t even worked, because Todo was now aggressively patting his back to console him about his apparent rejection.
He cleared his throat sharply, still profoundly embarrassed, and began rushing after Nobara, leaving Todo behind to weep for his ‘unfortunate brother.’
Megumi walked through the woods, looking from left to right for any signs of Nobara on the path. He didn’t even know what he wanted to say when he found her, but whatever it was, it had to be better than their current situation.
God he wanted to die.
He breathed out a shaky sigh, still flushed from embarrassment, and now added confusion, because he gets Nobara being happy about his uncomfortable lie, but she had looked more than absolutely pissed . He’d have to explain everything to her quickly, then do the same for everyone else who was present while he talked to Todo.
A flash of anger went through his mind, who did Todo think he was anyway, asking Megumi such a personal question before they even properly knew each other. His obnoxious character reminded him of Yuuji, and his endlessly running mouth. He was always just as quick to spout random questions in Megumi’s direction.
But no , his brain supplied as he compared the two. Yuuji wouldn’t have stood there and watched him become more and more uncomfortable. Yuuji would have grabbed Megumi’s shoulder, and apologized quicker than he could even process with a happy smile. The conversation topic would have changed just as fast to something more akin to Megumi’s tastes, and Yuuji wouldn’t have been a bother.
His stomach twisted in a knot, just like it had the day he and Yuuji had met, and just like it had been doing on a near constant basis since the day he died.
“So you got away.” Nobara appeared next to him, cutting off his thoughts, he felt a little less sick with the distraction.
His head shot up “Kugisaki I-”
“You don’t like me. That’s not something that needs any convincing to believe. Well, for me anyway, the others might need to be told.” She scowled at him again, “Why did you have to cause this mess Fushigurou, and in front of Gojo-Sensei too.”
Megumi’s eyes widened, predominantly in fear of this very new information. “Gojo heard that..?”
“I’m surprised you couldn’t hear his snickering. He frolicked away before I left though, probably to go tell someone about your little mess up.” She tsked, looking him up and down. “Hey don’t faint just yet, we still have a game to win.”
“How did, why did-” His brain felt foggy and cluttered. He imagined Gojo’s face as he ran off to tell god knows who about this slip up of his, and the urge to throw himself off of the roof of the school came rushing back to him.
Nobara’s gaze softened a bit, “look Fushigurou, I know the past few weeks have been really hard for you, with the kid you’ve been pining for all year suddenly dying, and Gojo weirdly not showing up to any of our lessons but-”
“What?” Megumi’s eyes widened at Nobara. “I’ve been what all year?”
Nobara raised a disbelieving eyebrow “you and Yuuji? Don’t tell me you haven’t realized you liked him.”
Megumi’s stomach was in such a tight knot, he thought he might burst.
Nobara snorted, “unbelievable, Gojo-Sensei wasn’t kidding when he said you had no comprehension of romance. Now I owe him half my bento.”
Ignoring his twinge of irritation, Megumi looked Nobara in the eye with a frown, “why do you think I liked Yuuji? I mean he was a friend but-”
“Even that alone is a sign. You never say you have friends; and the way you actually smiled around him, and would stand in close proximity to him without looking weird and uncomfortable. Plus, you blush quicker than anyone I have ever met, and don’t get me started on the staring .” Nobara rolled her eyes just thinking about it. “You were smitten.”
“I stare at everyone.” Megumi protested, he tried to pretend that he didn’t know his face was cherry red. “People talk, and I stare in reply. That’s how I make them go away.”
“You stared at Yuuji no matter what was going on. I once saw you just looking intently at him for a full five minutes while he was trying to see if he could turn his nipples into Sukana’s eyes -”
Nobara felt her mouth be quickly covered by a warm and sweaty hand. “Idiocy can be intriguing, it’s like watching Gojo-Sensei function.” He muttered. His stupid mind got so lost in Nobara’s theories that he didn’t even notice her licking his hand. He snapped it away with a disgusted scowl.
