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Satoru watched as Suguru ignored his phone for the fifth time in a row. "So... you're just not gonna pick that up?" she asked, feigning clueless. She knew exactly who was calling; his mother. She remembered all too clearly what he had told her that day. I haven't been able to talk to my parents for weeks. Just hearing their voices disgusts me.
She had met Mr. and Mrs. Geto before, a few times actually. They had always been kind to her, warm and welcoming which was the opposite of her own parents. And beyond exasperation and annoyance, Suguru had never expressed having any issues with them. Which was why she couldn't believe he didn't love them simply because they weren't sorcerers.
Suguru wouldn't look at her. "It's not important," he murmured, shoving his phone in his pocket. They were in his apartment, the girls on either side of him watching their cartoons intently.
Satoru sighed, sprawling herself across the couch. Well, more like sprawling herself across poor Shoko who tried- and failed- to shove her away. "Get off!" the brunette complained. "You're heavy!"
She pouted. "I am not!" she insisted.
Shoko grunted with annoyance, but maneuvered herself so that Satoru was laying in her lap. She chuckled as the taller girl burrowed into her thigh. "Careful, Toru, we'll make Geto jealous if we keep this up," she teased.
Satoru grinned wickedly, peering at their guy friend over her shades. "That true? You feeling envious over there?"
Suguru rolled his eyes at the two of them. "Drowning in it," he drawled.
Shoko hummed in thought. "Did the two of you hear that Nanami quit?"
She almost choked on her own spit. "Really?" she demanded. Why hadn't she been aware of this? She and Nanami weren't close- not like him and Shoko were (she was close with both underclassmen for whatever reason), but she had never known him to be a quitter. He did the work even if he really didn't want to. Haibara's death must have affected him more than he let on.
Suguru nodded, satisfied. "That's good for him," he remarked. "After everything... that's good."
Her stomach churned, as it often did when she thought of Haibara. Thoughts she desperately tried to shove away forced their way into her head. I should have been there, they needed me and I wasn't there for them, Haibara died because of me, my fault, my fault, my-
"Satoru." Suguru was in front of her, kneeling beside the couch. His fingers were resting gently against her cheek; Infinity had allowed him to touch her just as it always did even at her worst moments. Making contact- real, physical contact- with him at times like this was always jarring, but it was enough to snap her back into reality.
She blinked at him once, twice. "Suguru," she said slowly, testing out his name on her suddenly heavy tongue. She blinked through bleary eyes, willing her vision back into focus. "'m okay."
Shoko and Suguru shared a look, but didn't say anything else.
Mimiko and Nanako didn't know what had happened, but seemed to sense that Satoru was distressed. So they both clambered over to her, patting her cheeks and telling her everything was okay. A lump formed in her throat; what had she done to deserve such sweet little girls in her life? She held Mimiko in her lap while Nanako slumped against her side.
"When are we gonna meet them?" asked Mimiko a few moments later.
Satoru furrowed her eyebrows. "Who?"
"Your kids," Nanako clarified, her tiny hands buried in long white locs.
"My-?" She accusingly peered over her glasses at Suguru.
Suguru slapped his forehead. "Mimi, Nana, remember I wasn't supposed to tell you that," he reminded them. He whistled lowly when he caught her glare, purposely not meeting her eyes. Coward.
They shrugged unapologetically. "We wanna meet them," stressed the blond. "Geto's boring."
"Sometimes," her sister chimed in. "We wanna meet them before school starts so we'll have friends. Okay?"
Suguru sighed. "Girls, I told you that they just moved in with Satoru. We should give them time to adjust before you overwhelm them."
"Oh, that won't be a problem with Tsumiki," Satoru cut in before she could stop herself. She should have been telling them that Tsumiki and Megumi weren't her kids, that she wasn't a mom. But the words wouldn't come out. "She's open and friendly to just about anyone. I think she'd like you two a lot. Megumi, though, is a bit shy."
Shy was probably an understatement. Megumi was a loner, to the point where Satoru was afraid he was actually antisocial. He was still wary around her even after moving in with her and didn't seem to like anyone other than Tsumiki. Still, she adored her introverted little sea urchin.
Shoko gave her a blank look. "Satoru, please tell me you didn't leave your kids home alone," she deadpanned.
Satoru's mouth popped open in false shock. "Shoko!" she whined, offended. "I can't believe you think so little of me! I would never!" She wasn't that irresponsible, jeez.
Suguru raised an eyebrow. "Then where are they, Satoru?" he asked disbelievingly.
Betrayal. Betrayal on all fronts. "For both of your information, they're at summer camp," she sniffed. The camp had a dance program Tsumiki had shown interest in, que Satoru signing her up immediately. To her surprise, Megumi hadn't fought her when she suggested he go too. She supposed he wanted to be around if his sister needed him.
How cute.
Satoru felt no remorse about Mimiko and Nanako now begging Suguru to enroll them in summer camp. That was what he got for being a bitch. But she supposed she didn't mind saving him. "I think enrollment is closed now," she told the girls. "I'll get you in next year so that you all can go together. How's that sound?"
They cheered at that, and Satoru stuck her tongue out at Suguru in victory.
XXX
"Okay, I better get going now," announced Satoru later when the girls went to their room to play with the dollhouse she'd gotten them. "Megumi and Tsumiki will be home soon."
"How are they, by the way?" asked Shoko. She had met the kids when Satoru had brought them to her for a checkup. They were both fairly healthy, if a little malnourished (Tsumiki more so, probably due to making sure Megumi ate before her). She had instructed Satoru to make sure they ate sizeable, well-balanced meals to which she strictly stuck to.
