Chapter Text
Kamisato Ayato. No one in Inazuma has not heard of his name. With a voice as enchanting as the sirens, elegant features and impeccable stage presence, he was able to captivate the hearts and minds of every single one of his audience. It didn’t take long for him to reach the peak of his theatre career when he first stepped on stage. He even had the honour of performing for the Raiden Shogun at one point in his career. At the age of 26, he had everything anyone could hope to have.
“Kamisato-kun, this is my daughter, Kaede. Would you consider taking her hand in marriage? Kaede is a very gentle child who’s really good at cooking and sewing. She would make the perfect wife.” The noble handed Ayato a photo of his daughter.
Needless to say, he was the most sought after bachelor in Inazuma as well. Many nobles and merchants alike offered their children’s hands in marriage.
“I’m sorry. Your daughter is very charming, but I’m not looking for marriage right now.” Ayato rejected the noble gently with a smile.
“Still, you should try going out with Kaede for a month, maybe you’ll develop some mutual feelings for each other.” The noble pressed.
“I’m sorry Yamamoto-san, but there are fans in the line waiting for their turn. I wouldn’t want to keep them waiting.” Ayato pressed the photo back into the noble’s hand. “Thank you for coming to the show today.” He smiled again, hoping the noble would finally leave.
That was just one of the countless numbers of proposals Ayato had received during the meet and greet session. As usual, he rejected all of them. He was more than glad to be rid of them as soon as the meet and greet was over.
“Those damn nobles, when will they learn to stop?” He grumbled as he changed out of his stage attire.
Ayato was exhausted. But those damned nobles had to keep coming and trying to get him to hook up with their children. He removed the accessories on his hair and replaced it with a straw hat that covered his face.
“Ayato-san! Are you not coming for the celebration dinner? Yae-sama is treating the crew tonight.” Aratani, a staff member, asked.
“Please give my apologies to the crew, I am tired from today’s performance. Please go ahead and enjoy yourselves.” Ayato flashed Aratani his signature smile.
“I understand! I’ll be sure to give the rest your apologies!” Aratani blushed from being in such close proximity to the signature smile and quickly shuffled away.
Ayato quickly left the theatre before he bumped into anyone else. However, he only managed to take a few steps before he was recognised.
“Excuse me, are you perhaps Kamisato Ayato-san?” A young lady on the street approached him.
“You’ve got the wrong person.” Ayato put on his signature smile for the umpteenth time today.
“But I’m pretty sure-”
Ayato’s face, in particular his smile, twitched and wavered.
“I’m sorry, but I really have to go.” Ayato said curtly and swiftly walked away, joining the throngs of people on the street. Pulling his hat lower, he turned the corner into a narrow street. The dimly lit street was home to many shady characters and shops. Someone of Ayato’s status didn’t belong here.
And yet, hidden in this narrow street was his destination.
“Ayato-kun! Welcome back. How was your show today?” The owner greeted him.
“Fine I guess.” Ayato took a seat at the counter in front of the owner.
“Just fine? Words of praise for your show are all I hear when I walk on the streets now.” The owner placed a cup of sake in front of Ayato.
“I don’t want to hear a word about it.” Ayato clicked his tongue and took a sip of his sake. He hummed in satisfaction at the way the alcohol flowed down his throat.
“Where did your manners go? I wonder what the nation would think of you if they knew how rude and disrespectful the Theatre Prince actually is.” The owner shook his head.
Ayato scowled and glared at the owner. He hated that cheesy nickname the press had coined for him and the owner was fully aware of it.
“What’s with the glare? You know I’m just kidding.” The owner laughed heartily.
The bell above the door rang, catching Ayato’s attention. A muscular young man with raven black hair walked into the bar. He sat one stool away from Ayato and ordered a drink. Ayato downed the rest of his sake and set his cup down on the bar counter. He looked over at the guy.
“Hey there, mind if you buy me a drink too?” He leaned in closer to the young man, leaning his chin onto his hand and smiling flirtatiously.
“Oh! Erm… sure!” Charmed by Ayato, the man stuttered nervously and flusteredly ordered another cup of sake. The owner placed the two cups down in front of them, but not without throwing a disapproving look at Ayato.
After a few cups of sake and a few jokes thrown around, the man was wrapped around Ayato’s finger.
Men are as easy as they come. They are all the same.
Ayato slowly slid his hands down onto the man’s thigh.
The man jumped when he felt the hand on his thigh. But it didn’t take long for him to suggest they go elsewhere.
All of them are just as equally pathetic.