Nobara looked at him and sighed. “Megumi,” her hand made its way to her head, as though she was dealing with a migraine. “How do you feel about Yuuji Itadori? Tell me in ten words or less.”
Megumi stopped at that, and his face tightened.
What did he think of Yuuji Itadori?
There wasn’t much time to develop that though before the boy’s death, but Megumi could feel it. He could feel the empty air that had once held Yuuji’s eternally beaming face. He could feel the silence that took the place of his jokes and teasing.
And Megumi had noticed this empty air since the day Yuuji had died. He had felt this quiet sadness ever since. Megumi wasn’t often in a genuine state of woe. Sure, he was often irritated because Gojo was playing shitty jokes on him again , or a problem had risen in his school life.
But this unhappiness was like a sickening pang of hurt, and regret, and even anger. He wanted Yuuji back, and he wanted to feel the warmth that radiated off of him at all hours of the day again.
“I miss him. I miss his happiness, and his warmth.” He blurted, and he was suddenly no longer looking at Nobara.
Even so, he could feel the frown take place on her face. “You know Fushi- Megumi, it’s really okay if you were in love with him. We all miss him, and I’m sure everyone is still thinking about him, but it really affected you a lot.”
He scoffed with a scowl. “Of course it did. I watched it happen.”
“We have both witnessed deaths. It is part of this job, part of our training, and the world we live in. You haven’t been the same since Yuuji’s death. I know you have never been an extremely happy person, but recently you have seemed so distracted, and you look physically ill, like you haven’t slept-” Nobara was getting increasingly louder as her rant went on, and Megumi wanted nothing more than to walk away.
“Kugisaki.” He tightened his fist, and looked at her coldly. “Even if you’re right, and I did actually romantically like Yuuji, what’s the point of bringing it all up? He’s gone, and frankly, such topics are none of your concern anyway.”
She matched his cold gaze, “you need to clean your mind up. I understand that you are not one for talking about feelings, but if you don’t get yourself sorted out soon, you will just continue dropping, both in performance as a sorcerer, and genuine mental health.” She turned around, and began to walk away, before hesitantly stopping again. “Maybe I overstepped, and maybe you don’t see me as a friend, but we are the only two first years now, and like it or not, we are going to rely on each other a lot. Try to build a little trust in me if you can.”
Nobara left before Megumi could decipher a coherent reply from his brain. He felt a pang of anger towards whatever the hell that obnoxious and invasive interaction was, and additionally, another ounce of that god awful guilt and sickness that had been piling in his chest for weeks. His brain went back to Yuuji Itadori, like it always did in times where his festering and disoriented heart felt as though it was being squeezed.
He wanted to scream at Nobara’s disappearing figure that she was wrong , and he wasn’t in the slightest bit romantically interested in, or hung up on Yuuji. Because he couldn’t be . His first realization of love couldn’t be for someone who was already dead. And the disagreeable and near constant image of the boy in his mind couldn’t be anything more than a natural human guilt that he couldn’t stop the death as it played out in front of him.
But then why did that pain in his heart return when thinking of Yuuji’s smiling face? He felt the same sadness when imagining happiness as he did when he imagined death.
It’s because I miss him naturally. His brain supplied. Nobara cried when he died, she hurt just like I did.
But Nobara was sleeping at night, and she didn’t have the same unpleasant look in her eyes that Megumi did when he thought about Yuuji. She cried once and moved on, like she did every time another unfortunate soul died at the hands of a curse.
He scratched his burning face, and felt as his mouth twitched between an angry sneer and a frown. He had to push Yuuji to the back of his mind if he wanted to participate well in this little shitty school event he was forced into. A feat that was much easier said than done.
He swallowed the sickness that had built up in his throat, and followed in Nobara’s tracks back to the campus plaza with a heavy mind. He envies his past self, the unaware and close minded person he once was. He wanted to go back to hardly knowing how to understand and apply romantic emotion. Because this burning of near agitation for the possibility of liking someone he could no longer have, or even physically see was horrific. He felt like a child, wanting to stomp and cry and yell that it was unfair.
