Chapter Text
Amanda sipped at her third coffee of the morning. The previous two cups had barely affected her. She resumed her task of browsing through their vic's social media accounts as she waited on access to phone records. Searching for any hints as to who Emma Peters could've been with last night so far had produced no results. Thirty minutes into a rabbit hole that consisted of bouncing around the Instagram profiles of several classmates tagged in Emma's photos, Fin broke the silence.
"What are you doing back?" Fin asked.
Amanda turned her eyes up in time to catch Velasco's return to his desk. He slumped down into his seat. "Emma's nurse said that between the surgery and recovery time, I'd be waiting around for hours. They'll call as soon as she's out of surgery," Velasco said.
The poor girl was just a teenager. A witness called the police last night when they saw a young white female shoved out of a moving vehicle. No description noted on the driver. Emma's t-shirt was ripped and she was missing all coverings on her bottom half, so naturally the responding officers on scene suspected a sex crime. Thus, SVU was called in. Velasco and Amanda were the two on call rotation this week. When they arrived Amanda assessed the scene, while Velasco accompanied Emma to the hospital. The teenager remained unconscious but stable. From neighbors, Amanda found out that the parents were on vacation in Florida. She got a hold of the appropriate contact information. The parents said that they would book a flight back. After that, it became a waiting game as there wasn't much to go by at the scene. Only the distracted witness, Emma's purse and clothing. No traffic cams nor ring cameras. Amanda had joined Velasco at the hospital. They wouldn't know anything for sure until Emma woke up. The doctors informed them that Emma would need surgery for her shattered femur, but they were hesitant to take her into surgery until she regained consciousness. Around 2am Velasco volunteered to stay at the hospital alone. He did so with a smirk that Amanda chose to ignore.
"She gave consent for a rape kit, which they did before rushing her into surgery to reconstruct her femur," Velasco reported.
It was an awful course of events for Emma. Amanda wondered about her state of mind and what sort of statement she gave.
"Did she say anything when she woke up?" Amanda asked.
"The doctors wouldn't wait for me to talk. The only thing she said to me is that she's worried she would be in trouble with her parents," Velasco said.
"Her parents should be the ones worrying," Amanda replied with more than a little heat.
If those parents had been home, maybe none of this would've ever happened. Those parents left a minor unsupervised for a week. They should be worried, not Emma. No way any loving parents would leave their kid like that. For Amanda no vacation would ever take precedence over Billie or Jesse.
"When does their flight land?" Velasco asked, while looking like he could barely keep his head up.
"Not until tonight," Amanda informed Velasco. "They decided to take a later flight to save money. Real pieces of work," she grumbled. The whole thing set her on edge. She didn't know if she would be able to remain impartial towards the parents.
He sighed, rubbing his face in exhaustion.
"Hey, I think I have some eye drops," she said, taking pity on him. She pulled out the side drawer of her desk and shifted a few things around. A couple of the single use portions were left in the little makeup bag she kept on hand for long shifts. "Yea. I have some. You want 'em?" She offered.
He nodded. "Please."
She broke off two of the small vials and tossed them his way.
He tilted his head towards the ceiling, held the small vial over each eye, and popped in the drops. "Thank you," he sighed in relief.
"Look, man, you're probably gonna be worthless in an hour, so why don't you catch a few in the cribs?" Fin suggested.
"Yea, that sounds fantastic," Velasco agreed. He unwrapped his foil covered breakfast sandwich and took a bite. "I will as soon as I'm done this."
Velasco looked like hell. Although most people did after pulling an all-nighter in the ER. On paper, sitting idly in the ER waiting room sounded like a cakewalk. But Amanda knew the reality. Sleep deprivation, even for one night, could wreak havoc on your body. Losing a whole night's worth of sleep was physically and emotionally draining, especially without any prior warning. Amanda really did feel for him, especially after his gesture of sparing her a similar fate.
Work needed to be done. She checked her email. Still no response from the phone company. She went back to scrolling through the vast photo feed. There appeared to be multiple posts per day, including everything from memes to scenic photography. She'd learned far too much about the high school basketball team. There were a few brow-raising comments on some of the photos from who appeared to be Emma's peers. She jotted down notes and continued to do so until she could no longer ignore the unmistakable feeling of eyes boring holes into her skull.
Her gaze flickered up and to her left only to find Velasco reclined back in his seat, chewing on the last vestiges of his bagel as he studied her.
