Work Text:
Shotaro felt horrible all day. He had come down with a cold earlier in the week and despite a trip to the health clinic, his cold would not leave him. His nose was stuffy and clogged leaving him with a pounding headache and his center of balance was completely off. Despite this RIIZE had a performance today and Shotaro needed to be a part of it.
Shotaro dragged himself throughout the day barely aware of what was happening around him as a stylist handed him clothes and make-up artists applied and reapplied makeup as he kept sweating through his foundation. Noticing how ill Shotaro looked and how much he was sweating, Eunseok approached him. “Hey, are you okay?” Eunseok asked, peering at Shotaro in concern.
“I don't feel well and I am sweating so much,” Shotaro whined.
“You still don't feel well?” Eunseok asked, pressing a hand to Shotaro’s flushed face.
Shotaro pressed his face back into Eunseok’s cold hands seeking any kind of relief. “One-sec hyung,” Eunseok said, leaving to find their manager.
“Hyung there is a problem,” Eunseok said, walking up to their manager.
“What is it, Eunseok?” Their manager asked.
“Shotaro has a fever,” Eusneok replied.
“Still?” Their manager asked, sighing.
“Yeah he keeps sweating through his makeup,” Eunseok explained.
“I'll go check on him,” Their manager assured, heading off to find Shotaro.
Their manager went in search of Shotaro, finding him laying on the couch in their dressing room, his head resting in a concerned Sungchan’s lap. “Is everything ok? Eunseok mentioned that Shotaro still wasn't feeling well,” Their manager asked.
“Hot” Shotaro whined.
Concerned, their manager placed a hand on Shotaro’s forehead and it was indeed fairly warm. Ideally, Shotaro would be able to sit out the performance but on such short notice unless he was in the emergency room he would need to perform. “Shotaro I hate to do this but you need to perform. The performance is only two songs then as soon as it is done you can rest and I'll cancel your schedule for tomorrow,” Their manager explained feeling guilty.
“Okay,” Shotaro hesitantly agreed, lifting his head up.
“Hyung I don't think…” Sungchan started looking worried.
“I can do one performance it will be fine,” Shotaro assured, sitting up fully.
“Thank you really this is a huge help,” Their manager thanked, rushing off to clear Shotaro’s schedule for tomorrow.
Ten minutes before their performance the rest of RIIZE was anxiously waiting for Shotaro who had sweated through his makeup yet again. “Is this really a good idea?” Wonbin questioned, worried about Shotaro’s health.
“Yeah, I don't think hyung should perform,” Sohee agreed.
“Because of the contract, Shotaro has to perform unless he is in the emergency room,” Sungchan explained.
“If he performs he will be,” Eusneok stated grimly.
Before RIIZE could continue their conversation a sweaty Shotaro walked over with their manager “Alright Shotaro isn't feeling his best so keep an eye on him during the performance,” Their manager explained.
“Hyung, are you sure you’re okay to perform?” Anton piped up.
“I’ll be fine, don't worry,” Shotaro assured, forcing a smile.
“If you're sure,”
RIIZE went on to perform without a hitch except for Shotaro. Now unless you were Shotaro or someone else who knew the choreo really well and were actively searching for it you wouldn’t have noticed it but Shotaro had dropped to his knees too hard during the first verse leaving him stunned, and in pain, and maybe half a beat behind the others as he rushed to recover and catch up as well as push through the intense pain in his knees. Shotaro was barely able to push through the pain and finish the less-than-satisfactory performance.
As soon as they were dismissed off the stage Shotaro bolted to the nearest bathroom on the verge of tears. Concerned RIIZE watched as Shotaro took off down the hall fearing the worst Sungchan and Eunseok hurried after him telling the others to go back to their dressing room and change. Arriving in front of the bathroom, Eunseok gently knocked.
“Occupied,” Shotaro called out his voice wobbly.
“Hyung can let us in?’ Eunseok asked gently.
“No, go away!” Shotaro cried.
“Please we are worried about you,” Sungchan pleaded.
There was a long pause and Eunseok was worried that they would need to find someone to unlock the door. When there was a soft click and a moment later the door opened a sliver. Seizing the opportunity Sungchan pushed his way in. Shotaro was standing next to the door, his eyes red and puffy from crying. “What's wrong hyung?”Sungchan cooed, moving forward to pull Shotaro into a hug.
