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Hanzo has this habit where on clear nights, he feels this itch to be under the dark, starry sky. Gibraltar base, with its wide open spaces and cliff side location, proved to be the perfect outlet.
On rare occasions Cole was invited along, he kept his curiosity to himself. It ultimately drove Cole to ask Genji about his brother’s nightly excursions, whose only reply was to shrug and say, “my brother has his odd habits and that one persevered through all the Shimada training."
Years of being a Blackwatch agent keeps Cole tuned to his surroundings at all times and it is no different when one night, he is awakened by Hanzo’s quiet shuffling, followed by Athena’s chime as he exits their shared room in the middle of the night.
Cole attempts to return to his sleep but his body refuses to unwind; just a few months of having Hanzo share his bed was enough for Cole’s mind to convince itself that Hanzo was a permanent fixture. Without his warm body pressed against Cole, it proved impossible to return to his sleep. Still, Cole drifts off into a light slumber while his mind stays awake, awaiting Hanzo’s return.
His ears finally register the returning chime as the door soundlessly swings open, Hanzo’s steps making quiet clicks as he moves into the room. A few seconds later, he feels their shared blanket being lifted and Hanzo slips underneath.
He wraps his arm around Cole’s torso, pulling himself close to Cole’s back and after a few beats, Hanzo nuzzles into Cole’s neck, his beard scratching the skin and making Cole shiver pleasantly.
Cole gives Hanzo a few minutes before shifting around and turning to face him, his lips pulling into an easy, sleepy smile in the dark. “Hey sweetheart,” he grumbles out, “You alright?”
Hanzo gives him a small affirming noise as he burrows against Cole’s chest.
“You’re cold all over, Han.” Cole works around to tuck their blanket under Hanzo.
He returns his arm around Hanzo when he’s done and presses a soft kiss between Hanzo’s eyes.
“You sure, sweetheart?” He asks with his lips pressed against Hanzo’s skin. “Don’t lie to me now,” he teases softly.
“I am fine,” Hanzo murmurs, “Go back to sleep.”
“C’mon now, Han. Don’t be like that,” Cole chides his lover gently.
Hanzo huffs and stays quiet, but Cole knows to wait it out - Hanzo will come to him when he’s ready.
“I needed to get out.” Hanzo finally admits out loud.
“Wait, what?” Cole asks, his mind alerting itself to full awareness.
“I couldn’t fall asleep and I needed to get out,” Hanzo further clarifies.
“Yeah, been there. Why didn’t you wake me up?” Cole asks. “I did not want to bother you,” Hanzo replies.
“Aww, Han, there’s no such thing.” Cole smiles, planting another kiss on him. “Ain’t nothin’ you could do that’d bother me.”
Hanzo’s returning chuckle settles deep inside Cole, making him squeeze Hanzo tighter against him. Hanzo grumbles but it quickly ends into a slight sigh as he resettles against Cole.
They share the same breath, the quiet surrounding them both peaceful and awaiting. Cole feels Hanzo take a silent, deep breath and waits a bit more for Hanzo to collect himself.
“I used to do this often,” Hanzo shares, voice almost a whisper. “It was all I could do for myself. You have seen the Shimada compound, right? The castle?” Hanzo asks.
“Yeah, I did. Looked real tall and regal.”
“I knew my way around a sword since I was five, learned how to climb a wall by nine.” Cole suppresses the urge to comfort him. While the narration itself was deceptively calm, he knew he could never comprehend the depth of the scars the clan left on Hanzo.
“It might not have gotten so overwhelming. Then mother died and that was the end.”
They both cling on to each other then; Cole wanting to press comfort into him as tightly as he can while Hanzo takes in Cole’s scent which quickly became synonymous with home early into their relationship.
“Climbing was all I had. Genji took his freedom any way he could and I did not begrudge him that but…” Hanzo sighs, “it still left me bereft of anything that I could do for myself.”
“Sounds real lonely, sweetheart.” Cole glances down to catch Hanzo’s face but the dark swallows the sight - he placates himself and provides comfort by nuzzling into Hanzo’s hair.
“The castle had its tall walls, and training kept me confined within them but the sky, it was limitless. They could not stop me from climbing.”
“You used to climb that high? Han, that ain’t safe.”
“Well, I would not be the heir if I fell,” Hanzo says, a smile painting his voice. “Besides, you see me climb during missions often enough. This cannot be a surprise to you.”
“Yeah well, you're big and handsome now. A fall ain’t gonna kill now,” Cole joked.
“Flattery will get you nowhere, Cole." In his mind, Cole sees the playful twinkle Hanzo's eyes shine with whenever he teases Cole with his dry tone.
They share a quiet laugh and the comforting silence settles between them again.
“I used to do that whenever I simply felt like I did not belong. The urge to leave it all behind was always just a step away but leaving was inconceivable. So I would wait till the castle was asleep to leave the only way I could.”
“You been feelin’ like that lately?” Cole asks, a part of him nervous to hear the answer.
Hanzo holds his reply in for a bit before he sighs again. “I now know that the ancestral castle rarely felt like a home. My honor held me from realizing it back then but I know now. Old habits die hard…”
“Don’t gotta tell me that twice,” Cole interrupts Hanzo with a laugh, while almost hearing the eye roll he’s sure Hanzo just gave him.
"Yes, Cole, I am aware of that. I smell the cigar on your breath often enough,” Hanzo mutters under his breath. “I still feel the pull to simply lay under the sky and let it ease my burdens but it’s different now,” Hanzo concludes.
“How so?” Cole asks.
“I used to want to disappear every time I gazed at the stars but now I know I belong somewhere.”
Cole feels his heart skip a beat at that, all thoughts vanishing from his mind.
“I have a home now. It’s not a place - rather it’s a person.” Hanzo’s arm tightens around him but Cole still feels himself unravel apart. “The dark sky still feels welcoming, and the waves add just the right level of peace but it’s not the same anymore.”
Hanzo pulls away from Cole, increasing the distance between them by a few inches. “I go and stare at the sky but you pull me back in.” Hanzo closes the distance between them, gently kissing Cole’s breath away.
“I give into the habit that I relied on for years to find some semblance of peace when I need to find it. It still is the same sky I used to look at but now, you are the home I used to yearn for.” Hanzo concludes his thought by pressing a string of kisses along Cole’s jaw before tucking himself under his chin.
Cole’s throat threatens to choke him with all the unsaid words as he struggles to say something that would carry even a fraction of the affection and love Hanzo just bestowed on him.
Ultimately, his dilemma runs on for too long - he feels Hanzo’s deep, slow breaths against him, the movement dislodging the tightness inside him.
He plants a few quiet kisses along Hanzo’s hairline and holds him as close as he can, finally feeling his body give into sleep himself.