"Something on my face?" She asked instead of saying the pricklier thing that first popped into her head.
He swallowed his next bite. "No. Just wondering if you rekindled your night with the mystery man. You've got circles under your eyes worse than mine," he pointed out.
Asshole.
She clenched her teeth together and gave him a death glare. She'd hoped that in the haze of exhaustion, he might've forgotten all about that.
"Mystery man?" Fin piped up from his desk.
"Oh, you didn't hear?" Velasco asked Fin after smugly wiping his face with a napkin. "Rollins had special plans last night that were interrupted by our call in." He paused, then continued. "Special plans in the form of getting marked up by a guy."
Fin scowled. "Marked up?"
"The good kind of marks," Velasco clarified, gesturing to his chest and neck area.
It took everything inside of her not to reach up and readjust her blouse. She'd picked out the high neckline this morning for a reason.
The choice not to give herself a once over in the mirror before showing up to the crime scene at midnight last night would haunt her for weeks to come. She'd leaned over to collect Emma's cell phone from the ground only to be interrupted by Velasco's sudden laughter. Damn. Interrupted plans? He'd asked as his eyes zeroed in on her chest. She'd immediately looked down only to find her shirt buttons misaligned. The exposed skin at the base of her neck and collar bone had put her fresh hickeys on full display.
"So did you wake him up for another round when you got home?" Velasco asked, grinning.
She shot him a death glare. "Don't you have a nap to take?"
"All I'm saying is so much for, 'I'm going home to a night of eating chocolates on my couch with Jesse and Billie' ," Velasco imitated her voice as he repeated her words from yesterday.
She had gone home to do just that with her girls, only with the addition of another person. Her secret boyfriend.
"Well don't take it personal, Velasco. She didn't tell me either," Fin piped up with a frown.
Amanda flashed back to their exchange in the elevator yesterday.
None of them could quite believe it. It was Valentine's Day and their work day was ending at four on the dot. Giving voice to their luck would be a cop faux pas so they left the situation unspoken as to not jinx it. Once in the elevator, Fin's usual unreadable expression was nowhere to be found. He looked almost giddy.
Amanda raised her brow in interest. "What's got you smiling so much?"
"Ken got me last minute reservations at this real fancy place. Phoebe's gonna love it."
"Oh." She smiled at his happiness.
The joy on his face faltered a bit. "How bout you? Got a sitter?" He inquired.
She broke eye contact, staring down at her shoes. "Just a quiet night with the girls," she said with a shrug.
It wasn't exactly a lie. She wanted it that way, even insisted on it. As far as she was concerned Valentine's Day was just an excuse for most people to make up for their emotional inadequacies with monetary displays. Empty gifts bought and given by significant others out of obligation. She preferred love to be shown on ordinary days. The spontaneous and meaningful sort of love.
The entire holiday reminded her too much of Al and the way he'd try to apologize for any wrongdoing with an oversized bouquet of flowers or an expensive meal. Everything always had to be so over the top to ensure maximum attention. Instead, in a much greater upgrade, tonight she and Sonny would make it an early bedtime for the girls, then cook a dish together in her apartment. It would be quiet. Nothing fancy and most importantly nothing in public where they would be met with crowds and traffic. All of which was completely unappealing to her. She would much rather have an intimate dinner for just the two of them. Simply celebrating each other the way Valentine's Day should be spent.
"Listen, Phoebe's got this friend. She thinks the two of you would hit it off. I know it's a little last minute, but I can send you his number. Maybe the two of you could grab a couple of bar seats somewhere?" Fin suggested hopefully.
She smiled politely at his thoughtfulness. It was a sweet gesture. "That sounds nice, but finding a sitter at four o'clock on Valentine's Day?"
"Look, Amanda, I'm not gonna lie. I'm - I was just thinking that maybe you'd like to get out....have some fun after everything that's been going down," he said with concern.
He was referring to the mess of Bob Flynn and the ongoing IAB investigation into her actions related to the Kaplans and Bob Flynn's death. Mitch Kaplan had attempted to publicly throw the blame NYPD's way for Bob's murder. Liv had assured her that the investigation was just a formality and that IAB had no grounds for anything. She knew that was true but being questioned still rattled her. Especially with her unsavory history. At work there'd been that, but at home - God, things were good. Really, really good. She swallowed down the urge to tell Fin that she was being taken care of. More than.
