Chapter Text
There’s nothing quite like crisp morning air to remind you that you hate life.
Mornings were Dan’s least favorite time of the day. He wondered how many people wished for more sleep and how many others joined him in his desire to simply cease to exist.
If nothing else, Dan wished with all his heart that he could exist as someone different . Someone cooler than Dan was, with his stubborn brown curls and awkwardly long limbs.
He spent the thirty-minute bus ride to school every day watching YouTube videos of cool young men living brilliant lives in the city.
At night, he lay awake for hours imagining he was one of them. Living free, happy, and carefree.
Instead, his days were largely occupied with avoiding his bullies.
Fred Lewis had only been in school for a few months, and somehow he had managed to turn Dan’s sad life into a truly agonizing one.
The days when he wasn’t shoved or tripped were rare, but Dan almost preferred them to the days when Fred would say something cruel in front of a crowd.
He hated the pity in the spectator's eyes as he got called some unoriginal variation of gay.
Dan would go home, watch his favorite vlogs, and try not to think about how everything that Fred said about him was probably true.
One night, after a particularly grueling day that ended in a busted lip, Dan lay in bed wishing with every bone in his body that he was someone else. Anybody .
He briefly imagined the universe granting him that wish, and letting him be a cool guy living in London or maybe Machester.
Slowly Dan’s body relaxed and sleep blissfully took him from his misery.
The first thing Dan noticed as he woke was the crisp morning air.
He usually hated it, but that particular morning there was something strangely pleasant about it.
Dan slowly stretched, noticing his back hurt.
God, I must have slept with such poor posture last night , he thought.
He got out of bed and walked instinctively towards the mirror in front of him.
He was in the middle of scratching his head when he finally saw his reflection.
Jumping back in surprise, Dan managed to keep his yelp in as he landed quite painfully on his right buttocks.
The face staring back at Dan in the mirror was not his own.
Scrambling on all fours towards his reflection, he peered into the face he saw there.
Dan stared into a pair of unfamiliar blue-green eyes that were decidedly not his own. He rubbed frantically at his cheeks and the stranger in the mirror followed suit.
Dan jumped up to his feet and looked down at his new body. He was taller and his limbs were slimmer and almost translucently pale.
He was wearing atrocious pajama bottoms with a cartoon character on them. That’s when Dan realized he was seeing the world through a slight blur. This new body had poor eyesight.
Dan looked madly around the room until he found suitable clothes to throw on. In the end, he chose a pair of jeans and a T-shirt that had seemingly been discarded the night before by the owner of the body. He pulled them on fast, too disturbed to look closely at the nude body of this stranger.
Dan had to get out of there and figure out where the hell he was.
He cautiously stepped out of the bedroom he was in and tried to gauge where he could be.
Outside the room was a wall of pictures, and Dan quickly spotted the face he had seen in the mirror. So the boy whose body he had stolen lived there. With two older people who must be his parents and another boy who shared his smile. Very likely brothers.
“You ready, Phil?”
Dan jumped back as the boy who he had just been gazing at in photos appeared behind him. Dan was shitting bricks, confused about what was happening and where he was.
But surely it was best to go with the flow. People might think he was mad if he started shouting about being in someone else’s body.
“Yeah…” Dan replied as he watched the other boy walk down the stairs towards a landing. He was briefly startled by the deep baritone of his own voice.
“Well come along! Don't want you blaming me for being late to class,” the older boy said.
Dan followed him into the faded blue car that was parked outside and he prayed he didn’t say anything to give away how lost he truly was.
The older boy kicked the car into drive and expertly pulled into the road.
Dan hoped for a silent drive to their destination. Then he planned to escape into a place where he could call….well someone , anyone!
But he was granted no such thing.
“Listen, Phil, I know you don’t want to hear this from me. Lord knows you’re under enough pressure and…well I haven’t always been the perfect role model,” the older boy turned to look at Dan earnestly.
Dan panicked and turned to look out the window. The older boy sighed, interpreting Dan’s panic as aversion.
“You need to figure out what you truly want, Phil. You’re a talented guy. Don’t waste that on playing it safe.”
Dan said nothing. He just couldn’t think of a suitable answer that wouldn’t give away how clueless and scared he was. He spent the rest of the drive in agonizing, awkward silence.
The car pulled to a stop and Dan realized they were right outside what seemed to be a university campus.
“I'm glad we were both home this weekend. It was nice seeing you, Phil. And I’m glad you go see Mum and Dad when you can.”
