Chapter Text
A sterile scion: I'm never what you wanted
Dorian of House Pavus, the only child of Tevinter magister Halward and his wife Aquinea Thalrassian, was born in 9:11 Dragon Age, in what used to be the greatest human civilization of the Thedosian continent. He was born to fulfill a plan, more precisely – brought to life to fulfill a plan, as he depicts his origins bitterly: "I am the scion of house Pavus, a product of generations of careful breeding, and the repository of its hopes and dreams. Naturally, I despised it all." He struck his name out of the family tree, putting the magnificent Pavus legacy to slow death. He grew up to turn against everything that had been imposed on him without his consent, perhaps the only exception being his sexual orientation embraced as one of the focal points of his conscious self-image. He is encountered as a flamboyant, defiant rebel ready to reform his country which welters in moral corruption and decadence.
What draws attention in Dorian almost immediately is the extravagant fashion style, the loud demeanor (which leaves an impression that this man, reaching his thirties during the storyline of Inquisition, has not completely abandoned a teenager's frame of mind), and a grandiose, egocentric, apparently shallow manner of self-appreciation.
[from conversations in Haven and Skyhold]
Inquisitor: [Tell me about yourself.]
(the first time you speak)
Dorian: [...] And beyond my being so charming and well-dressed? Which is obvious to anyone.
(later on)
Dorian: [...] I never tire of talking about myself.
Dorian: [...] Distracted? By my wit and charm? I have plenty of both.
(a dialogue option available in Skyhold if you have sided with the templars)
Dorian : But I am the ideal spy: charming, clever, perfect teeth and hair. It all fits.
[from party banter]
Dorian: You caught the eye of a young woman in that last village, Blackwall.
Blackwall: I'm sure you're mistaken.
Dorian: You're right. She was undoubtedly looking at me.
Blackwall: It's odd how you've won over so many at Skyhold, Dorian.
Dorian: You're surprised they haven't all dismissed me as "the charming, but ultimately wicked magister"?
(with Blackwall)
Dorian: I am very good at the whole magic thing.
(with Cassandra)
Dorian: I always smile. People like my smile, and they should! I have excellent teeth.
Cassandra: You're not as handsome as you think, Dorian.
Dorian: I must be, or you wouldn't have been thinking about it all this time.
Cassandra: Anyone who claims it as often as you must be dreadfully concerned they're not.
Dorian: Look at this profile. Isn't it incredible? I picture it in marble.
(Cole bantering with Dorian)
Cole: You say you're handsome all the time. Am I? I can't tell.
His family name is loaned from Latin, in which it means 'a peacock'. He seems to fit the allegoric meaning of this bird very well. Varric Tethras grants him the nickname Sparkler, intentionally emphasizing Dorian's aura of superficial luster. Throughout the gameplay of Dragon Age: Inquisition, the player-created Inquisitor is involved in Dorian's personal issues, to discover his other side: a man who has learned to mistrust his closest friends and relatives, who is deeply hurt, hopelessly unsatiated in love (unless he finds a partner within the Inquisition, but it turns out that his happiness cannot outlive the Inquisition itself), and alarmingly attracted to alcohol and money gambling (the latter happens mostly through party banter with Varric).
According to the biography featured in The World of Thedas, which briefly sums up events from Dorian's life prior to Dragon Age: Inquisition, the mage has shown a peculiar talent in sabotaging his father's scheme even as a little boy. He developed a habit of perpetrating trouble wherever he was delegated, only to be dispelled in disgrace. According to The World of Thedas, his childhood was a vicious circle of failed education attempts from 9:20 Dragon onwards. Dorian was first placed in a Circle in Carastes (a very prestigious one) when he was nine years old, already displaying magical abilities ahead of older boys and quickly becoming a bully to his peers. A senior enchanter in Carastes Circle is rather shocked to see the youngest boy actively bully others and impute jealousy to them, rather than respond to anticipated bullying:
My initial suspicion was that Dorian was being bullied by the older boys, but it appears the reverse is true. Your son has become a terror in the halls, lording his superior magic over the other boys, who he believes are jealous of his prowess. (WoT II, p. 233)
This picture brings an early portrayal of Draco Malfoy to mind: a little brat with a sense of superiority, marking his territory across the halls and bragging about his father's power and connections. It was only a matter of time when some impatient Harry Potter would try to cut Dorian down to size. His adventure in the circle ends with a brawl with another boy, leaving the victim injured, and Dorian closed in a solitary, stained with his first own scandal.