"Fin, I'm fine. Really. I'm happy with where I am," she said, stepping out of the elevator and away from his scrutiny.
"If you say so." He shot her a skeptical look and bid her goodnight.
Now, at her desk, Amanda watched Fin as he processed the realization that she'd lied to his face about being alone last night. She hated when he looked at her like that. It was a bitter reminder of the way things used to be. When he would ask if she'd started gambling again and she'd deny it, while they both knew she was lying. That had been a bad habit to hide, but her relationship with Sonny was nothing of the sort.
"Fin..." She trailed off, apologies dying on her lips. What could she say? She didn't want to reveal her relationship with Sonny like this.
"Don't worry about it, Amanda," Fin dismissed, but she could tell he was a little hurt by her lies even if she didn't overtly do so this time around. A lie by omission was still purposeful deceit.
"There's nothing to be ashamed about." Velasco shrugged nonchalantly. "We all gotta scratch the itch. Sometimes with a one-night stand."
The assumption that what happened last night was just a roll in the sheets when it was so much more didn't sit right with her. It almost felt like a slight against everything Sonny meant to her. She quickly grew defensive on his behalf.
"It's not like that," she blurted out before her brain could catch up.
"Ohhhh." Velasco sat up, intrigued. "So you like him like him," he taunted.
All at once she felt as if she'd been transported back to high school. She and Sonny were going to come out with it soon anyway, so she saw no harm in giving up a little bit of information to get them off her back.
"I do," she finally said succinctly, hoping that would be the end of it.
"How's the sex with a guy who marks you like that?" Velasco inquired.
"Seriously?" She scoffed, eyes darting around the bullpen to look for stray listeners. It wouldn't be the first time some random bystander would join their conversation because of Velasco. He wasn't exactly quiet.
"What?" He gestured as if his words were no big deal. "I'm in between relationships at the moment. Let me live vicariously through you."
The sex between her and Sonny? Where to begin? Fantastic, she thought, but would never tell Velasco. They were so in tune with one another. That connection and attentiveness with her best friend became overwhelming at times. It was the least selfish sex she'd ever had. And by that she meant they were completely focused on each other's pleasure. Something that had been new and foreign to her, yet oh so worth the wait. The smile came to her face all on its own.
"It's that good, huh?" Velasco asked, flashing her a cheeky grin.
He was a pig.
"It's not just about that," she quickly explained.
"Right, it's about the emotional connection. Does he hold your hand and listen to your hopes and dreams?" He batted his eyes in an exaggerated manner.
She ignored him.
"Sounds like more than one night," Fin said, pretending not to be paying attention to the conversation. But she'd clocked the way his fingers hadn't picked up any movement over his keyboard in over a minute.
Despite her deep-rooted fears about the pressure of having their relationship in the public eye, the secret had been wearing on her for a while now. Unable to touch or talk to Sonny as she wanted to when he was around the squad had proven to be much more difficult than she'd originally anticipated. It was hard. It was isolating. It was exhausting. And suddenly she couldn't stand the thought of anyone thinking that she wasn't in the best relationship of her entire life.
"It all makes sense now," Velasco abruptly announced as if he'd been struck by an epiphany of the highest order.
Her stomach dropped. No way had Velasco figured it out.
"What?" She hesitantly questioned.
"That night of the fight that never was...Tommy Baker's...." Velasco trailed off, directing his words at Fin.
"What about it?" Fin asked.
"Rollins and I went to the bar to watch last minute," Velasco said, then turned back to her. "I thought it was a little weird how fast your sitter responded. But you didn't need a sitter at all, did you? You had Mr. Hickey already covering for you at home."
Without even realizing it her eyes darted away. What could she say? He was right. There was never a question whether Sienna could stay because the girl had been relieved earlier that night by Sonny. The text she'd sent had been directed at him, letting him know what she was doing. Everything she'd said to Velasco about sitters and time and half had been a lie.
That got Fin's attention. "Alone with Jesse and Billie? Just how long have you been bringing this guy around?" He asked, suspiciously eying her.
Years, she thought. Since Jesse's birth, Sonny had been a steady presence in her personal life. There had been countless nights filled with the changing of diapers, the soothing of cries, and home cooked meals. All times of Sonny just being a great friend and an even better godfather.
"Long enough," she said, dodging the question. They could fill in the blanks themselves.