Dan nodded. It was enough for the older boy.
“Back to the dorm bed! I hope your back doesn’t hate you too much for it,” the older boy said.
“It seems like it hates me anyway,” Dan blurted out without thinking, as his back had not stopped hurting since he woke up.
The older boy laughed and gave him a brotherly pat on the back.
“Call my work if you ever need anything. I'm there all the time. Tell 'em you’re looking for Martin and they'll get me on the line.”
Dan smiled tentatively at Martin and hopped out of the car with a polite wave.
He waited diplomatically for the car to disappear from view before he panicked.
Dan frantically looked around and spotted an office building that seemed promising. All he had to do was call his grandmother.
She was the likeliest of all his relatives to keep him out of a mental institution once he explained the situation.
He practically sprinted towards the office doors, but a giant hand pulled him by the shoulder before he could reach them.
“Oi!!”
Dan looked at his captor. Another boy. Shorter than him by a few inches but with double the body mass.
“You’re not thinking of snitching to the Warden about last week’s party are ya, Lester?” the boy said, crossing his arms playfully.
“N...no,” Dan stuttered out.
“Very convincing Phil.”
“I...I just needed to use the phone,” Dan said lamely.
“Are you drunk?” the boy said laughing gruffly.
“C'mon, let's use our dorm phone instead, yeah?” The boy said, pulling him a little harshly along.
He was led to what was clearly a student house. Complete with a kitchen ravished by the remnants of a party and loud noises radiating from every closed door.
The boy, who Dan had learned was called James, pointed him to a phone hanging from the kitchen.
Dan hesitated.
“It's a private call…I'm trying to make,” he said.
James laughed.
“Then you better make it in your room Lester,” James said pointing to the door beside the kitchen entrance.
Dan swallowed thickly and nodded to James before escaping to the safety of the room that had been marked as his own.
Dan locked the door, checking it twice before running to the phone.
He rang his grandmother twice without success, before moving to his mother. Then, when desperation struck, he tried to call his father. But it was moot.
Every call came back as unavailable.
Dan buried his head, Phil Lester’s head onto his hands, and let it fall onto the desk where the phone line was still lying ringing. What was happening and how would he get back home?
He allowed himself a solid hour of wallowing in panic and self-pity before he began to itch from inactivity.
He looked at his reflection on the gray screen of Phil’s computer. Phil was a handsome boy. He looked almost androgynous with his big round eyes and pink lips, but his sharp jaw and high cheekbones marked him as decidedly male.
He seemed to have good friends who watched out for him and a brother who also cared for him. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to live as Phil Lester.
Dan moved the mouse on the computer, tired of looking into his panicked reflection.
He shook his head in disapproval at finding that it was not password-protected. Although in hindsight he was lucky that Phil Lester was careless with his internet privacy.
Phil had left a project open—some sort of video editing software that Dan clicked out of quickly.
His internet browser had also been left open on two pages. One was YouTube, where Dan quickly learned that Phil was a little bit of an internet celebrity. Truly, if it weren't for the weird being in another body stuff, it might not be bad at all to live as Phil Lester.
The second window was opened to MySpace, where Phil had an even bigger following. Dan opened the last direct message that Phil had received, trying to gauge what sort of guy he was.
The icon was of another emo-looking boy. Handsome too, although in a more rugged way than Phil was. Dan read it twice, not sure what it was he was looking at.
wolfgang89: Im going to bite you :) I also had fun. I will see you on Monday, I’ll make sure the coast is clear. Dont want that loud mouth of yours to get us caught this time.
As Dan read over the words once more, he felt his ears warm up.
So Phil Lester was gay too. The universe was truly cruel.
If the universe was going to give him a chance at another life, why make him gay again? Although at least Phil seemed to have a romantic life, something Dan hadn’t much to speak of.
A knock at the door startled Dan from his musings. He debated briefly ignoring whoever it was, but in the end, he stumbled to his feet and unlocked it.
He jumped back a bit in surprise at finding the boy from the Myspace messages standing in front of him. He was bigger than Phil Lester and his expression was not that friendly.
“Took you long enough,” the man said, letting himself in and locking the door behind himself.
Dan felt crowded.
“I…was asleep,” he lied.
The man sneered.
“I told you I was coming, didn’t you see my message?” he said with a note of impatience.
“I just got here,” Dan said, getting annoyed. The man seemed surprised at the attitude in Dan’s voice.