But he instead opted to grab his own arm as he folded them across his chest, and squeeze it roughly to convey his pent up emotion to his physical body.
-
Megumi had rejoined his peers with his arm still squeezed tightly next to his chest. The second years spared him a flash of a sympathetic look as Todo came running over to him once again to ask how his ‘brave chase for his beloved’ had gone, to which Megumi did not reply. Nobara had gotten there before him. If the second years had any questions about the events that had taken place earlier, they could have asked her upon her return. As for the Kyoto students, Megumi didn’t intend on seeing them much after this event, if he could help it. Their opinions and assumptions did not matter.
The chatter surrounding him was loud, and he couldn’t help but stay as still and secluded as he possibly could in hopes that nobody would follow in Todo’s footsteps and attempt conversation with him. On an ordinary day, talking to strangers made him uncomfortable, or maybe annoyed; but at this moment, he couldn’t help but feel as though he wasn’t quite connected enough to his thoughts to actually hold simple small talk, much less a deep discussion.
But that didn’t stop Nobara from walking up to him with the same stern look she had left the forest with. She stood beside him not saying a word, with the loud yet unsaid message that he was supposed to start the conversation between them.
“Where is Sensei?’ He muttered, not meeting her eyes, or moving to face her at all.
“Said he needed to go grab something. It’s a ‘gift’ apparently.” She replied, and he knew she was scowling even more now.
“Is that so?” He replied, and as if on cue, he saw Gojo stand-up white hair racing towards them with a giant metal box. Megumi didn’t have any interest in what it contained.
Gojo had been behaving weirdly the past month or so. More often than not he wasn’t showing up to any of Megumi and Nobara’s lessons, leaving them to do low level training exercises that were just weak enough for them not to get in trouble for training unsupervised on school campus. He had also been looking at Megumi with an obnoxiously guilty expression. Blindfold be damned, he knew Gojo, and he could sense his pitiful gaze rotting through the cloth around his eyes.
Megumi had no idea why this was. He thought for a while that Gojo might have felt guilty, or responsible for Yuuji dying, and was just in a general bad mood. But he was only looking at Megumi with that stupid guilt; maybe he looked worse than he thought. Maybe Gojo could just tell he hadn’t been sleeping.
“Hello my dear students!” Gojo had reached them with his stupid metal box, and his voice made Megumi’s skin crawl just like it always did. Met with no reply, he continued on, “I would first like to formally apologize for being absent recently. I was taking care of some very important business.” He radiated absolutely zero remorse, and Nobara rolled her eyes.
“Whatever.” She replied, finally breaking their silence. Megumi glanced at her, and saw her eyes trained on the metal box with a confused expression. “What poor creature are you keeping in there Sensei? I hear it squirming around.”
Gojo’s face instantly lit up, and he reached for the box. “Why Kugisaki, this is no lowly rodent, but my wonderful present for the both of you!” He popped the box open, and Megumi’s heart stopped for the nth time of the day.
Because Yuuji Itadori stepped out of that box, with no hole in his chest, and no lifeless face. Just a happy smile that matched Gojo’s as he yelled “surprise!”
Neither of them could speak. Megumi had so many thoughts running through his mind that he felt ill, and Nobara once again, looked pissed. She stepped out and flicked Yuuji in the head, and he stopped smiling instantly, another sting went through Megumi’s chest.
Nobara looked at her finger, then back at Yuuji. “You’re real.” She confirmed.
Yuuji smirked humorously, “I am.” A palm connected with his face.
“You asshole! Faking being dead for so long. Fushigurou has been so deflated, and it’s all your fault.” Nobara huffed, and shook out her hand, readying herself to maybe slap him again, depending on his reply.
