Chapter Text
“oh hey guys its ya boi duolingo” -john in mask
“oH nO ITS THE DUOLINGO BIRD RUN” -students
“jkjkjkjk” -jhon
“wut”-students
“Heres johnny” - jhon
“WHUT”-students
*beats zeke up* - john
“LOL” - students
“i have very high standards. that one i want that one” - arlo, pointing to john ribstomping zeke in a way that doesn’t see through the mask but somehow sees the abs idk bro
“i think i heard something” - john
“nah whatever” - also john
“am i…..a simp?” - arlo
“yes” - sera
“stfu bro i didnt ask you bro you literal moldy dragonfruit bro like stfu” - arlo
“bitch-” - sera
“stop quoting doja cat you weed smoker” - arlo
“BITCH-” - sera
“am i….a whore?” arlo says, looking down (not at his pants) at the ground. oh such a lovely lovely ground.
it grew a face and ate him before john could
“yes you are arlo warlo” - remi suddenly appearing “first rei, then holden, now john? u gay shit”
“stfu remi” arlo says with a huge le gasp while genocide occurring in the background “stop it you gaslighing bitch”
“N o” remi says “Not me, im too sped for this”
“No you're not” *pork soda starts playing in hte background* arlo seeths in rage anger red red
“No” remi says with an annoyed tone. “I saw you humping”
“You what” said Sera. “Arlo is a prostitute?”
“NO!” Remi shrieks, horrified.
“I’m not a prostitute!” Arlo shrieks, also horrified.
“Ok bro I better not see your balls on my Instagram For You page” warns Sera, who just wanted to scroll pig pictures in peace.
“Seraphina!” Remi exclaims. “Nuar!”
“Remi Baek!” Seraphina replies in a monotone. “Nuar!”
“Bro what is happening here” John intrudes on the conversation because he’s done beating Zeke’s shit back into his ass for breaking his 2-day German streak. “Who’s this cutie patootie”
“What” says Remi
“What” says Sera
“What” says Arlo
“What 😏” says John, “Ur cute bro”
“Who tf asked bro” Arlo says being a tsundere half prostitute, “What’s under that funny lil mask of yours”
“Forgor I had this on tbh” John says and rips off the mask. He forgets it’s connected to his shirt tho so he also rips that off too what an inconvenience bro
“Ahh my eyes” Sera and Remi scream and turn around because they’re lesbians on god bro
“....oh.” Arlo stares at John’s tits without looking at the abs because let’s be real he’s already technically seen them. “Nice abs bro”
“Stfu you’re clearly looking at my beautiful moobs” John retorts, insulted
“Aw thanks bro” John smiles like an insane person because let’s face it, the shadow organization of Duolingo didn’t raise him properly.
“Oh I love yanderes” Arlo thinks to himself because his brain is being rotted by the Duolingo energy however he hasn’t become a huge duolingo addict because his streak is still going at a healthy 1,495 days (czech ofc, french is too easy simply)
“Anyways see you around bestie westie” John’s grin widens in Jeff Woods the Killer style as he skips off
butt naked
in the courtyard “Bye bye”
“Bye bye” Arlo echoes with a nosebleed pool as Sera and Remi gasp for breath and turn around
“Dude what happened” Isen is suddenly next to him, looking at his shoes which are now red because of Arlo’s nosebleed
“Arlo has reverted to stage one: Simp” Sera pats Arlo’s shoulder and sighs, dialing John’s number so he can carry Arlo to the infirmary because let’s face it, Arlo is probably too heavy for all of them
to be continued idk bro