“That’s right, you went back home. When we could have been fucking the entire weekend,” he said in what Dan was sure he believed to be a seductive voice.
He was getting dangerously close to Dan.
And while Dan had found the messages online tantalizing, he now felt offended on Phil Lester’s behalf at the way this man was speaking to him.
As if he was an object to be played with over the weekend.
Dan took a step back.
“I was with my family,” Dan said pointedly.
The man chuckled in disbelief.
“Fuck, you’re slow ain't ya? I know you were with your family. Maybe less talking more doing,” the man said dropping his flies and beginning to free his penis.
Dan panicked as the man tried to pull him down to his knees. Almost instinctively, he slapped the bigger man’s hand away and gave him a shove.
The man was absolutely furious. His sneer became hard and his ears were probably as red as Dan’s felt.
Dan saw the punch coming from a mile away. He had been punched plenty in school in the past year, and as he always did, he stopped the first hit.
Except there was no second hit.
The man looked genuinely shocked that Dan had stopped his first punch. He scoffed.
Dan didn’t wait for things to get worse. There were other people in the house after all if he decided to yell for help.
He threw the door open and in the loudest voice he could muster he shouted, “Kindly, get the fuck out of here!”
Phil Lester’s voice was much deeper than his own and the effect of it was that the man immediately jumped and shoved his way out of the room.
A few of the people in the house peeked curiously outside their rooms. James and another girl both looked like they wanted to speak with him, but before they got the chance Dan locked himself back in Phil’s room.
Shaking with nervous energy, he flung himself onto Phil Lester’s uncomfortable dorm bed. He hid under the covers, ignoring every sound from the outside world. And despite the pain in his back, he eventually fell into a dreamless sleep.
Phil Lester woke up feeling unbelievably sad. He had a terrible nightmare the night before, but he didn’t want to think about it now that it was gone.
He sat up and stretched.
Phil was surprised to find that he had gone to bed in his day clothes…and he was back in the dorm. God , he had to stop drinking so much at parties.
Although…he had been at his parent’s home the night before. He didn't drink much around his parents or Martin. Phil couldn't even remember Martin driving him back to the dorm as he had promised. Strange indeed.
Maybe school had finally driven him fully mad, and he was already a bit insane if he was honest.
Deciding not to dwell too much on the strangeness of it all, Phil went about his day.
He made it all the way to the building of his first class when his housemate Sophie accosted him.
“Phil, oh Phil ! I owe you my most sincere congratulations for the feat of last night,” she said, playfully smacking his back. Phil giggled nervously.
“Em, to be honest with you I sort of blanked out last night. Not sure what you mean,” he said, a bit embarrassed but not as much as he would be if he got caught lying.
Sophie’s eyes widened, his first clue that things were not so well.
“You mean…you don't remember kicking Assface Adam out of your room...and perhaps your life?” Sophie said with a smile on her face.
Phil stopped in his tracks.
He wouldn’t have done that…he loved Adam.
Phil must have accidentally said that last part out loud.
“You don’t love Adam, Phil. He was a jackass that used you for sex. And he was…violent with you. Sorry, I know you don’t want me of all people to point it out but you had us all worried,” Sophie said.
Her words stang.
Phil really did love Adam. He could be aggressive, but nobody was perfect.
Phil hoped it was something they would work on eventually.
“Anyway, I was so proud when you kicked him out last night. He was such a pig for calling you those names when he stormed out, but fuck him,” Sophie continued.
Phil decided he could skip his lecture. He had to figure out what had happened the night before. How the hell had Phil forgotten an entire day?
He muttered a lame goodbye to Sophie before sprinting back in the direction of the dorm.
He arrived, out of breath, and slammed into his desk to pick up the phone line. After a few seconds that felt like an eternity, Martin picked up.
He sounded surprised to hear Phil.
“Didn’t think you’d call so soon. I got the feeling you were mad at me for what I said,” Martin said.
“Martin…This is going to sound weird but…I don’t remember what happened yesterday. At all,” Phil confessed.
There was a pause on the other line. After some concern from his brother and some reassurance that Phil was not mad at him, enough was said that Phil realized that he had lost his memory of the day before.
Not only that but something…or someone had been making decisions for him. Things he would have never done himself. Phil forced himself to message Adam and beg that he forgive him for his lapse in judgment.
After staring at the computer for a few minutes, he was forced to accept he wouldn't get an immediate response from Adam.