"Good," she answered. "I've been following the meal plan you gave me. Megumi doesn't like vegetables, so I've been grinding them into his ramen.
"Hypocrite," coughed Suguru. "You don't eat vegetables either."
Satoru cringed. "Because they're yucky," she said. What was the point of being the Strongest if you still had to eat your vegetables? "'Sides, it's not like I need them like a six-year-old does."
"Actually-" chimed in Shoko.
Satoru covered her ears. "Sorry, can't hear you."
"What was that about her not being a six-year-old?" mused Suguru. He chuckled and skillfully dodged the wooden spoon she lobbed at his head.
"I should actually go too," Shoko decided, heading towards the door. "There's only so much of you two I can take."
Satoru waved. "Bye Sho!" she called out to her friend as she walked out of the apartment. She pouted as the other girl left, already missing her. She felt like she didn't see her nearly as much as she should.
"What's wrong?" asked Suguru.
Satoru pouted harder. "I like Shoko," she told him insistently.
"More than me?" he teased her.
"Yes," she answered without hesitation.
Suguru smiled at her before his face sobered. "It wasn't your fault," he told her softly.
She felt her mouth settle into a flat line. "I don't know what you're talking about," she deflected even though she absolutely did. What had she expected after earlier? She was weak, of course they had noticed.
"Haibara's death," he said sternly. His voice took a dangerous edge, but his gaze softened when she flinched at his name. "wasn't your fault. The higher up's never should have never sent him and Nanami on that mission alone."
Satoru's heart picked up in her chest. "Doesn't matter," she replied. "I'm the Strongest, I'm supposed to take care of it."
Suguru's face turned stormy. "You're one person," he insisted. "Just because you're the Strongest doesn't mean you're responsible for everyone. Yu wouldn't have blamed you-"
"Nanami does," she cut in. That got him to shut up. Her fingers curled into a fist; she knew it for a fact. Nanami never said it, but she could see it in his eyes. How coldly he looked at her, he definitely blamed her for not being there.
And he was right. She had failed him and Haibara.
Warms hands cupped her face and she shivered; Suguru never touched her face. She was starting to feel hot. "Listen to me," he spoke lowly, his warm dark eyes intense. "I don't care what those awful people you call your clan have told you all your life, you're not a god. You're strong, no one can deny that, but you're still a person. You can't be everywhere."
His hold on her cheeks tightened. "You can't save everyone." Those words were like an arrow to her chest, swift and piercing. She trembled, staggering into him. "I know. I know it hurts and I'm sorry. I wish I could take this burden from you."
Satoru shook her head. "I- You don't get it." Her chin wobbled as the reality of what he was telling her hit her. "I have to be able to save everyone. If I don't, what's the point of being strong? What-" Her words caught in her throat: What's my purpose? Why do I exist?
Suguru buried his hands into her hair, cradling the back of her head as he brought her to his shoulder. "You're worth more than what you can do for everyone else," he told her softly and every word was another squeeze to her heart. "I know you don't believe me and that's okay. I'll tell you as many times as I have to."
He was wrong; so, so wrong. But Satoru didn't tell him that, she just let him hold her because seemed to adamant about it. If it made him feel better, then so be it.
But Satoru knew the truth. As long as she was Satoru Gojo, it was on her shoulders to hold everyone else up. It was a curse she could never escape.
XXX
Satoru popped into their new apartment the minute the kids walked through the door. "Hi!" she greeted. "How was camp?"
Tsumiki smiled when she saw her. "So cool!" she answered. "I'm finally getting the hang of my spins!" She demonstrated, catching herself before she got too dizzy. "They took us to the petting zoo-" She quickly covered her mouth.
Megumi sent her a scathing glare. "Thanks a lot, Tsumiki," he hissed.
Tsumiki looked like she wanted to cry; her brother was never upset with her. "I'm sorry."
Ah, she saw what was going on here. "Forging my signature, Gumi?" she teased him. She wasn't angry about it; it was a field trip she would have let them go on anyway. Though, she wished they had gone to her, it really wasn't a big deal.
He crossed his arms and refused to look at her. "What about it?" he tested, trying to get a rise out of her. He tried to test her patience often, trying to get her to lash out at him. Like he wanted to prove that she didn't care about him. It wouldn't work, of course, she was the one who wrote the book on getting on people's nerves.
"It wasn't like that!" said Tsumiki hurriedly. She did that a lot, try to take the blame for her brother. As if something bad would happen to him if she didn't; as if Satoru would yell at or hit him and she was trying to direct that onto herself.
Her poor babies.
"We just didn't wanna bother you!" the little girl continued. "We know you work really hard and that we just moved. Megumi thought it would just be easier if he wrote your signature."
"Hey," said Satoru gently. She cupped Tsumiki's cheek and ruffled Megumi's hair, even if the boy tried to shove her hand away. "You're not in trouble. It really isn't a big deal."
They both looked surprised at that. "It's not?" they asked in tandem.
She laughed. "Of course not," she assured them. "Something as harmless as a field trip, you'll always have my permission. I'd rather you come to me first, but if I'm not here or you forget, sign away."
Mgeumi gave her a skeptical look. "You're not mad?"
Satoru playfully stuck her tongue out at him. "Nope. But we might have a problem if I do sign things from now on. Let me see the slip?" He handed it over and her jaw dropped. It was an exact replica of her signature. She was actually impressed. "When did you-?"
"The lease," he begrudgingly admitted. "I was there when you signed it after you burned breakfast."
"It was slightly charred," Satoru corrected (so she wasn't the greatest cook, sue her!). Still, seeing her signature once and being able to copy it almost perfectly... She had the feeling she was going to have her hands full with her little troublemaker.
She wouldn't have it any other way.