Yuuji resembled, in the most accurate sense, a kicked puppy, and grabbed his cheek. “Blame Gojo-Sensei. He is the one who forced me into hiding. He’s definitely a perv too, because I woke up in this weird white room naked, and he was just standing there in the corner muttering something about a ‘big disappointment’ to this random lady-”
“Your execution, Yuuji. We were talking about your execution. I don’t care about your dick.” Gojo for once, didn’t look amused. “And yes, it was I who hid young Itadori from you all this whole time. I apologize really, I should have known it would have a mental effect.” He wiped a fake tear away from his blindfold , and turned to Megumi. “My dear Megumi Fushigurou, my student, my ward, my apprentice, and dearly dearest favorite Fushigorou, do you have nothing to say to your recently resurrected classmate? I know you have been missing him terribly.”
Megumi was frozen, stuck . He felt a bit of bile rise in his throat, and wondered if he had finally reached the edge. The idea of hallucination seemed so much more plausible than Yuuji Itadori being alive and well, and just as feverishly happy as he had always been. He squeezed his hands into tight fists and watched as Yuuji’s eyes followed his movement, slightly frowning at Megumi’s closed grip. As soon as he saw that Yuuji had lost his smile, he dropped his hands from their tensed state, and inhaled a deep, quiet breath. He swallowed the disgusting feeling in his throat, and nodded tightly in Yuuji’s direction. “Welcome back.” He provided, and his voice cracked slightly on the ‘w’.
But even that half assed response still got him a happy face in return. “It’s good to be back, Fushigurou! With you and Kugisaki, I mean. I’ve actually been on campus with Sensei this whole time.”
That explained the absence of their teacher. Megumi nodded in understanding, and felt a palm collide with the back of his head.
“Oi, don’t pretend to be all cold and distant now. We just talked about this.” Nobara whispered furiously in his ear like a buzzing nat. Megumi ignored her, eyes still trained on Yuuji.
“The games today,” he suddenly started, the sick feeling in his stomach was slowly being replaced with warmth, as he assured himself that this was not a figment of his imagination, but a stupid end result of one of Gojo’s weird Itadori-centric plans. “Are you participating?”
Yuuji’s face softened, and he looked Megumi straight in the eye with a content and happy grin, “of course. It sounds really fun, the competition I mean. Even though nobody really looks excited.” He looked around at all the students huddled away in their secluded little circles, not mingling like the free time was intended to have them do.
“The Kyoto students are unpleasant, I’ve gathered that much in the time they have been here.” Megumi brought himself slightly closer to Yuuji, because now that he was back it only felt natural to stand by him as though they were a team.
Nobara scoffed, “you say that about everyone you unwillingly have to meet.” Her eyes were glossy, and if Yuuji noticed, he didn’t say anything, Megumi opted to do the same.
“It’s more enjoyable to stay away from people who annoy me. Besides, they’re all bunched up over there scowling at us for no reason.” He pointed with his head over to the Kyoto students, looking directly at Megumi and his friends with such malice that was beginning to make him almost want to sic his shikigami on them.
“Aw! But you keep us around even though we’re annoying.” Yuuji threw his arm around Megumi’s shoulder. Feeling Yuuji’s physical body touch his own brought a whole new wave of realization to Megumi that nothing bad had happened , and that Yuuji was okay . He felt intensely aware of the slight stinging in the corners of his eyes, and instantly focused himself on not crying.
He wanted to turn to the side and hug Yuuji as hard as he could. It was weird, and foreign to his mind, because he had never been one for physical affection. He was more willing now that Yuuji was right in front of him to maybe consider in his mind the possibility of a crush. His heart was beating rapidly, and natural human warmth had never felt so sacred to him. It was like he was feeling immense comfort just from the body heat Yuuji was emitting.
“You’re different” He couldn’t stop himself from blurting out, and he felt Yuuji still against his body. Megumi moved his head to the side to look at the boy next to him, suddenly panicked that he had stupidly made him uncomfortable, and was met with Yuuji’s blinding smile, bigger than he’s ever seen it. He also didn’t fail to notice the bright pink dusting the boy’s face.
Something was brewing in Yuuji’s eyes, Megumi could tell. But it flicked away in an instant. “Aw, I knew you liked us.” Was all Yuuji said, and it was obvious that he was holding himself back from saying more , or something else. Megumi wished deep in his mind that he and Yuuji were alone instead of in a plaza of people. If that were the case, maybe Yuuji would have actually said what was on his mind.