Phil launched himself onto the bed. Laying there he was struck by the memory of his nightmare the night before.
Phil was eighteen again, but he wasn’t himself. He was another boy.
The boy had no friends, and he got picked on mercilessly.
When he had smiled at the boy’s family, they had asked him why he was being so strange. He lived out the boy’s life, knowing it was a dream he would wake up from. It was the worst kind of nightmare Phil had ever had.
He sat up.
Maybe it hadn’t been a dream, maybe Phil had been living a stranger's life while they lived his.
The real question was why.
No , screw that.
The real question was, could it happen again ?
It had been a week since the Manchester Guy incident. That’s what Dan was calling it in his head.
He was sure it had happened.
After all, the day after the incident , his family had confronted him about the strange things he had done.
As it turns out, while Dan had been living in the Manchester Boy’s body, that same guy had been living Dan’s life.
Asking odd questions, being generally strange, and smiling at people of all things. Dan never smiled these days.
It was weird though, as much as Dan had searched for the Manchester Guy’s YouTube and Myspace accounts he had no luck in finding either. And for the life of him, Dan couldn't remember the guy’s name.
It was the only thing that had almost convinced him that he dreamt up the whole thing.
He almost gave it up as a fluke, when exactly a week after the incident, it happened again.
Dan woke up to the now familiar sight of Phil’s dorm room.
Dan stretched a bit and took a couple of deep breaths to get rid of his initial panic.
It was going to be alright .
Dan had done this before, he would be back home soon if he could get through the day.
He looked down at himself to make sure he was indeed in the stranger’s body and was shocked to find that he was sleeping naked.
Dan blushed a bit and averted his eyes toward his hands, which he studied with sudden fascination. The fingers were more stubby than his own and pale. He turned them around and sat up in surprise.
Written in ink on his palm were the words, desk, notebook, page two. Surely…surely this message was for Dan?
Nudity forgotten, Dan scrambled to the desk and frantically pulled the notebook he found there up to his nose.
He held his breath as he read through the entire letter that had been written for him.
Hello,
I hope you don't ever have to read this, I don’t know about you but one body-changing experience is enough for me. But in the catastrophic event that this happens again, I think we need some rules.
Please don't touch my Youtube or Myspace. It may seem silly but I think I can make a career out of this, and you wouldn't ruin someone’s career now, would you?
Dan smiled a bit at the way this Phil guy wrote.
Don't do weird things to my body. Treat it the way you would a library book. Take care of it while you use it then return it. Even that sounds weird…but you know what I mean. I will return the favor.
Lastly, please don't break up with any more of my potential boyfriends. I don't have one now thanks to you! Although from what I heard from my friends, I may need to thank you for what you did last time.
Best of Luck,
Phil
P.S. Please go to class, I don't want to fail for not showing up. I left a copy of my schedule in this notebook.
For some reason, Dan was grinning.
Ok , so this was a weird fucked up situation, but Phil seemed like a cool guy. This could be way worse. And really, Dan had always wanted to be a cool guy living in Manchester.
Maybe this situation could be a blessing in disguise.
So Dan followed the rules.
He washed and dressed up. He pointedly ignored Phil’s body as he showered, but allowed himself to admire the cool emo-looking guy staring back at him in the mirror once he put on his clothes and dried his hair.
He went to class and as a gesture of tentative friendship, he even took notes for Phil. Although he didn't understand half of what the professors were yammering on about.
He stayed off the internet and opted instead to hang out with Phil’s housemates, Sophie and James, whom he had met on his first day as Phil Lester. He let them do the talking though, afraid to say the wrong thing.
When nighttime came, he felt almost content. Phil’s life wasn’t perfect but it was miles above his own. He was about to fall asleep when he decided he should leave Phil a note to let him know he had read his letter.
He went to the notebook where Phil had written Dan his letter, and he scribbled out a sentence underneath the p.s. before falling back to bed, where sleep welcomed him with open arms.
Phil woke up for the first time knowing that he was in Dan’s body.
He allowed himself to sulk a little about the inconvenience of this entire situation, but he quickly resigned and got up to start the day.
Phil had left a note asking Dan to carry on as usual and he would do as he promised and return the favor. Which unfortunately would involve going to school for Dan.
Phil was incredibly pleased when he left high school behind, and the idea of going back was not at all pleasant.
He took the bus as he remembered from his last time there. He went to class.