“Are you hurt? Do you feel worse?” Eunseok questioned, eyeing Shotaro.
“My my performance was horrible. Why did I agree? I did so poorly and and everyone could tell,” Shotaro sobbed.
“What are you talking about? You did great,” Sungchan insisted.
“Yeah, I didn't notice any mistakes. You might not have been as hyper as other times but you’re sick and still did well,” Eunseok comforted.
“You don’t need to lie, I was horrible,” Shotaro wailed.
Sungchan and Eunseok exchanged a look both having no idea what Shotaro was talking about since from what they could tell he did fine. “How about we go back to the dressing room and then you change and rest and then later once you feel better and calmer we can talk about what you mean,” Sungchan suggested.
Shotaro nodded aggressively, rubbing at his eyes. The trio made their way back to the dressing room where the other four were already changed into their street clothes. Taking one look at Shotaro their manager rushed over and began fussing over checking if the fever had gotten any higher and if Shotaro threw up. Feeling sensitive and embarrassed, Shotaro shook their manager off and grabbed his clothes going to change. “ Did Shotaro make any mistakes in the choreo?” Sungchan asked, pulling off his stage outfit.
“I don't think so,” Sohee answered thinking back to their performance.
“I think he was like half beat behind at one point but otherwise no,” Wonbin said.
“Why?” Seunghan questioned.
“He’s convinced that he did a horrible job and kept talking about how bad it was,” Sungchan explained, pulling his shirt on.
“I can ask for a copy of the footage before it is published but I didn't notice anything major,” Their manager offered.
Just then Shotaro walked back in his street clothes, his stage outfit balled up in his hands. “Are you ready?” Their manager questioned peering at Shotaro with sympathy.
Shotaro didn’t say anything, just gave a small nod grabbing his bag from the couch.
With each passing moment, RIIZE was getting more and more worried. Shotaro didn't say a single thing the entire ride home and when they got to their dorm Shotaro ran to his room locking the door behind him. Shotaro basically never locked the door and whenever he was sick he always wanted to cuddle and be around the others so for him to be acting like this something must be very wrong.
Shotaro felt horrible. He was sick and his knees hurt way more than they should have. In fact, when he was changing he noticed a massive bruise forming on both of them. But above the physical pain, he felt horrible mentally. He had messed up the dance. Dance was the one thing he was good at and he couldn't even get that right. To add he was the oldest but the others were always worrying about him and caring for him like a younger member so he wasn't good at either of his roles in the team. Shotaro lay on his bed letting his feeling of self-doubt take over his fever-addled mind.
Shotaro had been in his room for too long. It had been almost two hours since they got home and none of them had seen or heard anything from Shotaro since he entered his room. With mounting concern, Wonbin approached Shotaro's door knocking. After a moment of no response, Wonbin knocked again this time shouting, “Hyung are you okay? we are all worried.”
When there was still no response, Wonbin began to panic. He raced back to the kitchen where Sungchan and Seunghan were nervously waiting. “What did he say?” Sungchan asked, looking up.
“He didn't answer,” Wonbin said.
“What?” Sungchan demanded.
“I tried knocking and shouting but he didn't answer. I'm super worried,” Wonbin explained, wringing his hands.
“I have a spare key for the door. I’ll grab it,” Sungchan said, standing up and heading to his room.
Grabbing the key Sungchan approached the door knocking one more time “Since you aren’t answering I am going to unlock the door now,” He shouted.
Hearing no response Sungchan used his key pushing open the door. Sungchan, Wonbin, and Seunghan rushed into Shotaro’s bedroom looking around in panic before finally spotting Shotaro lying on the floor near his closet. Sungchan immediately approached, fearing something was really wrong. Bending down Sungchan gently nudged Shotaro rolling him onto his back. Shotaro let out a weak groan pain flaring through his body. Sungchan sagged in relief hearing Shotaro groan. “Taro Taro I need you to wake up,” Sungchan said, gently shaking Shotaro.
Shotaro let out another groan shifting slightly. Shotaro weakly mumbled something shifting slightly. “What was that? What did you say?” Sungchan gently pried, leaning his head closer to Shotaro’s mouth.
“Bad,” Shotaro slurred.
“Bad? What do you mean by bad?” Sungchan asked, confused.
“M bad. No good,” Shotaro repeated, refusing to open his eyes.
“No, no you’re not bad. You’re sick. Let us take care of you,” Sungchan said, giving Wonbin and Seunghan a look that he needed help.