Ayato let the man lead him out of the bar and into an inn room. As soon as the door closed behind Ayato, he let the man pull him into a kiss before he was pushed down onto the bed. In his drunken stupor, the man sloppily tore off Ayato’s clothes and started leaving hickeys on Ayato’s body.
Ayato wrapped his arms around the man’s neck and pulled him closer, while whispering temptations into his ear. Despite how shy the young man seemed earlier, he was surprisingly bold in bed. He grabbed Ayato’s thighs and spread them apart, placing Ayato’s legs on his shoulders. Ayato grinded forward into the man’s crotch impatiently in anticipation for the night ahead.
But I’m the most pathetic one.
_________ 🌊 _________
Ayato woke up the next day to a cold and empty bed. He sat up and dug around the bed for his clothes before leaving the inn. The first few rays of the sun were just beginning to break through the surface as Ayato made his way home in the still dim streets.
Well, calling it his home was generous. Despite having bought it years ago, he barely lived in it. Opting to spend the night in numerous inns with anyone that fell to his temptations.
His house was bare of any personality, the bed was still pristine and free of any wrinkles. All that was in his house was the furniture that came along with it — namely a dining table and a few chairs. All he added was a sofa and a bed.
Ayato headed straight for the bathroom as soon as he arrived home. He took off his clothes and examined the hickeys and bite marks left from the previous night in the mirror. The man from last night enjoyed leaving his claims. Blue-purple spots were left everywhere on his body. Not a single part was spared. Ayato stepped into the shower. He took the sponge and scrubbed himself down with soap.
Disgusting.
He scrubbed himself hard. He could still feel the hands of the man on his body.
So revolting that even soap can’t clean the filth off.
He scrubbed himself even harder. Even when his skin turned red and stung from contact, he still didn’t stop.
“You disgust me.”
Ayato snarled and threw his sponge back on the floor. He turned on the hot water and stood under it, letting the water run down his body.
“You shouldn’t have been born.”
He turned off the hot water, dried himself and stepped out of the shower in a bathrobe.
Ayato threw himself down onto a chair by the window. Having been granted a week off after wrapping up the latest show, Ayato now had much more free time than he needs on his hands.
Despite being one of the most popular stars in Inazuma, he had no one close enough to spend his time with. Family, friends, a partner.
He had none of those.
He stared listlessly out the window from his seat. His house was located right in the heart of Inazuma city along the main street, giving him an unobstructed view. He watched the common folk go along with their lives: A merchant getting his goods ready for the day, a girl laughing at something her friend said, a child pulling his mother along by her sleeve, visibly excited to show her something. Ayato unconsciously ran his nails across his wrists.
How he longed to join the bustle of the city. The only thing that separated him from them was a thin pane of glass, but he could never become part of their world. Each and everyone of them were able to move carefreely under the warm sunlight, far from the nightmares that Ayato was submerged in.
He was an unwelcomed outlander.
He turned his head away from the window and closed his eyes. The next time he opened them, the sun was blazing brightly above in the sky. It was well into noon, and his stomach was rumbling in protest. He pushed himself up from the chair to get changed.
He took off his bathrobe and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Dull and lightless purple eyes looked back at his bruise filled body. He turned away in repulse and hurriedly pulled on a new set of clothes to cover himself. Searching around the house, he found an unused blanket and threw it over the mirror.
He tugged on his straw hat and stepped out into the bustling street, sifted through the crowd and entered the first restaurant he saw to grab a meal. He quickly devoured a plate of Sakura Tempura and Ramen and left. With nothing to do, he found himself wandering the streets pointlessly.
He soon found himself at Hanamizaka, an area much less populated and far quieter than the main streets. The prosperity of the city had not yet influenced the scenery here, making it quite an enjoyable place to be for those seeking peace and quiet. Ayato strolled down the paths that were visibly aged from years of use, enjoying the light breeze in the air when suddenly, something jumped from the corner of his eye and snatched his hat away.
“What-”
The figure landed in front of him. A ginger cat held his hat in its mouth. It gave Ayato a brief glance before running away.
“Hey! Get back here!” Ayato chased after it. The cat was agile, leaping out of his reach every time Ayato got close enough to grab it. It soon led Ayato to a huge sakura tree located in the centre of Hanamizaka. The cat stopped in front of the sakura tree and trotted up to someone who was seated beneath it.
“Goldilocks! Where were you and what’s that you have there?” The man spoke, his voice gentle. The cat dropped Ayato’s hat into the man’s lap.