At lunchtime, the abuse began. Phil heard that kid Fred mutter behind him, making his friends giggle with snide comments about Dan’s appearance.
Phil turned to look at the kid and scoffed, catching him in obvious surprise.
Phil had faced a fair bit of bullying too when he was in school. It took him some time to figure it out but now he knew that he had had the power all along to simply tell kids like Fred to piss off.
Of course, it all came with some initial pushback.
Fred, unnerved by Phil’s nonchalance, stood from his seat and stalked over to him. Looking like a giant oaf, he loomed over Phil.
“Did I hear you laugh, gaylord?” Fred spat out.
“No,” Phil said, looking away from the bigger boy.
“Good, cuz you’d be quite dim to laugh at us calling you a fatass,” Fred said, making the boys behind him giggle.
Phil almost laughed too. There was no universe where Dan would be considered anything close to fat. But bullies like Fred didn’t have the mental prowess to come up with anything original.
Phil stood up, unbothered, and waved at Fred and the rest of his cronies. He didn’t stay long enough to watch all their confused faces.
He was early for his next class but it was no big deal, maybe he’d catch up with some of his favorite vlogs on Dan’s phone.
There were already two girls sitting in front of the classroom and Phil sat with them and quickly found out they were both into similar music and movies.
They chatted the entire lunch hour, Dan’s phone forgotten.
The rest of the day was a bit uneventful. Dan’s parents were quiet as was his younger brother.
Phil went to bed early but made sure to leave Dan a note letting him know that the two girls from lunch had invited him to the movies that weekend.
He woke up the next morning in his own body. He groaned and stretched, enjoying the sensation of being in his own familiar bones.
Phil went to check his notebook and found it open on the page where he had written the letter to the boy….god why couldn’t he remember his name?
That’s when he saw the note beneath his P.S.
In a messy scratch, the boy had written, Hi my name is Dan.
Body switching was not all fun and games. Dan enjoyed living vicariously through the boy from Manchester. He was well liked and his online fame had made him a generally popular boy in university.
Dan had also gotten to know him a little through his YouTube videos which he sometimes asked Dan to upload when he was…well busy being in Dan’s body.
It was strange though. They’d both found that it was hard to remember each other’s names when they were in their normal lives. So Dan hadn’t been able to find the boy from Manchester online when he was home.
Dan remembered what the other boy looked like and what he had done while in his body but as soon as he went to type his name into YouTube, he couldn’t remember it.
Dan loved watching him when he helped with the uploads. The boy from Manchester was wonderfully random and impossibly optimistic. Although, he did take his channel very seriously and banned Dan from doing anything other than uploading.
A rule that Dan had seriously considered breaking considering how little he had listened to Dan’s wishes.
Dan just had to survive one more year of high school. He planned to do so by keeping his head low and taking a beating in quiet dignity now and then.
It was becoming impossible to do either one of those things, thanks to the Manchester lad.
To start, he had taken it upon himself to make friends on Dan’s behalf who now dragged him to events and demanded he have lunch with them every day.
Dan wasn’t sure if they were his friends or if they just liked who he was when Manchester boy was living as him. But regardless they were interested in knowing more about Dan and hanging out with him.
It kept him busy in a way he hadn’t been before. And although he found being around other people exhausting, Dan was self-aware enough to recognize that being busy with these tentative friends kept him from wallowing in self-pity for too long.
It was having a good effect on his general state of mind.
But nothing compared to the wonders caused by being out of the closet.
Of course, Dan wasn’t out, but the boy from Manchester was.
His housemates knew, his parents and brother knew, and so did some of his classmates. It was almost painfully freeing.
Living in such freedom was helping in a way nothing else could.
He felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time. He felt hope.
Hello ,
Let me know how the new pizza place is with the girls. I kinda wish I was there for it. I’ve been thinking about our situation and I’m starting to wonder what caused it. I have my theories ranging from aliens to witch curses.
Any thoughts?
In the meantime, I think we should keep going as we have. By the way, what's your favorite food? I’ll try to make it for my lunch so you can have it sometime.
-Phil
P.S. The girl that sits behind you in biology has a crush on you.
Hi,
The pizza was alright, I do wish you had been here since you were the one that incited the whole thing. I don’t mess around much with aliens or curses. I’m more of a stay-at-home and watch YouTube or play video games kind of guy.
I’m trying to cut back on meat, so please eat as little of it as you can when you’re in my body. But I do like a good pizza. Are you a good cook? I’ve been surviving on what your housemates share with me when you’re gone.