“No! No! No!” Shotaro shouted, startling all of them.
Sungchan anxiously watched as Shotaro began to thrash and try to pull away from him. “What do we do?” Wonbin asked.
“We should take him to the hospital, something is really wrong,” Sungchan declared.
“I’ll call!” Seunghan volunteered, running out of the room.
The RIIZE dorm was a flurry of movement as their manager arrived and took the delirious Shotaro to the emergency room where he was emitted for flu and dehydration.
Shotaro woke up to the sound of beeping and voices softly speaking above him. Groaning Shotaro weakly opened his eyes, blinking as he was blinded by the bright lights. “Hyung you’re awake!” Sohee shouted, ending the others' conversation.
Instead of responding Shotaro let a feeble whine, screwing his eyes shut. While physically Shotaro felt a bit better although not great but then the memories of his mistake on stage as well as the members needing to care for him. Shotaro was overwhelmed with the feeling of failure and of being a burden to the team. Shotaro let out a choked noise as he began to cry, his heart rate monitor speeding up. “Hyung, what’s wrong?” Seunghan asked.
“What’s happening?” Sohee questioned.
“Do you need a nurse?” Anton asked.
“Guys take a step back from Taro,” Sungchan directed, pressing the nurse call button.
Shotaro didn’t respond, just sobbing harder. The six of them watched helplessly wanting to comfort Shotaro but not sure what was wrong.
A moment later a nurse walked in to check on Shotaro before announcing that the six of them needed to leave the room. With one last look at Shotaro, they filed out of the room leaving Shotaro alone with the nurse. “How are you feeling?” The nurse asked, unhooking Shotaro’s heart monitor.
“My head and knees hurt but I feel way better than I did,” Shotaro answered after a moment of thought.
“That’s good when your friends brought you in yesterday you had quite the fever,” The nurse kindly explained, checking the last of Shotaro’s vitals.
“I did?”
“Yeah, your friends wouldn’t leave you alone. The six of them spent the whole night making sure you were okay. It’s good to have people care for you like that. Now it looks like you are good to be discharged. I have a couple of forms that need to be signed and then you can go home,” The nurse announced.
Hearing that the members had stayed up all night filled Shotaro with guilt. Instead of resting, they were worried about him. Shotaro slowly climbed out of the hospital bed looking around for Shoes but seeing none. Just then the door burst back open. “Hyung the nurse said you can go home!” Seunghan enthusiastically cheered.
Shotaro smiled weakly, saying, “I don’t have shoes.”
“You weren't wearing any when we brought you in. Don’t worry though I’ll just give you a piggyback ride,” Sungchan explained, crouching in front of Shotaro.
Nodding awkwardly, Shotaro climbed onto Sungchan’s back.
Arriving back at the dorm it was clear to RIIZE that there was something more than just illness going on. Sungchan placed Shotaro on the living room couch and before he could run away Wonbin pulled him into a hug holding him in place as Sungchan went to sit on his other side. Shotaro nervously glupped not sure where this was going. “Hyung we wanted to talk about,” Eunseok began.
“It’s nothing bad,” Sungchan immediately assured, noting Shotaro’s anxiety.
“Yeah just earlier after the performance and then at the hospital you kept saying 'bad' and that you did horrible and were sorry,” Wonbin explained, gently taking Shotaro's hands in his.
“Oh,” Shotaro mumbled, looking down.
“Can you tell us what you meant? We are all worried,” Sohee asked.
“I just I messed up in the performance and now you all have to care for me. Like I’m the oldest and and I’m supposed to be the main dancer but I’m doing a good job at either of those,” Shotaro confessed.
“That’s not true at all,” Sohee objected.
“Yeah, you are a great hyung and dancer. One mistake isn’t the end of the world,” Seunghan comforted.
“And you’re a great hyung you take care of all of us and provide comfort for all the,” Anton insisted.
“Just because you’re the oldest doesn’t mean that you don’t need to be cared for,” Eunseok assured.
“Yeah I love taking care of you hyung,” Sungchan enthusiastically agreed.
“I guess,” Shotaro mumbled.
“I think we should talk about this more when you feel one hundred percent, but Shotaro we are happy to take care of you while you don’t feel well,” Sungchan insisted, ending the conversation for now. “Now come on, let's get you to bed and Eunseok can make you some soup.”