“A hat? Where did you get this? Did you steal this from someone?” The man frowned, gently chiding the cat. “Bad kitty! You shouldn’t steal from others.”
The cat meowed at the man, tilting its head and staring at the man.
“...” The man said nothing, staring right back at the cat with a stern frown that soon let up. He sighed. “Ahhh, you know I can’t resist those cute round eyes of yours. C’mon here.”
He moved the hat to the ground beside him and opened his hands for the cat to jump into his lap. The cat immediately leapt at the welcome invitation and purred contentedly as the man stroked its back. Another cat appeared and walked up to the man, rubbing its head against his knee, while a dog that Ayato didn’t notice earlier placed its hind paws onto the man’s arm.
“Alright, alright I got it. Goldilocks, your turn is over.” The man chuckled. The cat meowed and refused to move from its spot in the man’s lap. The man sighed and shook his head at the cat’s refusal to move. He looked up and finally noticed Ayato’s presence.
“Oh! Hello.” The man said.
“Hello.” Ayato replied.
“Is there something you’re looking for? Oh! This hat must be yours.” The man came to a realisation. He moved the disgruntled cat off his lap and picked up the hat, standing up to hand the hat to Ayato.
“I’m sorry for Goldilocks’s behaviour. She can be really mischievous at times, but she’s a really affectionate one once you get to know her.” The man chuckled.
“It’s no big issue.” Ayato said. The thought had crossed his mind earlier but the man in front of him had a really nice voice. Now that he took a closer look at the guy, he was pretty handsome.
Rare blonde hair framed the man's doe eyes which were coloured with an equally rare green. He had a small nose accompanied by a gentle smile on his face as he bent down to pet the dog.
“Do you want to pet him?” The man asked, sensing Ayato’s stare.
“...No it’s alright. Animals don’t seem to like me.” Ayato said.
“Is that so? I’m sure Taroumaru here won’t mind, he’s very friendly.”
“I shouldn’t.”
“It’s fine! I guarantee you, Taroumaru won’t bite. Right Taroumaru?” The man cooed at the dog. The dog barked once and looked at Ayato from where it sat.
Well, the dog did seem friendly enough. Plus who was he to reject this handsome stranger’s offer? Ayato slowly reached his hand towards the dog’s head, and stopped just a hair’s breadth away. As if sensing Ayato's hesitance, the dog leaned its head into Ayato’s outreached palm and rubbed its head against it happily, tail wagging excitedly.
“See?” The man chuckled. Seeing the man’s smile, Ayato cracked a small one himself.
“Thoma! Stop playing with the animals and come help this old man with the wares!” An older man leading a horse pulling a cart shouted.
“Oh! I’m sorry but I have to go now. It was nice to meet you.” The man flashed him one last smile before running towards the older man.
“Dad! I told you to leave the transportation of the wares to the employees! At your age, you’re going to injure yourself.” The man, apparently named Thoma, chided the older man.
“These are valuable goods that came all the way from Fontaine, I just don’t feel at ease if I don’t transport them myself.”
“At least bring a few of the employees with you!” Thoma nagged and took the horse lead from his father.
“Alright, alright. Just so you’ll stop nagging at me.” The old man shook his head.
“...” Ayato stared at the father-son duo heading back into the city. Taroumaru whined and placed his paw onto Ayatos’ arm, stopping him from digging his nails into his wrist.
“Thank you for worrying about me, but it’s alright. I’m fine.” Ayato broke his gaze and stroked Taroumaru’s head.
“Tho-ma.” Ayato whispered the name, testing the way the name rolled off his tongue. Ayato smiled to himself. “It’s a nice name.”
_________ 🎵 _________
The pungent smell of alcohol filled the house, drowning Ayato. He was huddled in a corner, as a man towered over him, a glass bottle in his hands.
“Father, please stop.” He whimpered and held his bleeding arm close to his body.
“Shut your mouth.” His father slurred. “You look just like that gold digger of a mother, leaving as soon as I lost everything and leaving me with a burden of a son who can’t even do anything right!”
“No, that’s not true… mother, mother left because-!”
“I said, shut it! You remind me too much of her. Ayato’s father shouted. “Useless, and pathetic piece of shit, you shouldn’t have been born! All you do is bring misery to everyone around you! You disgust me.”
Ayato bit down a whimper, knowing that it would only anger his father more. He held his head with his hands. A tear fell from his eyes, bringing along with it the light that he held in his eyes.
_________ 🎵 _________
Ayato snapped his eyes open to another cold and empty bed in a different inn this time. He groaned and placed his face in his hands.