I think all the people that have been interested in me in the last few weeks were actually drawn to your personality, you seem like a popular guy.
-Dan
P.S. She’s going to be disappointed. I’m gay. No one knows though, so please don’t out me.
Hello,
I would never do that. I got outed by someone I considered a friend a year ago.
It was one of the hardest times for me, but my life is better now.
I think you’re a lot cooler than you realize. The people in your life can tell something is off when I’m living as you. They ask if I’d like to talk some other time or mention how nice the chat you had the day before was.
I will try not to eat meat or ruin any of your high scores, I’m quite rubbish at the games you play. Never heard of some of these.
Anyway, don't sell yourself short!
-Phil
P.S.
You’re also pretty good-looking,
I like pizza too.
Hi,
Thank you. I don’t know if any of that is true, but I appreciate it.
I think you’re the first person I’ve truly come out to.
Thank you for listening.
-Dan
P.S. You are good-looking too.
Phil scoffed at the note as he read it.
He was not what one would call traditionally attractive. He was sort of coming to terms with it. Alan, his last boyfriend, had once called him ‘freakishly sharp in the face’. Although he did compliment his body afterwards which sort of helped the sting.
It didn’t matter. He was who he was and he couldn’t change it.
Phil put the note in his pocket, dressed for the day, and trotted out of the dorm.
He was glad there had been no body-switching that day as he had forgotten to tell his body-switching partner about his day trip.
Phil made his way to the pickup spot from which Martin would drive him to their grandmother’s house. As was his way, Mart showed up about ten minutes behind.
Phil couldn’t complain though, he was getting a free ride after all.
Phil hadn’t seen his family since before the body switching began but they had all agreed to meet up to go see his grandmother. She was not in the best shape.
Nothing tragic wrong with her, just age. Nonetheless, the family had all realized that their days with her were likely counted and it was best to try and spend as much time with her as possible while they could.
Grandma’s house was just as Phil remembered it from his childhood. It was like a capsule of time with all the old furniture, and static TV. Phil hugged his grandmother tight in greeting while the rest of the family poured in.
He tried to focus on her warmth and not the frailty of her frame.
The evening went smoothly. They had dinner and talked a lot about memories from holidays spent in that house. Phil tried to interest the family in some party games, which they played half-heartedly but in good nature.
Grandma had a hard time keeping up with even simple storytelling games, but she smiled a lot and watched them laugh with fondness.
Afterward, they gathered around the TV. Martin and his dad went to bed first. They had joined the family after long work weeks and the exhaustion had finally caught up to them.
Phil’s mum fell asleep on one of the couches, leaving Phil and his grandmother munching on popcorn and watching an episode of Doctor Who where a group of witches play the villain of the day.
“You know I used to be a witch of sorts,” his grandmother said.
“Were you? Like a proper witch?” Phil asked fondly. His grandmother laughed.
“Well, I wasn’t riding around in no broom. But I’d say I was a proper witch. I would do fortune-telling and place spells. Mostly for my friends,” she confided with humor dripping from her words.
Phil’s interest was effectively stolen from the television.
“What kinds of spells could you do?” he asked, sitting a little closer to his nan, hoping their conversation wouldn’t wake up his tired mum.
“All sorts, love. Although anything to do with relationships was most popular.”
Phil nodded and paused.
“Is it really possible to... you know influence a relationship with spells,” he asked.
His grandmother gave him a put-upon look as if he was being naughty. She took his arm between her frail hands and traced a line from his inner elbow to his palm.
“There is a red string connecting us. It doesn’t follow space or time or anything humans consider logical. If you are a good witch…you may know how to influence the way these strings are tied,” she said with a cheeky smile.
Phil smiled back.
“Of course, there are some strings that are hard to budge. Some have always been and will always be. These bonds, those invisible strings tying two people together, are what people like to call soulmates,” she said, patting his arm and letting Phil go.
That night as he lay awake, Phil stared at his extended arm across the mattress and thought of witches, soulmates, and a boy whose name he couldn’t remember. Until sleep pulled him away.
Hey,
This might be an odd question, but do you believe in fate? Not like being destined for something, but more like soulmates?
I’m just curious about what you think.
-Phil
Hello,
I have never believed in that kind of thing. I’ve always considered myself a skeptic. I like to think rationally when I can.
Although this whole situation has me reconsidering some things.