“Now my dear students,” Gojo appeared, grabbing onto Megumi’s other shoulder. None of them had even realized he had left, only when he materialized into their little circle out of thin air did it become apparent to them that his flamboyant personage was missing. “I would hate to interrupt this touching moment, but we must begin the competition right?” He roughly dropped his arm away from Megumi, and turned around, beckoning them to follow, “and don’t think I’ve forgotten about your little incident earlier Megumi~ it was quite the little show.”
Yuuji raised an eyebrow, and looked at the two students next to him, “what incident?”
Megumi’s face burned , and he slapped a hand over Nobara’s mouth again before she could start speaking. This time, he ignored the disgusting fact that she was licking his hand in order to save his dignity. “Nothing. Gojo-Sensei is delusional. He probably is just misremembering things. If he tells you anything, it’s wrong.”
Yuuji’s head tilted to the side slightly, “Oh is this about you having a crush on Kugisaki? He told me all about that.”
Nobara burst out laughing against Megumi’s hand, and he moved to slap her in the back of the head. “I do not have any feelings for Nobara Kugisaki, other than annoyance, and irritation.” He replied mechanically, face still beet red and hot.
“Annoyance and irritation are the same thi-”
“Shut up Kugisaki.” Megumi warned, before turning to face Yuuji. “There’s nothing to like honestly.”
Yuuji snorted, “I should have come earlier, that would have been hilarious to watch.” Megumi felt a pang of annoyance shoot through his brain, but somehow it felt actually enjoyable . Like another happy jolt of realization that Yuuji was back, along with his stupid smile, and little jokes that annoyed Megumi to no end.
He joined them in walking along with Gojo, and silently enjoyed the normalcy.
-
The competition was terrible . Megumi had to deal with the unlikeable and stuck up personalities of Kyoto’s students, which was bad enough as it was, but he had also managed to get rather pummeled in one way or another.
He spit out another wad of blood, and watched as the situation turned from a simple game between schools into an all-out shit show that could very well be the ending point for every training sorcerer involved.
Megumi knew the fight was just beginning, and he could see the disgusting wad of discolored flesh and mangle features that was attacking them. And he knew that Yuuji Itadori was at the center of it all.
He wanted to protect Yuuji , a thought deep in his mind brewed as he fought these unwanted villains.
If they get him, he’ll die all over again.
The cursed spirits were in front of Megumi’s face at that very instant, which means that he had the opportunity to kill them. Despite being completely under trained, and lacking the power to actually kill multiple special grades, he had this twisted idea in his mind that if he didn’t succeed in killing them when he had the chance, it would be his fault when they killed Yuuji.
He felt bile dribble out of his mouth as he was thrown like a doll by his opponent, and a wave of exhaustion flew over his body.
‘You need to do something.’ His brain screamed at him, and he brushed away a trickle of blood that fell from his forehead and pretended not to be aware of how badly this was going to get messy for him, and quickly , if nobody showed up to help him fight.
He had Maki, but she was doing just as well as he was. Her nose was gushing blood, and she kept grabbing at her arm, hissing quietly with every movement. And Inumaki was helplessly watching from the sidelines, spitting out large clots of blood and spit every now and again.
Megumi looked at them, and he looked at the enemy, everything was intense and needed calculation, and attention. Yet he couldn’t think. His brain was still trained on Yuuji, and he was desperately hoping for some miracle strength that would stop the enemy from reaching Yuuji.
But even so, he had no idea if even that would be effective. He and Yuuji were in separate locations, and a thick worry in his stomach feared that there was already a stronger curse attacking the boy at this very instant, without Megumi even being aware of it.
His hands shook, and he readied himself for another attack, trying to balance himself on wobbly knees. He was wrapped up in his mind, and disconnected with his surroundings so deeply that he didn’t even notice that more students had shown up, before he was being lifted into the air by black and white fur.