"Weeks?" Velasco guessed.
She stared back at him impassively.
Fin's brows skyrocketed. "Months?"
She dared not make a move.
"Before my wedding?" He asked slowly.
That was oddly specific. "You mean your not wedding ?" She tossed back defensively.
Somehow Fin took that as confirmation. "Why didn't you tell me? You coulda brought a plus one."
"I never said I needed one," she said, refusing to admit to anything concrete.
"Mhm," he murmured, not believing that one bit. "So he watches the girls. You must trust him with them. And how's he with you? Besides the physical."
He knew her history. Knew that if it came down to it, she would put the girls' happiness above her own. In this case she didn't have to. She was so happy.
"He treats me like- like no one ever has before," she said, ducking her head a bit, trying not to get caught up in revealing more information. The thought of Sonny and everything he meant to her nearly stole all her breath. She couldn't imagine life without him next to her.
Velasco scoffed. "Where'd you meet him? In a Disney movie?"
Call me Sonny , he'd requested, all mustache clad and over the top. Barely a second later, he'd handed her a bag of pastries as she'd stared at him in equal parts shock and amusement. That version of Sonny had been like a ridiculous caricature of the man he was today.
Definitely not a Disney movie beginning.
As for the real answer to Velasco's question, well they'd met about ten feet from his current position. There was no way she could say that aloud though, so she took a moment to come up with some other answer. Besides the park and the grocery store, there were not many other places she frequently ventured on account of the girls. She couldn't think of a place where she could've met someone. Fin and Velasco continued to stare at her expectantly. It was then that she realized that they were truly invested in this. Her phone buzzed atop her desk. An idea came to her.
"A....dating app," she murmured, inwardly cringing. In her experience, the pool of potentials through online dating weren't exactly stellar. Although neither were Al or Declan and she'd met them both in person.
"Seriously?" Velasco said unimpressed.
That was easy to say for someone who had the freedom to go out anytime and anywhere he wanted. Amanda dropped all pretenses of working.
"Yea. Seriously. I've got two kids. I work a lot. How else am I supposed to meet someone?" She asked exasperatedly.
"I've got friends," Velasco insisted.
Fin snorted. "Yea like she wants to date an eighteen-year-old."
"Fine. You have a picture of this old guy?" Velasco asked.
"Nope," she denied immediately. An outright lie. By now, she had hundreds of photos of Sonny in her phone's memory. Most of them were with the girls, but there were quite a few of just the two of them, and even more that she'd secretly snapped of him cooking or sleeping or anytime she'd thought he looked particularly endearing. Those were for her eyes only though.
"What, he a freak that doesn't want his mugshot taken?" Fin asked, unimpressed.
Quite the opposite. Carisi was the one making sure that said freaks were put away. Coincidentally he also loved pictures.
"He's private," she explained simply, another lie.
"So you met him through an app. Where you must've seen a picture of him before agreeing to a date. But you say you can't get a picture now...how's that work?" Fin asked, immediately poking holes in her story.
"He deleted his profile," she quickly covered.
"You don't have any pictures of him on your phone?" Fin asked.
"That's pretty suspicious, Rollins," Velasco added before she could get a word in edgewise.
She rolled her eyes, tired of the third degree. At this rate they might as well march her off to interrogation room one. "God, can't you two just be happy for me?"
Eyes sweeping the bullpen, Fin fastened her with an unimpressed look. "With the type of clientele we see everyday? Not till I meet him."
"Good luck with that," she muttered.
"Well if he's as great as you say he is he's gonna be sticking around. Might as well get the introductions over now," Fin challenged.
She met his eye. "He is as great as I say. I really, really like him." Maybe, I love him too. But they didn't need to know that.
"What's that mean? We gonna chase him off?" He asked in mock offense.
So far you haven't . She laughed a little to herself at that. "No. He's not like that."
"Right, sounds like it," Velasco murmured sarcastically.
Fin continued to stare at her in concern.
"I know what you're thinking," she said. Her piss poor track record with men was nothing new to Fin. Al, Declan, and Nate weren't exactly in the running to be the next prince charming. "But he's different. He's- it's real this time. There's a future there."
Fin opened his mouth to retort, but Amanda was saved from hearing it.
"Okay. Sorry, I've been so tied up," Liv said walking between their desks, clueless as to what she was interrupting.
The three of them sat up straighter.
"Where are we on the family?"
//tbc//