Also, I broke my arm while fooling around with friends. Might be getting a cast on it today too. Sorry, I realize it sucks. There are pain meds on the upper left cupboard of my bathroom.
-Dan
Hey,
I know that’s not how you broke your arm, silly. The whole school is talking about it.
Just so you know. I think it’s amazing that you finally stood up to Fred. He’s a real ass. And I’m sorry he hurt you, but I can tell you finally scared him off by standing up to him. He wouldn’t even look me in the eye today.
I hoped you would know this by now, but I would never judge you.
And anyway I’m very proud of you.
-Phil
P.S Getting a cast sucks, but I picked a cool one for you.
Dan held the letter with his good hand and smiled as he looked down at his black cast arm.
He traced the name on the letter signature, but even as he ran over his finger over a round ‘P’ he had a hard time retaining the name in his mind for more than a few seconds.
Despite that, there was a real pang in his chest as he thought of the writer. He hadn’t wanted to admit it, but he was forming real feelings for the boy from Manchester.
It wasn’t just his looks or his cool lifestyle, both of which Dan idolized.
This boy was genuinely kind, and unique. He had managed to endear himself to Dan even under their bizarre circumstances. He seemed to truly understand Dan.
He’d helped Dan make friends and stand up to his bullies, while also giving him hope for the future. He had managed to make Dan bold.
Dan didn’t know if this boy would feel the same way.
He was just some high school kid with nothing much to offer, but he figured it wouldn’t hurt to test the waters.
With his new, emboldened attitude Dan decided he would make some sort of move soon.
Dan woke up one morning in a room he didn’t recognize. He looked down and saw the familiar pale limbs that belonged to Phil, but the room was new.
He was under frilly bed sheets and the wallpaper, while well-kept, was well out of fashion. He didn’t see the notebook where they communicated anywhere around.
That’s when Dan realized he wasn’t alone. Martin was sleeping nearby on another twin-sized frilly bed. Phil must be with his family and didn’t want to risk them finding their notes.
Dan snuck out of bed, making sure not to alert Phil’s brother.
The house was dated but quaint. Some feminine touches in the decor made Dan conclude that he was likely in Phil’s grandmother’s house. He had mentioned her before.
And that she was a witch , Dan remembered with a smile.
It was dark out. Probably awfully early based on how dim the light was.
Dan paddled slowly on the cold floor towards what looked like the living room.
He looked around curiously at the nick nacks; fine china, a collection of porcelain dog figurines, and a rack filled with photo frames.
Dan gasped and smiled as he spotted a picture of Phil as a child. He picked it up carefully and struggled to contain his giggles. The round blue eyes were unmistakable, but Phil spotted a full head of bright orange hair.
“Who do we have here?”
Dan almost dropped the photo frame in surprise. He spun around to find an old woman staring at him with a raised eyebrow.
Think fast , Dan thought.
“Gran…Grandma! I was just looking at Ph..my..my old pictures. I was so silly back then,” Dan said, laughing a bit in earnest.
The old woman didn’t move or respond. Instead, she stared cautiously at Dan until he was squirming under her gaze.
“Who are you?” she asked, breaking the silence.
Dan felt his palms clam up. He wasn’t sure where this would all lead. Maybe Phil’s grandmother was a witch after all.
“I’m just….me” Dan answered lamely. The old woman held him under her gaze for just a bit longer before turning around and toward the patio doors.
Dan stared after her, puzzled until she turned back towards him.
“Well, aren’t you coming?”
Dan followed her to the backyard. It was then that he finally noticed that she had been wearing a pair of sturdy gardening gloves. Already dusted with a bit of dark brown soil.
The sun was peeking out of the horizon just enough to make the sky dark blue.
Wherever they were was green and lush, it was a beautiful backyard.
The old woman pulled Dan along by the arm and guided him further out into the woods beyond the backyard. It was beautiful, so much so that Dan kept forgetting how anxious this whole ordeal was making him.
They trudged through a few yards away from the house. Dan was barefoot but the woods out here were so mossy that he hardly noticed.
They came to a halt in front of a blanket that the old woman had clearly brought from inside the house. She had a box laid out and a small shovel.
She sat on her knees on top of the blanket and began to dig at a shallow hole that she had begun digging earlier.
“Err…what’s all this?” Dan asked, scratching his — Phil’s head.
“I feel as if my time on this earth is coming to a close. I don’t particularly enjoy the idea of my soul being tethered to a funeral home or a cemetery so I am tying it down here. This would be some place to rest,” she explained calmly.