He looked up at Panda, his fur was dirtier than usual, and he looked oddly different in a sort of subtle way. “What are you-” Megumi began with a mutter, before pausing as pink hair entered his line of sight. “Yuuji?’
Yuuji stopped moving at that, and jolted his head over to Panda, and the two students in his arms. “Fushigurou!” He ran over, and took in Megumi’s roughed up appearance. Megumi couldn’t pretend not to see the worry on the boy’s face, and reached up to wipe the blood off his forehead, in hopes to look a little less fragile. “Panda, please take them back to the school, me and Todou can fight this guy.”
A jolt of fear went through Megumi’s stomach. No, not again . He thought of Yuuji’s lifeless body sitting at his feet because he couldn’t do anything to help, and made a struggle to get out of Panda’s arms, which only ended with him being grabbed tighter. “Yuuji,” he started, staring straight at the boy in front of him, with a confidence he hadn’t been able to manage since Yuuji had come back to life. “If you die again, I’ll kill you myself.”
Yuuji’s face morphed into one of surprise, then his eyes widened in some sort of realization. He smiled at Megumi’s firm face, and took one of the boy’s hands into his own. Megumi was covered in blood and bile from his face to his feet, but Yuuji made no comment as their dirty hands squeezed together. “Don’t worry Megumi.” Was all he said, before looking up at Panda with a nod. He gave Megumi’s hand one last squeeze before turning to face his enemy with a scowl.
Megumi watched the fight begin through a jostled lens, as Panda ran them towards the school grounds. He only looked away when Yuuji was fully out of his view, and suddenly collapsed into an unwilling slumber.
-
Megumi awakened twenty-one hours later inside his own dorm room, with sterile white bandages wrapped around his head, arms, and parts of his stomach. He was bare down to his waist, where black sweatpants met another chunk of skin wrapped in gauze.
“Good to see you made it through.” Megumi shot up at the voice, and steadied his suddenly dizzy body. He was met with white hair and a blindfold. “That’s Nanami’s message for me to tell you if you woke up. I, of course, knew you were going to live. So my message to you is ‘good to see you’re finally awake’”
Megumi grumbled in reply, rubbing his pounding head. His eyes widened suddenly, and he shot his gaze over to Gojo again.
“Everyone is okay. Even your precious little Yuuji made it out alive. I know you were so worried~” Gojo smirked. “You two are so cute, like me and Suguru when we were students-”
“You were dating.” Megumi interrupted, with a hoarse voice and a scowl. “Itadori and I are not dating, he doesn’t like me like that.” A weird feeling brewed in his body after saying such a thing, but he stayed in firm eye contact with Gojo, not revealing any thoughts.
But his teacher and guardian just smirked. “Is that so? But you like him don’t you? Nobara got you to that conclusion during your little heart to heart in the woods.”
Megumi flicked his eyes away fast, “she proposed the idea, yes. But who’s to say if it’s true?” He began fiddling with the string on his sweatpants. “She could just be stupidly romanticizing a forced school partnership for no reason. You know how some people can be overly romantic-”
“Well I say it’s true.” Gojo walked over and sat down on the bed next to Megumi. “And I say you’re wrong about Yuuji. Because we were together all the time during the period that you thought he was dead, and he asked about you all the time.” He pointed to the bandage on Megumi’s head. “He was beaten and bruised in the battle yesterday. Had a nasty hit to the head just like you, and was bleeding everywhere. But he still just immediately asked if you were okay when he got back. Before even acknowledging the fact that he had been targeted again.”
“He’s just a good person. He cared about everyone who was injured I’m sure.” Megumi didn’t want to talk about this, especially if the intent of the conversation was only to instill him with some weird false hope of his maybe feelings being requited.
“He didn’t ask about Maki or Inumaki. Not Nobara either until after he had been treated. It was just you.” Gojo pressed, still with a god awful smirk.
It was just you.
It was just you.
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
Megumi felt a hot swirl of emotion rise from his stomach to his heart. He thought of Yuuji, and how their bloody hands had squeezed together before he had passed out in Panda’s arms, and he thought of Yuuji’s pink face when Megumi had told him that he was different , and the beautiful and blinding smile that reached Yuuji’s face every time they saw each other. “I see.”