It is unfortunately unknown what happened with him in his teenage years. The next turning point in his biography is a spectacular run from a high-disciplined school with a clear religious undertone – one run by the Order of Argent in Minrathous. The event must have taken place in Dorian's puberty or early adolescence:
That [period – author] lasted exactly three months before Dorian disappeared... only to turn up in a drunken stupor at a house of ill repute in the elven slums. (WoT II, p. 233)
The discreet intervention of Halward's friend, magister Gereon Alexius, helped avoid the rumors this time. In his letter to Pavus Senior, Alexius admitted that he had heard some disturbing confessions from Dorian, and pledged to take him in as his apprentice, in deep respect for boy's talent and fine blood. Alexius also has suspicions about the motives of boy's behavior:
[...] once Dorian sobered up in the carriage, we had an interesting chat. He's rather despondent over the life's path you've charted for him – if I may speak frankly – and thus, I think a part of him sabotages all efforts to keep him on the straight and narrow, either to spite you or to punish himself. I cannot say. (WoT II, p. 233)
I think there couldn’t be a more adequate commentary on Dorian's condition at the time. Moreover, considering his complex psychological position (which I will explore later on), his defiant behavior may be a combination of both motives brought out by Alexius: recurring assaults on his father (both the 'real' father and Dorian's inner father object) which evoke massive guilt and push Dorian toward self-punishment.
Dorian spread his wings under Alexius's supervision. This period of his life must have been shaped be a completely different atmosphere than being a constant burden. The biography states that Alexius became his mentor, and Gereon's son Felix – a friend for life (who, unfortunately, canonically dies during DA: Inquisition). For a few years Dorian blossomed: he became an enchanter in the Circle of Minrathous, started gaining reputation of his own, and apparently was restored to father's favor. This seemingly idyllic period ended around 9:35 when Alexius lost his wife during a darkspawn attack and had Felix tainted with the Blight. Gereon became fixated on time magic (if only) in order to save Felix. Dorian, as it is reported, helped Alexius for the next two years, and practically sacrificed his riveting career in the Circle. In one of the letters to his father young Pavus wrote, not without frustration:
Yes, I am still in the estate and, yes, we are still chasing after the same hopeless quest. I keep hoping that Alexius will snap out of it. Was it not enough that we found a way to prolong Felix's life long past someone with such an illness would normally hope to expect? (WoT II, p. 233)
According to TheWorld of Thedas and Dorian's personal quest in DA: Inquisition, years 9:37-9:38 Dragon marked the hardest times in Dorian's lifetime. He ultimately fell out with Gereon Alexius, left magister's estate where he had been shielded from his father's influence and apparently entered a downward spiral of debauchery and heavy drinking. The World of Thedas reads as follows: Dorian spent next months "[...] drinking in the slums of Minrathous, evading anyone sent by his family to recover him". Then, he tried to reconcile with Alexius but found nobody in the family estate. The next fragment of the compendium is most disturbing:
With no indication where Alexius had gone, Dorian fell back to his debauchery, engaging in such excess that the scandal forced his family's hand. He was abducted from the home of Lord Ulio Abrexis – absent at the time, though his son was present – and spirited back to Qarinus by ship. (WoT II, p. 233)
Here, The World of Thedas cites correspondence between two magisters pleased by Halward's misfortune. The author of a short letter is truly delighted with the scandal: the heir of House Pavus was found in bedsheets with Lord Ulio's son and publicly outed as gay, in a fashion that was probably just as dirty as scandals among the bloodthirsty aristocracy can go. The incident ruined family reputation and Halward's dreams of promoting Dorian to become the next Archon.
In an effort to contain the scandal, Magister Halward evidently kept Dorian a veritable prisoner in their estate in Qarinus for months. When Dorian finally escaped, he fled into the countryside with not a coin to his name, vowing never to return. Whether his rage was due to the kidnapping, the imprisonment, or something else is unknown, but the obvious row within the Pavus family fueled the public speculation for many months. (WoT II, p. 234)
What has been unknown according to the compendium on Thedas, is actually revealed to the Inquisitor when Halward Pavus attempts to reconcile with his son in Redcliffe. These several months in 9:37-9:38 Dragon were most likely the time when Halward decided to resolve his family issues once and forever and scheduled the infamous blood magic ritual to change his son's sexual preferences. Dorian's confessions made on that occasion reveal that he had felt betrayed threefold: as a gay man, as a father's son, and as a human being – with his right to live on his own and be sincere with himself valued less than a scheme plotted for generations, power, reputation and honors:
Dorian: I prefer the company of men. My father disapproves. [...]
Halward: This display is uncalled for.
Dorian: No, it is called for. You called for it by luring me here.
Halward: This is not what I wanted.
Dorian: I'm never what you wanted, Father, or had you forgotten?
[...] Every Tevinter family is intermarrying to distill the perfect mage, perfect body, perfect mind. The perfect leader. It means every perceived flaw – every aberration – is deviant and shameful. It must be hidden.
[...] what was the first thing you did when your precious heir refused to play pretend for the rest of his life? You tried to change me!
Halward: I only wanted what was best for you!
Dorian: You wanted the best for you! For your fucking legacy! Anything for that!
Halward's evident weariness when he is trying to respond to Dorian's accusations suggests that the same vicious circle had been going on and on for a long time. "This is how it has always been", he explains to Inquisitor with a heavy sigh when Dorian spits at him with sarcastic remarks. Who takes more responsibility for it altogether remains to be seen. Let’s speculate on how it began – how Dorian became the man we meet in Dragon Age: Inquisition.