Dan watched her hands, which were shaking a bit with the effort of digging. He fell to his knees beside her.
“Is that something that can happen?” He wondered, carefully taking the shovel from her and helping her dig.
She smiled at him for the first time.
“You of all people should know it is possible. You are not from here,” she said kindly.
Dan was at a loss for words, but the old woman only chuckled and patted his leg.
“That should be enough,” she said, taking the shovel from him and placing the box on the ground.
She opened the lid to reveal an odd collection of items. She pulled out a tiny glass jar which she proceeded to fill with grass and dirt which she pulled methodically from around them. Then she stilled and looked at her watch.
“Are you waiting for something?” Dan asked.
“These things are all about timing, dear. But it’s nearly time, ah there it is,” she said looking at the sky.
Dan followed her gaze and gasped. Through the thick greenery, the dark blue sky was suddenly glittering with flying golden stars.
They both looked down at each other and smiled, sharing the moment.
She smiled a bit wider and touched his face.
“So this is who you are,” she said.
Dan felt unexpected tears flood his eyes.
“Why is this happening to me, why are we switching lives?” he asked desperately.
Instead of whipping them away with her thumb, Phil’s grandmother put the jar to his cheeks, letting Dan’s tears fall inside the glass.
“I’m not sure, but it must be for a good reason,” she said, patting his cheeks with compassion.
Above them, the star shower was nearly over. The old woman put the jar inside the box before burying it with soil.
They trudged back into the house together, and Dan began to wonder if he was dreaming. The entire scenario began to take on a glimmer that dreams do.
Phil’s grandmother led Dan back to his room.
When they were at the door she grabbed his hands and smiled at him.
“Do you think there’s something wrong with us…with me?” Dan asked, grasping her hands. He felt like he was floating. Like he was being torn away.
Phil’s grandmother smiled at him once more.
“I'm not sure, dear,” she said kindly.
“I feel like I'm floating away,” Dan blurted out.
Phil’s grandmother led him to his bed and helped him under the covers.
Dan let that force pull him away at last.
Phil spent three days with his grandmother before the day he woke up to find his mum at the foot of his bed. Grandma had passed in her sleep.
He wasn’t one for tears, but he felt a crushing pain in his chest. As the family planned for her service, and what was to be done with the house, Phil slowly felt the pain soften.
He had been lucky to spend her last days by her side. She had seemed ready.
Although, on that first morning, Phil felt like she had been watching him with some scrutiny. Like she was looking for something behind his eyes.
She must have not found whatever she was looking for, because shortly after she resumed being his good old nan.
Phil was very thankful that he was allowed to grieve. There was no body-switching until well after the funeral when he was back in school. At which point, the change of scenery was good for his psyche.
Hello,
Classes were particularly boring today, but I took as many notes as I could.
By the way, what happened to that guy that came to see you that first night?
I’ve never had a boyfriend, but he seemed pretty rubbish at being one.
I hope I’m not prying, feel free to ignore this.
-Dan
Hey,
He was very rubbish. I decided I'm going to stop dating for a while.
I feel like maybe I’m expecting too much. I can be a bit eccentric and weird, and I'm not the type of attractive that makes people overlook those things.
I think I’m better off focusing on the stuff that’s going well for me at school and in my sort of job online.
Don’t worry about any more psycho boyfriends bothering you while you’re here! Besides, I just lost my grandmother. I'm not feeling in the mood for love.
-Phil
P.S. To be honest I feel pretty lonely sometimes, but writing to you really helps.
Hello,
I think you’re one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. Being unique is so rare, I think you should never resent it. And I’ve seen your YouTube comments. You happen to be one of the best-looking people I know of, and many people seem to agree.
Talking to you is one of my favorite things to do these days. You help me feel less lonely too. I'm sorry about your grandmother. I did get to meet her. It was odd, but something that would be hard to explain in a letter.
Would you want to meet up? I think it’s time we finally meet face to face. I’ve always wanted to explore Manchester.
-Dan
Hey,
Next Thursday? Meet me at Manchester station at 1 PM.
-Phil
P.S It’s a date.
Phil’s hands shook as he wrote the last sentence boldly. The other boy seemed interested, but he was way out of Phil’s league. Maybe he was being nice and Phil had managed to cock it up.
In the end, it didn’t matter.
That was the last time they would switch bodies.