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“You okay?” Tim asks, glancing at her from over the console as he slows the truck to a stop at a red light. “You’ve been kind of different the past few days.”
“I’m fine,” Lucy says, nodding; but she’s staring out the window instead of at him. “I’m fine…,” she repeats, a little more believable this time. “Maybe a little worried about the added workload…the next steps…”
Lucy had been shadowing Angela and Nyla a lot more the past week, gearing up to become a detective herself, when she wasn’t at work, she was studying for the detectives exam. Manuals and textbooks littered almost every surface of her living room.
“You worried about the exam?” he questions as he slowly presses the gas and they continue forward.
“Maybe…” she trails off, knowing it’s way more than just the exam that’s weighing on her.
“Lucy,” he says her name so softly and she knows he knows there’s so much she’s not saying right now.
She sits there in silence for a beat, curling her hands together in her lap, glancing down at them. Lucy feels Tim’s gaze leave her as the truck lurches forward and Lucy can guess that the light changed.
“A lot is riding on this exam,” Lucy hedges, slowly. “My whole career.”
Maybe she’s being a little over dramatic - she has studied her ass off for it; she knows the material inside and out; she’s been through enough Tim-tests and has enough experience on the job to ace the written portion.
And even if by some chance she does fail, she can just sign up for the next one.
It’s so much more than just the Detective’s exam, it’s what comes after her move up - to more responsibility, more cases, longer hours. Lucy isn’t backing down from taking the exam or from advancing her career - it’s what she wants and it’s important to her.
However, it’s not the only thing that’s important to her.
Tim .
He’s also important to her. In ways she never would have imagined he would be and she doesn’t want to lose that. She doesn’t want to lose him - doesn’t even want to imagine what that would feel like.
“It’s more than that though, isn’t it?” he asks as he takes a turn - the one that will take them to the station.
Of course he can read her so easily.
“You know me so well,” she says softly and it’s so different from that time when she was in the hospital and he brought her that burger; but the meaning behind it is the same. No matter the status of their relationship - he knows her.
“A little bit,” she finally admits as he pulls into that station to drop her off before he heads to Metro.
She unbuckles her seatbelt when the truck comes to a stop, shifting in her seat so that she can fully face him. Lucy takes a breath. “I know that we need to talk -”
“It’s too much for right now,” Tim finishes for her, reaching across the space and placing a hand across her knee.
She scrunches up her face. “Considering we both have to be at work… yeah.”
“Afterwards.”
Lucy leans across the console and presses a quick kiss to his lips before pulling away. “After,” she repeats before grabbing her things, pulling the door handle and pushing the truck’s door open.
She stands on the sidewalk in front of the station for a beat while she watches his truck pull away.
Though it’s another late day for both of them; but not too late that they can’t have a decently timed dinner. Even if it is take-out.
But the first thing Lucy does when they step through the front door is kick off her shoes, and lets out a sigh of relief when her sock feet hit the hardwood floor.
“I’m going to go take a quick shower,” Lucy calls after Tim as he heads towards the kitchen. She wants to wash away the day.
Lucy’s walking back into the kitchen fifteen minutes later, dressed in an oversized t-shirt and her loose hair, still damp from her shower draped over her shoulder. She finds Tim at the kitchen island dishing out their take out onto plates.
“Do you want to talk now or later?” Tim hedges slowly, not wanting to push her.
Lucy settles onto a bar stool and reaches for the beer bottle that he slides across the island towards her; before taking his own seat next to her.
Her fingers pick at the label of her beer bottle that’s perched on the island in front of her. “It sounds stupid when you say it out loud.”
“Try me,” he challenges almost immediately.
“I’m worried about not seeing you as much,” Lucy admits. “With how demanding detective schedules are, on top of your metro schedule…I just, I’m afraid we’re going to lose what we’ve built.”
“I’m not going to lie to you,” Tim turns on his stool to fully face her, reaches across the space and grasps her hand with his own. “It’s not going to be easy ; but we’re going to figure it out.”
“You sound so sure.”
“Because I’m sure about us ,” Tim tells her, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.
Lucy glances up at him and she’s reminded about why she fell in love with him in the first place; the open and vulnerable side of him he doesn’t let just anyone see.
“It’ll probably be a rough first few months; but I know we’ll figure it out.”
“I’m just afraid of messing this all up,” Lucy admits after a while. “I meant it when I told you that this was the most important relationship to me.”
“We’ve made it this far, Lucy. We’ve gotten through working at the same station,” he continues, listing off everything. “My move to metro - we can get through your move to detective.”
They continue to sit there, eating their dinner, drinking their beers and finishing their conversation; Lucy’s fears and anxiety easing slightly with each passing moment. She knows it’s not going away overnight; but there’s a part of her that knows they’ll figure it out.
Together.
This relationship feels so much different than ones she’s had in the past. She always felt like something was missing in her past relationships; but she doesn’t feel that here.
Tim isn’t Emmett, he isn’t Chris, he isn’t Nolan.
Lucy never felt sure in those relationships - she never even felt scared of losing them. She never saw a future with them; but she does with Tim.
Tim squeezes her hand gently, pulling her attention back towards him. “What are you thinking about?”
“That I’m ready for the next challenge.”