Gojo let out a huff of a laugh, “I’m not in here to coach you on your love life though. Despite the fact that I have loads of experience and you are my very favorite Fushigurou. How are you after the battle? Any place need a little more medical attention?”
“You’ve had one failed serious relationship. And I’m fine thanks.” Megumi twisted his body and winced slightly.
“It wasn’t my fault that it failed. But seriously, talk to Yuuji, or stop looking so sad all the time. You may need to do the first to achieve the second. Only one way to find out!” Gojo hopped up and waved at Megumi from the doorway, “he’s awake and well whenever you’re ready~”
“Asshole.” Megumi muttered to the empty space as Gojo pranced away, and he shoved his face back into his pillow.
He looked out his little box window and saw the pinkend sky. A small part of him sneered at the fact that he had missed a whole day of his life unconscious in bed being stared at by Gojo for god knows how long. He thought of getting up, and for a flash of a second thought of going to see Yuuji in his room but stopped himself shortly.
All these people were telling him what he felt, and what Yuuji felt, but he still felt as though he hadn’t quite sorted it out in his brain.
‘You’ve been pining all year.’ Had he really? Thinking of Yuuji Itadori being executed made him angry, and sick. He felt as though he wanted everything to stay the exact same as it was now, with everyone alive and Yuuji there smiling and squeezing his hand in reassurance.
He wanted to stay by Yuuji’s side . He thought, And the final nail hit the coffin.
Megumi knew it, and he had since Nobara’s stupid comment in the woods. Something had clicked in his mind that made all his stupid thoughts able to understand each other a little better, but now he felt as though that understanding had reached a point of equilibrium.
When he had first begun to question if he was in love with Yuuji the day prior, his mind had immediately gone to them kissing, and trails of spit connecting their mouths, and all the passionate, romance-associated things that Megumi was unfamiliar with, and it had made him feel unsure.
But it was becoming apparent in his mind that he and Yuuji had never done anything of the sort, yet Nobara and Gojo both believed that they were romantically interested in each other. Megumi didn’t have to immediately imagine himself lip locked with Yuuji to see if he actually liked him or not, he just had to focus on the fact that he wanted Yuuji all the time.
He wanted them to be touching, and he wanted them to be talking, and even just sharing eye contact. Yuuji’s hand in his, and arm around his shoulder made Megumi feel warm and soft. Like his mind was melting or buzzing and the only cause was that Yuuji Itadori was there, alive, and well.
He was in love. In love with an absolute menace of a boy, with an obnoxious Jennifer Lawrence poster on his wall, and a way of acting and talking that reminded Megumi of an overstimulated eleven year old. But in love nonetheless.
He stood up without even realizing it, and didn’t consider his movements or actions until he had already knocked on the door that neighbored his room. Coming back to his senses suddenly as he waited for Yuuji to answer. He hadn’t really realized until now that his leg and hip hurt like a bitch, and he tightened his arm around the gauze.
“Meg-Fushigurou?” Yuuji’s voice rang out, and Megumi snapped his head up from where his eyes were glaring at his stinging hip.
“Itadori.” He nodded, suddenly not really knowing what to say. “I-” His stuttering was interrupted by arms wrapping tightly around his form, and his eyes went wide.
He stumbled backwards a little, catching himself on his good leg, and slowly bringing his arms up to wrap around Yuuji in return. It felt intimate. Megumi wasn’t sure if the feeling was coming from his mind, or if it was real. Or if it was coming from the face that he was currently shirtless, and had a warm pair of arms circling his bare skin.
“You’re alive.” Yuuji muttered giving the boy he was hugging a squeeze. Megumi could hear his smile.
“I should be saying that, you’re the one who actually died .” He laughed, all he could focus on was how natural hugging Yuuji felt.
The boy laughed “That’s old news, you’re the one who was just sleeping for what? Twenty hours?”