Not again. He thought he would’ve gotten used to these dreams by now. It’s been years and he was still tormented by them.
Pathetic.
He reached down for his clothes that were abandoned on the floor, and left the room after getting dressed. It was well into the afternoon when he left today. He grabbed a quick bite before he found himself at a loss for where to go.
An image of a certain blonde man suddenly came to his mind, and before he knew it, his feet started to move.
The cacophony of the main street and the stretch of wooden buildings eventually gave way to the rustling of the trees and bright sakura blossoms that reminded Ayato of a certain kitsune. The sakura tree from yesterday came into view. And just like yesterday, the same blonde man was seated beneath it. He had a fond look on his face as he watched the animals chow down on the food he had given them. He looked up, noticing Ayato’s presence.
“Ah! It’s you again.” He waved. “I wasn’t expecting to see you again, ummm…?”
“Ayato. It’s nice to see you again.”
“You too! I’m Thoma.” Thoma smiled. “Ayato-san, are you here to see these little critters?”
“Yes. I couldn’t help but want to see them again.” Ayato bent down and petted Taroumaru who trotted up to him happily. He was actually here to see the blonde, but he wouldn’t divulge that.
“I know! They’re the cutest things!” Thoma laughed. “It’s unfortunate that they’re strays. I would take them in if I could but my dad is allergic to them. So instead, I just come here whenever I can to play with them. It fills my heart that now there’s someone else who’ll do the same.”
“Mmhmm.” Ayato glanced at Thoma and hummed in agreement.
“Thoma-san, this might be presumptuous of me to ask but I’ve been wondering. Are you from Inazuma?”
“I’m half Inazuman, although I only recently came to Inazuma to help my father with his business. My mother is from Mondstadt and I was living with her before.”
That made sense now. Ayato had realised from their first meeting, but Thoma didn’t seem to recognise him. Even after giving Thoma his name, Thoma still didn’t seem to know who he was. Not that Ayato minded though. He preferred it this way.
“I stand out a lot here don’t I? I get so many looks whenever I go into town.” Thoma touched his hair “Maybe I should consider dying it.”
“That would be a pity. Your blonde hair looks good on you, it complements your eyes.” Ayato said as he sat himself down beside Thoma.
“Is that so? If Ayato-san says so, then maybe I’ll leave it as it is.”
Noticing the faint redness on Thoma’s face, Ayato chuckled to himself. How cute.
Accompanied by the animals and the gentle breeze, the two spent the rest of the afternoon under the sakura tree, talking about anything, and everything. It had been a long time since Ayato was able to feel so carefree and relaxed.
“Goodness, it's already so late!” Thoma exclaimed and pulled himself up from the ground. “I better get going before dad worries.” Thoma extended a hand towards Ayato.
“Thank you, Thoma-san.” Ayato graciously accepted it.
“Call me Thoma. Thoma-san sounds so formal.” Thoma said as he pulled Ayato up.
“Alright Thoma. You can just call me Ayato then.”
“How could I? Ayato-san, you’re older than me right?” Thoma said, flustered.
“It's alright, really.” Ayato laughed, seeing Thoma’s reaction.
“I couldn’t!” Thoma shook his head.
“I won’t force you then.”
Ayato would frequent the sakura tree everyday for the rest of the week. Thoma was like a breath of fresh air, a gentle gust of wind that just sweeps his troubles away. With him, Ayato didn’t need to put on a show, he didn’t need to keep up the pretence in front of Thoma. He could just be himself. Not Kamisato Ayato, the theatre prince, but just Kamisato Ayato, a plain young man who was still navigating the world.
“I’m afraid I might not be able to come as usual tomorrow. I have to get back to work tomorrow.” Ayato said.
“That’s unfortunate, these little critters will miss you. Especially Taroumaru, he seems to have taken a liking to you.” Thoma replied.
“Only the little critters will miss me?”
“I will too… of course.” Thoma said softly, a faint blush painted across his cheeks. “I mean, you’ve been great company for the past few days and I’ll definitely miss your company.” Thoma flusteredly added.
“I’ll miss your company too.” Ayato chuckled. Thoma was really cute when shy. “I’ll come if I finish work early.”
“That’ll be nice, but you don’t have to force yourself to.”
“I come because I want to.” Ayato said.
“I’m glad to hear that.” Thoma grinned.
If not for years of acting, Ayato would have collapsed right then and there at how radiant Thoma looked when he smiled. Yup, he’s definitely coming tomorrow. No matter what.