“Something like that,” Megumi replied, and he absentmindedly began to move his thumb up and down against Yuuji, caressing part of the boy’s back. Yuuji shifted after a second, and Megumi worried that he had made him uncomfortable by accident, and quickly pulled himself away. He pretended not to know how red his face was.
Yuuji jolted up from the hug as Megumi pulled away, and looked at the boy in front of him with an embarrassed flush. “Fushigurou, Megumi, I need to talk with you about something. Kinda, it’s not really all that important but if I don’t say something soon, I might explode.” His voice was wavering unlike anything Megumi had ever heard from him, not even when he was about to die, and he reached down to squeeze Yuuji’s hand slightly in comfort.
Yuuji blinked, and smiled a little, continuing with slightly less waver. “I was gone for a while. With Gojo, I mean. And without you, which sucked. I didn’t realize it was going to suck so bad without you around, and I just really wanted to see you again.” He started glancing down at his feet like a child, and Megumi couldn’t help but smirk. “But anyway, Kugisaki, and Gojo too both told me that you had been really sad and I knew I was the one who caused it, and it made me feel so awful, like I just wanted to run out of that stupid room Sensei was keeping me in and come back here to be with you.”
To be with you.
To be near Megumi, like Megumi wanted to be near him.
A jumpy happiness enveloped Megumi and he forced his twitching lips not to smile at the boy in front of him.
“At first I just thought it was because you and Kugisaki are really the only friends I have right now, but I realized once I saw you again that wasn’t the case, and I actually wanted to be with you, and you alone in a different way than Kugisaki. And it’s perfectly fine if you don’t feel the same, but I, well I” He stopped short and averted his eyes.
Megumi’s heart went on autopilot, and he carefully stepped closer to Yuuji. In the short little imaginative episodes he had where he and Yuuji kissed, it was always rough and forced, like the people in Gojo’s shitty romance movies, which were up until now, Megumi’s only real knowledge and demonstration of love.
But seeing Yuuji in front of him with this nervous blush on his face made him feel so soft. Not without passion, but with more love than any movie star could express to a fellow actor. He tilted his head softly, and pressed a slow kiss onto Yuuji’s stuttering mouth, and something inside him sparked and exploded.
Yuuji’s eyes widened, and he grabbed Megumi’s cheek with his warm hand, and brought their mouths together again, this time for a longer moment, yet just as soft and sweet.
When they disconnected again Yuuji was smiling wider than Megumi had ever seen, and his hand was still on Megumi’s face.
A voice rang from down the hall, and they stared at each other with wonder. “Eh? Did you two already confess? I wanted to video it! Our dear Megumi has never shown his little emotions before, it was going to be so fun!” Gojo was standing at the end of the hall, and Nobara was close behind him, they were both fake crying and patting each other on the back. Megumi rolled his eyes.
“Don’t intrude where you don’t belong, it’s impolite.” He muttered, scowling at Gojo.
“But Megumi~ If we hadn’t intruded, do you really think you and dear Yuuji would be in the situation you’re in right now? You would probably still be clueless of the fact that you even liked him!” Gojo pointed out, and Nobara nodded in agreement, looking incredibly smug.
“Whatever.” Megumi mumbled, and he turned around, marching back to his room and pulling Yuuji along with him. He slipped them both inside and slammed the door on the two outside, who were making ‘ooo’ sounds as Megumi and Yuuji went into the room.
Once inside, Megumi immediately brought his face to Yuuji’s and kissed him again, and again and once more. The sun was setting, and they laid on his bed and in hand, caressing each other’s arms gently.
“Your speech earlier,” Megumi suddenly said to the boy lying next to him, “finish it.”
Yuuji laughed. “You already know how it ends.”
Megumi nodded, “I want to hear it anyway.”
Yuuji sat up and leaned over Megumi, looking at him with a smile, “Okay.” He leaned down close to Megumi’s face and whispered, “and I like you, Megumi. I fucking like you a lot.”
“Yeah” Megumi whispered as they connected their lips together again “I like you too Yuuji.”